THE POLES

The Earth has three kinds of Poles, the Frigid Poles in the North and South and the very hot Poles in the centre of Europe.

This chapter is about the North Pole.

The North Pole is the Geographical interrogation point of the Earth.

It is probably the only absolutely moral spot in the World.

Scientists declare it to be the site of the Garden of Eden, thus giving colour to the popular notion that Eden was the original Roof Garden.

The only language that has ever been spoken at the North Pole is English.

The language that Lieutenant Peary used when he found the footprint of Doctor Cook on the Pole, whatever else it might be, was English, and the language of the next discoverer, when he finds (or does not find) the footprint of Lieutenant Peary, will probably be English too.

Whatever use may be ultimately found for the North Pole, up to the present time it has only been used for advertising purposes.

The frozen tracts that surround it bear the names of Adventurers, Princes and Editors, and the very topmost tip, out of compliment to a well-known pianist and politician, has been called the Magnetic Pole.

So far as we know, all the disadvantages of the North Pole are shared by the South Pole, but for some reason the South Pole has never been so successful as an advertising medium.