28 Meditations upon Death, after the Votes of Non-Addresses, and His Majesties closer Imprisonment in Carisbrook-Castle.

A S I have leisure enough, so I have cause more then enough, to meditate upon, and prepare for My Death: for I know, there are but, few steps between the Prisons and Graves of Princes.

It is Gods indulgence which gives me the space, but Mans cruelty that gives Me the sad occasions for these thoughts.

For, besides the common burthen of mortalitie, which lies upon Me, as a Man; I now bear the heavy load of other mens ambitions, fears, jealousies, and cruel passions, whose envie or enmity against Me, makes their own lives seem deadly to them, while I enjoy any part of Mine.

I thank God, My prosperitie made Me not wholly a stranger to the contemplations of mortalitie.

Those are never unseasonable, since this is alwaies uncertain: Death being an eclipse, which oft happeneth as well in cleer as cloudy dayes.

But My now long and sharp adversity hath so reconciled in Me those natural Antipathies between Life and Death, which are in all men, that I thank God, the common terrors of it are dispelled; and the special horrour of it, as to My particular, much allayed: for although My Death at present may justly be represented to Me with all those terrible aggravations, which the policy of cruel and implacable enemies can put upon it (affaires being drawn to the very dregs of malice) yet I bless God, I can look upon all those stings, as unpoysonous, though sharp; since My Redeemer hath either pulled them out, or given Me the Antidote of his Death against them, which as to the immaturity, injustice, shame, scorn, and cruelty of it, exceeded what ever I can fear.

Indeed, I never did find so much, the life of Religion, the feast of a good Conscience, and the brazen wall of a judicious integrity and constancy, as since I came to these closer conflicts with the thoughts of Death.

I am not so old, as to be wearie of life; nor (I hope) so bad, as to be either afraid to die, or ashamed to live: true, I am so afflicted, as might make Me sometime even desire to die, if I did not consider, That it is the greatest glory of a Christians life to die daily, in conquering by a lively faith, and patient hopes of a better life, those partiall and quotidian deaths, which kill us (as it were) by piece-meales, and make us overlive our own fates: while we are deprived of health, honour, liberty, power, credit, safety, or estate; and those other comforts of dearest relations, which are as the life of our lives.

Though, as a King, I think My self to live in nothing temporall so much, as in the love and good-will of my People; for which, as I have suffered many deaths, so I hope I am not in that point as yet wholly dead: notwithstanding; My Enemies have used all the poyson of falsity and violence of hostility to destroy, first the love and Loyalty, which is in my Subjects; and then all that content of life in me, which from these I chiefly enjoyed.

Indeed, they have left me but little of life, and only the husk and shell (as it were) which their further malice and cruelty can take from me; having bereaved me of all those worldly comforts, for which life it self seems desirable to men.

But, O my Soul! think not that life too long, or tedious, wherein God gives thee any opportunities, if not to do, yet to suffer with such Christian patience and magnanimity, in a good Cause, as are the greatest honour of our lives, and the best improvement of our deaths.

I know that in point of true Christian valor, it argues pusillanimity to desire to dye out of weariness of life, and a want of that heroick greatness of Spirit which becoms a Christian in the patient and generous sustaining those afflictions, which as shadows necessarily attend us, while we are in this body: and which are lessned or enlarged as the Sun of our prosperity moves higher, or lower: whose totall absence is best recompensed with the Dew of Heaven.

The assaults of affliction may be terrible, like Sampsons Lyon, but they yeild much sweetness to those that dare to encounter and overcome them; who know how to overlive the witherings of their Gourds without discontent or peevishness, while they may yet converse with God.

That I must die as a man, is certain; that I may die a King, by the hands of my own Subjects, a violent, sodain, barbarous death; in the strength of my years, in the midst of my Kingdoms; my Friends and loving Subjects being helpless Spectators; my Enemies insolent Revilers and Triumphers over me, living, dying, and dead, is so probable in humane reason, that God hath taught me not to hope otherwise as to mans crueltie; however, I despair not of Gods infinite mercy.

I know my life is the Object of the devils & wicked mens malice, but yet under Gods sole custodie and disposal: whom I do not think to flatter for longer life by seeming prepared to die; but I humbly desire to depend upon him, and to submit to his will both in life and death, in what order soever he is pleased to lay them out to me. I confess it is not easie for me to contend with those many horrours of Death, wherewith God suffers me to be tempted; which are equally horrid, either in the suddennesse of a barbarous Assasination or in those greater formalities, whereby my Enemies [being more solemnly cruel] will, it may be, seek to adde [as those did who Crucified Christ] the mockery of Justice, to the cruelty of malice: That I may be destroyed, as with greater pomp and artifice, so with less pity, will be but a necessary policie to make my Death appear as an Act of Justice, done by subjects upon their Soveraign, who know that no Law of God or Man invests them with any power of Judicature without me, much lesse against me: and who, being sworn, and bound by all that is sacred before God and man, to endeavour my preservation, must pretend Justice to cover their perjury.

It is, indeed, a sad fate for any man to have his Enemies to be Accusers, Parties, and Judges; but most desperate, when this is acted by the insolence of Subjects against their Soveraign; wherein those, who have had the cheifest hand, and are most guilty of contriving the publick Troubles, must by shedding my bloud, seem to wash their own hands of that innocent bloud whereof they are now most evidently guilty before God and Man; and I beleeve in their own Consciences too, while they carried on unreasonable Demands, First by Tumults, after by Armies. Nothing makes mean spirits more cowardly-cruel in managing their usurped power against their lawful Superiours then this, the guilt of their unjust Usurpation: notwithstanding those specious & popular pretentions of Justice against Delinquents applied only to disguise at first the monstrousnesse of their designs, who despaired, indeed, of possessing the power and profits of the Vineyard, till the heir whose right it is, be cast out and slain.

With them My greatest fault must be, that I would not either destroy My Self with the Church and State by My word, or not suffer them to do it un-resisted by the Sword; whose covetous ambition no Concessions of Mine could ever yet either satisfie, or abate.

Nor is it likely they will ever think, that Kingdom of brambles which some men seek to erect (at once weak, sharp, and fruitlesse, either to God or man) is like to thrive till watered with the Royal bloud of those, whose right the Kingdom is.

Well, Gods will be done, I doubt not but my Innocencie will finde him both my Protector and my Advocate, who is my only Judg; whom I own as King of Kings, not onely for the eminency of his Power and Majestie above them; but also for that singular care and protection which he hath over them; who knows them to be exposed to as many dangers (being the greatest patrons of Law, Justice, Order, and Religion on earth) as there be either Men or Devils, which love confusion.

Nor will he suffer those men long to prosper in their Babel, who build it with the bones, and cement it with the bloud of their Kings.

I am confident they will find Avengers of my death among themselves: the injuries I have sustained from them shall be first punished by them, who agreed in nothing so much as in opposing me.

Their impatience to bear the loud cry of my bloud, shall make them think no way better to expiate it, then by shedding theirs, who with them most thirsted after mine.

The sad confusions following my destruction, are already presaged and confirmed to me by those I have lived to see since my troubles; in which God alone (who only could) hath many ways pleaded my cause; not suffering them to go unpunished, whose confederacy in sin was their only security; who have cause to fear that God will both further divide and by mutuall vengeance, afterward destroy them.

My greatest conquest of death is from the power and love of Christ, who hath swallow'd up death in the Victory of his Resurection, and the Glory of his Ascention.

My next comfort is, that he gives me not only the honour to imitate his example in suffering for righteousness sake (though obscur'd by the foulest charges of Tyranny and Injustice,) but also, that charity, which is the noblest revenge upon, and victory over my Destroyers: By which, I thank God, I can both forgive them and pray for them, that God would not impute my blood to them, further then to convince them, what need they have of Christs bloud to wash their souls from the guilt of shedding mine.

At present, the will of mine Enemies seems to be their only rule, their power the measure, and their Successe the Exactor, of what they please to call Justice, while they flatter themselves with the fancy of their own safety by my danger, and the security of their lives designs by My Death: forgetting, That as the greatest temptations to sin are wrapped up in seeming prosperities, so the severest vengeances of God are then most accomplished, when men are suffered to compleat their wicked purposes.

I bless God, I Pray not so much, that this bitter Cup of violent Death may pass from Me, as that of his wrath may pass from al those, whose hands by deserting Me, are sprinkled, or by Acting and Consenting to My Death are embrued with My Bloud.

The will of God hath confined, and concluded Mine; I shall have the pleasure of Dying, without any pleasure of desired vengeance.

This I think becomes a Christian toward his Enemies, and a King toward His Subjects.

They cannot deprive Me of more then I am content to lose, when God sees fit by their hands to take it from Me; whose mercy I beleive, will more then infinitely recompence what ever by mans injustice, he is pleased to deprive Me of.

The glory attending My Death, will far surpass all I could enjoy, or conceive in life.

I shall not want the heavy and envyed Crowns of this world, when My God hath mercifully Crowned and Consummated his graces with Glory, and exchanged the shadows of My earthly Kingdoms among men, for the substance of that Heavenlie Kingdom with himself.

For the censures of the world; I know the sharp and necessarie tyrannie of My Destroyers will sufficiently confute the calumnies of tyrannie against Me; I am perswaded I am happie in the judicious love of the ablest and best of My Subjects, who do not only Pitie and Pray for Me, but would be content even to die with Me, or for Me.

These know how to excuse My failings, as a man, and yet to retain and pay their dutie to Me, as their King; there being no religious necessitie binding any Subjects by pretending to punish, infinitely to exceed the faults and errors of their Princes, especially there, where more then sufficient satisfaction hath been made to the Publick; the enjoyment of which, private ambitions have hitherto frustrated.

Others, I beleeve, of softer tempers, and less advantaged by My ruine, do alreadie feel sharp convictions, and some remorse in their Consciences: where they cannot but see the proportions of their evil dealings against Me in the measure of Gods retaliations upon them, who cannot hope long to enjoy their own thumbs and toes, having under pretence of paring others nails bin so cruel as to cut off their cheifest strength.

The punishment of the more insolent and obstinate, may be like that of Korah and his complices (at once mutining against both Prince and Priest) in such a method of divine justice, as is not ordinary, the earth of the lowest and meanest people opening upon them, and swallowing them up in a just disdain of their ill-gotten, and worse used Authority: upon whose support and strength they chiefly depended for their building and establishing their designes against Me, the Church and State.

My chiefest comfort in death consists in my peace, which I trust, is made with God; before whose exact Tribunall I shall not fear to appear, as to the Cause so long disputed by the Sword, between me and my causelese Enemies, where I doubt not but his righteous Judgment will confute their fallacy, who from worldly success (rather like Sophisters, then sound Christians) draw those popular conclusions for Gods approbation of their actions; whose wise providence (we know) oft permits many events which his revealed word (the only clear, safe, and fixed rule of good actions and good consciences) in no sort approves.

I am confident, the justice of my Cause, and clearness of my Conscience before God, and toward my people, wil carry me as much above them in Gods decision, as their Successes have lifted them above me in the Vulgar opinion: who consider not, that many times those undertakings of men are lifted up to heaven in the prosperity and applause of the world, whose rise is from hell, as to the injuriousness and oppression of the design. The prosperous winds which oft fil the sails of Pirats, doth not justifie their piracy and rapine.

I look upon it with infinite more content and quiet of Soul, to have been worsted in my enforced contestation for, and vindication of the Laws of the Land, the Freedom and Honour of Parliaments, the Rights of my Crown, the just Liberty of my Subjects, and the true Christian Religion in its Doctrine, Government, and due Encouragements, then if I had, with the greatest advantages of success over-born them all; as some men have now evidently done, whatever designes they at first pretended.

The prayers and patience of my Friends and loving Subjects will contribute much to the sweetning of this bitter cup, which I doubt not but I shall more cheerfully take and drink, as from Gods hand (if it must be so) then they can give it to me, whose hands are unjustly and barbarously lifted up against Me.

And as to the last event, I may seem to owe more to my Enemies then my Friends; while those will put a period to the sins and sorrows attending this miserable life, wherewith these desire, I might still contend.

I shall be more then Conquerour through, Christ enabling me: for whom I have hitherto suffered, as he is the Author of Truth, Order, and Peace; for all which I have been forced to contend against Errour, Faction, and confusion.

If I must suffer a violent death with my Saviour; it is but mortality crowned with martyrdom: where the debt of death, which I owe for sin to nature, shall be raised as a gift of faith and patience offered to God.

Which I humbly beseech him mercifully to accept; and although death be the wages of my own sinne, as from God, and the effect of others sinnes, as men, both against God and me; yet as I hope my own sinnes are so remitted, that they shall be no ingredients to imbitter the cup of my death, so I desire God to pardon their sins, who are most guilty of my destruction.

The Trophees of my charitie will be more glorious and durable over them, then their ill managed victories over me.

Though their sin be prosperous, yet they had need to be penitent, that they may be pardoned: Both which, I pray God they may obtain: that my temporal Death unjustly inflicted by them, may not be revenged by Gods just inflicting eternal death upon them: for I look upon the temporall destruction of the greatest King, as far lesse deprecable then the eternall damnation of the meanest Subject.

Nor do I wish other then the safe bringing of the ship to shore, when they have cast me overboard; though it be very strange, that Mariners can finde no other means to appease the storms themselves have raised, but by drowning their Pilot.

I thank God, my Enemies cruelty cannot prevent my preparation; whose malice in this I shall defeat, that they shall not have the satisfaction to have destroyed my Soul with my Body; of whose salvation, while some of them have themselves seemed, and taught others to despair, they have onely discovered this, that they do not much desire it.

Whose uncharitable and cruell Restraints, denying me even the assistance of any of my Chaplains, hath rather enlarged, then any way obstructed my accesse to the Throne of Heaven,

Where thou dwellest, O King of Kings, who fillest Heaven and Earth, who art the fountain of eternal life, in whom is no shadow of death.

Thou, O God, art both the just Afflicter of death upon us, and the mercifull Saviour of us in it, and from it.

Yea, it is better for us to be dead to our selves, and live in thee; then by living in our selves, to be deprived of thee.

O make the many bitter aggravations of my death as a Man, and a King, the opportunities and advantages of thy speciall Graces and Comforts in my Soul as a Christian.

If thou Lord wilt be with me, I shall neither fear nor feel any evill, though I walk thorow the valley of the shadow of death.

To contend with death is the work of a weak and mortall man; to overcome it, is the grace of thee alone, who art the Almighty and immortall God.

O my Saviour, who knowest what it is to die with me as a Man; make me know what it is to passe through death to life with thee my God.

Though I die, yet I know that thou my Redeemer livest for ever: though thou slayest Me, yet thou hast encouraged me to trust in thee for eternal life.

O withdraw not thy favour from me, which is better then life.

O be not far from me, for I know not now neer a violent and cruel death is to me.

As thy Omniscience, O God, discovers, so thy Omnipotence can defeat the designes of those who have, or shall conspire my destruction.

O shew me the goodnesse of thy will, through the wickednesse of theirs.

Thou givest me leave as a man to pray, that this cup may pass from me; but thou hast taught Me as a Christian by the example of Christ to add not my will, but thine be done.

Yea Lord, let our wils be one, by wholly resolving mine into thine: let not the desire of life in me be so great, as that of doing or suffering thy wil in either life or death.

As I believe thou hast forgiven all the errours of my life, so I hope thou wilt save me from the terrors of my death.

Make me content to leave the worlds nothing, that I may come really to enjoy all in thee, who hast made Christ unto me in life, gain; and in death advantage.

Though my destroyers forget their dutie to thee and me, yet do not thou, O Lord, forget to be mercifull to them.

For, what profit is there in my bloud, or in their gaining my Kingdoms, if they lose their own Souls?

Such as have not onely resisted my just Power, but wholly usurped and turned it against my self, though they may deserve, yet let them not receive to themselves damnation.

Thou madest thy Son a Saviour to many that crucified him, while at once he suffered violently by them, and yet willingly for them.

O let the voice of his bloud be heard for my Murtherers, louder then the cry of mine against them.

Prepare them for thy mercy by due convictions of their sin, and let them not at once deceive and damne their own souls by fallacious pretensions of Justice in destroying me, while the conscience of their unjust usurpation of power against me, chiefly tempts them to use all extremities against me.

O Lord, thou knowest I have found their mercies to me as very false, so very cruell, who pretending to preserve me, have meditated nothing but my ruine.

O deal not with them as bloud thirsty and deceitfull men; but overcome their cruelty with thy compassion and my charitie.

And when thou makest inquisition for my blood, O sprinkle their polluted, yet penitent Souls with the bloud of thy Son, that thy destroying Angel may passe over them.

Though they think my Kingdoms on earth too little to entertain at once both them and me; yet let the capacious Kingdom of thy infinite mercy at last receive both me and my enemies.

When being reconciled to thee in the bloud of the same Redeemer, wee shall live far above these ambitious desires, which beget such mortall enmities.

When their hands shall be heaviest and cruellest upon me, O let me fall into the arms of thy tender and eternall mercies.

That what is cut off of my life in this miserable moment, may be repaied in thy ever blessed Eternity.

Lord, let thy servant depart in peace, for mine eyes have seen thy salvation.