The marriage bond is sacred. It lasts for life: "Until death do us part." But it is probable that qualities of temperament and mind in each one will develop which will surprise the other. Some of these may produce an unfavorable impression. Others may prove most agreeable surprises. Each person has come from a different class of associations, and each has a different nature. Here comes in the great necessity of accommodation and adaptation. Too early and too much criticism spoils many a home. "One silent, both happy," is an old motto well worth observing. But often a single appreciative word will brighten the whole sky. One of Franklin's plain phrases has its wise lesson: "As we must account for every idle word, so we must for every idle silence." Frederika Bremer says: "Marriage has a morrow, and again a morrow." You will need to bear with each other, and to so act, each to the other, that every day may be made beautiful and happy, and the whole future one of mutual and respectful forbearance.

"Foolish to think," says Dr. A. P. Peabody, "that the whole mutual life can flow on like the early stream, without a ripple or eddy. Home is a school, a discipline whereby husband and wife are to grow unto each other, getting rid of their angularities, harmonizing their peculiar characteristics, and more and more becoming one in thought, sympathy, and life. The true blessedness of wedded souls is not insured by a simple exchange of plighted faith. It comes through and after many a self-denial, many a crucifixion of the will, many a scourging of the resentment, anger, pride, vanity, and passions of the heart. It is true here, as in other relations, that 'he who saveth his life shall lose it, and he that loseth his life shall save it.'"

Do not forget, then, that the life at home has its severe tests. If it is not an expected thing, it will be the unexpected which will try your nature and make your burden heavy. You should remember, if there is fault, that it is not all on one side. The unkind word may come to the lips, but it should never be spoken.

The graces of patience, sublime calmness, golden silence, should be cultivated with delightful zeal. You may each have had your way, but now the way of another must be respected. Besides, it may be a much better and safer way than yours. John Angell James says: "Where both have infirmities, and they are so constantly together, innumerable occasions will be furnished, if we are eager, or even willing, to avail ourselves of the opportunities for those contentions which, if they do not produce a permanent suppression of love, lead to its temporary interruption. Many things we should connive at, others we should pass by with an unprovoked mind, and in all things most carefully avoid even what at first may seem to be an innocent disputation."

The real basis of adaptation is mutual respect and love. Neither the husband nor the wife must judge each other too critically. The indiscreet word, or error of any kind, must never be allowed to cause a doubt as to the heart's deep affection. Gentleness, patience, time, will give ample opportunity for the full sunlight to break forth. Each heart needs the other for true happiness. It must be a united life. In "Hiawatha" we read the true relation:

The married life, to be supremely happy, must be thoroughly unselfish. I was once on shipboard with a tourist who was accompanied by his wife, but for whose opinion he seemed, even to other travelers, to show but little respect. The voyage was a long one, and while the wife's bearing was most gentle and kindly, his manner impressed me as thoroughly selfish. I do not imagine that he was aware of the abrupt and strongly personal quality of his bearing toward his refined and cultured wife. With all his wealth he lacked that appearance of tenderness which is more than gold or precious stones.

No effort must be spared by either husband or wife to contribute to the other's happiness and comfort. It does not require a long time, especially when living together, for one to see what will please another. This desire to please, strengthening with the days and years, revealing itself in a thousand kindly ways, will do more than any thing else to make the home a paradise on earth.

Cowper gives the true secret of a beautiful and strengthening reciprocal adaptation:

I believe the Germans excel all others in literature in their warm tributes to the faithful love and devotion of their wives. Kerner, the Suabian author, said this beautiful word in testimony of his wife after their long years of happiness together: "She hath borne with me." Martin Luther said of his wife, the devoted Catherine: "I would not exchange my poverty with her for all the riches of Croesus without her." Bismarck, the man of "blood and iron," says of his wife: "She it is who made me what I am."