  THE other day we had excitement here; The news-stand caught afire, and I thought I’d be heroic Johnny-on-the-spot; I grabbed the operator, yellin’: “Dear, I’m here to save your life, so never fear.” But just about that time I felt a swat, And there was lots of things that I fergot While Morton dragged me with him by the ear. They’d doused the blaze before it got a start, And I’d fergot our fire-drill, you see, That’s what made Morton come and jump on me— He nearly tore my head and ear apart— That Alexander’s too dumnation smart. They’re all a-kiddin’ me fer what I done, And she looks on and seems to think it’s fun Confound it! that’s What nearly breaks my heart.
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