FAULTS. EXCUSES. UNEASY CONSCIOUSNESS.

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Lifeless, faultless.

It is a good horse that never stumbles.

To which some add, "And a good wife that never grumbles." None are immaculate. "Are there not spots on the very sun?" (French.)[444] A member of the parliament of Toulouse, apologising to the king or his minister for the judicial murder of Calas perpetrated by that body, quoted the proverb, "Il n'y a si bon cheval qui ne bronche" ("It is a good horse," &c.). He was answered, "Passe pour un cheval, mais toute l'Écurie!" ("A horse, granted; but the whole stable!")

He that shoots always right forfeits his arrow.Welsh.

But in no instance was the forfeit ever exacted, for the best archer will sometimes miss the mark, just as "The best driver will sometimes upset" (French).[445] "A good fisherman may let an eel slip from him" (French);[446] and "A good swimmer is not safe from all chance of drowning" (French).[447] "The priest errs at the altar" (Italian).[448]

They ne'er beuk [baked] a gude cake but may bake an ill.Scotch.

He rode sicker [sure] that ne'er fell.Scotch.

It is a sound head that has not a soft piece in it.

Every rose has its prickles.

Every bean has its black.

Every path has its puddle.

There never was a good town but had a mire at one end of it.

"He who wants a mule without fault may go afoot" (Spanish).[449]

A' things wytes [blames] that no weel fares.Scotch.

When a man fails in what he undertakes he will be sure to lay the blame on anything or anybody rather than on himself. "He that does amiss never lacks excuses" (Italian).[450] "He is a bad shot who cannot find an excuse" (German).[451] "The archer that shoots ill has a lie ready" (Spanish).[452] That is rather a strong expression: the Italians, with a more refined appreciation of the eloquence displayed by missing marksmen, declare that "A fine shot never killed a bird."[453]

A bad workman always complains of his tools.

A bad excuse is better than none.

This, of course, is ironical. The Italians hold that "Any excuse is good provided it avails" (Italian);[454] and, "Any excuse will serve when one has not a mind to do a thing."[455] We may easily guess what the Spaniards mean by "Friday pretexts for not fasting."[456]

"Who can help sickness?" quoth the drunken wife, when she lay in the gutter.

Guilt is jealous.

A guilty conscience needs no accuser.

Touch a galled horse, and he'll wince.

A galled horse will not endure the comb.

"Let the galled jade wince, our withers are unwrung," cries Hamlet, mockingly, as he reads the effect of the play in the fratricide's countenance. "He that is in fault is [steeped] in suspicion" (Italian),[457] and his uneasy conscience betrays itself at every casual touch. He is like "One who has a straw tail," and "is always afraid of its catching fire" (Italian).[458]

He that has a muckle [big] nose thinks ilka ane is speaking o't.Scotch.

"Hair is not to be mentioned in a bald man's house" (Livonian). "Never speak of a rope in the house of one who was hanged" (Italian);[459] or, as the Hebrew form of the precept runs, "He that hath had one of his family hanged may not say to his neighbour, 'Hang up this fish.'" Formerly the French used to say, "It is not right to speak of a rope in presence of one who has been hanged;"[460] and they could say this without apparent absurdity, because it was customary to pardon a culprit if the rope broke after he had been tied up to the gallows, and therefore it was not an uncommon thing to meet with living men who had known what it was to dance upon nothing. The memory of this usage is preserved in a proverbial expression—"The hope of the man that is hanging, that the rope may break"[461]—to signify an exceedingly faint hope. But so much was this indulgence abused, that it was abolished by all the parliaments, that of Bordeaux setting the example in 1524 by an edict directing that the sentence should always be, "Hanged until death ensue."

If the cap fits you, wear it.

"Let him that feels itchy, scratch" (French).[462] "Let him wipe his nose that feels the need of it" (French).[463]

Nothing was ever ill said that was not ill taken.

"He who takes [offence] makes [the offence]" (Latin).[464] "What do you say 'Hem!' for when I pass?" cries an angry Briton to a Frenchman. "Monsieur Godden," replies the latter, "what for pass you when me say 'Hem?'"

Ye're busy to clear yourself when naebody files you.Scotch.

That is, you defend yourself when nobody accuses you; and that looks very suspicious. "He that excuses himself accuses himself" (French).[465]

[444] Le soleil lui-mÊme, n'a-t-il pas des taches?

[445] Il n'est si bon charretier qui ne verse.

[446] À bon pÊcheur Échappe anguille.

[447] Bon nageur de n'Être noyÉ n'est pas sÛre.

[448] Erra il prete all' altare.

[449] Quien quisiere mula sin tacha, andese Á pie.

[450] A chi fa male mai mancano scuse.

[451] Ein schlechter SchÜz der keine Ausrede findet.

[452] Vallestero que mal tira, presto tiene la mentira.

[453] Bel colpo non ammazzÒ mai uccello.

[454] Ogni scusa È buona, pur che vaglia.

[455] Ogni scusa È buona, quando non si vuol far alcuna cosa.

[456] Achaques al viernes por no le ayunar.

[457] Chi È in difetto, È in sospetto.

[458] Chi ha coda di paglia ha sempre paura che gli pigli fuoco.

[459] Non recordar il capestro in casa dell' impiccato.

[460] Il ne faut pas parler de corde devant un pendu.

[461] L'espoir du pendu, que la corde casse.

[462] Qui se sent galeux, se gratte.

[463] Qui se sent morveux, se mouche.

[464] Qui capit, ille facit.

[465] Qui s'excuse, s'accuse.


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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