CHAPTER III.

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STATE STOCKS—HISTORY OF THE MORRISON KENNEL CONTINUED—INTRODUCTION OF NEW CHARACTERS—THE U. S. BANK, &C.

BUBBLES.

Among the many schemes of finance that have disgraced our country, and been fruitful sources of peculation, deserving the severe censure of justice, and the ridicule of wit, there are none more prominent than the bubble of state stocks. Time was when that name had a signification of value; but a new era is now upon us, the end of which, “is not yet.” The character of our western population is one of hardy enterprise, and great intelligence in their own particular sphere; but by some strange fatuity they have overrated their credit, and in so doing, have overreached themselves. That confidence of a western man which induces him to believe that he can “whip his weight in wild cats,” is no vain boast, but the natural consequence of that hardihood, of vigor that comes of their spirit of enterprise; and it is not to be wondered at, that the thrift of their situation should inspire a similar confidence in other matters.

HOW WISE MEN HAVE BEEN DUPED.

But, until they can learn to take better care of their credit, and intrust the management of it to more skilful and experienced hands, they will never cease to be cheated and dishonored. The following detail by my venerable and facetious friend, of a negotiation for the sale of state bonds, would be true to life, if it were not too feebly described, for as I write only from recollection I find it impossible to do justice to his humor.

BUTTONING UP.

“Before,” said he, “I proceed to the story of the state bonds, I must first relate to you what changes took place in the Morrison.” As soon as the speculation detailed yesterday had ceased, and Mr. Friendly had fairly retired with his profits, the stock went down, down, down, and not a purchaser for a single share could be found at any price; and as soon as the whole class of small speculators perceived that they had been “stuck,” aware of the injury the little credit they possessed would sustain, if they were known to have met with a loss, they all shut their mouths, except, that each one pitied his neighbor; and strange as it may seem, not a man could be found in Wall-street, who confessed the ownership of a share; where three weeks before there were thousands. This is called “buttoning up,” and if any gentleman in a certain predicament was ever surprised by a bevy of ladies suddenly turning the corner, he will know something of the hurry felt, and the nonchalance assumed, on this occasion.

NICK’S TALENTS AND COURTESY.

Six months from the time when Nicholas made the loans before spoken of, he “found that the security was not worth a farthing.” If any one is surprised that he should have been so improvident of safety, they only need be told, that he is one of those men whose expansiveness of mind, and splendid talents were at home only in great things. He could grasp at millions, and sport with them as mere baubles; but the dull and dry detail of investigating trifles, was fit occupation only for meaner minds. And to the same splendid talents it was undoubtedly owing, that in passing into retirement, he was enabled to discover so much soundness and prosperity in the affairs of the U. S. Bank of Pennsylvania, when nobody else could, and that the stockholders of that institution, are so permanently fixed in an investment of a capital of 35 millions, that they will never get a dollar of it back again.

Nicholas, however, was a man of courtesy, and when on a visit to this city, condescended to call on the directors of the Morrison. The money borrowed by them, had been all expended; another instalment of interest was becoming due, and nothing provided to pay it with. He met them in the Bank parlor, with solemn faces, and like the Irishman’s owl, which he feigned to be a parrot, they spoke not, but were thinking very hard.

THE D——L NOT TO BE FEARED.

“Well gentlemen,” said he, “what is the matter?” Mr. Faintheart, always foremost to express discouragement, and always the last to aid in relief, immediately replied. Why Mr. B. the D——l is to pay, and we have no money. True, answered Nicholas, you owe me a good deal of money, but if that is all, it can no doubt be arranged.

Mr. Faintheart first blushed, then turned pale, rose from his seat, and his knees smote together, when he perceived that he had unluckily hit on the vulgar cognomen of Nicholas. Regarding the man with the highest veneration, and even with fear, and unable himself to comprehend, how so great a mind could exist, without more aid than falls to the lot of common mortals, he secretly believed the profane allusion to be a verity, and, in his fears, expecting a blow from the forked tail, that would annihilate him at once, he was fain to ensconce himself under the table. But perceiving that none of his comrades attempted to run away, and that Nicholas himself sat in “the armed chair, calm as a summer’s morning,” with a smile playing upon his countenance, benignant as benevolence herself, he was re-assured; the purple came to his nose again, and he stammered out, I beg pardon, I had no allusion to—to—you, sir.

“Sit down, Mr. Faintheart,” said Nicholas, “your wit amuses us.”

Mr. Faintheart sat down, but was unable sufficiently to master his disturbed, and mortified feelings, to utter another word.

EVERY MAN HAS HIS PRICE.

What further took place at this conference is not fully known, but it is generally understood that, by the advice and influence of Nicholas, it was then and there agreed, that, to revive the credit of the Morrison, it was best to have a new official organization, and to select for that purpose men of talent, shrewdness, property and credit. But as few such could be found who were willing to act, common scandal has affirmed, that resort was had to the principle, that “every man has his price,” and that sums as high as ten thousand dollars were paid, in more than one instance, to procure the requisite number, all of proper standing.

All this took place soon after the period we are speaking of, and if, by talent and shrewdness, is meant, the ability to obtain credit, when none is merited, and to know how to appropriate the avails to themselves, without incurring liability, with two or three honorable exceptions, the selection of officers was a judicious one. All these, however, were minor considerations, and when Nicholas saw his new friends installed, with a prospect of reviving the credit of the company, and not only recovering his debt, but obtaining a bolster also, to support the weary head of his great Pet, his ends were nearly answered. This was probably one of the encouragements which led to his famous letter of resignation; and, since the cotton speculation is now closed, and the commissions all realised, we must now leave him to enjoy his taste for literature, botany, and horticulture, on the banks of the Schuylkill.

FIGURES MAY BE MADE TO LIE.

A semi official statement of the affairs of the Morrison was now put forth. This also is a plan of modern invention, not called for of yore; and whenever it appears gratuitously, is always designed to support a false credit. Its success depends on such a classification, division, and subdivision of the items, that the figures will express the same things three or four times over. In this instance it was properly done, and accordingly, the stock and credit of the company were revived under its influence.

NEW CHARACTERS.

And now, said my friend, it is time I should make you acquainted with the gentlemen you saw this morning. The tall, spare, white haired gentleman, with a scooping form, a down-cast look, and a contriving countenance, is Mr. Bold Eno. You saw that he had an eye of fire; but it is only a spark struck from a heart of flint, and a conscience of steel. I have not much to say about him now, but he will figure by and by. The next is a gentleman of more noble presence, and less of the look of the d——l about him. His mouth is full of honied words, but if you believe them all, they will very likely prove “sweet to the taste but bitter in the belly.” His name is John-of-the-Field, which signifies that he is a great sportsman; but his sports are chiefly confined to shooting with the long gun. It has been said that he could shoot round a corner; but that is a slander upon the truth, and arose only from his dexterity, in always providing a corner, round which he can escape, whenever his favorite weapon throws wide of the mark. He is a lover of the arts, and his soul melts at the dulcet sounds of music. His politeness, and hospitality, can be measured only by his love of power; and his opinion of himself is, that to make him the “greatest and best” man alive, he needs only to have his own way.

A WESTERN FINANCIER.

The third gentleman, whose hat was a little slouched, and his coat not of the most modern cut, who measured as much space at one stride of his legs, as the other gentlemen measured at two, with his fist doubled in his glove, expressive of his determination, and his wrath, is Mr. Commissioner —— from the state of ——. In his early youth, he left the land of his fathers, the land of steady habits, where he had learned, (what every one learns there,) how to read and spell correctly, with the rudiments of Pike and Murray, and fearless and alone, treading the western wilderness in search of a more genial soil, he established himself, where now a flourishing city spreads out her next to queenly beauty. Of course he reapt golden fruits of his toil, and opinions of his sagacity; in short he became, not unworthily, a great man among them. The principal error of his mind, was, that being born in comparative poverty, and accustomed to matter of fact dealing, he regarded the stupendous bubbles of artificial credit and means, as all real, and the men who managed them, as all abounding in riches, and as honest as himself. He is now here, to see how far his improved knowledge of finance may enable him to correct his past errors of judgment.

DINING PRELIMINARY, &C.

Two or three years ago, this same gentleman came here, by the way of Philadelphia, being there recommended to the Morrison Kennel Company, and others, to negotiate the sale of two millions of dollars, in state bonds. On his arrival here, he made himself acquainted with all the characters here introduced, and was “dined” by each in turn, with a view to sound him as to his wishes and expectations.

The president of the company having been authorised to open preliminaries of negotiation with the commissioner, the board of directors was subsequently called together to hear the report; and, not to offend the dignity of any one, who may fancy he recognises his own character, I will abbreviate the names of those present, as follows, viz: The Prest. and Messrs. J. G. S. T. and W., directors; and when all had taken their seats, they proceeded to business, as follows:

DIRECTORS’S WIT AND CHAMPAGNE.

Prest. Gentlemen: in conformity with your request, I have attended to the duty imposed on me, and my report is—that in stubbornness, one Hoosier is more than a match for us all.

“Ha, ha, ha!” all around the board.

G. Well, in cunning how does he stand, Mr. President?

Prest. Simple as a doe.

T. Then he can’t escape, G., if we turn him over to you.

G. Leave off your jokes, T.; this is not a place for them. Mr. President, what says he to our proposal?

Prest. He likes it not; he wants more ready money than we possess—he won’t budge.

S. But, if we could get possession of the bonds, I think I could make a private advance.

T. (aside.) Yes, no doubt, and a private profit, too.

G. Does he object to our credit, Mr. President.

Prest. Not at all; he has the most perfect confidence; that was cared for at Philadelphia, before he came here.

J. Can’t we come over him with champagne?

PLANS, HARD NAMES, AND FLOORING.

T. If we had less sham here, I think it would be better.

J. But, it is our only chance; and, if we do not contrive to raise some active means soon, we shall never accomplish our designs.

T. And, if you are not quick about it, John-of-the-Field will outwit you all.

J. What says Mr. Bold Eno?

G. He is throwing cold water, and I suspect he is attacking our credit.

J. Tell the commissioner, then, that we will mortgage the Kennel to him.

G. But, it is mortgaged already.

S. No matter, tell him it is only for 700,000, and cost two millions and a half.

T. Yes, and you can tell what became of some of the money, eh?

S. Mr. T., you are impertinent; do you accuse me sir, at this board. Sir, you are a scoundrel.

Here Mr. T. brought round his right foot against the leg of the chair in which Mr. S., who sat next him, was balancing himself with offended dignity, and knocking it from under him, brought him to the floor, to the very sensible uneasiness of his crupper, for some time afterwards.

AVOID INDIVIDUAL LIABILITY.

Mr. S. was a man of courage, in words only; it therefore evaporated with what he had last spoken, and he dared not provoke his assailant any further.

Prest. Gentlemen, I must use my prerogative! order—gentlemen, order!

W. Gentlemen, this is not what I expected; I must retire.

T. Well, W., I’ll go with you; rogues must bear to be told the truth, without throwing back an insult, generally the best evidence of their guilt.

Messrs. W. and T. here retired, and the rest again took their seats.

Prest. Suppose, gentlemen, we send for Nicholas?

G. We are no longer dependant on him, and as it might eventuate in our individual liability, if we go forward in this thing, it is my opinion that it is the duty of the president to conduct the negotiation officially on behalf of the company, and I therefore move a vote of the board that he be directed accordingly.

Prest. Gentlemen, I have resigned one treasury department, sooner than do another man’s bidding, and shall decline the service; I like not this business much.

G. Suppose, then, gentlemen, that we resolve ourselves into a committee, and call the commissioner in to-morrow.

The proposal being agreed to, the board adjourned, and Mr. S. still suffering from the contusion of his lower spine, walked home with a gait much as he would have done, had he chanced to have made a rent in his nether integuments, on a windy day.

BREAKING UP—COLLOQUY.

As they went out, J. said, “Mr. G., look well that the commissioner has not another interview with Bold Eno.”

“Never fear,” answered G.; “I have provided employment for him.”

While these things were going on in the parlor of the Morrison, the commissioner sat in consultation with John-of-the-Field, and the following colloquy took place between them:

PALAVER.

John. Mr. Commissioner, your State is one of great resources, I think.

Com. Undoubtedly, sir; surpassing that of any other State in the Union; i. e. when they are fully developed.

John. And you are taking the right course for that purpose. The example of New-York, in internal improvements, has, by its success, given an impulse throughout the country. In point of locality, you far exceed us; but then, we have the capital here, which is our great advantage.

Com. Yes, sir, if we had the capital of New-York in the State of ——, to carry out our plans of public improvement, in twenty years from this, we should exceed her in population by a million.

John. Yes, Mr. Commissioner, and your soil is so fertile, that when they were completed, even the farmers of New-York would draw their supplies from you, through the lakes, the Erie canal, and the Erie railroad, which is now in progress, principally with that view.

Here John, perceiving a stare of surprise and doubt in the eye of the commissioner, added, “i. e. provided they could turn their lands to a better account, by the cultivation of products more congenial to the poverty of their soil.”

Com. The view taken of the subject by our legislature, is, that if we can borrow the capital now, to complete the works, the income from them will so increase, with the increase of products and population, that in twenty years they will pay the debt and interest, and leave a large revenue to the State ever afterwards.

FEELING HIS WAY.

John. I have always advised my friends to invest in the securities of the Western States, as being the safest they could make; and many of them are large capitalists, who frequently ask my advice in such matters. I think if I had the agency of all the Western States, in this market, I could save them a great deal of money in their negotiations. Their debts being only about forty millions, the management of them would relieve me from too much leisure, which I find rather irksome, since I retired from the active superintendance of a large institution here.

Com. Perhaps the best introduction to such an arrangement, would be, for you to take up the loan now offered.

John. Well, my investments, latterly, have been very large, which I would not like to disturb at present, but if it would accommodate you, I would take the matter of 300,000 dollars of the bonds, at par; but then, I should pay you 200,000 in the stock of the Long Island Railroad at par, and the balance in six months. This railroad is estimated to be the most promising stock in the country; and its friends are sanguine, that when completed, and in operation, the stock will be worth, at least, 250 per cent., and produce an interest of, at least, 20 per cent. per annum. The original capital was but 700,000, and with that capital, and the income of the portion already finished, say only about one-third the distance, the company has already expended one million and a half—i. e., including a small debt still outstanding. I would not part with the stock for any other purpose than to oblige you—being anxious to facilitate the interest of all the Western States.

Com. My object, sir, is ready funds; they are wanted for immediate disbursement, to about the amount you speak of; if that could be arranged, terms could be made for the balance.

JOHN OVERSHOOTS HIS MARK.

John. Well, Mr. Commissioner, if that is the object with you, I think I could arrange for 300,000, and give you Mississippi funds at par. The State would, of course, give me some additional security, and you would deposite the remainder of the 2,000,000 of the bonds with me for sale. My commission would be very reasonable.

Com. Why, sir, if the security of the whole State is not good, they have nothing else to offer. However, I will think of your offer of Mississippi funds. I have another call to make—so, good morning, sir.

As soon as the commissioner had left, John held this soliloquy with himself:

HIS SOLILOQUY THEREUPON.

“I am afraid I have overshot the mark. That asking security was a bad affair; but then, I am so in the habit of asking six or eight for one, hang me if I could resist it in this instance. The railroad stock, too: if he should inquire about it, ‘he’ll smoke me.’ Two hundred thousand dollars!—why, I’ve got but ten shares; but then, I could buy the rest at five dollars a share. A small debt they owe, indeed—ha, ha, ha. I have no doubt those they owe would be glad to make it small. A promising company!—yes, they promise every thing, and perform nothing. They will never divide one-twentieth of one per cent.; and then, the Mississippi funds, too—I wish I had said at a small discount, instead of par; and then I could have fixed it at one per cent., which certainly would have been small enough, for I can buy them at 30 off. Confound my avarice—I’ve made a miss-fire. The fellow is tame as a spaniel—but then, he’s no fool; how he stared, when I puffed his State; he didn’t believe me. If he talks about this, I’m ruined; but then, I’ll deny it all, when he’s gone.”

HIS GAME UP.

When the commissioner went out, he proceeded to the office of Mr. Bottomly, where, upon inquiry, he learned the truth, viz: that Mississippi funds were at 30 per cent. discount, and that Long Island Railroad was worth 5 dollars a share, instead of 100. Of course, all further negotiation with John ceased, and that gentleman was left to wait the arrival of a commissioner from some state still farther west, with whom his persuasive flattery, tempered by experience in its use, would be more effectual. And here I leave him, to the disposal of him, whom the State has adjudged to possess a wiser head than mine.

HOW TO “COME OVER” A MAN.

The commissioner, when he left the office of Mr. Bottomly, encountered Mr. G., who, as we have seen, had just left the parlor of the Morrison. G. seized him by the arm, and insisted that he should go home and dine with him. It was the intention of the commissioner, to have gone immediately to Mr. Bold Eno, whose advice he now began to consider a salvo against the tricks and managements of others; not in the least imagining that, should he once get in the clutches of that gentleman, it would be like escaping from the thievishness of apes, to throw himself into the embrace of a Bear. Such an interview was precisely what G. desired to prevent, and consequently, he was persuasive to a degree that common sense, in polite society, would denominate rudeness. The commissioner, who, in days gone by, had often urged the weary traveller to partake of the bounty of his board, or accept the shelter of his roof, and whose open heart and hand still made the luxuries of his table the common property of his friends, had no idea of such a perversion of the rights of hospitality, as a prostitution of them to the sordid purposes of interest. He was therefore persuaded; and once at home with G., he was there detained through the day and evening, and regaled with savory viands—“taste after taste with kindliest change upheld,” with flowing nectar, dulcet creams, and the sweet sounds of music, with beauty’s winning smiles, till his brain whirled with pleasure and delight.

GOOD EFFECTS OF HOSPITALITY.

It is not my business to record what further took place on that day and evening; how many friends accidentally came in, to enliven the scene, and how certain gentlemen, who were introduced to the commissioner, poured flattery into his ear. It is enough that the deed was done, and in the mind of the commissioner, the character of Mr. G. was established, as the most disinterested, polite, gentlemanly, agreeable, hospitable, and honest, of men; and to his guidance he therefore submitted himself.

On the following morning, agreeably to the preconcerted plan, the commissioner, having been notified, attended at the office of the Morrison, at the appointed hour: and, in the mean time, Messrs. G. and S. having agreed between themselves to raise the amount immediately wanted by the commissioner, little remained to be done. Terms were at once agreed upon—two millions of bonds were deposited in the vaults of the Morrison, and in a few days the commissioner started for the State of ——, with 250,000 dollars in good cash, and highly gratified with his reception and success. How much of the balance the State has ever received, the condition of their treasury will best explain. Certain it is, that the embarrassment, which, in more than one instance, has followed similar transactions, has been severely felt, and will be well remembered by our Western brethren.

A WORD ABOUT THE WEST.

And here—politics aside—a question may well be asked, which every man can answer for himself, so far as opinion goes. Have not the inexperience and inefficiency of some of their agents, and the villainy and irresponsibility of those with whom they have negotiated, contributed more to induce a proposition, in some of the States, to disgrace themselves by repudiating their debts, than any want of a proper sense of honor among the men of the West? If such is admitted to be the fact, it may, in some degree, excuse the rashness of their tempers; but whoever entertains such a proposition, after a moment’s reflection, would sell—not his own birth right—but his country and his kin for a morsel of bread.

THE BUBBLE WELL BLOWN.

To the uninitiated, it will seem a singular circumstance, that a company, without a dollar in their vaults, should undertake to loan two millions; but they forget the maxim, that credit is the life of business. This maxim formerly meant, that a credit, well sustained, gave success to enterprise—but by its misapplication and misuse, it has come to a different signification, viz: that the more one owes, the more he has to sport with; and it was precisely on this principle, that the Morrison Kennel contracted with the commissioner. It was only carrying out, in another shape, the invention of Nicholas—“always to be the borrower, when he appeared to lend.” They had now obtained possession of 2,000,000 of the bonds of the State of ——, by advancing only one eighth part of the amount. On the remainder, they could borrow largely, and they were now prepared to wing aloft a new flight; their gaseous inflation borne upward and onward by the breath of a fame of their own creation; and they were not long in choosing which way they should direct their course.

MYSTERIES LEFT UNEXPLAINED.

Some evil-minded people will perhaps begin to surmise that Nicholas was the master-moving spirit in this matter, and that he was artfully contriving to get his pay of the Morrison at the expense of some one else; perhaps of that nondescript body called the public. Only one thing, however, is certain; he did get his pay but as every story has a sequel, this will be found to have one also. If the Morrison did not lend him the State Bonds to support his own credit abroad, and then rally their own, by negotiating his bonds, appearances and common fame, whose poisoned breath we admit is no standard of truth, were certainly against them. On what principle matters were arranged between them, is not certainly known; but it is now matter of history that a system of issuing bonds, certificates, endorsing and counter endorsing, exchange and re-exchange, was adopted, by which they drew together a large amount of capital, and both became proud examples of the splendid results which a single inventive genius, like Fulton in steam, or Nicholas in finance, may produce. The affection existing between them was equalled only by the rivalry shown by each, in offices of kindness to the other.

CHARITY BEGINNING AT HOME.

The little responsibilities of endorsing or negotiating a million or two of bonds or certificates, were all undertaken and performed as mere offices of love. What if they were moved to such kindness by the promise, or the hope, of a reciprocal support? it but proves the excellence of their hearts, and the nearer approach to that command of the Master, that we “love our enemies,” and it is for such things only that we have reward. Their duty was to protect the commercial interests, of which they each considered themselves as the head; and, therefore, the first rule of propriety, and the first law of nature, imposed upon them the necessity of first taking care of themselves, individually, and their liberality in this respect cannot be too highly commended. They had a facility for raising money that other people had not, and duty required that they should enable their debtors to pay them; and if, in the accommodations necessarily granted for that purpose, the Morrison should lose a few hundred thousands, nobody would ever know how it had been lost. The stockholders, a vagabond race scattered over the face of the earth, whom nobody knows, would have to bear it; and, (aside,) perhaps they could screen themselves, and protect the Morrison, by throwing it all upon Nicholas, should things go wrong. After all, what was such a loss, compared with the importance and public benefit of supporting the commercial interest.

A CURE FOR HYPO.

It was not to be considered for a moment, and the wisdom of this conclusion was shortly made apparent in its effects. One gentleman is known to have recovered entirely from a nervous hypochondriacism, so severe, that his cheek blanched at the sight of his bill-book, and his rotund proportions shrank to the circumference of an eel, from the self-denial consequent upon poverty—or, what is more probable, the chagrin of disappointed ambition. But we are told that “the just shall inherit the earth,” and so it was in this instance; it having been affirmed, in vindication of this rule, that his reduced diameter, and assimilation to the animal aforesaid, enabled him to slide the easier between the sheriff and his conscience; and while his neighbors, one after another, were tumbling over the precipice of ruin, he was saved from being knocked down in their fall, by quietly reposing beneath the shade of the Morrison.

But I am growing too elaborate of description, and must bring this part of my story to a close. The subjects and material of the picture I am contemplating, are so numerous, and fruitful of thought, that it is difficult to decide which to choose, or where to stop; but the colors are too gross, and weary the eye and the mind. Besides, I hate to individualise, and must request my readers to bear in mind, that in the characters here described, nobody whatever is meant; and should they remember ever to have seen such a character as either of them, I must beg them to bury the memory of their follies beneath their more private and superior virtues, should they be found to have any; and if they are penitent, to throw the mantle of charity over the past, and screen them from the rude gaze of scrutiny.

CRISIS APPROACHING—NICK RETIRES.

The time was now fast approaching when the boluses administered by the Kennel physicians, could no longer support the weakened constitution of Pennsylvania’s great pet; and what was of more importance, in the opinion of the Kennel directors, his credit was no longer sufficient to support them.

Nicholas the first had retired from his charge, to fatten upon his laurels; Alas! that they should have faded so soon, and left him nothing but dry leaves whereon to feed his morbid appetite.

Mr. Done-up had succeeded to his place as chief physician; his patient had already suffered a relapse, and the symptoms were by no means favorable. His physicians recommended a more generous diet, but both shores of the Atlantic had already been dredged for dainties to satisfy his hungry maw. Yet still he grew more rabid, and would swallow at a gulp, what cost the labor of a year to procure.

SKULKING.

In this dilemma, the curs of the Morrison, perceiving that although they had paid the debt to Nicholas, contracted under the old direction, they had, in another shape, just doubled it under the new—that each of them had served his own purpose, and that not one of them owned a dollar in the Morrison or the U. S. B. they all resigned their seats, and scampered away to their dens; where, it is to be hoped, that, for the benefit of the coming generation, they will live and die in a good old age. And may God them assoil, the stockholders and creditors of the Morrison never will.

As I approach the conclusion of this chapter, my tale grows sadder, and still more sad. All created beings and things, which have beginning, must also have an end. Death lays his unpitying hand alike on man, and every monument of his greatness.

A TOUCH OF THE PATHETIC.

We wonder at the duration of our own existence; that the term of our lives should witness the pride of a powerful state; the successful opposer of the conqueror of armies, and the controller of millions, to dwell only in memory. Yet the sad tale has met our ear, that the U. S. B. of P. is no more.—That pillar of the currency that some thought was based on a rock of ages—that nursing mother, who would fain have gathered the whole nation, as a hen gathereth her brood under her wings—that giant of ubiquity, that dwelt in every town and city, a very mastodon in power, and a mastiff in watchfulness—deserted by his friends, persecuted by his enemies, and cheated by all—expired at Philadelphia on the 5th of Feb. A. D. 1841, after one long and piteous howl of 20 days and 6 hours, in the 5th year of his age.

The power of sympathy is one of the remarkable properties of life, throughout all animate and inanimate creation; and it is a circumstance worthy of note, that, at the moment of his expiring, every inferior cur, from New York to New Orleans, gave one loud and piercing yell, and laid himself down in his den. Throughout the land, old men bowed themselves in sorrow, widows wailed in secret, children began to cry for bread, girls in their teens shed salt tears, lest the fall of stocks should loose them their sweethearts, and a thousand and one ancient virgins retired in privacy to count their rosaries; not with catholic piety and reverence, but to see how much remained in the stocking.

A SHOW OF REASON.

My readers will be surprised, that I should apply the incongruous and unmusical name of bull dog to the U. S. B.; but I must beg them to recollect that I am in Wall-street, that this is Wall-street language, and that no other would be understood here. And as this was the name under which we first made his acquaintance, for the sake of consistency, I must carry out the figure. And to redeem my promise, it only remains that I should give some account of his disease.

For the benefit of science, and the coming generation, it is to be regretted that those who have his body in keeping, have refused a post-mortem examination.[3] Mr. Done-up, the chief physician, insists that he is not dead, and that he will have him kept for a year and a day, for experiments of the galvanic battery, electro-magnetic suspension, and such other inventions and restoratives as his skill may suggest. But it is the opinion of Wall-street physicians, that the doctor will never be able to do more than to embalm his body.

DISEASE—ITS NATURE AND CAUSE.

It is the opinion, also, of those who have had an opportunity of observing his symptoms, that his disease was a species of cholera, a sort of internal evacuation; or, to be more particular in explanation, that while promises were going out one way, the specie was going out the other; and that the too frequent gorging of stocks, state bonds, cotton speculations, &c., had the effect, like Major Downing’s elder-bark tea, to work both ways. One singular circumstance has attended him throughout; which, as it is a reversal of the order of nature, is worth mentioning. In his case, corruption took place long before death, and mortification afterwards. His disease is said to have had its origin in an overheating of the blood, in the great contest about the deposites. But as this is a matter of some dispute, I leave the point to be settled by the great successors of their “illustrious predecessors”—Dr. Done-up of Philadelphia, and Dr. Ran-down of Kinderhook, both of whom, it is supposed will now find sufficient leisure, amicably to settle their differences.

PRACTICAL HINTS.

My friend, the relator of the foregoing, here left me abruptly again, but as I am sure to find him in the same place to-morrow, I shall not fail to make him a visit. What the subject of his conversation will be, I cannot tell, but as he has found me a willing listener, I feel sure that he will be as communicative as ever.

It was my intention, at the close of this chapter, to have expanded a little on the great value to the public, of corporations, when in the hands of men of talent, property, and credit, who can, without responsibility to themselves, act for the benefit of the stockholders. But, as I have already detained my readers too long, and since people will think for themselves, right or wrong, if they ever chance to think at all, I need give no further evidence of their utility, and entire safety in such hands, than the following facts. Among all the officers and directors of the Morrison Kennel, and the U. S. B., in which about forty millions of dollars have been totally sunk and lost, not one of them ever failed, or lost a dollar in his individual capacity; and, had the stockholders loaned their capital directly to the merchants, through whom it will perhaps be said it has been lost, instead of investing it in those stocks, they would have saved in the last 25 years, only about 50 millions of dollars, in their expenses, investments in unconvertible property for their splendid accommodations, and losses consequent upon their management to sustain themselves in a ruinous business.

THE WAY OF SAFETY.

But, since commerce has so organized herself, that such institutions are necessary, if stockholders will not look after their own interest, if they will allow their agents to pursue their own pleasure without supervision, or accountability—if they will not employ as their agents, such men as will have some reference to a good conscience, and common sense, something besides selfishness in the performance of their duty to their principals, and the public, they deserve to lose their money.

WHAT EXPERIENCE SAYS ABOUT IT.

I have no wish to appear the censor of the past, or to make wise saws for the future. But for the benefit of those who may have a little money left to invest, I will give them, in few words, the experience of thirty years. Every institution, established for the purpose of creating capital, instead of investing that already possessed—every one established for the purposes of speculation, or monopoly, of any kind—or for the promotion of the interest of any particular individuals—every one which contracts debts against itself beyond the immediate means of paying, and thus loses its independence of character—and every one which perverts its means from the legitimate use, which, on a fair construction, was contemplated in its creation—either has ruined, or sooner or later will ruin, itself, its stockholders, and its customers.


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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