The Prison Mirror, with the exception of the Summary, published at the Elmira reformatory, is the oldest institutional paper in the country. It is also the only paper exclusively managed by prisoners, all other penal and reformatory periodicals being conducted by a high-salaried superintendent or else the policy is under the supervision of the chaplain.

The Mirror is issued each Thursday, has a circulation of about 1,500, and is distributed free to the inmates of the institution, who are permitted to send the same to relatives or friends free of charge The subscription price to the general public is $1.00, and it goes to nearly every state in the Union.

This publication is edited and managed by a prisoner, who has full charge of the printing department. Each Wednesday chase proofs of the following day's issue are submitted to the warden for approval, but he is rarely called upon to exercise his censorship, as the editor is instructed to eliminate all personalities and sensational topics.

Any inmate can contribute articles to the Mirror, which, if found satisfactory upon being carefully examined by the editor, are published. Quite a number [pg 93] [pg 94] [pg 95] of the inmates are very competent writers, contributing regularly to the columns of their home paper.

This bright little publication was founded in 1887 by the prisoners.

For the benefit of those who have never seen this paper, we select at random the following extracts written by prisoners:

“It makes a batsman hot to have the pitcher fan him.”

“The only prisoners in this place who have a pull are the barbers.”

“A New Year's resolution will not keep by preserving it in alcohol.”

“The wife of a big-mitt politician always wears imported kid gloves.”

“When a mouse hoves in sight, a woman acts as if she had rats in her garret.”

“Sometimes the lady pickpocket will faint in your arms in order to pull your leg.”

“It makes a man awful hot under the collar to accuse him of having cold feet.”

“A Stillwater girl is so modest that she cannot take the pajamas off a murphy without blushing.”

“A boose fighter usually continues to take his little drop until the big drop of—five feet or more.”

“In a game of freeze out Thanksgiving afternoon I got cold feet when some one raised six windows.”

“When a woman becomes afflicted with St. Vitus dance it generally goes to her tongue instead of her feet.”

“Just because a boy can grow a baseball mustache is no reason why a saloon keeper should sell him a highball.”

“I do not know whether there are any lady ‘bugs’ in here or not, but there are quite a number of the other sex.”

“ ‘Y is the Fourth of July. J is the first, u is the second, l is the third and y is the fourth—of July.’ Marvelous!” [pg 96]

“Count Boni has taken part in many duels, but the only thing he ever killed was the goose that laid the golden egg.”

“The trial judge hit me so hard that I not only saw stars, but have been seeing stripes ever since he landed on me.”

“A writer says that there is no room in this country for anarchists. But I think we could find room for a few in here.”

“The one who cherishes the picture of his or her mother is scarcely beyond hope, no matter how far from the narrow path.”

“It is admitted that the tariff is the mother of trusts, but their papa, like the father of John D. Rockefeller, is clouded in mystery.”

“The people of Pennsylvania are now convinced that the contractor who built the bootblack stand in the capitol is a polished rascal.”

“When the courts register a fine against Standard oil, John D. chalks it down on a piece of ice and then places the ice where the sun will strike it.”

“With a few expert trainers and Governor Johnson for jockey the meek-eyed mule is apt to show his heels to all competitors in the presidential race of 1912.”

“Throw a few ponies of whiskey into a young man who does not possess horse sense, then arm him with a Colt pistol, and he will make an ass out of himself.”

“A French count, who is not throwing his feet under the dining room table as often as he would like to, will soon sail for this country where he expects to cop out another meal ticket.”

“In pleading his own case a prisoner in a western state quoted from Shakespeare and was rapped down by his honor who said that no eastern boo-gang talk would be tolerated in his court.”

“It is not near so disgusting to see a man with a little streamlet of tobacco juice wending its way through his chinwoodlets, as to see a woman chewing snuff and the rag at the same time.”

“When I went to sharpen my knife the other day in the cutting room I noticed a big mosquito on the frame of the grinding stone. He was evidently getting his proboscis in shape for the peek-a-boo season.”

“Eddie Foy, the famous comedian, used to sing, ‘There are [pg 97] Moments When One Wants to be Alone.’ This is the place for that Eddie. You need not look any farther or advertise Morning Telegra(w)ph.”

“Out of of a total number of one hundred and twenty-six tramps arrested in Philadelphia the other day, eighty-seven of them were baby carriage mechanics. The new woman has put this industry on the bum.”

“One of the inmates who is doing time for horse stealing, had a serious case of nightmare the other evening, Evidently he imagined he was again handling horses on the range and sheriff was gaining on him.”

“ ‘I am pleased to note,’ said Tailor Nelson, ‘The Mirror is keeping in touch with the latest sartorial fashions in this institution through this department. Coats will be worn longer by some than others is all I can say at this time.’ ”

“Uncle Sam is not seeking trouble, but he is something like the Irishman who threw his bonnet on a barroom floor and shouted, I am not looking for a fight, but there is going to be one if there is a man in the house who dares to jump on that old hat.”

“A big longshoreman in New Orleans by the name of Tim O'Keefe has challenged Jack Johnson to a rough and tumble fight. Tim has a hand as big as a ham and when unloading a vessel he uses a three hundred pound bale of cotton for a shoulder pad.”

“A woman in the east recently made her pet dog a present of a diamond collar that cost two thousand, five hundred dollars. Now I have reformed, still if I were hungry and did not have the price of a meal, I would be tempted to sandbag Fido for his sparks.”

“Cal, the sorter in shop H, who is an old sea dog himself, says that the only practical experience Sin Bad and other local fishermen ever had in the whaling line was throwing the harpoon into one of these miniature whales that are habitats of Liver Brown's free lunch counter.”

“One of the villagers here who has been accustomed to having a liquid nightcap before entering upon his nocturnal visits to Morpheus says he is compelled to have a nightcap here just before retiring—and therefore he wears one—made up of a towel. His imagination does the rest.”

There are six men employed in the print shop the year around. This includes the editor, the pressman, job man and three compositors. At times, when printers are rather scarce, it is necessary to break in a new man. Some of the men who learned the printing business in this shop have followed up and are successful at the trade. The mechanical work is performed entirely by prisoners, but the printing itself is sent to a downtown press. It is expected that a first-class press will be installed in this department in the near future, which will prove highly economical.

The Mirror department prints all the stationery used at the prison. This item alone contributes a large saving to the state each year. The job work is all of a superior quality and in as good form as could be done in any outside first-class office. All the press work is done on an eight-by-twelve Gordon press, but it is now entirely too small for the size and amount of work performed.