(Samantha’s parlor, books, easy chairs, pictures, a high backed rocker covered with cretonne, placed so its occupant can see through the open door into the kitchen. Samantha is dressed in dark gingham with white collar and cuffs and white bib apron, she is arranging some books on the table and talking to herself.)

Samantha. Josiah wants the Rose Act and he shall have it, I don’t know exactly how to perform it without rules. I know roses blow out, but it can’t be men want that, they’re deadly opposed to their pardners talkin’ on duty, which they call “blowin’ round.” (She steps forward in front of rocker and looks thoughtful). I guess it means to keep still and look pretty. (Looks up satisfied). I will try faithful to do it right, I’m always very thorough in anything I undertake. I believe that to allure and charm I must be in a settin’ poster. (Sits down in rocker). I believe I ort to clasp my hands in a easy, graceful attitude. (Clasps her hands across her waist). And to look winsome I must smile some. (Smiles a good deal).

(Josiah enters kitchen with his basin of wagon grease in his hand. He glances at the churn and says). Gracious heavens! hain’t that butter finished? Nor the tea-kettle on at half-past leven! (Glances into the parlor). What is the matter? (Steps inside of door). What is the matter, Samantha?

Samantha. (Smiles sweetly. Josiah yells). Why in the name of the gracious Peter hain’t dinner under way?

(Samantha smiles).

Josiah. (Steps close to her). What are you tryin’ to do anyway, Samantha?

Samantha. (Calmly and firmly). I’m bein’ winsome, Josiah, and tryin’ to allure and charm.

Josiah. You’re bein’ a gol-darned fool, that’s what you’re a-bein’!

Samantha. (Smiling, murmurs gently). Sweet pet!

Josiah. (Stamps his feet in anger and yells). Sweet pet! Dum foolishness! I shall lose the chance to sell that butter! And I’m starved!!! (Flings himself around). Twenty-four hours since I eat a mouful!

Samantha. (Sweetly). Men are made to work for wimmen, dearest one. Them angels hain’t made for work, or votin’, or any other hardship. (Sweetly and smilingly). The cream is all ready for you to finish churnin’. The chicken to brile is in the store-room, the potatoes and vegetables in the suller. (Stops talking to give him three or four full smiles). The mop is hangin’ up behind the back door, the stove brush and blackin’ in the suller-way, and the lamp-chimney cleaner is hangin’ over the kitchen sink.

(Josiah had stood as if dumb foundered, now he yelled as he straightened up.) Dum it all! What are you goin’ to do?

Samantha. I’m goin’ to charm and allure you, dear Josiah; wimmen are made to charm men, they should do nothin’ important.

(Josiah drops into a chair, his arms hanging down at his side in a despairing way and stares at her.)

Samantha. A clean house is important, therefore I will not clean. Eatin’ is important therefore I will not cook, I will emulate the rose in its wisdom, I will charm and be silent. (She leans back in a luxurious attitude and smiles a good deal at him).

Josiah. (Rising). Are you a consarned lunatick? Or what duz ail you? (Puts on his glasses and looks closely at her. His angry looks changes to one of deep anxiety and alarm. With his eye on her all the time he edges off and reaches for the camphor bottle on a mantle in the kitchen, takes it in one hand and then reaches for the soap stone on the kitchen stove and carries it back in a scared fashion. He asks low and appealingly). Don’t you want your back rubbed, Samantha? Where is your worst pain? (He lays down the soap stun within easy reach on the table and steps cautiously near). Won’t camfire relieve you? Shall I go after Miss Gowdey or the doctor? (Steps to one side and looks round as if uncertain what to do). Don’t you want your feet soaked? (Glancin’ towards the kitchen).

Samantha. (Straightens up). Josiah Allen, I don’t want soap stuns or camfire, I want reason and common sense in a pardner, that’s what I want to relieve me. I have tried faithful to foller the rules you read this mornin’. You said you loved the man that wrote ’em and if I would only foller ’em you would be the happiest man in Jonesville or the world. I have follered ’em for about twenty minutes and it has reduced you to the condition of a lunatick. If twenty minutes has brung you to this state, what would hours and days of it do and years? Now it has made you lose your morals, tear round, use wicked language, break your word to your grocer, and act. Now if you have had enough of allurin’ and charmin’ say so and I’ll stop it.

Josiah. (Moved uneasily around while she was speaking and then said). Oh dum the piece! and dum the feller that wrote it!

Samantha. (Leans back, clasps her hands and smiles, Josiah stamps on the floor and kicks, Samantha smiles sweetly and murmurs). Sweet, darling he-angel!

(Josiah runs his fingers through his hair till it stands on end, stamps, kicks the boot-jack across the floor and loosens a panel in the clothes press door. His anger seems to have spent itself in this, for he turns to her and says mournfully). I haven’t had a mouful to eat for forty-eight hours. (Putting his hand to his head as if in despair for a minute or two, then lifting his head he says). Dear Samantha, I’ve had enough of the Rose Act, and I’m willin’ to have you vote, I want you to, I’ll carry you to the pole myself and swear you in if I go to jail the next minute.

Samantha. (Getting up and going towards the kitchen). Be megum, Josiah, don’t go too fast.

Josiah. I tell you Samantha, I’ve had enough allurin’ and charmin’ to last me through a long life, now I want some meat vittles, and I want ’em quick!