| CHAPTER I. |
| PAGE |
| Family Pictures, with select Views of the Estate, fenced with distant Prospects | 1 |
| CHAP. II. |
"No man can tether time or tide,
The hour approaches Tam maun ride." |
| And he takes one side step and two front ones on the road to glory | 11 |
| CHAP. III. |
| An old one takes to his heels, leaving a young one in arms.—The dessert does not always follow the last coarse of—a goose.—Goes to the war, and ends in love | 30 |
| CHAP. IV. |
| Shewing how generals may descend upon particulars with a cat-o'-nine tails. Some extra Tales added, Historical, Comical, and Warlike all | 44 |
| CHAP. V. |
| The paying of a French compliment, which will be repaid in a future chapter. A fierce attack upon hairs. A niece compliment, and lessons gratis to untaught sword-bearers | 79 |
| CHAP. VI. |
| Reaping a Horse with a halter. Reaping golden Opinions out of a Dung-Hill, and reaping a good Story or two out of the next Room. A Dog-Hunt and Sheep's Heads prepared at the Expense of a Dollar each, and a Scotchman's Nose | 94 |
| CHAP. VII. |
"Blood and destruction shall be so in use,
And dreadful objects so familiar,
That mothers shall but smile when they behold
Their infants quartered with the hands of war." | 130 |
| CHAP. VII. |
| The persecution of the guardian of two angels. A CaÇadore and his mounted followers. A chief of hussars in his trousers. A chief of rifles in his glory, and a sub of ditto with two screws in the neck | 155 |
| CHAP. VIII. |
| National Characters. Adventures of a pair of leather Breeches. Ditto of a pound of Beef. Shewing what the French General did not do, and a Prayer which he did not pray; with a few random Shots. | 176 |
| CHAP. IX. |
| A bishop's gathering.—Volunteers for a soldier's love, with a portrait of the lover.—Burning a bivouac. Old invented thrashing machines and baking concerns.—A flying Padre taking a shot flying | 219 |
| CHAP. X. |
| Shewing how a volunteer may not be what Doctor Johnson made him.—A mayor's nest.—Cupping.—The Author's reasons for punishing the world with a book.—And some volunteers of the right sort | 236 |
| CHAP. XI. |
| Very short, with a few anecdotes still shorter; but the principal actors thought the scene long enough | 265 |
| CHAP. XII. |
| Shewing rough visitors receiving a rough reception. Some living and moving specimens thereof. Tailors not such fractions of humanity as is generally believed. Gentle visitors receiving a gentle reception, which ends by shewing that two shakes joined together sound more melodiously on the heart-strings than two hands which shake of their own accord | 277 |
| CHAP. XIII. |
| Specimens of target-practice, in which markers may become marked men.—A grave anecdote, shewing "how some men have honours thrust upon them." A line drawn between man and beast.—Lines drawn between regiments, and shewing how credit may not be gained by losing what they are made of.—Aristocratic.—Dedicatic.—Dissertation on advanced guards, and desertion of knapsacks, shewing that "the greater haste the worse speed" | 299 |
