A King is a non-producing thief, sitting on a throne, surrounded by vermin.

Whiskey is the son of villainies, the father of all crimes, the mother of all abominations, the devil's best friend, and God's worst enemy.

An Orthodox Man is a gentleman petrified in his mind.

Heresy is a cradle.

Orthodoxy is a coffin.

Chicago is a marvel of energy, a miracle of nerva

The Pulpit is a pillory.

Theology is a superstition.

Humanity is the only religion.

A Republican is a man who loves something.

A Democrat is a man who hates something.

Germany is the Land of Science.

Civilization is the Child of Forethought

Prejudice is the Child of Ignorance.

Infidelity is Liberty.

Religion is Slavery.