HOLLAND

The Dutch are the cleanest people in the world. So deep-seated is Dutch cleanliness that Godliness (in the next seat) must get up and cling to a strap.

In Holland they run cleanliness into the ground, the heads of the cabbages are inspected every day and the ears of the corn and the necks of the bottles scrubbed regularly every Saturday night. The Sky alone escapes the mop of the Dutch housewife but the clouds are kept busy posing for the landscape painters.

Even the Wind is not allowed to be idle; wind mills are posted everywhere and not a breath of air can stir without performing some useful task.

And the Sea! The majestic Sea, that has always boasted of its freedom, is locked up in Dykes and forced to do the work of highways and railroads.

The capital of Holland is the Hague, and here was held the first Peace Conference (in 1898), a gathering of Autocrats and Plutocrats to discuss the Economics of War.

Firstly, to make rules by which war may be conducted with the least possible damage to Vested Interests.

Secondly, to reduce the cost of war by the use of methods which, while putting a soldier out of action, will not injure him beyond the possibility of repair for use in another War.

Today the Peace Palace is to let and Andrew Carnegie, who built it, is dead, but another Conference (called by Woodrow Wilson) is to be held in Geneva which, Peter Simple hopes, will abolish War forever.

The inhabitants of Holland are the most Moral and Patriotic people in the World, and their army is second to none in bravery and won the World War.