FUNERALS.

At no place is a lack of system, and an observance of formality, more noticeable than at a funeral. An undertaker generally has charge of the details, and where he is well informed and has sufficient assistance, he can manage affairs nicely, but there is a great deal of unostentatious service that may be done by friends, indeed, must be. They can assist the servants in arranging the house, flowers, etc., before the funeral; meet any who may call at the door; and in every way stand between the afflicted family and the outside world. Of course none but intimate friends can be of service at such a time. All others, no matter how willing, can but call at the door with offers of service, and even that should not be carried far enough to appear intrusive.

At a house funeral the family remains upstairs, or in a side room, and is not seen. The remains are in the drawing-room, where they are usually viewed by those present when passing out. The clergyman stands near the head of the casket, if in so doing his voice can be well heard. If there is singing, it is usually done by a quartet or by a smaller number of persons, who are seated at the head of the stairs out of sight and unaccompanied by any musical instrument. Those who are not going to the cemetery quietly disperse at the close of the service. Carriages are in waiting for the family, and the cortege moves as soon after the close of the service as possible.

In the meantime the nurse (if one still remains at the house), or some friend, with the assistance of the servants, makes everything look as natural and pleasant as possible before the return of the family. If visitors come in later, of course it depends upon circumstances whether or not they should be admitted.

Church funerals are more formal. The congregation assembles, and when the carriages containing the family arrive, the organ plays softly, and the procession enters, the relatives walking close to the casket, and sitting as near it as possible. After the services the procession moves out in the same order, and the people in the pews wait until is has passed on.

The crÊpe that is hung at the door-bell has often combined with it ribbon streamers, those for the aged being black, for a younger person purple, and for a child white with white crÊpe also. Flowers should be sent to the bereaved, in due time after the death, in token of sympathy.

MOURNING.

The putting on of mourning is a question that should be decided entirely by those most deeply concerned. Many families never follow the custom, and even wear white instead of black on the day of the funeral, while others seem to consider the wearing of crÊpe as a mark of respect shown to the dead. To assume the expense such a change in clothing would entail, may sometimes be placing a burden upon the living for the sake of the dead, which certainly neither custom nor reason should demand. Then, to many, the wearing of crÊpe is so depressing that it is a sin against one’s self to put it on. None but narrow-minded, uncultivated persons would ever think of criticising one for not doing so. Of course one would naturally feel like dressing in as subdued colors as possible, if not in assuming half mourning (black and white, lavendar, drab, etc.) if not deep black or crÊpe.

When mourning is worn by a wife for a husband, it is worn from one to two years, at least.

The question of wearing mourning for one’s betrothed must be decided by one’s self, for it is purely a personal question that the laws of etiquette do not govern.

When crÊpe is laid aside, black-bordered paper and black-bordered cards are no longer proper. While wearing all black on the street, after crÊpe is laid aside, one may wear, with propriety, all white in the house.

While in deep mourning one does not go into society. All that mourning etiquette demands is that one acknowledge her calls with her visiting cards, which should be sent in return for a call within two weeks after it is made, and should go by hand rather than by mail.

One sends invitations to one’s friends who are in mourning, to show that they are not forgotten.