1909
CONTENTS
DESERTED
HOMEWARD BOUND
SELF-HELP
SENTENCE DEFERRED
“MATRIMONIAL OPENINGS”
ODD MAN OUT
“THE TOLL-HOUSE”
PETER'S PENCE
THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY
PRIZE MONEY
DOUBLE DEALING
KEEPING UP APPEARANCES
ILLUSTRATIONS
He Seemed to Take a Fancy To Rupert from the Fust.
An Elderly Old Party Wot Would Keep Jabbing 'im in The Ribs With Her Umbrella.
“Back!” Ses Rupert in a Whisper, Pointing.
She Stood Blocking up the Doorway With Her 'ands on Her 'ips.
Taking One of the Vases from The Mantelpiece, he Dashed It To Pieces on the Fender.
“I Called About the Bill in The Window.”
“'I—i Thought I Smelled Something Cooking,' he Said.”
“'K-k-k-kch! K-kch!' he Said, Explosively.”
“''E Comes Along and Hits You over Your Tenderest Corn With a Oar.'”
“Mr. Cubbins Winked at 'im and Tapped 'is Nose.”
“Let Drive With All his Might in 'is Face. “
“'Wot on Earth's the Matter, Ginger?'”
“An Elderly Man With a Wooden Leg, Who Joined The Indignant Officer in the Pursuit.”
“He Was Administering First Aid to a Right Leg.”
“She Took up a Handful of Coal-dust And, Ordering Him To Stoop, Shampooed Him With Hearty Good-will.”
“Give This to the Skipper, Will You, My Lad?” Said The Sergeant.
“Miss Dowson, Subsiding in Her Chair, Went on With Her Book.”
“I Just Came in to Tell You a Joke.”
“He Edged his Chair a Little Nearer to Flora.”
“Mr. Foss Bade Them Good-night Suddenly.”
“She Muttered Some Strange Words and Bent Her Head Lower Over the Girl's Hand.”
“Friendship, he Said, Decidedly, is a Deloosion and A Snare.”
“When They Turned up They Found Emma and 'er Friend Waiting for Them.”
“He Put his Arm Round Mrs. Jennings's Waist and Made 'er Dance to a Piano-organ.”
“He Was Running Down the Road Without 'is Hat As Hard As He Could Run.”
“I'm a Poor Man, But I Wouldn't Spend the Night in That House for a Hundred Pounds.”
“They Saw the Gates of The House Before Them.”
“Barnes, Stood Peering at the Sleepers in Silence And Dropping Tallow over the Floor.”
“Into a Vast Bare Kitchen With Damp Walls and A Broken Floor.”
“All Three Stood Gazing at the Dead Man Below.”
“Put a Bishop in My Clothes, and You'd Ask 'im to 'ave A 'arf-pint As Soon As You Would Me.”
“Mr. Goodman Came in a Four-wheel Cab With A Big Bag and A Fat Umbrella.”
“'It Aint So 'orrid As I 'ad Fancied.' Ses Sam.”
“He Reached Acrost the Table and Shook 'ands With Peter.”
“After Some Years Spent in Long Voyages”
“Then and There Mr. Letts's Mind Was Made Up.
“A Disagreeable-looking Man Was Eying Them in Some Astonishment from the Doorway.”
“What's Mine is Mother's.”
“The Sign of the Cauliflower Was Stiff With Snow.”
“He's Won It!” he Ses, in a Choky Voice. “it's Number 1.”
“The Door Opened and Henery Walker Came Staggering In.”
“'Where's Henery Walker?' he Ses, in a Loud Voice.”
“Stood on the Spacious Common, Inhaling The Salt Smell Of The Sea Below.”
“An Elderly Boatman, Who, After Looking at Him Hard, Took His Pipe from his Mouth and Bade Him 'good-evening.'”
“She Piled Mr. Carter's Plate up So Generously That Her Father and Brother Had Ample Time at Their Disposal to Watch Him Eat.”
“A Gentleman of Middle Age Was Peeping Round the Door.”
“Superstitiousness is Right and Proper, to a Certain Extent.”
“Silas Was Very Perlite at Fust.”
“She Saw Silas Winch Standing at the Foot of The Bed.”
“With Tears in his Eyes 'e Emptied a Little Barrel O' Beer Down the Sink.”
“Other wimmen 'as to be satisfied looking at new 'ats.”
