It is very essential, in giving a dinner party, to know precisely how many guests one is to entertain. It is a serious inconvenience to have any doubt on this subject. Consequently, it is well to send an invitation, which may be in the following form:

The capital letters constitute the initials of four French words, meaning, “Answer, if you please” (RÉpondez s’il vous plait). The person thus invited must not fail to reply at once, sending a messenger to the door with the note. It is considered impolite to send it by post.

If the person invited has any doubt about being able to attend the dinner at the time stated, he should decline the invitation at once. He should be positive one way or the other, not delaying the question for consideration more than a day at the utmost. If Mr. Jones should then decline, he might reply as follows:

Or,

A prompt and decided answer of this character enables Mrs. Smith to supply the place with some other person, thereby preventing that most disagreeable thing, a vacant chair at table.

If the invitation be accepted, Mr. Jones might say in his note:

The more simple the invitation or reply, the better. Do not attempt any high-flown or original modes. Originality is most charming on most occasions; this is not one of them.

In New York, many, I notice, seem to think it elegant to use the French construction of sentences in formal notes: for instance, they are particular to say, “the invitation of Mrs. Smith,” instead of “Mrs. Smith’s invitation;” and “2d January,” instead of “January 2d.” In writing in the French language, the French construction of sentences would seem eminently proper. One might be pardoned for laughing at an English construction, if ignorance were not the cause. So, when one writes in English, let the sentences be concise, and according to the rules of the language.

On the appointed day, the guest should endeavor to arrive at the house not exceeding ten minutes before the time fixed for dinner; and while he avoids a too early arrival, he should be equally careful about being tardy.

It is enough to disturb the serenity and good temper of the most amiable hostess during the whole evening for a guest to delay her dinner, impairing it, of course, to a great extent. She should not be expected to wait over fifteen minutes for any one. Perhaps it would be as well for her to order dinner ten minutes after the appointed hour in her invitation, to meet the possible contingency of delay on the part of some guest.

When the guests are assembled in the drawing-room, if the company be large, the host or hostess can quietly intimate to the gentlemen what ladies they will respectively accompany to the dining-room. After a few moments of conversation and introductions, the dinner is to be announced, when the host should offer his arm to the lady guest of honor, the hostess taking the arm of the gentleman guest of honor; and now, the host leading the way, all should follow; the hostess, with her escort, being the last to leave the drawing-room. They should find their places at table with as little confusion as possible, not sitting down until the hostess is seated. After dinner is over, the hostess giving the signal by moving back her chair, all should leave the dining-room. The host may then invite the gentlemen to the smoking-room or library. The ladies should repair to the drawing-room. A short time thereafter (perhaps in half an hour), the butler should bring to the drawing-room the tea-service on a salver, with a cake-basket filled with fancy biscuits, or rather crackers or little cakes.

Placing them on the table, he may then announce to the host that tea is served. The gentlemen join the ladies; and, after a chat of a few minutes over the tea, all of the guests may take their departure. If the attendant is a waiting-maid, and the tea-service rather heavy, she might bring two or three cups filled with tea, and a small sugar-bowl and cream-pitcher, also the cake-basket, on a small salver; and when the cups are passed, return for more.

I do not like the English fashion, which requires the ladies to retire from the table, leaving the gentlemen to drink more wine, and smoke. Enough wine is drunk during dinner. English customs are admirable, generally, and one naturally inclines to adopt them; but in this instance I do not hesitate to condemn and reject a custom in which I see no good, but, on the contrary, a temptation to positive evil. The French reject it; let Americans do the same.