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| Chapter I.—A Few Stubborn Facts not wholly Unconnected with the Discovery of America | 13 |
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| Chapter II.—In which the Early Life of this Man Columbus is Inquired into—Disappointed Parents—The Bane of Genius—“Pooh-Pooh!”—Convincing Arguments | 18 |
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| Chapter III.—Treats of other Discoveries and Does Great Credit to the Author’s Sense of Justice | 27 |
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| Chapter IV.—Having to his Entire Satisfaction Settled the Question as to who Discovered America, the Author Proceeds to Settle the Country Itself—John Smith is Mentioned—John Smith on the Rostrum—John Smith in Difficulties—The Plot Thickens as far as J. Smith is Concerned—The Death Penalty—Slow Music—**** Saved! | 30 |
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| Chapter V.—Treats of the Early History of Massachusetts and Makes Mention of a Pilgrim Father or two, also Shows what a Good Memory the Author has for Dates | 44 |
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| Chapter VI.—Connecticut—Indian Definition Extraordinary—What the Dutch Thought of the English, and what the English Thought of the Dutch—Story of the Charter Oak—Wooden Nutmegs Invented | 50 |
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| Chapter VII.—Rhode Island—Roger Williams “Dealt” With—A Desperate Dissenter | 56 |
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| Chapter VIII.—New Hampshire—Slim Picking—An Effective Indian Policy—John Smith again Comes out Strong | 59 |
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| Chapter IX.—Some Unreliable Statements Concerning the Early History of New York—Traces of a Great Undertaking—Advance in Real Estate—“Look Here upon this Picture and on This” | 64 |
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| Chapter X.—A Flood of Historical Light is Let in upon New Jersey—Aborigines—The First Boarding House—Organ-Grinding as a Fine Art | 69 |
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| Chapter XI.—Pennsylvania Seen Through a Glass Darkly—Wm. Penn Stands Treat—A Striking Resemblance—How to Preserve the Hair | 74 |
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| Chapter XII.—Maryland Settled—What’s in a Name?—Peculiar Monetary System | 77 |
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| Chapter XIII.—Two Birds Killed with One Stone—A Colored Citizen Declares his Intentions—In Settling North and South Carolina the Author is Himself Unsettled | 80 |
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| Chapter XIV.—Georgia Slavery—A Dark Subject | 84 |
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| Chapter XV.—English vs. French—Pursuit of Bull-Frogs under Difficulties—Truth Stranger than Fiction | 85 |
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| Chapter XVI.—The Navigation Acts—Illicit Toothpicks—A Cargo of Tea Unloaded—Pork and Beans as a Beverage—Rumors of War | 90 |
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| Chapter XVII.—Revolutionary—A Row at Concord—A Masterly Retreat—The British Count Noses | 96 |
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| Chapter XVIII.—Full Account of the Battle of Bunker Hill—False Teeth and Heroism—Are Republics Ungrateful? | 99 |
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| Chapter XIX.—Still Revolutionary—The First Fourth of July Takes Place—Declaration of Independence—An Able Document—Parliament is Much Moved and Gets out Yellow Handbills | 103 |
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| Chapter XX.—Revolutionary as Before—“Place None but Americans on Guard To-night”—Christmas Festivities—Almost a Victory—A Britisher Shows Washington Great Disrespect—Washington Crossing the Delaware | 108 |
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| Chapter XXI.—More Revolutionary than Ever—Lively Times at a Watering Place—The Stars and Stripes Invented | 114 |
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| Chapter XXII.—Imprudent Conduct of Benedict Arnold—A Real Estate Speculation—$50,000 the Price of Liberty (Terms Cash)—Major AndrÉ Seriously Compromised—Suspense—Evil Communications—A Tale-Bearing Yellow Dog | 117 |
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| Chapter XXIII.—The Affairs of the Revolution Wound Up—Cornwallis Steps Down and Out | 131 |
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| Chapter XXIV.—An Incident of the Revolution |
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