IRELAND image “The apparel oft proclaims the man.”—Hamlet. image Ireland is the land of the Irish Bull, a paradoxical Bovine whose cross-eyed horns can toss a British commonplace in two directions at once. The population of Ireland consists chiefly of Absentee landlords and Emigrants to the United States. They are ruled by two Absentee governments, a Parliament at Westminster and an Itinerant President. image Scene in Irish House of Parliament Strabo, the Greek Geographer who visited Ireland long before St. Patrick, describes the inhabitants as, “more savage than the Britons, feeding on human flesh and enormous eaters, deeming it commendable to devour their deceased fathers.” Strabo evidently attended a wake and miscalculated the strength of the national beverage. The principal products of Ireland are Potatoes, Pugilists, Patriots, The inhabitants of Ireland are the most Moral and Patriotic people in the World, and their army is second to none in bravery and won the World War. image The Giddy Globe Consoling Ireland |