M Miss Tabitha Grey had not reached the age of forty-five years without acquiring an extensive and unfavorable knowledge of her sex. Men were wicked; Miss Grey admitted and deplored the fact, but it was so much in the order of nature that she had almost ceased to cavil at it. But that women should be wicked! Here Miss Grey’s toleration gave out. And so many women, especially young women, and more especially pretty young women, were wicked. It was atrocious! Entertaining this general opinion, Miss Grey, as a matter of course, One morning, after breakfast, Miss Grey took her knitting and the Church Times and sat down in the veranda. A moment later, to her disgust, Charlie Lester and Captain Petrie came out of the breakfast room, lit their pipes, and, after a polite “Good-morning,” took their seats a few yards from her. Miss Grey sniffed the tobacco-tainted air, and was “I wonder when Maggie will be down,” said Lester; “I want to tell her.” “Oh, you’re too late,” said Petrie; “I’ve told her.” “What, have you seen her?” “Yes. I knew she’d like to know, so I went outside her door five minutes ago and shouted what we’d heard, and she came out directly.” “Had she anything on?” inquired Lester, in an interested tone. “No,” responded Captain Petrie; “but that made no difference.” “It would to me,” said Lester, with a smile. “And to me,” said the captain; “but it didn’t to her. I reminded her of it, and she said that it made no odds—she wanted to hear all I knew directly. So we stood in the passage, and——” Miss Grey had been gradually becoming more and more horrified. She had been prepared for a good deal, but this was too much. And the creature’s own brother listened to it! Her knitting fell from her grasp, and the needles jangled on the tiled floor. The captain hastened to pick them up, interrupting his narrative for that purpose; but Miss Grey froze him with an awful look, and strode into the house. Miss Grey was a woman who never allowed herself to be turned from the path of duty, however “Hullo! what’s up?” said Charlie Lester. But nobody knew what was up; and, to all appearance, Maggie least of all, for she cheerfully “It wouldn’t have been so bad if I’d had anything—even the least little bit—on, would it?” “Ah, you ought to have put your boots on,” said the captain, with a smile. A fifth lady, sitting by, overheard these remarks, and when, after lunch, Miss Grey informed her of the startling occurrence of the morning, her testimony completed the damning chain of evidence. They made a joke of it! What could the suggestion of boots—only boots—be, except a vulgar, shameless jest? The ladies went in a body to the proprietor, and intimated that either they or the Lester party must forthwith leave the hotel. “I assure you, ladies,” exclaimed the proprietor, beads of perspiration standing on his brow, “it’s the first time such a thing has ever occurred in my house.” “It must be the last,” said Miss Grey firmly. “I will act at once,” declared the proprietor. “This is a respectable house, and such proceedings cannot be tolerated. Good gracious! It would endanger my license!” “And your soul,” said Miss Grey solemnly. “I beg your pardon, miss?” said the proprietor. “And your soul,” repeated Miss Grey. “Oh, yes, to be sure—of course, my soul, miss. As it was, I had a bother about it last year—my license, I mean, miss. I’ll go to Mr. Lester at once.” The proprietor was a nervous, bashful man, and when he found himself standing before the Lesters and Captain Petrie, as they drank their after-luncheon coffee, he was much embarrassed. At last he managed to indicate that he wished to speak to Mr. Lester alone. “Oh, nonsense!” said Charlie. “Go on. What’s the matter?” The proprietor nerved himself for the effort. After all, if these people were not ashamed for themselves, why should he blush for them? Looking sternly at Charlie, he began to formulate his “What do you mean, you little rascal? What’s this scandalous nonsense you’ve got hold of?” and the captain shook his host severely. “I am not to be bullied, sir,” said the proprietor stoutly. “I have excellent authority for what I say, and——” “Whose authority?” The proprietor vouched Miss Grey and the fifth lady. “We must look into this,” said the captain. Maggie, who was blushing severely, but was not without a secret tendency to convulsive laughter, was prevailed upon to accompany them, and the four “Not gone yet?” she exclaimed. “No, ma’am,” said the captain; “we want to hear your story first.” “Have you no shame?” demanded Miss Grey of Maggie. “Never mind that, ma’am,” said the captain; “let’s have the story first.” Miss Grey cast an appealing glance at the ceiling, and began: “With my own ears I heard it. Mrs. Britson [Mrs. Britson was the fifth lady] will confirm what I say. With my own ears I heard Captain Petrie relate to Mr. Lester—to this person’s brother—that he had had an interview with this person when this person was A shudder ran through the audience. The culprits’ faces expressed real or simulated astonishment. “If I must put it plainly,” pursued Miss Grey—and at this several ladies opened their fans and held them before their faces—“Captain Petrie said that Miss Lester—that person—had nothing on, and that when he reminded her of it she stated that the circumstance was immaterial. Subsequently, at luncheon, the young woman herself admitted the fact in the hearing of Mrs. Britson. If that is not enough——” It apparently was enough, for Charlie Lester threw himself into an armchair with a wild shriek of “By Jove! I’ve got it. Oh! this beats anything!” And he joined in with a loud guffaw. “Is that the way you treat such a—an abominable——” began Miss Grey austerely. “Oh, stop! for Heaven’s sake stop!” exclaimed the captain; “you’ll be the death of me, you really will!” Silence followed for a moment, and the captain, conquering his mirth, went on: “I don’t know if any of you ladies go in for horse-racing. Probably not; I’m sure Miss Grey doesn’t. Well, this morning I heard that a horse of mine which is running in a race to-day had done an exceptionally The ladies glanced at one another in some confusion. Miss Grey looked angry and suspicious. “And the boots?” she said. “To put your boots on a horse,” explained the captain politely, “is a slang expression for betting your entire available fortune on his success. Another expression is to put your shirt——” “Sir!” said Miss Grey. But Miss Grey’s sway was ended. Maggie burst into a fresh fit of laughter, and, after a moment’s pause the whole company followed suit. Miss Grey turned and left the room. The next day she left the hotel; she could not face her victorious foes. Captain Petrie insisted on handing her into the omnibus, saying as he did so, “Be easy, my dear madam. In future it shall be my care to see that Miss Lester has something on.” |