Walter K. Kelly

Charity begins at home.

This is literally true in the most exalted sense. The best of men are those

It is only in irony, or by an odious abuse of its meaning, that the proverb is ever used as an apology for that sort of charity which not only begins at home, but ends there likewise. The egotist holds that "Self is the first object of charity" (Latin).[398] "Every one has his hands turned towards himself" (Polish).

The priest christens his own child first.

Every man draws the water to his own mill.

"Every cow licks her own calf." "Every old woman blows under her own kettle" (both Servian). "Every one rakes the embers to his own cake" (Arab).

Every one for himself, and God for us all.

Let every tub stand on its own bottom.

Let every sheep hang by its own shank.

Let every herring hang by its own gills.

Ilka man for his ain hand, as John Jelly fought.—Scotch.

James Kelly gives this explanation of the last proverb: "As two men were fighting, John Jelly, going by, made up fiercely to them. Each of them asked him which he was for: he answered for his own hand, and beat them both." Sir Walter Scott puts aside John Jelly's claims to the authorship of this saying, and assigns it to Harry Smith in the following passage of "The Fair Maid of Perth." After the fight between the clans at the North Inch, Black Douglas says to the smith,—

"'If thou wilt follow me, good fellow, I will change thy leathern apron for a knight's girdle, thy burgage tenement for an hundred-pound-land to maintain thy rank withal.'

"'I thank you humbly, my lord,' said the smith dejectedly, 'but I have shed blood enough already; and Heaven has punished me by foiling the only purpose for which I entered the contest.'

"'How, friend?' said Douglas. 'Didst thou not fight for the Clan Chattan, and have they not gained a glorious conquest?'

"'I fought for my own hand,' said the smith indifferently; and the expression is still proverbial in Scotland—meaning, 'I did such a thing for my own pleasure, not for your profit.'"

Let every man skin his own skunk.—American.

The skunk stinks ten thousand times worse than a polecat. "Let every one carry his own sack to the mill" (German).[399] "Let every fox take care of his own tail" (Italian).[400]

Self do, self have.

Analogous to this manly proverb, as it seems to me, is that Dutch one, "Self's the man."[401] which Dean Trench has stigmatised as merely selfish.

The tod [fox] ne'er sped better than when he went his ain errand.—Scotch.

The miller ne'er got better moulter [toll] than he took wi' his ain hands.—Scotch.

If you would have your business done, go; if not, send.

If you would have a thing well done, do it yourself.

Ilka man's man had a man, and that made the Treve fa'.—Scotch.

The Treve was a strong castle built by Black Douglas. The governor left the care of it to a deputy, and he to an under-deputy, through whose negligence the castle was taken and burned. "The master bids the man, and the man bids the cat, and the cat bids its tail" (Portuguese).[402] General Sir Charles Napier, speaking of what happened during his temporary absence from the government of Corfu, says, "How entirely all things depend on the mode of executing them, and how ridiculous mere theories are! My successor thought, as half the world always thinks, that a man in command has only to order, and obedience will follow. Hence they are baffled, not from want of talent, but from inactivity, vainly thinking that while they spare themselves every one under them will work like horses."

Trust not to another for what you can do yourself.

"Let him that has a mouth not say to another, Blow" (Spanish).[403]

The master's eye will do more work than both his hands.

"If you have money to throw away, set on workmen and don't stand by" (Italian);[404] for

When the cat's away the mice will play.

The eye of the master fattens the steed.

The master's eye puts mate on the horse's bones.—Ulster.

"The answers of Perses and Libys are worth observing," says Aristotle. "The former being asked what was the best thing to make a horse fat, answered, 'The master's eye;' the other being asked what was the best manure, answered, 'The master's footsteps.'" The Spaniards have naturalised this last saying among them.[405] Aulus Gellius tells a story of a man who, being asked why he was so fat, and the horse he rode was so lean, replied, "Because I feed myself, and my servant feeds my horse."

He that owns the cow goes nearest her tail.—Scotch.

Let him that owns the cow take her by the tail.

In some districts formerly the cattle used to suffer greatly from want of food in winter and the early months of spring, before the grass had begun to grow. Sometimes a cow would become so weak from inanition as to be unable to rise if she once lay down. In that case it was necessary to lift her up by means of ropes passed under her, and, above all, by pulling at her tail. This part of the job being the most important, was naturally undertaken by the owner of the animal.

A man is a lion in his own cause.

No man cries stinking fish.

On the contrary, every man tries to set off his wares to the best advantage, to make the most of his own case, &c. "Every one says, 'I have right on my side'" (French).[406] Æsop's currier maintained that for fortifying a town there was "nothing like leather." "Every potter praises his pot, and all the more if it is cracked" (Spanish).[407] "'Tis a mad priest who blasphemes his relics" (Italian).[408] "Ask the host if he has good wine" (Italian).[409] One canny Scot compliments another with the remark,—

Ye'll no sell your hens on a rainy day;

for then the drenched feathers, sticking close to the skin, give the poor things a lean and miserable appearance.

It is an ill bird that fouls its own nest.

He was scant o' news that tauld his feyther was hangit.—Scotch.

They're scarce of news that speak ill of their mother.—Ulster.

Why wantonly proclaim one's own disgrace, or expose the faults or weaknesses of one's kindred or people? "If you have lost your nose put your hand before the place" (Italian).[410] Napoleon I. used to say, "People should wash their foul linen in private." It is a necessary process, but there is no need to obtrude it on public notice. English writers often quote this maxim of the great emperor, but always mistranslate it. Il faut laver son linge sale en famille is one of those idiomatic phrases which cannot be perfectly rendered in another tongue. Our version of it comes near to its meaning, which is quite lost in that which is commonly given, "People should wash their foul linen at home." The point of the proverb lies in the privacy it enjoins, and this might equally be secured whether the linen was washed at home or sent away to the laundress's. En famille and at home are not mutually equivalent; the former means more than the latter. We may say of a man who entertains a large dinner party in his own house, that he dines at home, but not that he dines en famille.

No one knows where the shoe pinches so well as he that wears it.

I wot weel where my ain shoe binds me.—Scotch.

Erskine used to say that when the hour came that all secrets should be revealed we should know the reason why—shoes are always too tight. The authorship of this proverb is commonly ascribed to Æmilius Paulus; but the story told by Plutarch leaves it doubtful whether Æmilius used a known illustration or invented one. The relations of his wife remonstrated with him on his determination to repudiate her, she being an honourable matron, against whom no fault could be alleged. Æmilius admitted the lady's worth; but, pointing to one of his shoes, he asked the remonstrants what they thought of it. They thought it a handsome, well-fitting shoe. "But none of you," he rejoined, "can tell where it pinches me."

The heart knoweth its own bitterness.—Solomon.

"To every one his own cross seems heaviest" (Italian);[411] but "The burden is light on the shoulders of another" (Russian); and "One does not feel three hundred blows on another's back" (Servian). "Another's care hangs by a hair" (Spanish).[412] "Another's woe is a dream" (French).[413] Rochefoucauld has had the credit of saying, "We all have fortitude enough to endure the woes of others;" but it is plain from this and other examples that he was not the sole author of "Rochefoucauld's Maxims."

"The case is altered," quoth Plowden.

Edmund Plowden, an eminent lawyer in Queen Elizabeth's time, was asked by a neighbour what remedy there was in law against the owner of some hogs that had trespassed on the inquirer's ground. Plowden answered he might have very good remedy. "Marry, then," said the other, "the hogs are your own." "Nay, then, neighbour, the case is altered," quoth Plowden. Others, says Ray, with more probability make this the original of the proverb:—"Plowden being a Roman Catholic, some neighbours of his who bare him no good-will, intending to entrap him and bring him under the lash of the law, had taken care to dress up an altar in a certain place, and provided a layman in a priest's habit, who should say mass there at such a time. And, withal, notice thereof was given privately to Mr. Plowden, who thereupon went and was present at the mass. For this he was presently accused and indicted. He at first stands upon his defence, and would not acknowledge the thing. Witnesses are produced, and among the rest one who deposed that he himself performed the mass, and saw Mr. Plowden there. Saith Plowden to him, 'Art thou a priest, then?' The fellow replied, 'No.' 'Why, then, gentlemen,' quoth he, 'the case is altered: no priest, no mass,' which came to be a proverb, and continues still in Shropshire with this addition—'The case is altered,' quoth Plowden: 'no priest, no mass.'"

That's Hackerton's cow.

This is a proverb of the Scotch, and they tell a story about it similar to the first of the two above related of Plowden. Hackerton was a lawyer, whose cow had gored a neighbour's ox. The man told him the reverse. "Why, then," said Hackerton, "your ox must go for my heifer—the law provides that." "No," said the man, "your cow killed my ox." "The case alters there," said Hackerton. Many a one exclaims in secret with the Spaniard, "Justice, but not brought home to myself!"[414] "Nobody likes that" (Italian).[415]

Close sits my shirt, but closer my skin.

That is, I love my friends well, but myself better; or, my body is dearer to me than my goods.

Near is my petticoat, but nearer is my smock.

Some friends are nearer to me than others. There are many proverbs in various languages similar to the last two in meaning and in form, but with different terms of comparison. They are all modelled upon the Latin adage, "The tunic is nearer than the frock."[416]