Of all the troublesome matters that have to be passed upon and decided by the Head of the Post-Office Department, the settlement of controversies involving the location of small post-offices, is undoubtedly the most perplexing, and difficult of adjustment.

By such cases we are forcibly reminded of attempts which we have witnessed in our younger days, to soothe the troubled breasts of an angry swarm of bees, destitute of a queen, and uncertain where to "locate." Whoever tried to settle the question before they settled, was pretty sure to get well stung for his pains.

The difficulty above referred to arises from the conflicting, contradictory representations made to the Department by interested parties, governed by as great a variety of motives as the number of individual whims and interests depending upon the settlement of the "vexed question." Notwithstanding the voluminous documents and geographical information usually tendered in these cases, those with whom the final decision rests, often find themselves perplexed beyond measure, to know what is for the true interests of a majority of the citizens—that being the only object aimed at by the Department—and deem it necessary, occasionally, to refer the subject to a Special Agent, with instructions to visit the neighborhood, make a personal inspection of the different sites proposed, and decide, if possible, what the public interest and convenience demand.

In some instances, where the emoluments of the office itself would not exceed the sum of fifty dollars annually, and where its entire abolishment would not prove any serious inconvenience, a whole neighborhood has been thrown into the most intense excitement, and feuds and animosities have been engendered which the parties concerned will perhaps carry with them to the grave.

But, like numerous other phases of post-office life, they furnish many admirable and instructive illustrations of human nature as it is.

During his experience, the writer has himself been frequently charged with the duty of becoming the medium for the settlement of local disputes such as have been alluded to; and a difficult and unpleasant duty has he often found it, though a better school for studying the selfishness and other hard points of the human character, cannot be desired.

But the Government official who is sent to ascertain the truth in one of these post-office disputes, will sometimes find himself about as much embarrassed as have been his superiors, and unless he is well posted up in the shrewd dodges and ingenious appliances that he will have to encounter, will find it quite as troublesome to give an impartial and just recommendation. Decide satisfactorily he cannot of course, for those whose ends are not answered are not only sure to grumble, but to charge all sorts of unfairness upon him in conducting the investigation.

The town of M., situated somewhere East of a line drawn across the map, from New York city to Whitehall, N. Y., but out of the State of New York, was recently the scene of one of these hotly contested controversies; and it is proposed to give an outline of the investigation, as it stands sketched among the author's official notes, under the head of a "Hard Case," with, of course, some additional comments and illustrations.

In extent of territory, the town referred to is about six miles square, and contains three small villages, one comparatively new, having sprung up at the rail road depÔt near the West line of the town. The second, about two miles to the Eastward of this; and the third, about two miles still further to the East.

Village number two, in the order in which they have just been mentioned, had for many years been the site of the only post-office in the town, and continued in the uninterrupted enjoyment of this monopoly until the office became vacant by the death of the post master. This was the signal for a movement for some time privately contemplated and discussed within a limited circle composed of a few of the knowing ones residing in villages numbers one and three, which movement involved nothing less than the establishment of a post-office at each of those points, and the abolishment of the old established one at village number two.

A petition to that effect was hastily drawn up and circulated chiefly among those whose interests in the plan sought, would be apt to secure secrecy, due care being taken to say quite as much in favor of the new sites and against the old one, as the facts in the case would warrant. This petition was dispatched to Washington in charge of an influential person, whose hot haste for immediate action was rendered tolerably reasonable by the fact, that the decease of the post master left the community without any appointed guardian of its postal interests.

A fair case having been made out according to the meagre information before the Department, and the aforesaid bearer of dispatches not hesitating to supply verbally what seemed to be lacking in other forms, with one fell swoop of the pen of the Post Master General, the glory departed from village number two to its more fortunate rivals, numbers one and three; and by the same trifling operation, two very competent and suitable individuals were promoted from the condition of private and unassuming citizenship, to the dignity and responsibilities of deputy post masters of the United States of America!

When the news of this sad calamity reached the staid and peaceable villagers, who had thus been unexpectedly deprived of their ancient postal privileges, rest assured it was no favorable time for the organization of a Peace Society! Such oil would not still these waves! Their late beloved and popular post master had become a "dead letter," though properly "addressed," as was fondly hoped, by the heavenly "Messengers" who beckoned him away from other duties, to "wrap" and "box up"—and now even the post-office itself had been prematurely "taken away" also.

Not many suns had risen and set, however, before the other side of the picture was prepared and presented at Washington, and now the ball had fairly opened, with the orchestra in full blast. A formidable remonstrance had received the signatures of all the "legal voters," and, as was charged on the other side, of many whose elective rights were not so easily settled.

The customary accusations of unfairness, improper influence, stealing a march, downright misrepresentations, &c., were called in requisition to show the Department that this "outrage" on the citizens was unwarrantable; and the important trust of conveying this evidence to the seat of Government, fell to the lot of a certain gentleman well known among political circles in that section of the country, and supposed to possess a fair share of influence with the appointing power. He repaired to Washington, made his first call at the White House, and labored hard to enlist the feelings of the Chief Executive in the case, but a few words from that distinguished official were sufficient to show that such interference in a comparatively unimportant matter could not reasonably be expected of him.

The President did however show his respect for his visitor, who happened to be an old personal friend, by escorting him down to the Department, and introducing him to the Post Master General. The Governor of the State was also in the case, the two United States Senators, and several of the members of Congress, as the files of the papers, pro and con, clearly demonstrated. Not that they felt any personal interest in the result of the controversy, but because their political relations with many of those who did, were such that they could not well resist their importunities to come up to their relief.

On patiently listening to the statements of the representative from the seat of war, and re-examining the documentary evidence, the Post Master General declined to reverse his former decision, but suggested sending one of the Department's Agents to investigate the whole matter. This course was adopted, and the responsibility thus transferred for the time being, to the shoulders of the to be author of "Ten Years."

For many days before he arrived upon the ground, the excitement both among the vanquished and the vanquishing, was at the highest pitch; information that such reference of the case had been made, having been conveyed to both parties on the return of the distinguished politician from the Capital.

Post master number one, however, could not await the slow process of that form of justice, so he dispatched a semi-official private note to me, nearly as follows, if my memory serves me:

To this I simply replied that I could not fix upon the precise day, but would call upon him on my arrival.

One lovely afternoon of a lovely day in October, the "Agent" might have been seen alighting from the car at the rail road station at M., fully impressed, of course, with the difficulty of the task before him, but with a sincere desire to carry out, if possible, the intention of Government, and to mete out equal and exact justice to all parties.

A new and flourishing-looking store, the only one by the way in the neighborhood, with a small sign over the door, with the words "Post-Office" inscribed thereon, saved me the necessity of inquiring for post-office site number one. In a few moments I found myself in the presence of the merchant and post master, who proved to be a young man of prepossessing and business-like appearance.

A few questions on my part served to apprise him of the official character of the person by whom he was addressed, and also to cause his momentary neglect of a young customer for whom he was just then engaged in answering an order for a gallon of molasses. The little damsel who was there upon the saccharine errand, regarded me with open-eyed awe, having probably heard something of the Department in the course of the all-pervading Post-Office controversies of the last few months, and cast as many stolen glances at me as her modesty would allow, thus securing a mental daguerreotype, to be displayed for the benefit of her wondering parents, after her return home with the double load of news and molasses.

In his embarrassment at my sudden arrival, the post master forgot the molasses, and in a moment quite a torrent of the thick liquid had overflowed its bounds, and formed a pool upon the floor.

"Post master," said I, "you have left your molasses running over." In his eagerness to stop the leak, he went plump into the sweet puddle, with both feet, and any time that day his tracks might have been seen all over the store.

"Never mind," said he, "accidents will happen;" at the same time drawing his feet across some waste paper upon the floor. The young customer smiled, but during the running over process, she had said not a word, for by the means she was getting "scripture measure." She handed the post master a bank-note in payment, who, still laboring under considerable excitement, made her the wrong change, doing himself out of at least half the cost of the molasses, which, together with the loss of the surplusage, made it anything but a profitable business transaction for him.

But the little girl was honest. She counted and recounted the change that had been given her, and with that peculiar expression that in one like her attends the consciousness of an honest act, she threw it all back upon the counter, remarking. "You have given me too much, sir."

The countenance of the post master gave evidence by this time of not a little mortification at the occurrence of two such awkward blunders in the presence of a dignitary all the way from Washington; and in his hurry to turn my attention from them, he forgot even to thank the child for her honest conduct, as he returned her the change "revised and corrected."

But I did not. Wishing not to cast an implied censure upon sweet-foot, I passed to the piazza of the store, to throw aside the stump of an Havana, (or a "Suffield," as the case may have been,) and unobserved by him, handed her a quarter, which she acknowledged by a blushing smile, and a low courtesy.

Returning, I missed the post master for a moment, and stepping within sight of the floor behind the counter, I could distinctly see the molasses tracks going toward a small enclosure at the other end of the counter. It proved to be the apartment used for the post-office. Stepping a little further behind the counter, I spied my new and confused acquaintance, arranging the books, letters, and papers, apparently in great haste. Seeing that I had returned to the store and now observed him, he advanced towards me a few paces.

"I usually keep things in better order in the post-office," said he, "but I was away this forenoon, and my boy has got things a little mixed up."

"Never mind that now," I replied; "I am in something of a hurry, and want to enter at once on the business upon which I came. What is all this fuss that the people of the old village are making about the new post-office arrangements? By the row they are kicking up at Washington, the Department are almost led to believe there was something unfair in the means adopted to effect the change, and that they may have erred in their decision."

This plain and informal opening of the case seemed to restore his self-possession.

"Well, they have tried to make a fuss, that's a fact, but it's more spunk than anything else. You see this is a new village, and although there are not yet many buildings, business is fast centering here, and it's bound to be the place. The folks up there have to come to the depÔt constantly, and if they only think so, can be just as well accommodated here. They hate to lose a good place to loaf in, that's all there is to it. They don't need a post-office no more than a rail road wants a guide post.

"They will tell you a great deal about their Academy, and talk big about other things. As to the Academy, it has got reduced, and most of the pupils who do attend, either belong to the upper village where they have a post-office now, or have to pass right by this door in going to school. But few of them being from abroad, they have but little correspondence any way. Then you will hear tall speechifying about a flourishing hat factory which perhaps did something once, but can hardly be said to be in operation now. I hear they claim to have three extensive stores in the village. Now if you will look for yourself, you will see two small affairs that don't both together sell half the goods that I do, and as to the third, it was closed some time ago, and if the owner went away in broad daylight, then common report does him great injustice."

After a few remarks in the same vein, in the course of which he waxed quite eloquent, he closed by offering to take me in his wagon and show me the other two villages. He had been standing quite still during the delivery of this speech, and considerable effort was required to raise his feet to go in the direction of his hat, the adhesive qualities of the syrup still holding out.

I thanked him for the offer, but said I must decline it, as I desired to avoid all cause of jealousy in my mode of investigation, and further remarked, that I would prefer to take a general view of all the localities, without the aid or explanations of any of the parties interested; and that after this had been done, I would give all hands a fair and impartial hearing.

"Very well," said he, "all we ask is fair play, but you will have to make a good deal of allowance for the extravagant statements of the leaders in the old village. I can prove that they have got democrats to sign to have the office restored, who are on our paper, and who say they were deceived when they signed theirs."

Having heard about enough of this, I had gradually moved along to the store door, when my eye rested upon a large wooden building near by, several stories high, and with an unusual number of windows, about the only building of any size in the vicinity.

"What is that?" I asked, at the same time pointing to it.

"That?—that is a shoe manufactory."

"How many hands are employed there?" I inquired.

Just then, a fine-looking, elderly gentleman, with an air which denoted that he had a right to do pretty much as he pleased, stepped upon the piazza, and was introduced to me by the post master as his father-in-law, not omitting of course to inform his respected relative that I was no less a personage than the identical gentleman expected from Washington.

"Ah," said he, "I am glad the Department has seen fit to send so competent a person to look into this business, and I hope, sir, it will be thoroughly done."

This was said in a gentlemanly, dignified manner, and he passed into the store without any further conversation. But the term "competent person," as applied to me, warned me that I should probably find it necessary to guard against "soft sodder" also, as one of the means of persuasion, and made me half suspicious that he might not be the impartial and disinterested individual that he appeared at first sight.

The suspicion was just, for I afterwards learned that he was a wealthy and enterprising whig citizen, owning a beautiful mansion and a good deal of other property in village number three, (one of the new sites,) and that he was the proprietor of a good share of the real estate at the depÔt village; and further, that he had been mainly instrumental in getting the changes effected. His personal interests in them footed up as follows: A post-office established at the village of his residence, and a post-office at the depÔt village, (where the store in which it was kept belonged to him,) and his son-in-law appointed post master! A shrewd Yankee operation that, though I could discover the adoption of no dishonorable means in securing these advantages. It was decidedly smart, though, and it isn't every body who could have successfully executed such a programme, after it had been arranged.

This interruption of the conversation between the post master and myself, came in just in time to stave off an answer to my question about the large building in view, and my friend no doubt considered that an effectual stop was put to further inquiries on that subject. But not so. Failing to discover any signs of thrift or vitality in or about the huge edifice referred to, I now repeated the inquiry.

"I was asking how many persons are employed in that shoe factory?"

Before I had fairly finished the sentence, however, he had darted into the store and returned with two Havanas, (?) saying. "Come, have a smoke, and let's walk over and take a look at the saw mill," which by the way happened to be in an opposite direction from the aforesaid shoe establishment.

I consented, however. The mill was in operation, and the stream, such as it was, kept up a pretty respectable roar, though you could hear yourself converse, I noticed, quite as easily as by the side of old Niagara just after a smart shower!

Feeling somewhat humorously inclined, owing to his persevering evasion of my researches as to the boot and shoe enterprise, I remarked as we stood observing the perpendicular thrusts of the saw through a submissive-looking log, "This is the boarding house spoken of in your post-office petitions, isn't it?"

He did not "take," however, but gravely replied that they had turned out stacks of boards since the mill was started, and that they had thought of keeping it running nights as well as days.

As I could conceive of no very direct connection between a saw mill and a post-office, and not caring to have too much saw dust thrown in my eyes, nor to countenance any log-rolling operation, I moved off toward the store again. But not a word was volunteered about the "factory," so I marched straight over to it, and trying one of the main doors, found it all fast as I had suspected. I was about to repeat the attempt at another part of the building, but the post master had now arrived on the ground, and his reluctant explanation saved me further trouble on that head at least.

"Owing to the hard times, it is not occupied now, but until lately it has employed some thirty or forty hands. They'll get agoing again soon, and intend to employ some eighty workmen. The suspension is only temporary."

"Worse off than the hat factory of which you spoke, at the other village," I observed. He made no reply.

Finding I could obtain no independent conveyance by which to make the tour of observation through the other parts of the town, I accepted the offer of a young man who drove up to the store very opportunely, to whom the idea was suggested by the post master, and who, it was hinted, was in no way identified with this vexatious dispute.

During the first mile or so of our ride his neutrality seemed well sustained, but it began rapidly to disappear as we came in sight of the village which had been bereft of its post-office as well as its post master, his answers to my questions betraying a decided bias toward the "let well enough alone" policy as applicable in this case.

I did not propose to stop there at this time, but to pass through to the upper village,—but my suspicions that I had after all committed myself to the temporary keeping of one of the friends of the new sites, were fully confirmed when I found him taking a narrow by-way through the old settlement, poorly calculated to show off the place to much advantage.

"Look here," said I, "don't go through this hollow, but take a turn round by those spires, and let me see what they have got to brag about."

Coming to a halt, and backing round in a somewhat spiteful manner, during which manoeuvre we came near upsetting, he soon came upon the route indicated.

Whether from a conviction that there was no use in trying to cheat me any longer, or from the study requisite for the invention of some new system of tactics likely to be more successful, he said but little more during the rest of our ride.

I subsequently ascertained that he and the scheme of getting two post-offices for one, rejoiced in one and the same paternity, or in other words, that his mother was the wife of the enterprising and wealthy gentleman before mentioned, and like a good and dutiful son, he "went in" for whatever favored the "old man's" interest.

Passing through one of the main streets of the middle or post-officeless village, I observed standing in front of a respectable, ancient-appearing mansion, a solemn-looking hearse, and a large number of other vehicles, indicating that funeral services were being performed within, and through the open windows and doors I could see the friends and mourners.

"A funeral, I perceive," said I to my companion.

A sullenly emphasized "yes," was all the notice vouchsafed to my remark.

"A fine-looking lot of horses collected here," I continued.

"Yes, pretty fair," he rejoined, without, however, withdrawing his attention from a large fly which was annoying our animal, and at the same time proving himself anything but an expert marksman by his repeated unsuccessful attempts to annihilate the insect with the lash of his whip.

"This accounts for my seeing so few persons in the streets." I remarked. "They must be attending the funeral."

"I suppose so," he answered, at the same instant striking the unlucky fly dead, which neither he nor bob-tail had before succeeded in choking off.

A quarter of an hour more found us at village number three, pleasantly situated upon elevated ground, and consisting of an old-fashioned country church, the fine establishment of the wealthy pioneer in this post-office enterprise, already referred to, a store, and a few other buildings.

The solitary merchant here was also the newly-appointed post master, a very worthy man from all appearances, though of course deeply impressed with the idea that the "balance of power" should not be disturbed by a discontinuance of the recently established office, and the restoration of the old one on its former site. And it appeared very clear that he had done all in his power to make the inconvenience of the late change fall as lightly as possible upon those more directly interested, for he had arranged to extend every accommodation in his power, and among other things to post a list of all the letters for distant sections of the town, upon the "meeting-house" door every Sabbath, and to keep his office open "between meetings," for the delivery of all mail matter which should be called for.

His brief history, as related by himself, brought to light the fact that he had served the Government as post master many years before, having originally been appointed, as he said, by "old Hickory" himself.

During half an hour's conversation, the information furnished at this point was generally of a candid and impartial character, though the explanations regarding a defunct bank, the remains of which stood within a stone's throw of the post-office, proved the most troublesome subject that was talked over. The expiration of its charter, if I mistake not, was given as the reason for its closed doors.

The measured tolling of the church bell attracted my attention. The funeral procession from the other village had reached the hill and was just entering the burial-ground, through the church-yard, and after a short interval passed out again on its return.

Having now obtained all the information I could in that quarter, I suggested to my escort that I was ready to move, and we were soon on our way back. About half way to the middle village, we came up with the procession, and followed along at a slow pace, in fact forming a part of the solemn cortege.

It had somehow leaked out that the "Post-Office Agent" was there, and along the whole line, hats and even bonnets could be seen projecting from the sides of such of the carriages as were provided with coverings. Compared with the post-office question, the grave was nowhere, and funerals were at a discount. Some of the most interested happened to be in the nearest vehicles to us, and when they discovered who my companion was, a number of the animals were suddenly relieved of a good share of their burthen. Several of the deserters fell in the rear, and without waiting for a formal introduction, began to discourse eloquently upon the subject of their post office grievances. I assured them that I would spend the night at the hotel in their village, where I would be happy to

meet them and their friends, for the purpose of inquiry and investigation.

Many a head of a family, I think, was missed that evening from the tea tables, for although it was about the usual hour of that repast when I reached the hotel, the citizens came flocking in in great numbers, and filling the spacious audience room which the landlord had hastily prepared on hearing of my approach, to its utmost capacity, and even before I was fairly seated.

Most of them being still in the same dress in which they had attended the funeral ceremonies, the "customary suit of solemn black," they were about as well-looking a set of men as you will often see in country or city. A more excited and anxious group of faces, I am sure was never seen in a council of war on the eve of a great and decisive battle. Nor will I attempt to assert that I was wholly free from anxiety as to how I should acquit myself before this august assembly, as the representative and embodiment of the Government, on this trying occasion.

The scene, however, considered in reference to the real importance of the interests at stake, was richly ludicrous. I felt that the dignity of the Post-Office Department was for a time committed to my keeping, and I flatter myself that I succeeded admirably in sustaining it, though it required occasionally not a little effort.

One of the gentlemen whose acquaintance I had informally made in the rear of the funeral procession, did the honors in the way of introducing me to each of those who had assembled, and to such as came in in the course of that ever-to-be remembered evening—I should have said night, for it was not far from daylight, when I had listened to the last eloquent appeal in behalf of restoring to them their lost rights and privileges.

The whole thing was conducted in a way which, for parliamentary order and decorum, would have put to the blush the lower House of Congress near the close of the session; and I am not quite sure that the upper branch of that Honorable body, with an exciting subject in hand, could not have derived some useful hints from the manner in which business was there enacted.

The room, which I understand was soon after christened and is now known as "Restoration Hall," was about twenty-five feet by thirty, and for most of the time during this eventful meeting, I chanced to occupy the only rocking chair therein, at one side of the room facing the door. Considering that most of the company were my seniors by several years, that was hardly polite; but after several times insisting in vain that some one else should take the post of honor, I settled down without further misgivings.

Never did I so heartily regret my ignorance of the art of stenography as now; for a verbatim report of all that was here said, would prove the richest and most amusing part of this narrative.

After some general and desultory conversation, and considerable manoeuvring as to who should lead off, the responsible task fell upon a somewhat venerable and prominent citizen, who, as I perceived from his "opening," had enjoyed the honor of representing the town in the lower House, as well as the Senate of the State. This gentleman's indignation was so intense at the "shabby treatment" of the Government, that at first he seemed to question the propriety of condescending to enter into any argument or formal statement in support of a speedy restoration of the post-office.

"I feel myself mortified and humbled," said he, "that anything more should be required in this case in securing us justice, than a mere glance at this assemblage, which, leaving out the speaker, cannot be surpassed in respectability and intelligence, by any which could be so readily convened in any community."

(A general sensation, and a modest assent all round, so far as looks could indicate it.)

"You have before you, sir," continued he, "professional men—men who have devoted all their lives to the training and education of youth,—farmers, mechanics, and merchants,—all of them, sir, men who know their rights, and knowing dare maintain them, sir. Many of them, and I for one, sir, differ with the Administration in politics; but I take it, sir, that has nothing to do with the settlement of this business. Our Government will have arrived at a pretty pass, indeed, when it makes a distinction between a whig or locofoco community, in the granting of mail facilities."

The term "locofoco" proved for a moment a slight firebrand in the camp—a six foot, plain farmer-looking individual, who had not I think attended the funeral, and who, like the brave Putnam, had left his plough in the furrow, on hearing of a chance to fight—starting to his feet and interrupting the speaker,—

"Your Honor," said he, "I hope my whig friend, if he must speak of politics, will consent to call democrats by their right names. What would he say if I should apply the term 'federalists' to his side of the house?"

The first speaker was evidently preparing for a broadside in return for this interruption, but it was averted at once by the assurance volunteered on my part, that the question of politics would have nothing to do with this one; and that no harm was probably intended by the use of the objectionable designation; whereupon our agricultural friend quietly resumed his seat, his blood seemingly several degrees cooler than when he left it.

"You're right, sir, no harm was intended," good-naturedly responded the pioneer orator. "It came so natural to say locofoco, that I hardly noticed it myself. We all have one common object here, and the fact that neighbour B. is the only loco—I beg pardon—democrat, who happens to be present, should have suggested to me greater allowance for his sensitive feelings."

There was a general laugh at the expense of our lone representative of the democracy, and the discussion resumed its more legitimate channel.

At a later period, a careful canvassing would have shown quite a respectable sprinkling of the political friends of the gentleman who took exceptions as above stated; and I have always mistrusted that he managed in some way to procure their special attendance, being evidently a little chagrined at the accidental exposure of the very meagre representation of his party at the commencement.

The gentleman having the floor proceeded:—

"I am satisfied the Post Master General would never have decided as he has, if he had waited for further information. And the indecent haste with which certain men acted in this matter, is a downright shame and disgrace. I doubt not, from what I can learn, that they had their petitions secretly circulating, as soon as the sickness of our late post master became known. Would to God he had lived to defeat their selfish and illiberal schemes! But an overruling Providence ordered it otherwise, doubtless for the accomplishment of some wise purpose!

"We are prepared to show you, sir, by the figures, (though we have seen that, in the hands of unprincipled men, figures will sometimes lie,) that three-fourths of the mail matter for the town belongs to persons of this village, who, by this wicked movement, are obliged to send a distance of two miles for their letters and papers."

Here was a strong statement, exhibiting a greater difference in the business and correspondence of the three villages than even the papers on the official files of the Department had claimed. I was therefore disposed to call for the proof, if it could be had, before proceeding further.

"Is there any way of getting at what you have just stated as a fact?" I inquired.

They were not to be caught napping, for the "Committee on Statistics" was on the spot, to meet any such exigencies that might arise.

A slight nod of the gentleman's head toward the corner of the room was promptly responded to by one of the company, whom I had observed listening more intently, if possible, than the rest, to the opening address.

He might be described as a gentleman about forty years of age, with sharp features, and withal as active and keen-looking a body as you will often come across. With a smile, and an air of self-reliance, he drew from his hat a bundle of papers of different shapes, from an inch wide to a full sheet of large size "cap," and, coming to the table, placed them upon it. A moment's search, during which not a word was spoken, produced the desired voucher, which was to confirm the truth of the three-fourths assertion. It proved to be a certificate signed by the assistant of the late post master, setting forth that, in his opinion, only about one-quarter of all the letters arriving at that office, during the last three months of its existence, went outside of a circle of one mile.

The ex-assistant himself, being present, was appealed to, but although he was willing, in general terms, to re-affirm what he had put upon paper, yet he failed to furnish any very satisfactory data upon which the calculation had been made. It was so much at variance with the allegations contained in the petitions for the new sites, that the impression could not be resisted that there had been truth-stretching somewhere.

"Should the office be re-established here," said I to the ex-assistant, "can the Department rely on the benefit of your experience in its future management, as post master?"

My object of course was to fathom, if possible, the depth of any personal interest he might have had in making the certificate referred to.

"Well, sir, as to that," he answered, his face a little flushed. "I hardly think I could attend to it; and besides, I may go to the West in the Spring, if not before."

My unexpected inquiry as to a suitable candidate for the office, produced a marked sensation. I observed that it had especially disconcerted the "Committee on Statistics;" why it did so the reader will learn in due time.

Apologizing to the gentleman whose speech had thus been interrupted, he resumed, but in a few moments came to an abrupt close on the arrival of two young gentlemen, both residing near village number three, and therefore, except to a few, supposed to have come as spies and reporters. A short consultation, in which I took no part, showed that they were, as I inferred, all right on the main question, notwithstanding their location. They were brothers.

If the actors in this scene had been engaged in a play upon the stage, these two new characters could not have been introduced in a more artistic or timely manner. What they had to offer was prefaced by a few words from the gentleman who had just terminated his formal discourse, informing me that they had magnanimously volunteered to come here and throw their mite into the scale, on the side of truth and right, and that private interest, even, could not blind them to the great injustice that had been perpetrated.

Their own testimony was very brief, and so was their stay, for, believing I had seen their names on one of the petitions asking for just what had been done, I unlocked my carpetbag, and on referring to one of the original papers which for the time being had been placed in my hands, I there found both their signatures, quite conspicuous among the petitioners!

And I felt bound to give others a sight of them, too, if for no other reason, to impart to the "injured" members of that community a slight knowledge of some of the difficulties which the Post Master General and his Assistant often have to encounter in these and similar cases. It was all news to those present excepting to the two "magnanimous" gentlemen interested. They had doubtless supposed that the evidence of their double-dealing was very quietly sleeping in one of the snug and obscure pigeon-holes of the Appointment Office.

On coming into the room again, after a quarter of an hour's absence at the supper table, I missed these two generous volunteers, and understood they left very soon after I withdrew. Their inconsistent course was afterwards explained to me in this wise: After they had signed for the change, and the papers had gone to Washington, it came out that the three Select-men of the town had united in a letter to the Department, on the same side of the question, all three of them happening to live nearer the new sites than the old one; and the brothers having become involved in a somewhat bitter quarrel with one of those officials, had determined to get on the opposite side, in the post-office struggle, and defeat their wishes if possible.

Among the speakers was the Principal of the Academy before alluded to; a very intelligent gentleman, and one of dignified appearance. His observations related mainly to the inconveniences resulting to the members of that institution from the want of a post-office. After he had concluded his remarks, I inquired.

"What is the present number of your pupils?"

Upon this, some one suggested obtaining a printed catalogue, and the "Committee on Statistics" forthwith disappeared in search of the required pamphlet. The zeal and efficiency of this gentleman may have had no connection with his desire to fill the office of post master, should the office be re-established. The reader will judge of this when he learns who was finally selected for that position.

After a few moments' absence, he returned with a copy of the catalogue.

Observing that it was for a previous term, I asked whether there were as many pupils now as at that time.

"The school is not quite as large at present," said the Principal; "but we expect even a larger number of pupils at the beginning of the next term."

The hint furnished me (as the reader will remember) by my official friend of molasses memory, in respect to the residences of the pupils, happening to occur to my mind, I ran my eye over the column containing that information, and found that, with few exceptions, they belonged in town. Consequently, unless they carried on a more extensive correspondence than is usual for such youth, the argument maintained by the Principal would lose much of its force. I made no allusion, however, to this discovery, and he soon closed his remarks, expressing the hope that the loud complaints of the distant (?) parents and guardians of the young ladies and gentlemen under his charge would soon be effectually hushed by the restoration of their former excellent mail facilities!

A few of those wise words, which, as Solomon assures us, are "as nails fastened by the masters of assemblies," were driven, in conclusion, by farmer G., who, as a person sitting near me whispered, was a Justice of the Peace. His remarks were characterized by much good sense, but an untoward circumstance occurred as he concluded, which interfered with the gravity of the proceedings as well as with his own centre of gravity. As the closing passage of his peroration fell from his lips, he also fell at the same instant!

There was a scarcity of seats upon the present occasion, and our oratorical friend had no sooner risen for the purpose of "pouring the persuasive strain," than his chair was appropriated by a fatigued neighbor, who "squatted" on the vacant territory, regardless of "pre-emption" or pre-session.

Unconscious of this furtive proceeding, Mr. G. went on with his remarks, and closed with the following sentence:—

"In conclusion, sir, I should like to know whether the people of this village are to be put down in this way?"—at the same time attempting to resume the seat he had vacated, in the full belief that it was still where he had left it. As facts did not bear him out in this opinion, he was obliged to yield to the force of circumstances, and had gained such a backward impetus before he discovered the treachery of his friend, that he descended to the floor with as much emphasis as two hundred pounds of bone and muscle are capable of producing under similar circumstances!

The illustration of his remarks was perfect. He thought that the inhabitants of the village were to be "put down" in an underhanded manner. Whether they were to rise again as rapidly as did he, remains to be seen.

"That strain again; it had a dying fall,"

thought I after the orator descended so suddenly from his rhetorical and personal elevation.

Business was for the moment swallowed up in a roar of laughter, to which the ex-Senator, the dignified Principal, the energetic dealer in Statistics, and the Agent, contributed; and even the fallen speaker, whose title to the floor no one was inclined to dispute, joined in the chorus.

The person who had caused this catastrophe, apologized to Mr. G. by remarking, "You got through quicker than I'd any idee of."

"Or I either," dryly returned Mr. G., brushing the dust from his inexpressibles.

This occurrence seemed the signal for adjournment, and all retired in good spirits, thanks to the gentleman who had thus, in spite of himself, been made the instrument of producing such a pleasant state of feeling.

A sort of informal levee was held on the following morning, when all the forcible things bearing on the subject in hand were said which had been forgotten at the meeting of the night previous, or were the result of after cogitations.

As the time drew near for leaving, I called upon the landlord for my bill.

"Oh, that's all settled," said he.

"Settled? by whom, pray?" I asked.

"Why, they told me not to take anything from you, as they would make it all right," he replied.

I called the attention of the landlord to the impropriety of such a course under the circumstances, since in the event of the restoration of the office to that village, it might be said, "Oh, it's easy enough to see how that happened. They knew what they were about when they paid the Agents' hotel bill."

For such reasons I declined the courtesy, and insisted on paying the bill myself. The landlord finally yielded, remarking, "they won't like it when they find out that their directions were not followed."

Soon after, the stage arrived at the door of the hotel from a neighboring town, on its way to the rail road depÔt, and this was to be my conveyance to that place. I took leave of such of the gentlemen as were standing about the piazza, and mounted to the seat upon the top of the stage, behind and above the driver's station. To this elevated position I was unexpectedly followed by the "Committee on Statistics," and another person whom I had not seen before. This move on the part of the former gentleman was probably made not only to secure my ear during the passage to the depÔt, but to prevent the post master there from gaining any advantage over him in the time which would elapse between the arrival of the stage and the departure of the cars.

Being placed, like men in general, between the known and unknown,—the "Committee" on one side, and the stranger on the other, my attention, soon after we had started, was attracted to the former individual by sundry punches in the ribs, proceeding from his elbow, accompanied with ominous winks and glances towards my other companion, who was just then conversing with the driver.

"Look out what you say," whispered the vigilant Committee, "that fellow is a spy; he is one of the DepÔt boys."

"All right," I replied, in all sincerity, for I was not sorry to find that my friend would be prevented by the presence of the "spy" from executing the design which he undoubtedly had, of catechizing me in reference to the report I should make to the Department.

Arriving at the station, I crossed over to the post-office, and there remained until the whistle of the locomotive was heard.

"Well, good bye, Mr. W——," said I to the post master, offering my hand.

"I think," said he, "that I will ride a little way with you, as far at least as the next station."

He accompanied me across to the depot, and as we stepped upon the platform of a car, we were followed by the "Committee" and one of his most interested friends, who had come over in the stage with us, an inside passenger.

These gentlemen were evidently bent on thwarting the plans of my saccharine associate, but he had in an important particular greatly the advantage over them, for, by virtue of his office, he was allowed the privilege of riding in the mail car, to which we at once proceeded, leaving our disappointed friends in the outer world, among the undistinguished crowd whom the conductor indiscriminately calls upon for "your money or your ticket."

My companion and his opponents alighted at the next station, to wait for the return train, and as the cars moved on, I observed that they were conversing together, the countenance of the former displaying a radiant appearance of satisfaction which plainly showed his triumphant state of mind.

I have no means of knowing what passed between them on their return, but it is altogether probable that the "Committee" and his friend employed the time in "pumping" or attempting to pump their associate, unless he took refuge in the mail car.

The investigation resulted in restoring the post-office to the center village, and in discontinuing the two others.

The reader will be pleased to learn that the "Committee on Statistics" received the appointment of post master.