| JOSIAH ALLEN GOES ASTRAY. |
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| A curious World and a curious Coincidence—Realms of Mystery—Josiah Acts queer and Sits on a Volcano—“Wait till Evenin’”—Widow Bump and Her Nutcakes are Discussed—How She Ruined the Tailors—A tedious Evening and a Night of Woe—Fearful Words from the sleeping Josiah—“The real Josiah, Where was He?”—A mysterious Sign—Firm Resolves—“Pardners Must Be Watched”—Duty Tackled—Josiah Stays at Home—Samantha’s powerful Weapons victorious, and the Widow Bump Forgotten | 19-51 |
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| KITTY SMITH AND CALEB COBB. |
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| A Visit from One of the Smiths Who is Poor and Proud—Kitty’s Secret, which Must Be Kept—Her Would-be Lover, and how She Encouraged Him—Sketch of Kellup the Hearse-driver and His Experiences with Hair dyes—Why He Didn’t Marry—Blamed by the Census-taker—How Nine Girls Lost Him—How He Killed Jane Sofier—The Death-Blow—His Warning to Women—Old Cobb and His Arguments—A Sermon by Samantha—The old, old Story Rehearsed—Kitty’s Kiss—Fun for Kitty | 52-89 |
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| JOSIAH GOES INTO BUSINESS. |
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| Josiah, Hankering for Speculation and Neighbors, Repairs the old House and Rents It to “a beautiful Family” from Zoar—Rumors that They were Smoked out—Josiah Feels neat, and Loves to Neighbor—So Do the Spinkses, Their Cow, and Their Hens—They Borrow Feather Beds, Pantaloons, and Pork—Their Twin “Takes to Him”—He Nurses the Twin, Sleeps with the Boys, Chases the Cow, and Takes “solid Comfort”; but “Gets mad” at last, and Meditates Murder—Summary Process—Adieu to the Spinkses | 90-118 |
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| MORALIZIN’ AND EPISODIN’. |
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| Josiah Longs for more Speculation and Comes Home “as cross as a Bear”—An Epoch of History—The new Head-dress and how It Was Bought—Caleb Cobb’s Opinions thereof, and of extravagant Members of the Meetin’-house—Samantha Rejoins, Holding up Nature Wreathed in Beauty as a Pattern, and Advocating Charity toward both the Rich and the Poor—Two Sides to Everything—Naming the Baby—Caleb Changes the Subject, and Starts off to Borrow the Stun-bolt | 119-151 |
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| JOSIAH UNDERTAKES MORE BUSINESS. |
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| How old Ben Mandagool Made Money—Josiah Wants to do likewise, but Knowing Samantha will Object, Feels cross, Looks mauger, and at last Says He Wants to take Summer Boarders—Affection vs. Principle—Samantha Yields—Josiah Engages Boarders, and Figures out the Profits—A Competency at last!—“Get a Girl”—The Tip-toe of Expectation—Arrival of the Dankses—Tremendous Appetites—Victuals and Profits Disappear—The Secret out—More Trouble—A heavy Bill, and how he Flatted the Colt and Squshed the Grin’-stun—How They Made Ghosts and Were hard on the Tom Turkey—Night-walking and Historicks—Arrival of old Danks—The Crisis—Josiah’s Wrath—How He Scared Danks, and how Danks Scared him—Samantha Speaks of Matrimony and its Responsibilities, and Consoles all Matrimourners—A Lawsuit and its Result | 152-188 |
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| A VISIT FROM MISS RICKERSON. |
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| A windy Day—The Simons of the Desert—Good Advice to Women—Preparing for an Emergency—“Likely Creeters”—Now and then—Vain Experiments—The miscarried Letter—“She is Coming to-day!”—Arrival of Miss Rickerson, she that Was an Allen—Her flattering Tongue—How She Scared Caleb Cobb, Extolled the Spring Corset, and made Josiah Think he was handsome—Our four old Fathers and their chilly Blue Laws—“Praise your Friends while they Are Living”—Samantha Holds firm, but Cooks good Victuals, and Does well by Alzina Ann | 189-204 |
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| CASSANDRA’S TEA PARTY. |
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| History of Cassandra and her Misfortune—History of her bashful Husband, Nathan Spooner—Some of his Adventures and Experiences—How he Went hungry to Please Himself, and Feasted to Please Others—How he Courted CassandraCassandra—Scenes at the Wedding—The Tea-party, and how Alzina Entertained Nathan—“The Image of his Pa”—At the Tea-table, and how Nathan Said Grace—Untimely Remarks—Samantha to the Rescue—After Supper—Alzina Walks with Cassandra in the Garden—She Slanders Josiah and Calls him a “humbly Creeter”—Samantha Appears on the Scene—A Tableau—Sarcastic Remarks about People who Take Liberties with their Friends—Alzina’s Confession—The Walk homeward | 205-229 |
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| THE LORDS OF CREATION. |
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| Josiah Is proud and tickled because he Is a Man—His Opinion of “Wimmen”—What old Error Would do if They Made the Laws, and where York State Would Be—Samantha Points out a Monument of Man’s Economy and Wisdom with Her new Tow-mop—A Reminiscence—Under the Meetin’-house Shed—Guilt Arrayed in festal Robes to Lure the Unwary | 230-240 |
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| A EXERTION FOR PLEASURE. |
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| Josiah’s new “Idee,” which Samantha Discourages—The Folly of Chasing Pleasure—Exertion to the Lake Resolved on—Caleb Sacrifices his own Pleasure for the Welfare of the Fair Sect—He Is not Their Natural Enemy, but Can’t Marry Them all—Preparations—Early to Bed—Visitors, and a Conference Meetin’—“Galluses and Night Caps”—A Wild Night—Dreams—Josiah Wears T. Jefferson’s Uniform—The Start—Arrival at the Lake—How Twenty Old Fools “Sot Sail”—Overboard—Sea-sick and weak as Cats—On the Sand-Beach—Demoralized Vittles—Wasps and Muskeeters—Histing an Umbrell—Josiah Meets with Two Accidents, and Retires to Meditate—A
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