  Characters Gluck Hans Schwartz Little Old Gentleman Gluck. What a pity my brothers never ask anybody to dinner. I’m sure when they’ve got such a nice piece of mutton as this it would do their hearts good to have somebody to eat it with them. [Knock sounds at the door.] It must be the wind. Nobody else would dare to knock double knocks at our door. [Gluck goes to the window.] Little Old Gentleman. Hello! That’s not the way to answer the door. I am wet. Let me in. Gluck. I beg your pardon, sir. I am very sorry, but I really can’t. Little Old Gentleman. Can’t what? Gluck. I can’t let you in. I can’t, indeed. My brother will beat me, sir, if I thought of such a thing. What do you want, sir? Little Old Gentleman. Want? I want fire and shelter. There’s your great fire there blazing, cracking, and dancing on the walls with nobody to feel it. I only want to warm myself. Gluck. He does look very wet. I’ll just let him in for a little while. [Opens the door.] Little Old Gentleman. That’s a good boy. Gluck. Pray, sir, don’t do any such Little Old Gentleman. Dear me. I’m very sorry to hear that. How long may I stay? Gluck. Only till the mutton’s done, sir, and it’s very brown. [Little Old Gentleman seats himself before the fire.] You’ll soon dry there, sir. Mayn’t I take your cloak? Little Old Gentleman. No, thank you. Gluck. Your cap, sir? Little Old Gentleman. I am all right, thank you. Gluck. But, sir! I’m very sorry, but really, sir, you’re putting the fire out. Little Old Gentleman. It’ll take longer to Gluck. Impossible, sir. Little Old Gentleman. I’m very hungry. I’ve had nothing to eat yesterday nor to-day. They surely couldn’t miss a bit from the knuckle. Gluck. They promised me one slice to-day, sir. I can give you that. Little Old Gentleman. That’s a good boy. Gluck. [To himself.] I don’t care if I do get beaten for it. [Loud rap at the door. Schwartz and Hans enter.] Schwartz. What did you keep us waiting in the rain for? Hans. Ay, what for, indeed! Schwartz. Bless my soul, who’s that? Gluck. I don’t know, indeed, brother. Schwartz. How did he get in? Gluck. My dear brother, he was so very wet. Schwartz. Who are you, sir? Hans. What’s your business? Little Old Gentleman. I am a poor old man, sir, and I saw your fire through the window and begged shelter for a little while. Schwartz. Have the goodness to walk out again, then. Little Old Gentleman. It’s a cold day to turn an old man out, sir. Look at my gray hairs. Hans. Ay, there are enough of them to keep you warm. Walk! Little old Gentleman. I’m very, very hungry, sir. Couldn’t you spare me a bit of bread before I go? Schwartz. Bread, indeed! Do you suppose we’ve nothing to do with our bread but to give it to such fellows as you? Hans. Out with you. Little Old Gentleman. A little bit? Schwartz. Be off! Little Old Gentleman. Pray, gentlemen. Hans. Off! Little Old Gentleman. Gentlemen, I wish you a very good morning. At twelve o’clock to-night I’ll call again. But Schwartz. If I ever catch you here again—[To Gluck.] A very pretty business, indeed, Mr. Gluck. Dish the mutton, sir. If ever I catch you at such a trick again—bless me, why the mutton’s been cut. Gluck. You promised me one slice, brother, you know. Schwartz. Oh, you were cutting it hot, I suppose, and going to catch all the gravy. It will be long before I promise you such a thing again. Leave the room, sir, and have the kindness to wait in the coal cellar till I call you. Schwartz. [Starting up.] What’s that? Little Old Gentleman. Only I, Southwest Wind. Hans. The room is full of water, and the roof is off. Little Old Gentleman. Sorry, gentlemen. I am afraid your beds are dampish. Perhaps you had better go to your brother’s room. I’ve left the ceiling on there. You’ll find my card on the kitchen table. Remember, this is the last visit from Southwest Wind. |
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