One of the coolest and at the same time silliest pieces of post-office rascality that I have ever known, occurred a few years since in Rhode Island.

A small draft from the Post-Office Department having been presented by a mail contractor to the post master of P., payment was refused, on the ground that the office had been abolished some time before, and that there was little or nothing due the Department. No time was lost by the contractor in apprising the proper officer at Washington, of the non-payment of the draft, and the reason assigned therefore; when reference was at once made to the official records. They, however, failed to show the discontinuance of the office.

Here was a mysterious and singular affair, and a letter was accordingly despatched to the seemingly delinquent post master, requiring an explanation of his course. A reply to this was very promptly sent to the Department, to the effect that some months previous he had received from the Appointment Office formal notice that his office had been discontinued, accompanied by an order to hand over all the mail matter remaining on hand, together with the mail key, and other property of the Department, to a neighboring post master, and that he had of course answered the demand.

A re-examination of the books still showing the office to be a "live one," he was written to, and directed to forward the original document upon the authority of which he had shut up his office. The papers were duly forwarded, and sure enough, there was the "Order," signed with the name of the Second Assistant Post Master General, who was then at the head of the Appointment Office. It read as follows:—

Although a tolerably fair imitation of that officer's hand-writing, it was at once pronounced a forgery. My services, as Special Agent, were called into requisition, and all the facts, as they then stood, communicated to me. As speedily as possible I visited the scene of this perplexing and extraordinary official mystery. Arriving at the site of the late post-office, I found its former incumbent to be a highly respectable merchant, well advanced in years, and blessed with one of those countenances which, to a person at all accustomed to study character in that way, at once dispels all doubt and distrust. He was of Dutch descent, and, while intelligent on general subjects, was poorly "posted" in the arts and devices of cunning knaves. From him I received a full statement of the shutting up process, and obtained some additional facts, which afterwards furnished me with a clue to the whole mystery.

On one of the last days of March, Mr. G——, post master at another village in the same town, called on him in company with one of his friends, and presented what purported to be a copy of an order from the Department, directing him to close the office, and to give up the property in the manner already described. Of course the post master felt and manifested no little surprise, for the office had been established but about a year, and he had heard of no application or desire in any quarter for such a proceeding.

"It is all right, I suppose," said he, after carefully examining the "copy" which had been handed him without a word of explanation; "but I think, before I hand over the property. I ought to have the original order."

"Oh yes, it's all correct," responded the witness (who had seen the copy made from the spurious order, supposing that to be genuine); "I saw it compared with the original myself, and it's a true copy."

"But the quarter will not be ended till to-morrow," remarked the astonished official; "and, on the whole, I think I must refuse compliance, unless the original instructions are placed in my hands."

"Then I understand you as refusing to obey the order of the Department, do I?" said the applicant.

"Not at all," was the mild response; "l am perfectly ready to comply when I see the written command over the signature of the proper officer of the Department. It can be but little trouble to produce that, and I think, under the same circumstances, you would demand as much yourself."

"But do I not bring a reliable witness to prove that this is an exact copy of the original?" asked the visitor, impatiently.

"True, but my request is reasonable, and I think I will adhere to it," he replied; and the gentleman, with his companion, left the premises, simply remarking, "You will hear from me again, to-morrow." And sure enough, he did.

Towards sun-down on the following day, the abolisher of post-offices made his appearance, and, with an air of authority, without uttering a word, threw the extinguishing document upon the counter. The post master took it up, and after adjusting his spectacles, examined first the outside. It had the usual printed endorsement on the right hand upper corner. "Post-Office Department, Official Business," was properly franked by the Second Assistant, post-marked "Washington," and plainly addressed to the "Post Master, M——, R. I."

On withdrawing the letter from its covering, it had, sure enough, every appearance of genuineness, and no doubt remained that it was the official action of the Department. The post-office effects were accordingly put in shape as hastily as possible, and handed over. But

"The course of knavery never did run smooth."

Strong suspicions began to arise that the neighboring post master, before mentioned, was the author of the whole transaction, and when the knowledge of a motive on his part was supplied, his guilt became to my mind clear and positive.

It appeared that at the time of the establishment of the now defunct post-office, there was a tremendous opposition, in which he took an active and leading part, but the member of Congress for that District favored the application for the new office, and it was finally granted. Being but two miles from the old establishment, there was, as had been anticipated, a considerable falling off in the receipts of the latter. The snake was "scotched, not killed," or in other words, post master number one had bottled up his wrath, and was biding his time. The affair had now become with him a matter of pride as well as interest, and when joked, as he frequently was, about his defeat in the post-office contest, he was often heard to say that the new post-office was "short-lived any way."

He was quite an active, prominent politician, and when a new nomination for Congress was to be made, he thought he saw his way clear. He struggled hard for the selection of a personal friend, and succeeded, not only in the nomination, but in the election. But when the pinch came, the Honorable member failed him, and could not be persuaded to take the responsibility, for the new post-office had proved really a great convenience to many of his constituents and to some of his friends, personal and political.

With the advantage of this information obtained from the ex-post master and one or two other citizens of that vicinity, I proceeded to visit the office which at one gulp had swallowed up the other, without apparent injury to its digestive organs. The post master was absent, and the office in charge of his wife. This was a piece of good luck, for it would enable me to examine the books and papers to greater advantage, and what was better, to interrogate the lady and her lesser half separately. Two or three points were very important.

Might not some wicked wag in the Department, knowing all the circumstances of the case, have prepared the letter in question, and sent it as a hoax? This could be easily settled by referring to the account of mails received, for the record in that event should show the receipt of a free letter, either direct from Washington, or from the Distribution office at New York. Then another test, was a comparison of the "order," with the hand-writing of the post master. But the most troublesome point of all to reconcile, was, how the official envelope had been obtained, for that was beyond a doubt genuine.

Introducing myself to the lady assistant, who happened to be alone in the office, I remarked,—

"I am in pursuit of a letter which should have come here from New York in March last, and I wish to see if your New York packages, during that month, were all regularly received. Where do you keep your transcripts, the books, or sheets, you know, upon which you copy your post-bills?"

They were taken from a desk and laid before me. Turning to the record of the month in question, not a single free letter was entered as received at that office for the last two weeks in March, from any quarter!

"Who made the entries in this book?" I inquired. "My husband," was the prompt answer.

Having the general style of the "order" in my mind, I glanced over a few pages of the book, and observed several peculiarities in the formation of some of the capital letters which I had noticed in the (to this time) fatherless document. It was written in bluish ink, and so were the pages of the records made at about the same time,—a trifling circumstance to be sure, but yet a link in the chain of evidence. The wafer too, used in sealing, was strikingly similar in size and shade to those contained in a large box upon the desk. The "order" was on a half sheet of letter paper of different size and stamp from the wrapper enclosing it.

It now remained to establish some reasonable theory to account for his possession of a genuine official envelope. Some farther reflection supplied that theory which in the sequel proved to be the correct one. The date of the Washington post-mark I had before noticed, was very indistinct, in fact could not be made out, although the word "Washington" and "March" were tolerably plain. At that time the present style of envelopes were not much in use by the Department.

Could it not be an old wrapper, or the "fly leaf" of some former official document from head quarters? This idea was certainly favored by the fact that on one side it presented a ragged appearance as if torn from another half sheet; and if its fellow could be found on the premises, the two parts must necessarily fit together, and conclusively show that a branch of the Appointment office had really been temporarily established without authority of law, not far from that locality.

It was now late in the afternoon, and the post master still absent, though momentarily expected home. An invitation to take tea with the good lady, was the more readily accepted, from a desire to prevent any comparing of notes between them with respect to the inquiries and examination already made. At the table I ventured, for the first time, to broach the subject of the "stoppage" affair.

"I believe the last time I passed over this route, you had two post-offices in town," I remarked.

"Yes," was the reply, "but it made so much bother, and did so little good, that it was abolished some months since."

In her manner of receiving this remark, I could discover no proof of a participation in, or knowledge of the process by which the rival concern had been gotten rid of. And I might as well say in this connection as anywhere else, that I have never in my own official experience, known any instance of a wife or child being made an accomplice, partner or confidant, "before the fact," in the commission of serious post-office offences. Prying ladies have sometimes, however, from curiosity, rather than pecuniary considerations, exhibited a remarkable aptness in getting at the written contents of letters, without the consent or knowledge of the owners.

The cloth had not long been removed before the post master's approach was heralded by the scratching at the door of a large Newfoundland dog, the circumstance being at once noted by the lady as indicative of the safe return of her husband. In a moment more the sound of the horse's hoofs were distinctly heard, and as soon as the nag had been passed over to a boy we had left in the office, the post-office annihilator entered.

"My dear," says the affectionate wife, "you have got back once more." And with this salutation she announced her guest, as "a gentleman who had come to see about some post-office business."

He eyed me rather closely, and with a much less amiable expression than he assumed on learning that I was a near relative of his "Uncle Sam," which I saw it was essential to make known to him, in order to secure decent treatment; for he was decidedly savage in his looks and manners on the first introduction, taking me no doubt for some troublesome customer (as I eventually proved to be, by the way,) who had come to bother him about some trifling affair.

An intimation that I would like to see him at the post-office was sufficient. We soon found ourselves there alone, and I commenced interrogating him thus:—

"Did you receive notice from the Department in March last of the discontinuance of the office at P.?"

"I did, and was ordered to take possession of the property of the Department," he replied. "The old gentleman," said he, "rather hated to yield; but, when I showed him the documents, he caved in and made the best of it. The fact is, the office never ought to have been created at all."

"When did the order reach your hands?" I asked; "and do you remember the circumstance of its arrival in the mail?"

"I well remember all about it," said he; "I opened the mail that day myself, as usual. I think it was one of the last days in March. I shall never forget the astonished look of neighbor N., as he perused the order converting him into a private citizen once more."

"He wasn't satisfied with a certified copy of the unwelcome document, was he?" I remarked. "And, by the way, what was the object of serving a copy of the paper on him?"

"Well," he rejoined, with a slight embarrassment, "the fact is, I thought I had better retain the original for my own protection, in case of any fuss. He had to have it, however, before he would shut up shop."

At this juncture I produced the "order," and laying it before him, requested that he would turn to the entry of a free letter on his "mails received," at the time of the receipt of this one. The search was in vain, as I well knew it would be; and he undertook to explain that circumstance by claiming that official letters frequently came from Washington without wrapper or post-bill.

By this time he evidently began to construe my inquiries into a suspicion of his fraudulent conduct; and, as in all such cases, every attempt to extricate himself only made the matter worse.

"Come to think of it," said he, "I was absent from home the day that letter arrived, and on my return I took it from my private box where my letters are put," at the same time pointing to a pigeon-hole in a small letter-case over the desk.

"And would your wife open the mail in your absence?" I inquired.

Receiving an affirmative answer, I requested him to call her, taking care that they should hold no private conversation. Exhibiting to her the outside of the letter, I asked if she recollected taking it from the mail and placing it in the post master's box. They exchanged glances, and, on the second look towards him, I was just in time to observe a trifling nod of the head by way of intimating that she had better say yes. But she thought otherwise, and was quite positive that if such a thing had come loose in the bag, at any time when she opened the mail, she would have noticed it.

"To come right to the point," said I, "this document is disowned by the Department, and no authority has been given to any one to discontinue the other office."

A forced laugh from the post master followed this announcement, but the honest wife looked worried.

"Well," he answered, "if it did not come from the Appointment Office, then some mischievous clerk in the Department may have sent it as an April-fool hoax, as it was near the first of April; or some one may have slipped it into my private box unobserved, though no one could well do it unless it was the boy that you see about here."

"I see no motive that he could have had for doing it," I observed.

"But he might possibly have been hired to do it," was the reply.

In accounting for the envelope, it now became an important point to settle whether or not the post master had been in the habit of preserving all official circulars from the Department. If so, and this envelope had been torn from one of them, the remaining fragment might still come to light as his certain accuser. A search of the files showed the preservation of all such documents for two years previous, but nothing appeared to match the covering of the "order."

Still believing it was obtained in that way, I adjourned the investigation for a few days, and meantime applied to the Department for duplicates of any printed circulars that had been sent to this office, and the return mail brought me one that was so sent, but a few weeks previous to the fraud in question. Its absence from the postmaster's files, while all other similar documents had been carefully saved, was a strong circumstance to show that a part of it at least had been used for this dishonest purpose. But the damning proof was yet to come. In the printed words "Official Business," which were in capitals on the outside of the duplicate circular, there was a defect, or "nick" in the letter O, and the last S, in business. On comparing this with the covering of the spurious order, exactly the same bruises were found in the same letters, identifying the one with the other in the most positive manner, as the coincidence would be almost miraculous of the same type being battered in precisely the same way, upon circulars printed at different times.

Nor was this all. In folding the circular before the ink was fairly dry, some parts of the printed words in the body of it had "struck off" upon the inner side of the "fly leaf," which parts of words could, by a strong light, be distinctly observed upon several lines directly under each other. Referring to the printed page of the entire circular received for examination and comparison, a copy of which was known to have been sent to this post-office, the same words were found to occur, and precisely in the same relative positions.

Thus was the final link in the chain of evidence closed and riveted; a chain which held the guilty one in its unyielding grasp, and set at nought all attempts at evasion or escape, had he been disposed to make them. His only alternative was silence or confession, and of these he chose the latter.

A full report of all the facts above stated was made to the Department, and the tricky post master soon received an official letter from Washington, concerning whose genuineness the most sceptical could have no doubt. In this case, "the engineer was hoist with his own petard." In stopping his neighbor's office he was himself stopped; and, furthermore, received a reward for his misdeeds, the nature of which any future post-office stopper will learn by sad experience.

The defunct office was resuscitated, and its former incumbent reinstated in all the rights and privileges of which he had been deprived by the treachery of his unscrupulous opponent.

Nothing but the most obstinate determination to carry his point, at all hazards, could have impelled this man to the extreme measures which he adopted for ridding himself of his rival. Forgery is a crime of sufficient magnitude, one would think, to deter from its commission any one that is not prepared to go all lengths in the execution of his designs. And the present case shows how far pride and self-will may carry a man who yields to their suggestions, and how small a matter may be sufficient to raise them to an irresistible height, and create a tide which may sweep away conscience, and honor, and all that is valuable in character, to say nothing of an enlightened regard to self-interest.

The man whose discreditable exploit we have recorded, paid dearly for his short-lived triumph; and whoever is in danger of suffering his pride or obstinacy to hurry him beyond the bounds of prudence and virtue, will do well to "sit down first, and count the cost."