DRESS.

In appropriateness our people have something to learn, as has the whole world, for that matter. Necklaces and jewels in the morning are monstrous, no matter what the fashion of the moment may be, and there will come a time when every one will look upon them with horror, as every one, indeed, used to do.

The day is past when latitude or great variety in dress is considered original. Clothes, if they are startling at all, must be startling in a degree to be borne. A train cannot be worn where only a short skirt is in order, nor can an abbreviated drapery go where full dress is required. A garden party, for instance, or an out-of-door tea at a private house demands a muslin, a silk, or, at any rate, an elaborate toilet, while at a golf club, such dress is absurd, except for the elderly or non-players. In winter, frills and furbelows, if they are worn at all, are worn at large teas, the plain tailor-made suit having gone out for such purposes. However, it is difficult to follow the vagaries of fashion in these regards.

For morning wear, no dress can be too simple. Luncheons are growing more and more informal. When distances are great, however, and one dresses for calls in the part of town where the luncheon is, afterward, more elaborateness of dress is allowed.

The best advice to all girls upon the subject must be, not to be overdressed, nor yet to be careless in the matter. They should attire themselves according to their circumstances, and should, above all things, avoid all extremes of fashion, as well as all eccentricities of style.

Only quiet colors should be worn either to church or on the street, and wherever girls go they should endeavor to be unconscious of their personal appearance.

The woman who is overdressed at an afternoon reception is much more uncomfortable than she who is gowned with the simplicity of a Quaker. A well fitting wool gown, a becoming bonnet, a fresh pair of gloves, and one is suitably dressed as a caller.

A girl of fourteen should not wear her hair done up, and her gown should come just below her ankles.

It is not in good taste for a young girl to wear diamond rings; if she is fortunate enough to possess them, let her keep them carefully until she is older, and then she may wear them with perfect propriety.

It is in very bad taste to wear a dressing-sacque when breakfasting in a public dining-room of a hotel. Such an undress costume is only permissible in one’s own room.

A frock coat is, under no circumstances, a correct garment for a man to wear at an evening dance, neither is a Tuxedo or dinner coat. The proper dress is a full dress suit, with white vest and white string tie. Possibly a dinner coat might be allowable at a very small and very informal dance, but a frock coat never.

A man should wear a white tie with a dress suit at any large formal entertainment, such as a ball, the opera, a wedding reception, a large dinner party, etc., and on all occasions where he wears a white waistcoat. He should wear a black tie at the theater, at a small dinner, in calling, and at home with his dinner coat.

Evening dress may be as gay as one chooses to make it, though extremes are not desirable.

Dresses made a suitable length for walking are much more appropriate for the street than those that are so long that their wearers become street cleaners.

Neatness in a lady’s dress is one of the first requisites.

To dress well requires good taste, good sense, and refinement.

The most appropriate and becoming dress is that which so harmonizes with the figure that the apparel is unobserved.

A hostess should be careful not to out-dress her guests.

When going out one should consider the sort of company she is likely to meet, and should dress accordingly.

The idea that “dress makes the man” is a very false one, but a man does make, or select, rather, his dress, and is judged somewhat in accordance with that selection.

At a five o’clock church wedding the groom, best man, and ushers all dress as nearly as possible alike. The proper costume or suit is a black frock coat, gray trousers, black or fancy vesting waist coat, white tie, glacÉ gloves, patent leather boots, and a tall hat.

GLOVES.

A young woman should of course wear gloves with a full evening dress to any kind of an evening entertainment.

On taking one’s seat at a dinner table or a card table one may remove one’s gloves, but not until then; and at the theater or opera, gloves should be worn throughout the performance and during the evening.

A man wears light or white kid gloves to the opera, dances, a reception, or any other formal evening entertainment, except a dinner.

It is usual to remove one’s gloves when eating supper at an evening affair, unless merely a cup of bouillon or an ice may be chosen, and then there would be no impropriety in keeping on one’s gloves.

A man wears gloves when calling, and removes them just before or just after entering the parlor. Tan gloves may be worn at all hours of the day; white or pearl ones are proper in the evening, when calling, or at any place of amusement.

No matter how long one’s gloves are, they should be entirely taken off at supper, and be resumed again upon returning to the drawing-room or after using the finger bowls, and before arising from the feast.

To wear gloves while playing cards is an affectation of elegance.

STREET ETIQUETTE.

A man offers his right arm, if either, to a woman on the street (also in the house), that she may have her right hand free for holding her parasol or guiding her train. Both common sense and gallantry assign the woman’s place where it is for her greatest convenience, and that is, undeniably, on the right of the man.

The rule for giving the left arm was held good in those days when it was necessary for men to pass to the left, thus keeping the sword-arm free for self-protection or for the protection of the women, but now the passing is all to the right.

In walking with a woman a man chooses the outer side without any regard as to its being either the right or the left. In walking with two women he chooses the outer side also, and never walks between them.

A man walking with a woman returns a bow made to her, lifting his hat, although the one bowing is a stranger to him.

Ladies do not talk or call across the street.

Men should not smoke when driving or walking with women, nor on promenades much frequented, where they cannot remove the cigar from the mouth whenever meeting a woman.

One should never stare at another.

A man when meeting a woman who is walking and with whom he wishes to converse, does not allow her to stand while talking, but turns and walks with her.

A man cannot refuse to return the bow of any respectable woman. If he does not wish to recognize her he must avoid her.

It is much less rude for women to return a recognition coldly, and upon the next occasion to turn away or to avoid a meeting, than to give a “cut direct.”

A man precedes a woman in passing through a crowd; but women precede men under ordinary circumstances.

It is not proper for a young girl to walk alone with a young man after dark, unless she is engaged to him or he is a near relative of hers. A young woman should meet a young man with whom she has only a slight acquaintance under her father’s or a proper guardian’s roof. When he has become well acquainted with her and her family or friends, she may take occasional walks with him alone in the afternoon, but never in the evening.

When two women meet in a door-way, the younger gives precedence to the elder.

A man does not first offer to shake hands with a woman unless he is very well acquainted with her.

When it becomes necessary for one to address a man or woman whose name one does not know, it should be as “Sir” or “Madam.”

It is very bad taste for young women to eat candy during a theatrical performance, or, indeed, in any public place.

TRAVELING.

One can travel all over the United States alone, and if she conducts herself quietly, and as a lady should, she will receive all due respect. At the same time it is perhaps a little wiser to have a friend with one, or even, if that is not possible, to be put in the care of some one who is making the same journey.

When a young woman is traveling alone and is obliged to stay at a hotel, she is shown to a reception room and sends for a clerk to come to her. After the business arrangements are made, she either gives him a card or tells him her name, and he registers for her. There is no reason why she should go into a public room or register herself.

It is not customary, unless one is without luggage, to pay in advance at a hotel.

Fees are usually given on leaving the steamer to the steward or stewardess, deck steward, head waiter, waiter of the particular table at which one has taken his meals, and any other servants who have made themselves useful to him during the voyage. The amount of the fees depends on the amount of the service that has been required, varying from $1 to $5 for each. Living in lodgings abroad is much cheaper than living in hotels, and in most of the large cities such accommodations may be had at reasonable rates, and are very comfortable. The prices for lodging vary according to location, etc. A steamer trunk should suffice for a traveler who makes a short trip abroad and intends to spend all his time traveling and sight-seeing. Money for a short trip can be carried on the person, in a belt, or a pocket hung about the neck. For a trip of some length a letter of credit is more convenient, and can be obtained from any banking-house having foreign connections. In some countries traveling in the second-class carriages is very comfortable; in others it is not. In Italy a traveler can be comfortable only by traveling first-class; in France second-class is not bad; and in Germany and Great Britain it is perfectly comfortable, and preferable to first-class in many respects.

A rush and scramble at a railway ticket office is only carried on by ill-bred people, or by those who appear so at the time.

If a woman offers to seat herself beside a man, he should rise at once and give her the choice of seats.

No real gentlemen would be unmindful of the comfort and convenience of women, while traveling, from a selfish motive.

In the cars one has no right to keep a window open, if the current of air thus produced annoys another.

A woman should always be careful to thank a person for any little attention he may bestow upon her while traveling.

BICYCLING.

As to rules of politeness for bicyclers, one who is a true lady will show herself to be one as surely when riding a wheel as at any other time, not only by her costume, which will be unobtrusive in color, cut, and adjustment, but by her manner, which will be even more quiet and self-possessed than usual, as she well knows that by mounting a wheel she makes herself more or less conspicuous. It goes without saying that she will not ride fast enough to attract undue attention; that she will not chew gum; and that she will not allow advances from strangers, who may, like herself, be on a wheel, and, to all appearances, may be gentlemen. Neither will she ride off alone after dark, nor take long rides in the evening attended only by an escort. In the daytime, when out only with a man friend, she will avoid stopping to rest under the trees and in out of the way places. Too much care cannot be taken, especially by young girls, as to appearances. Their very innocence and ignorance lays them open to criticism.

TELEPHONING.

For the benefit of those who but seldom make use of the telephone, and consequently feel more or less ill at ease when attempting to use one, and also for those who, from ignorance of the first laws of politeness, or who, from thoughtlessness, ignore them, a few hints upon the subject may not come amiss. It is after having called up “Central,” and been given the number requested, that one often stands in need of no small amount of tact and good breeding, as well as of some idea of the best method of procedure. When there are several different persons using the same line, two or three of them may mistake the call for theirs, and all rush to the telephone at once. If at all stupid, or lacking in politeness, they will make it quite unpleasant for each other. The one entitled to speak should politely inquire for the one for whom she has called at the telephone, also giving her own name as the one delivering the message. If this does not suffice to enlighten those who sometimes keep calling “hello,” “hello,” without waiting to learn if they are the ones desired, the one talking should again announce herself, and the name of the one to whom she wishes to speak. Then, occasionally, even while in the midst of a conversation, some one will break in with a “Hello!” “Who is it?” “What do you want?” etc., which is quite distracting. If one can gain a hearing in no other way, it is well to say: “Excuse me, I hold the line.” If this does not bring order out of chaos, one should ring off and call again.

One should be careful not to call up friends at inconvenient hours, and when one is notified by a servant, or otherwise, that someone, the name being given, is at the telephone wishing to speak with her, she should certainly be as expeditious as possible in replying; for, by holding the wire, she is inconveniencing others, as well as the one who is waiting for her. No lady needs to be warned against speaking discourteously under any circumstances to the telephone assistants at the central office. It is in these little things that one shows herself to be well-bred or not.

None, of course, but the most informal of invitations can be delivered by telephone.

Servants should be taught always to answer the telephone politely and intelligently. When answering, a servant should say whose residence it is, if asked, not by giving the family name, as “Smith,” but as “Mr. Smith,” and then, if asked who is at the instrument, she should reply, “Mrs. Smith’s cook” or “maid.”

One’s individual manners, and ordinary polite or impolite forms of address, are very noticeable when accentuated by the telephone.