Engagements at and about home, 1813 and 1814.

First day, the 28th of 11th month, 1813. Feeling my mind drawn last evening and this morning to attend Friends’ meeting at Martinicock, I submitted thereto and went alone. In the forepart of the meeting, I had to combat a spirit of ease and stupefaction, which is generally prevalent among the worldly-minded, although they may be pretty steady in attending meetings; yet it is to be feared with little or no profit, if it be true what the beloved apostle has affirmed, that: “If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” In the latter part of the meeting I was led to view the excellency of the pacific principles of the gospel, as promulgated by Jesus Christ and his apostles; and to show to the people, the very great and essential benefit and blessing which would result to the professors of Christianity by a strict adherence and submission thereunto; as they stand in direct opposition to the spirit of violence and war, and breathe forth nothing but peace on earth and good will to men. It proved through mercy a season of favour; many hearts were contrited, and the faithful and poor in spirit comforted and strengthened; and my own mind inspired with gratitude and thankfulness for such unmerited mercy.

First day, the 5th of 12th month. The six working days of last week were principally spent in my worldly concerns, except attending our fifth day meeting, and the Charity Society meeting yesterday; an institution of Friends for educating the children of poor black people. Our funds, agreeably to the last report of a settlement with the Treasurer, amount to upwards of thirteen hundred dollars; the interest of which is yearly expended for the above purpose, by a committee of the Society, who superintend the educating of said children. The directors of the Society are limited to thirty members, who meet quarterly for the promotion and oversight of the institution. I attended our fifth day meeting in silence, and sat our meeting in like manner to-day, in poverty of spirit, which terminated in a peaceful close.

First day, the 12th of 12th month. At our meeting to-day, my mind was largely opened to set forth before the people the difference between the law state and that of the gospel. It was, I trust, an instructive edifying season, worthy of grateful remembrance.

Second day afternoon I rode to New-York, in order to attend the meeting for sufferings to be held there the next day. It opened at the ninth hour. We got through the business at two sittings, and closed in the evening. Fourth day afternoon I rode home. Fifth day was our monthly meeting. The meeting for worship was, I think, a favoured comfortable season; and the testimonies communicated instructive and edifying: such repeated favoured seasons make it evident beyond controversy, that we are still a highly favoured people, and shall be accountable according to the manifold mercies and blessings bestowed upon us: and we have great cause often to query, like the psalmist formerly, “What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits towards me;” for his mercies are new every morning; great is his faithfulness.

Sixth and seventh days. Spent in my ordinary concerns; yet, I trust, my mind was preserved in a state of watchfulness and care, that what I do, even in my temporal business, may all be done to the glory of God, and be useful to myself and to my fellow creatures.

First day, the 19th of 12th month. While silently musing in our meeting towards the latter part, a subject opened which led to the necessity of communication, wherein that petition in the prayer our Lord taught his disciples, viz: “Thy kingdom come; thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven;” was opened to the audience; and the necessity of our individually witnessing it fulfilled in us, as the only medium through which we can obtain salvation, and a preparation for the kingdom of heaven. This was pressed upon the people, showing from the analogy of things, that as there is nothing but the Lord’s will done in heaven, a soul that is not reconciled thereto, cannot enter therein, nor partake of its celestial enjoyment.

The rest of the week was carefully employed in my household concerns, with the attendance of our fifth day meeting, agreeably to my invariable practice when at home, if not prevented by indisposition. It was a quiet comfortable meeting.

Sixth day. Attended the funeral of our honest friend Richard Townsend. There was a large collection of Friends and neighbours, he being generally esteemed. A meeting was held on the occasion, which proved a very solemn season. The people’s attention was called to the necessity of a timely preparation for death, in a large arousing testimony; setting forth the great and singular advantages which would redound to the children of men, by their obtaining right ideas and apprehensions of God. The want of these left them to be led away into a belief of many strange and ideal notions concerning him, particularly that of foreordination; the inconsistency of which, my mind was led to unfold to the auditory, by this and other undeniable arguments;—that, as God’s ordination, and God’s creation, and God’s will, are always in perfect unison, and cannot be diverse one from the other; and as all that he wills and creates is immutably good, agreeably to his own declaration in the work of creation; hence, whatever he ordains must likewise be immutably good: therefore, if there is any such thing as sin and iniquity in the world, then God has neither willed it, nor ordained it; as it is impossible for him to will contradictions. And secondly, if he has, previous to man’s creation, willed and determined all his actions, then certainly every man stands in the same state of acceptance with him, and a universal salvation must certainly take place; which I conceive the favourers of foreordination would be as unwilling as myself to believe. And moreover, if man was not vested with the power of free agency, and a liberty of determining his own will, in relation to a choice of good or evil, he could not be an accountable creature; neither would it be in his power to commit sin. It was a time of favour, and the Lord’s blessing on the labours of the day was reverently supplicated. O, saith my soul, may they have the desired effect.

First day, the 26th of 12th month. Sat the greater part of our meeting in much weakness and poverty of spirit, to which I felt perfectly resigned, believing it to be agreeable to the Lord’s will. But towards the close an honest elderly Friend, though young and small in such service, expressed a sentence or two accompanied with a degree of life, which seemed to give spring to a concern on my mind, which led to communication. The subject which opened was to show, that plainness and simplicity were the true marks and badges of the Lord’s people and children in every age of the world, witnessed to by the true nature and analogy of all things in the universe; and confirmed by the testimony of the grace and good spirit of God through his servants in all the generations of mankind. The youth were exhorted and tenderly invited to submit to the cross of Christ, with the assurance assented to by the experience of all the faithful; that if they bowed willingly to his yoke, it would become not only easy but delightful. But alas! how true is that declaration of the prophet: “who hath believed our report, and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?” Certainly to none but the obedient, which number, if we are to judge by their fruits, is doubtless very small.

Second, third, and fourth days. Spent mostly in my temporal business, but not without a watchful care lest it should engage too much of my attention. The evenings were partly spent in reading the scriptures, in which I greatly delight. How excellent are those records! although old, yet they seem ever new. The prophecy of Micah was a part of my present reading; what a dignified sense and clear view he had of the gospel state and worship; and how exceedingly it lessened the service and worship of the law in his view, in the clear sense given him of its full and complete abolishment, with all its shadowy rituals; when he was led to set forth its insufficiency, in this exalted language: “Wherewith shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before the high God? Shall I come before him with burnt-offerings, with calves of a year old? Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, or with ten thousands of rivers of oil? Shall I give my first-born for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?” No, none, nor all of these were sufficient to give access to the divine presence, or to the divine law under the gospel; they being only shadows, and therefore could only give access to the outward law and outward lawgiver Moses, and the law and ordinances given by him; which were also shadows of the true substance. For Moses, and his outward law and ordinances, stood in the same relation to outward Israel, under the shadowy dispensation, as Christ the spiritual Moses, with his spiritual law written in the heart, does to his spiritual Israel under the gospel; “which is a dispensation not” of shadow, but of substance; as is clearly shown by the sequel of the testimony of Micah above alluded to, where he goes on as follows: “He hath showed thee, O man, what is good;” then certainly not shadow nor sign, but real substance, “and what doth the Lord require of thee,” not only by an outward, but by his inward, divine law, “but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God.” This is the sum and substance of all true religion and worship, and needs not the continuance of any outward elementary washings or eatings or drinkings; but opens to the necessity of our drinking at that spiritual river, the streams whereof make glad the whole heritage of God. For those that drink thereof will never thirst again, at least for the water of any other stream.

Fifth day. Sat our meeting to-day in silence. It is not unpleasant to feel ourselves sometimes circumstanced as Mordecai formerly, sitting at the king’s gate, and, in its season, is as grateful to the truly humble and submissive mind, as riding on the king’s horse, and all bowing before us.

First day, the 2d of 1st month, 1814. Another year is ended. Oh my soul, how hast thou improved it, and what progress hast thou made in thy heavenly journey? As I sat in our meeting to-day, my mind was led to contrast the law and gospel, or shadow and substance. “While I was musing the fire burned,” and my heart became warmed within me; “then spake I with my tongue,” and endeavoured in a zeal for the Lord’s cause, to open to the people, the superiour excellency of the gospel, above and beyond that of the law, as set forth by the precepts, doctrines, example and commands of our great and gracious lawgiver Jesus Christ. The life rose towards the close of the meeting into a good degree of dominion, through hard labour and toil. For many professors lie so securely in their graves, that nothing short of the powerful voice that raised Lazarus formerly, is sufficient to quicken and raise them therefrom.

Second day. This day principally spent in making provision more favourably to meet the inclemency of the ensuing winter.

Third day. Spent as yesterday. In the evening read Thomas Ellwood’s relation of his sufferings and cruel usage from his father, because, for conscience’ sake, he could not pull off his hat and stand bare before him; and for using the plain language of thou and thee, instead of the plural you. Alas! what a spirit of pride, arrogance and cruelty governs the children of men, while living in the lusts of their fallen nature, estranged from God and from his true nature and image. And it is to be feared that many in this day, who profess to be the successors of those primitive sufferers, our worthy predecessors, who stood faithful, and patiently bore the burden and heat of the day, through many years of cruel persecution, are now turning back like a broken bow; and through the fear or favour of men, are disregarding the testimonies which their forefathers in the truth purchased at so dear a rate; and are ready to account many of them but small, or as indifferent things, which may, or may not, be attended to at their own pleasure. But alas for these, it is to be feared they will never have a view, much less be permitted to enter the promised land, the heavenly Canaan: but will fall in the wilderness as did the unbelieving and rebellious in former ages. I often mourn and take up a lamentation, when I behold the children of believing parents, turning aside, disobedient to their parents, and disregarding the travail and exercise of their concerned Friends, who are labouring for their return: but those who are faithful to give the watchword in season, will be clear of their blood, and the Lord will be clear. For he will have a people, and, as formerly, will send his servants into the highways and hedges, and gather from thence, that his house may be filled: but those children of the kingdom, who are making excuses, and will not come when they are bidden, will be cast out into outer darkness, where will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Fourth day. I was occupied as a carpenter, in making some conveniences for my stock. I felt wearied at evening with the labour of the day, but was comforted with a peaceful mind, feeling myself at peace with all men. A blessed privilege; it is the Lord’s doing, and marvellous in mine eyes.

Seventh day. Attended the funeral of an ancient Friend. A meeting was held on the occasion, wherein I was exercised in a large arousing testimony suited to the occasion. May it be to the honest inquirers, as a nail fastened in a sure place; and to those who yet remain unwilling to surrender, as bread cast upon the waters, found after many days.

First day, the 9th of 1st month. At our meeting to-day I was led to reflect on my frequent appearances in the ministry at home, and ready to wonder why I was led so often to communicate to almost the same assembly. But these meditations were soon superseded by a renewed living concern, which opened again to communication, in a deep searching testimony; wherein I was led to show the fallacy and weakness of all man’s creaturely and carnal reasoning, that it was all estranged from God, and stood in the ignorance and corruption of his fallen nature; and that man never had, nor could have, consistent with his nature as a dependent being, a right to assume a power to use his reason at his own discretion and will; but only in submission and subservience to the dictates of the light and spirit of his Creator, as paramount both to his reason and animal senses. For his reason is given him as an agent under his Creator, to govern and keep in due order the animal senses; not according to his own discretion and will, but agreeable to the manifestations of the divine spirit, or inward law and will, of his heavenly Father. It was an humbling season, and many hearts with mine own were bowed in reverence, under the sensible impress of the divine power.

The rest of the week I passed in my usual engagements, and in visiting some of my friends.

First day, the 16th of 1st month. Sat our meeting in silence to-day. The three following days I spent in attending to my usual avocations, and in visiting two of my sick neighbours. One of them was a young man, who was convinced of the truth, as held by us, in his young years. He spoke very sensibly of the work of truth on his mind in the early part of his convincement, and of the awe that covered his spirit, through the sensible impressions of the divine power; and recapitulated the precious seasons he had witnessed in the fields, sitting on rocks, and stumps of trees; and that he now felt his love to reach forth and embrace the whole human family. He appeared to be in a sweet and quiet frame of mind, though so weak, as not to be able to speak louder than a whisper. What a precious thing it is when the youth submit willingly to the visitations of divine love in their tender years; how amiable they appear, and how peaceful their close; a pearl to be valued above all temporal enjoyments.

Fifth day. This being the time of our monthly meeting, we had the company of two Friends on a visit to us. One of them appeared largely in the line of the ministry, but a fear attended my mind, lest he had not sufficiently attended to that command, which forbids sowing our ground with mingled seed; or suffering a garment of linen and woollen to come upon us: Oh how necessary it is for all those who apprehend they are called to the work of the ministry, to know self fully reduced; otherwise they may be in danger of endeavouring to cover the harlot, with the Lord’s jewels; and with fair words, and fine speeches, deceive the hearts of the simple.

Sixth day. Attended our preparative meeting of Ministers and Elders. I had to drop a caution, founded on the failure of Moses and Aaron at the rock; when instead of speaking to it, as commanded, Moses smote it with his rod, with the addition of, “hear now, ye rebels; must we fetch you water out of this rock?” This act, being the effect of mere creaturely zeal and warmth of natural passions, lost them much; as it prevented their entering into the promised land. Oh how needful it is for those who are called to stand as a medium between God and the people, to be deeply attentive to the word of command, and not add thereto, nor diminish therefrom, under the penalty of his displeasure. For if he spared not Moses who was only guilty of this one fault in his administration, how much less can we expect that he will spare us, if we should add to, or diminish from, the word of prophecy.

Seventh day. Assisted a sick neighbour to settle his outward business by writing his will and seeing it executed. I then endeavoured to stimulate his mind with a concern rightly to improve the few remaining moments which might be permitted him on this side the grave; that so he might be prepared to meet death with a peaceful and tranquil mind.

First day, the 23d of 1st month, 1814. Attended Westbury meeting, at which there was a funeral of a deceased ancient woman Friend. It was a large meeting. Many Friends and neighbours came from a distance to attend the funeral. I had good service among them in the line of the ministry, by way of caution, encouragement and reproof; and was led to press upon the auditory the necessity of a submission of our wills to the divine will, as the only medium through which we could become qualified to answer the great end of our creation; which is to glorify God and enjoy him.

Second day. Attended the funeral of a pious young Friend of our meeting who departed this life by a consumption, after lingering a few months. His corpse was carried into our meeting-house at Jericho. There was a large meeting on the occasion, and through the prevalence of the divine power that presided over the assembly, it proved a very solemn time. Many hearts were broken and contrited by the force of the testimony, which went forth powerfully clothed with the demonstration of the spirit, and the Lord’s name was exalted over all.

Seventh day. This being the time of our quarterly meeting, I was mostly employed through the week in attention thereto. It was, I think, through the several sittings a solemn searching time. My mind was closely engaged on several subjects appertaining to our Christian testimonies; but more particularly that against war, which was now in the land. Friends, with others, were called upon for supplies by way of taxes to carry it on, which were levied various ways on the inhabitants. I felt my mind deeply engaged to lay before Friends the inconsistency of our actively complying with any such military requisitions, believing that if we did, we should not only become accessaries in the war, but should have to bear a part of the guilt of shedding the blood of our fellow creatures. The Lord’s power was felt to preside, and the testimonies borne on the occasion were evidently clothed with divine authority, keeping down all opposition. The minds of the faithful were inspired with humble gratitude and thanksgiving to the Lord our gracious helper, under a renewed sense of his continued mercy to us as a people; and to all the workmanship of his holy hand.

First day, the 30th of 1st month, 1814. As I was sitting in our meeting my mind became exercised in contemplating the danger that some of my fellow professors of the Christian name are exposed to, by placing their dependence for justification and salvation on the imputative righteousness of Christ which he performed without them, without coming to know a complete remission of their sins, and living a life of righteousness through faith in the operation of God, and a submission to the work of his spirit in their minds; by which, according to the apostle’s exhortation, they can only be enabled to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God that worketh in the willing and obedient soul, both to will and to do of his own good pleasure; but this can only be witnessed by such as experience their own wills to be mortified and slain by the power of the cross inwardly revealed, whereby the true spiritual atonement is made. I was largely opened to communicate on some of these subjects; and to show to the people wherein the true harmony between the law dispensation, and that of the gospel consisted. It was a season worthy of grateful remembrance; the meeting closed with thanksgiving and prayer, under a renewed sense of the continued mercy of our gracious God, who is over all, blessed for ever.

Second day. Being unwell with a cold I kept house and read.

Third day. Having the evening before received an invitation to attend the funeral of a deceased neighbour about four miles distant from my dwelling, and understanding it was the desire of the deceased on her death-bed that I would attend; I felt inclined to go, although still unwell. I was glad I gave up thereto, as it proved, through heavenly help, a solemn instructive season, wherein my heart and mouth were opened to declare largely of the way of life and salvation to the people in the clear demonstration of truth. The assembly in general were bowed and humbled, and many hearts contrited; to the Lord alone be the praise, for to him only it is due.

Fourth day. Still unwell: mostly kept house.

Fifth day. Ventured out to our meeting, but was considerably afflicted with my cold and cough. The meeting was held in silence.

The two following days, and the forepart of the next week, I employed, mostly, in preparing for the press a small treatise on slavery; and on the use of the produce of the labour of slaves. I laid it before our meeting for sufferings which met this week; and obtained their concurrence for printing it. As I was in the city, I attended Friends’ meetings as they came in course on fourth and fifth days, and returned home on sixth day. Nothing particular transpired on seventh day.

First day, the 13th of 2d month. Was largely opened in communication on divers subjects in a very searching testimony, which brought a covering of great solemnity over the meeting. The honest-hearted were comforted: but it was a season of sharp reproof to the unfaithful and lukewarm.

Fifth day. Attended our monthly meeting, at which nothing opened worthy of particular notice.

Seventh day. I attended the funeral of the wife of John Wine, a Friend of Flushing. We had a very solemn meeting on the occasion, in which I was exercised in a large affecting testimony, tendering and contriting the hearts of the assembly in general. The truth was raised into dominion, breaking down all before its influential searching power; which was cause of deep gratitude and thanksgiving to the Lord our gracious helper, for his unmerited mercy, still dispensed in his longsuffering loving kindness to the children of men.

Feeling my mind inclined to sit with Friends here the next day, which was first day, the people were notified thereof at the close of the foregoing opportunity. It was a full meeting, in which truth favoured and furnished with matter suited to the states of those present; which made it an instructive edifying season. The canopy of love was felt to spread sweetly and very comfortably over the assembly, and I parted with them in the fresh feeling thereof; and with a peaceful mind, and a thankful sense of the Lord’s mercy.

Nothing particular occurred in the course of the next week; but the precious savour that was witnessed in the two forementioned opportunities, remained as a canopy over my mind, and was cause of humble gratitude and thankfulness to the blessed Author of all our rich mercies and blessings.

First day, the 27th of 2d month. My mind, in our meeting to-day, after a considerable time of humble quiet waiting, and seeking to be gathered to Shiloh, was led in prospect to view the great and singular advantages which would redound to the children of men by an early acquaintance with the Lord; and by continually looking to him, and relying on him, as the primary and only object of their faith and hope. The prospect enlarged and opened to a communication, and the truth was raised into a comfortable degree of dominion, and spread a solemn covering over the assembly; and many hearts were contrited and made glad from a feeling sense of the Lord’s mercy vouchsafed to us at this season. O how good is the Lord, and how greatly to be praised, for his mercy endureth for ever.

The rest of this week I was occupied in my temporal concerns. Sat our fifth day meeting in silence, in which I had to maintain a steady warfare against the intrusion of unprofitable thoughts. O how precious it is to be favoured to gain a complete victory over these, and to have the mind brought to witness a profound stillness, where nothing reigns but Jesus, in his inward spiritual government.

First day, the 6th of 3d month. In our meeting to-day I had again to bear testimony against the prevailing evils of the day; some of which I had to expose, and to show how we must enter the church militant, if ever we enter right, and become useful members thereof, and be truly comforted and profited thereby. The communication was introduced by the parable of the supper, which shows that those who have something of the pleasures and treasures of this world to gratify and comfort themselves with, will not come in, although invited: but those who are brought to a full sense of their wretched and forlorn condition, without God and without a Saviour, compared, in the parable, to those who are poor and destitute of every comfort, and scattered in the highways and hedges, will seek a place of refuge; and having tried every means they had in their power, and every invention that man has sought out in the way of salvation, and after all finding themselves still left in a state of disappointment, are made willing to surrender all up, and sell all; that so they may be enabled to purchase the field wherein the pearl of great price lies. The word went forth with power, and struck home to many minds, and a very solemn weight appeared to cover the assembly in general.

Second, third, and fourth days. Spent in a quiet attention to my temporal concerns with the attendant blessing of peace of mind; yet not without some intervals of interruption from the loose and the vain, with which this neighbourhood is too much disturbed. Alas, what has so gained the ascendency in and over the mind of man, as to cause him to delight and take pleasure in wickedness.

Fifth day. Was our preparative meeting, in which the overseers brought forward information against one of our members, a young man, for deviations from plainness, and being guilty of attending horse races, and suffering his horse to run for a wager; all which manifest a very thoughtless disposition, and much vanity of mind, very unworthy the least member in our community. The meeting felt tenderly for him, as he had not had a guarded education; he being left an orphan, when small, by the death of his father. In considering his condition, I was induced to enlist myself voluntarily in the meeting’s service, to pay him a visit; and the meeting added another Friend to join me therein. I was likewise engaged in the meeting for worship, to call Friends’ attention to the necessity of greater purification both in body, soul, and spirit; as the only medium through which we could gain an inheritance in the kingdom of heaven. I showed by the analogy of reason, that a purified soul could not be content to inhabit a polluted body; and that if the inside was made clean, the outside would be clean also; and that true and genuine Christianity will lead to cleanliness in our persons, in our houses, and in all our concerns. All this will proceed from real love and duty to our Creator, and not from any germ of pride, or vainly to make a show, but from a real desire of effecting holiness in the fear of the Lord.

First day, the 13th. A comfortable meeting to-day, mostly in silence, but closed with solemn supplication, wherein I was led to set forth how our gracious and beneficent Creator, although he sees all our wants, and stands always disposed, before we ask him, to redress all our real grievances, and dispense good to us whenever he finds us in a condition fit to receive: yet as he is a God of justice and truth, he delights to see his people and children grateful and humbly sensible of their dependence on him for every blessing; therefore, he permits them, at times, when he sees meet to influence their minds thereto, to approach his sacred presence in humble and devout prayer, and which also affords to those who are thus devoted, sweet and heavenly consolation and joy.

I passed this week mostly at home overseeing my temporal concerns. Attended our monthly meeting on fifth day, at which we received information, from the women’s meeting, of the departure of one of our members, a young woman, who had gone out in her marriage with one not a member, whom they concluded ought to be disowned; with which the men’s meeting concurred. This is a weakness among our young members, which is, in general, very pernicious in its consequences, and too often happens through the neglect of care and right concern in parents and guardians, who, for want of living near the truth, and under right religious engagements themselves, are too often led away to seek after riches for their children, and are more desirous that their children should obtain companions who are wealthy and rich in this world’s treasure, than such as are truly religious and virtuous. Thus a foundation is often laid, by such indiscreet parents, for many very unhappy connexions, by which the religious improvement and advancement of their tender offspring is often entirely intercepted and prevented, and their prospects of temporal comfort and joy rendered abortive; and they have to drag out a miserable existence until death dissolves their obligations.

First day, the 20th. As I sat in our meeting my mind was brought under exercise in taking a view of the life of Solomon, that wise king of Israel, as delineated by his own pen; and from which we learn the insignificance of all consolation and joy which have their source in temporal and mortal things, as they must and will end, in vanity and vexation of spirit: and that to fear God and keep his commandments, is not only the whole duty of man, but likewise the only blessed and eternal source of all true joy and never ending felicity. The subject spread on my mind and led to communication, in which I endeavoured, in the ability afforded, by persuasive arguments, to engage the minds of the auditory, both old and young, in the pursuit of that invaluable treasure that waxeth not old, but endureth for ever, which will bring true joy to the immortal soul and adds no sorrow.

Nothing particular occurred in the course of this week, except that a care and fear attended my mind, lest the cares of this world and the increase of temporal things might too much interrupt, and intrude, upon my spiritual concerns; for riches are ever deceitful, and always promise more than they have in their power to perform.

First day, the 27th. Feeling my mind inclined to sit with Friends at Bethpage to-day, I yielded to the motion and attended their meeting; and although I had not a great deal to communicate, yet what I had, appeared to reach home to many minds, and rendered it a comfortable meeting, not only to myself, but to the assembly in general. The subject which opened for communication was the necessity and excellency of integrity; and that although we might be so wise and knowing as to comprehend all knowledge, yet if we were destitute of integrity and sincerity of heart, we should but share the fate of fools at last, and be not a whit better for all our wisdom and knowledge.

Second, third, and fourth days. Spent in close attention to my temporal concerns, the care for which, and for their right ordering, is constantly necessary; insomuch that I often wonder how it is, that I sometimes hear people say, they seem at a loss how to spend their time; when not only my temporal, but in an especial manner my spiritual concerns, are always urgent and pressing; so that I find not a moment to be idle: so true is that declaration of the Most High verified: “In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art and unto dust shalt thou return.” The wise man also saith: “All things are full of labour” therefore we ought not to repine or murmur at our lot, but receive all, as at the hand of the Lord with thanksgiving.

Fifth, sixth, and seventh days. I attended three funerals, one on each day successively. The first was a very ancient female, upwards of ninety years of age, belonging to Westbury meeting. We had a solemn meeting on the occasion, in which truth favoured, opening suitable doctrine, and bringing it home to the states of those present, who were mostly Friends. The hidden things of Esau, or the first nature, and the secret lurking places of self, were searched out and exposed; for which my mind, with the honest-hearted present, was made glad in the Lord, and in the apparent working of his power and wisdom. The two last were not members of our society, but were favourably disposed to Friends. They were seasons of favour. A meeting, was held at each, and both largely attended by the neighbouring inhabitants. The doctrines delivered were well adapted to the conditions of the hearers, and were brought home to many minds in the demonstration of truth, breaking and contriting many hearts; and thanksgiving and praises were returned to the Shepherd of Israel, as a tribute of gratitude for such unmerited mercies.

First day, the 3d of 4th month. Our meeting to-day was favoured with the overshadowing wing of divine truth, and its power exalted over all, contriting and comforting many minds. But alas, what small advancements are made by many of those who are often dug about and watered by the compassionate Shepherd of Israel, whose mercy is still eminently dispensed to man, the workmanship of his holy hand.

I attended two funerals in the course of this week, one on fifth day, after the sitting of our preparative meeting, and the other on sixth day. Both were young men in the prime of life. The latter unmarried, and was a relation to my wife. His parents had a healthful family of children, and had never met with the like trial before. It was therefore a very affecting scene both to them and their children; they having been before favoured with almost an unbroken scene of worldly prosperity, which made the wound sink deeper. We had a very solemn meeting on the occasion, wherein I was largely opened to preach the gospel in the demonstration of truth; and among other things to show to the people, the necessity and sure felicity of an early preparation for death; and that God was the alone proper object for man to set his heart and affections upon. The auditory were mostly not in membership with Friends. Many of them were much broken and contrited, and a general, and very precious solemnity was spread over the meeting. The hearts of many were made glad, from a sense of the Lord’s continued and unmerited goodness and mercy to the children of men; still showing his unwillingness that any should die in their sins, and that all might repent, turn to him and live.

First day, the 10th. I had a hard suffering meeting to-day, in which I witnessed not only deep inward poverty, but had to struggle with unprofitable thoughts, with very little ability to maintain the warfare; yet, under the consideration that it was altogether as good, if not better, than my deserts could justly require, I was preserved from murmuring or complaining at my lot, being willing to receive evil as well as good, at the hand of my gracious and compassionate Lord, when he sees meet to permit or dispense it. “Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not evil?”

The rest of this week was principally occupied in a close application to my temporal concerns, except attending our monthly and select preparative meetings, which came at this time. My belief was similar to the apostle’s, that he who is not carefully industrious to labour for his own and household’s comfortable support, may be considered to have denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel; as they are generally careful on those accounts.

First day, the 17th. The meeting to-day was pretty open and comfortable. The rest of the week was mostly taken up in attending our quarterly meeting, held at New-York at this time.

First day, the 24th. Sat our meeting mostly in silence.

Second, third, and fourth days. Were taken up principally in caring for my temporal concerns. Alas, how much precious time is expended for the accommodation of those houses of clay, which must shortly return to the dust from whence they were taken; and which often burden, and too much indispose the mind for heavenly and spiritual meditations, unless carefully watched and strongly guarded against.

Fifth day. I was wholly silent in our meeting to-day; in the course of which I had full evidence of the truth of that saying of the great Master, that of ourselves, without him, we can do nothing.

Sixth and seventh days. Were accompanied with heart searchings, discouragement, and dismay; in which I witnessed the truth of that saying, that vain is the help of man, whose efforts often tend more to sully and weaken, than to brighten and strengthen the minds of those they strive to help. This is principally owing to their dwelling on the surface, and judging from the outward appearance, instead of digging deep in search of the mind of truth, which only can enable to judge with righteous judgment.

First day, the 1st of 5th month. Sat our meeting in silence, and in much poverty of spirit; and when the season for closing the meeting seemed near at hand, I looked over the assembly, which was pretty large, with a degree of sympathy and commiseration, which brought to my remembrance the compassionate saying of our Lord to his disciples, on, as I apprehended, a similar occasion, viz: “If I send them away fasting to their own houses, they will faint by the way.” This put a stop to my mind with regard to closing the meeting; and as I knew I had nothing to give, I looked around to see what was to be done. A friend then stood up with something comparable to the five loaves and the two fishes, which were found formerly in the lad’s basket. As they were broken, she handed them to the company, until all appeared satisfied; for which I was thankful.

Seventh day. The week hath passed away. Oh time, precious time, how swift thou passest on, by us almost unenjoyed and unimproved! How soon thou wilt land thy travelling pilgrim in the house appointed for all living; where, oh my soul, thou knowest there is no repentance nor amendment known! Prepare then, oh prepare, for thy final change!

First day, the 8th of 5th month. A poor silent meeting until near the close, when a little light sprang up and dispelled the darkness, and sweetened all the bitter. By such things we are instructed, and learn to know our dependent state, and that it is the Lord’s doings, and marvellous in our eyes.

Nothing uncommon transpired in the course of this week, save as usual, bonds and afflictions for the gospel’s sake, spiritually and inwardly experienced, await me; from a view and sense of the spread of evil, and the great want of faithful testimony-bearers in society; and the languor and weakness which abound; that I am sometimes almost involuntarily led to cry, alas for the day.

First day, the 15th. My mind was deeply exercised in our meeting to-day on divers important subjects, and largely led forth in communication: but for want of a more full openness and preparation in the auditory to receive, the labour was arduous and exercising, yet I trust profitable to some.

The rest of the week was employed in my usual attention to my necessary temporal concerns, and an unfailing attention to those of a religious nature. Our monthly meeting was held this week. The meeting for Ministers and Elders belonging to the yearly meeting was held on seventh day, at the tenth hour, which my wife and myself attended. It was, I think, in a good degree a favoured time; as were the public meetings on first day, both forenoon and afternoon. On second day the yearly meeting for discipline opened at the tenth hour, and continued by adjournments until fifth day evening. It was for the most part a comfortable profitable season, evidencing in the several sittings, that the Lord had not forsaken his people, but was still graciously manifesting his presence and power for our comfort and help, in ordering the affairs of the Church. On sixth day Friends turned their faces towards home, where I arrived at evening with my wife and two youngest daughters, who constitute my present family, except servants.

The next day I felt myself in a cheerful readiness to put my hands to whatever they found to do, as right to be done.

First day, the 29th. Felt myself so much indisposed with a cold and considerable pain of body, as to be prevented from attending our meeting to-day; in reflecting thereon, and how very seldom I had been thus prevented for many years past, my mind was filled with gratitude and thankfulness to our gracious Helper and Preserver, for the portion of bodily health allotted me in the course of his divine providence; whereby, I have been almost invariably of ability of body for a number of years, to attend all our religious meetings, which I consider and number among our chiefest blessings and benefits.

The latter end of this week I joined our friend William Flanner, who was here on a religious visit from Ohio; and attended a number of meetings in divers places, where no meetings of our society were held. I had had a prospect of visiting those places some time before. We were out three days and attended five meetings. The first was with Friends at Bethpage, the rest among people inclining to Friends, and those of other professions. They were, I think, all favoured seasons. The Lord’s presence and power were manifested for our help, furnishing ability to minister suitably to the different states of the people, in the demonstration of the spirit. Many hearts were humbled and contrited, and the assemblies solemnized, and truth raised into dominion over all; and our hearts were made glad under an humbling sense of the continuation of the Lord’s mercy and compassion, still extended to the children of men. We returned home on first day evening, the 5th of 6th month.

The three following days I was about home, mostly employed in my temporal concerns.

On sixth day attended the funeral of a friend of Westbury meeting. It was a solemn time, in which I found it my place to be an example of silence. Seventh day spent at home. On first day, the 12th of 6th month, I attended two meetings, by appointment, among those not of our society. One in the morning at Cold Spring, and the other at four o’clock in the afternoon at Huntington. They were both seasons of extensive labour, and I hope profitable to some; and productive of peace to my own mind.

On second day I went to New-York in order to attend the meeting for sufferings, which I accordingly attended the next day, and returned home at evening. On fourth day attended to my temporal concerns with usual industry.

Fifth day attended our monthly meeting, at which several matters occurred producing exercise to my mind, which led to a communication of prospects; and although some diversity of sentiment was expressed, yet I was favoured so to unfold the subjects, that they were concluded in a general unity.

Sixth and seventh days. Spent in attending to my usual affairs.

First day, the 19th of 6th month. I was led in our meeting to-day, to set forth the excellency of real poverty of spirit; as it is that only, which can produce that truly humble state, to which the blessing is annexed.

Fifth day. As I was sitting in our meeting enjoying the especial advantages which are attached to silent meetings, when the mind is silently prostrated at the throne of grace, and helped to be sequestered from all intruding thoughts, and wholly centered in and upon Jehovah, the alone object of worship and adoration; a subject opened and spread in a way which led to communication; in which I had to show, that there were but two proper motives or inducements for our rightly attending religious meetings. The first related to such as were unbelievers, or those who were ignorant of the right way of worshipping God in and under the dispensation of the gospel, which according to our Lord’s declaration to the woman of Samaria, is only to be performed in spirit and in truth. The principal benefit to these, is to be informed and instructed; for which more especially, the Lord hath ordained a ministry in his Church, by means of instruments rightly qualified therefor, by the baptismal influence of the Holy Ghost. The second relates to such as are already instructed and informed, whose judgments are convinced, and whose motive as it relates to themselves is, to meet together to wait upon and worship God in spirit and in truth, without any regard or consideration to any external ministry or means whatever: as it is only in a state of entire sequestration from every thing of an outward or external nature, that the soul is permitted to enter into the holy place, not made with hands; and admitted into the immediate presence of Jehovah, and rendered capable of worshipping him, in spirit and in truth, as the gospel requires.

Sixth and seventh days. Spent in my usual vocation as a farmer.

First day, the 26th of 6th month. Attended two meetings by appointment, among those principally not of our society. The first was held in a Friend’s house at a place called the Half Hollow Hills. The latter at the fourth hour in the afternoon, at a village called New Babylon, in the township of Huntington. It was held in a school-house, and was a large meeting, mostly of the Presbyterian persuasion. The people behaved very soberly, becoming the occasion. It was a very solemn favoured season; many hearts were contrited and made thankful for the opportunity; and my heart was much enlarged in love to the assembly. I trust I felt a mutual return of the same feeling from most present, for which I was made thankful to the Shepherd of Israel; and for the continuation of his gracious regard in manifesting his presence, and making bare his arm, for the help of his devoted servants; showing himself indeed to be a God near at hand, and a present helper in the needful time, worthy to be praised and adored by the children of men, throughout all ages, world without end.

The rest of this week I spent mostly about home, being closely engaged in making hay, which for want of suitable help, made it necessary for me to labour myself, beyond what seemed suitable for one of my age; but I felt peace of mind in so doing, although I suffered some pain of body, as the result of my exertion.

First day, the 3d of 7th month. Sat our meeting in silence. At the third hour in the afternoon attended the funeral of a deceased neighbour. Although my mind was brought under some exercise, which led to communication; yet I found very little relief, owing, as I apprehended, to the prevalence of a libertine spirit in many present. For these are generally disposed to mock at, and ridicule every thing serious, or that has the appearance of religion and godliness: rebellious children who hate the light, because their deeds are evil, and who take more delight in revelling and drunkenness than in the fear of the Lord. I often feel sad for such as these, and my mind goes clothed as it were with sackcloth, unseen by the world. O, when will they be awakened to a right sense of their miserable condition! I often fear that some of them have nearly sinned out their day; and to whom the scripture declaration will apply: “He that, being often reproved, hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.”

Second, third and fourth days. Busily employed in my husbandry concerns, with my mind clothed with peace towards all men, and with hope towards God my Saviour: and comforted at times in the remembrance of that apostolic declaration, where it is asserted: “We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren.”

Fifth day. Attended our meeting in silence, the fire being low on the altar.

Sixth and seventh days. Closely engaged in making and securing hay for the accommodation of my stock the ensuing winter; as I consider it a duty to provide plenty of good provender for them, so as to render their lives as comfortable as may be, whilst under my care.

First day, the 10th. As I sat in our meeting to-day, my mind was led into a consideration and prospect of the excellency and amiableness of justice, and of the vast advantage which would accrue to the children of men by a strict adherence thereto; as it would greatly tend to regulate our conduct, both as it relates to our duty to God our creator, and also to man, our fellow creature: and therefore ought to be the governing principle and main spring of all our conduct, as well in our temporal, as in our spiritual concerns. The subject spread and enlarged and opened to communication; and, I trust, proved an instructive comfortable season to some present; and I felt a reward of peace in my labour.

Second day. Attended the funeral of a deceased neighbour, who was not a member of our society, but being convinced of our principles, and inclined to Friends, the family desired a meeting might be held, which was accordingly agreed to. It was a large collection of people of various denominations, and a considerable number of the looser sort. I had an open favoured time among them, in which the power of truth rose into dominion over all, humbling and contriting many hearts, and a general solemnity was felt to cover the meeting to the praise of Him, who is over all, God blessed for ever.

Third and fourth days. Occupied in my usual concerns, but did not feel that full peace of mind with my fourth day’s exercise that is generally my experience, owing, as I apprehended, to a want of a more full attention to a small intimation respecting that day’s employment. Remember, oh my soul! that all thy success in temporals, as well as all thy sweet inward heavenly consolations, depend upon thy faithfulness and ready submission to those inward divine intimations; although sometimes small, they ought to be considered by thee, binding and obligatory, as the only source from whence all thy true peace and joy are derived.

Fifth day. This was our preparative meeting, and as it was the one preceding the quarterly meeting, the queries were read and answered; but I apprehended in a way not tending to much profit, either by reason of one or two improper questions being added to the queries of late, which to many Friends appeared inconsistent to be answered; or from the want of a more lively spiritual exercise with the members; or both might have had a share in producing a dull distressing season. No way seemed to open for any relief, so we had patiently to bear it. And indeed I thought it required a large share of patience to sit the meeting through without murmuring; the chariot wheels seemed to go very heavily on, as though almost sunk in the slough of despond; but we did what we could, and so left the matter; and I returned home with a heavy heart, and was preserved, I trust, from murmuring at my lot.

Sixth day. Spent in gathering in my harvest and some other small exercises. The day closed with a quiet and peaceful mind. What a paradise it is when this is our lot.

Seventh day. Visited two Friends who were under some bodily infirmity. The visits were mutually comfortable. Such opportunities, when rightly conducted, tend to the increase of friendship and mutual love.