SCENE I.

ENTER LORENZO SEN., PETO, MEETING MUSCO.

PETO. Was your man a soldier, sir?

LOR. SE. Ay, a knave, I took him up begging upon the way,
This morning as I was coming to the city.
Oh! here he is; come on, you make fair speed:
Why, where in God's name have you been so long?

MUS. Marry, (God's my comfort) where I thought I should
have had little comfort of your worship's service.

LOR. SE. How so?

MUS. O God, sir! your coming to the city, and your
entertainment of men, and your sending me to watch;
indeed, all the circumstances are as open to your son as
to yourself.

LOR. SE. How should that be? Unless that villain Musco
Have told him of the letter, and discovered
All that I strictly charged him to conceal? 'tis so.

MUS. I'faith, you have hit it: 'tis so indeed.

LOR. SE. But how should he know thee to be my man?

MUS. Nay, sir, I cannot tell; unless it were by the
black art? is not your son a scholar, sir?

LOR. SE. Yes; but I hope his soul is not allied
To such a devilish practice: if it were,
I had just cause to weep my part in him.
And curse the time of his creation.
But where didst thou find them, Portensio?

MUS. Nay, sir, rather you should ask where they found me?
for I'll be sworn I was going along in the street,
thinking nothing, when (of a sudden) one calls, "Signior
Lorenzo's man": another, he cries "soldier": and thus half
a dozen of them, till they had got me within doors, where
I no sooner came, but out flies their rapiers and all bent
against my breast, they swore some two or three hundred
oaths, and all to tell me I was but a dead man, if I did
not confess where you were, and how I was employed, and
about what; which, when they could not get out of me, (as
God's my judge, they should have kill'd me first,) they
lock'd me up into a room in the top of a house, where, by
great miracle, (having a light heart) I slid down by a
bottom of packthread into the street, and so scaped: but,
master, thus much I can assure you, for I heard it while I
was lock'd up: there were a great many merchants and rich
citizens' wives with them at a banquet, and your son,
Signior Lorenzo, has 'pointed one of them to meet anon at
one Cob's house, a water-bearer's, that dwells by the wall:
now there you shall be sure to take him: for fail he will not.

LOR. SE. Nor will I fail to break this match, I doubt not;
Well, go thou along with master Doctor's man,
And stay there for me; at one Cob's house, say'st thou?

[EXIT.]

MUS. Ay, sir, there you shall have him: when can you tell?
Much wench, or much son: 'sblood, when he has stay'd there
three or four hours, travelling with the expectation of
somewhat; and at the length be delivered of nothing: oh,
the sport that I should then take to look on him if I durst;
but now I mean to appear no more afore him in this shape:
I have another trick to act yet; oh, that I were so happy
as to light upon an ounce now of this Doctor's clerk:
God save you, sir.

PETO. I thank you, good sir.

MUS. I have made you stay somewhat long, sir.

PETO. Not a whit, sir, I pray you what, sir, do you mean?
you have been lately in the wars, sir, it seems.

MUS. Ay, marry have I, sir.

PETO. Troth, sir, I would be glad to bestow a bottle of
wine on you, if it please you to accept it.

MUS. O Lord, sir.

PETO. But to hear the manner of your services, and your
devices in the wars, they say they be very strange, and
not like those a man reads in the Roman histories.

MUS. O God, no, sir, why, at any time when it please you,
I shall be ready to discourse to you what I know: and more
too somewhat.

PETO. No better time than now, sir, we'll go to the
Mermaid: there we shall have a cup of neat wine,
I pray you, sir, let me request you.

MUS. I'll follow you, sir, he is mine own, i'faith.

[EXEUNT.]

ENTER BOBADILLA, LORENZO JUN., MATHEO, STEPHANO.

MAT. Signior, did you ever see the like clown of him where
we were to-day: Signior Prospero's brother?
I think the whole earth cannot shew his like, by Jesu.

LOR. JU. We were now speaking of him, Signior Bobadillo
tells me he is fallen foul of you too.

MAT. Oh ay, sir, he threatened me with the bastinado.

BOB. Ay, but I think I taught you a trick this morning for
that. You shall kill him without all question, if you be
so minded.

MAT. Indeed, it is a most excellent trick.

BOB. Oh, you do not give spirit enough to your motion; you
are too dull, too tardy: oh, it must be done like lightning,
hay!

MAT. Oh, rare.

BOB. Tut, 'tis nothing an't be not done in a —

LOR. JU. Signior, did you never play with any of our
masters here?

MAT. Oh, good sir.

BOB. Nay, for a more instance of their preposterous humour,
there came three or four of them to me, at a gentleman's house,
where it was my chance to be resident at that time, to intreat
my presence at their schools, and withal so much importuned me,
that (I protest to you as I am a gentleman) I was ashamed of
their rude demeanour out of all measure: well, I told them
that to come to a public school they should pardon me, it was
opposite to my humour, but if so they would attend me at my
lodging, I protested to do them what right or favour I could,
as I was a gentleman, etc.

LOR. JU. So sir, then you tried their skill.

BOB. Alas, soon tried: you shall hear, sir, within two
or three days after they came, and by Jesu, good Signior,
believe me, I graced them exceedingly, shewed them some
two or three tricks of prevention hath got them since
admirable credit, they cannot deny this; and yet now
they hate me, and why? because I am excellent, and for
no other reason on the earth.

LOR. JU. This is strange and vile as ever I heard.

BOB. I will tell you, sir, upon my first coming to the city,
they assaulted me some three, four, five, six of them
together, as I have walk'd alone in divers places of the
city; as upon the Exchange, at my lodging, and at my
ordinary, where I have driven them afore me the whole length
of a street, in the open view of all our gallants, pitying
to hurt them, believe me; yet all this lenity will not
depress their spleen; they will be doing with the pismire,
raising a hill a man may spurn abroad with his foot at
pleasure: by my soul, I could have slain them all, but I
delight not in murder: I am loth to bear any other but a
bastinado for them, and yet I hold it good policy not to go
disarm'd, for though I be skilful, I may be suppressed with
multitudes.

LOR. JU. Ay, by Jesu, may you, sir, and (in my conceit) our
whole nation should sustain the loss by it, if it were so.

BOB. Alas, no: what's a peculiar man to a nation? not seen.

LOR. JU. Ay, but your skill, sir.

BOB. Indeed, that might be some loss, but who respects it?
I will tell you, Signior, (in private) I am a gentleman,
and live here obscure, and to myself; but were I known to
the Duke (observe me) I would undertake (upon my head and
life) for the public benefit of the state, not only to
spare the entire lives of his subjects in general, but to
save the one half, nay, three parts of his yearly charges,
in holding wars generally against all his enemies; and how
will I do it, think you?

LOR. JU. Nay, I know not, nor can I conceive.

BOB. Marry, thus, I would select nineteen more to myself,
throughout the land, gentlemen they should be of good spirit;
strong and able constitution, I would choose them by an
instinct, a trick that I have, and I would teach these
nineteen the special tricks, as your punto, your reverso,
your stoccato, your imbroccato, your passado, your montanto,
till they could all play very near or altogether as well as
myself. This done, say the enemy were forty thousand strong:
we twenty would come into the field the tenth of March, or
thereabouts, and would challenge twenty of the enemy; they
could not in their honour refuse the combat: well, we would
kill them: challenge twenty more, kill them; twenty more,
kill them; twenty more, kill them too; and thus would we kill
every man his twenty a day, that's twenty score; twenty<