How he with his new female padding Comrade contrived notable subtil and safe ways to rob together; with a relation of some remarkable stories which were the effects of those consultations.

Angry I was when I perceived the appearance of day, which I knew would unavoidably rob me of my present delight and pleasure. But it was only my fear of being deprived of so much bliss made me so grossely to mistake, for I quickly found my happiness inlarged by the approaching light, my sence of seeing being now made Copartner with that of feeling. Love had now his eyes restored him, who before only groped for the naked truth in the dark. Now did we begin afresh to renew our late sweet nocturnal pastime; and could our bodies have any wayes answered our boundless desires, our bed would have been the sole concern we should have minded, till that time which must put a period to this transitory life.

But to avoid the censure of sluggishness, we all resolved to rise, and unanimously strive & contend who should make the best proof of the greatest ingenuity in contriving what may give the largest satisfaction both to mind and body. As a prÆludium to our intended purpose, and a restorative to our decayed strengths, we first resolved upon buttered Sack, with other things of like comforting natures: & now finding our selves by this first essay so much beyond expectation revived and fitted for mirth and pleasure, we straight gave order for a Dinner to be speedily prepared, whose composition should be of the choicest viands. And that the time might not seem tedious in the interim, it was put to the vote what pastime we should make choice of for divertisement. Some were for bodily exercise, but I was clearly against that, having so lately tired my self with it: besides my lameness, which was occasioned by the shot I received in my legg from my Valiant Rencountress. It was at length agreed on by all, that we should entertain our selves with Musick and Discourse. A match (said the eldest Sister) and to the intent you may see my freedom and forwardness to propagate your proposition, I shall give my assistance first to heighten your spirits by vocal and instrumental Musick: having thus broken the Ice, I question not but you will prove ready followers, and swim with me in the same streams of delight. Whereupon she took up a Lute, and having praised that instrument above all other for its sweet ravishing harmony, I will now try (said she) how my voice will agree with it, and thus sang:

Not for flattery, but due merit, we could give her no less then applause: Which though that word may savour of something of a complement, yet I will assure you there was no such thing past between us; we knew how to improve our time to a far greater advantage, leaving such empty vain expressions to such, who have little else to do then to play with a Ladies Fan, or to consume their times in combing their Perriwigs, not only in the Streets and Play-houses, but even (irreverently) in the holy places of Divine Worship.

The pertinency of this Song to the practice of our lives, did as much please us all, as the sweet harmony of that voice did ravish our delighted ears. And lest our satisfaction should any wayes cool or abate, more Musical fewel was laid on, to warm our benumbed spirits, if any such unlikely thing should happen.

Whereupon her Sister (not making use of any instrument to assist her voice, being sensible it was good and natural) frankly, and with a becoming freedom, sang to this purpose.

About to have proceeded in this manner round, we were interrupted by Dinner coming up, which came as seasonable as our stomacks could require. Waving all Ceremonies, we instantly fell to it without the tediousness of long-winded Graces; neither were we long at it, our hands and appetites being alike nimble and quick to give the body its required satisfaction.

After Dinner we had various discourses about the vanity and imbecility of the female sex: winding up our Argument, one said, She would not be a meer Woman for the whole universe, and wondered that man, so noble and rational a Soul, should so unman himself in his voluntary inslaving himself to a Womans will: I wonder how they dare boast of Conquests, when they must acknowledge they are daily overcome by a weak and feeble Creature, Woman, a thing which for want of heat sunk into that Sex.

With suchlike prattle we entertained our selves for an hour or two: and now it was put to the vote what course we should steer, and what design we should next put in execution. Different were our opinions for a while, but at last we concluded unanimously about the evening to set out and rob joyntly: the manner which we laid down was thus: The youngest sister should ride behind the eldest Sister on a Pillion in her own proper apparel, and my Virago behind me in the like female garb; and this we judged to be the safest project we could propound: for who could be so senseless to imagine us Robbers, riding in that manner double-horsed, and attended with the greatest symptomes of innocency?

Hereupon we presently fell to work, that is to say, endeavoured to get such necessaries as were most convenient for our enterprise, as Pillions, Safeguards and short Swords for my females: Pocket-Pistols they had already. Having gotten what womans attire we wanted, and all things ready, we mounted with Boots, which we dirted on purpose, to the intent those which saw us might not suspect but that we had rid many miles that day. It was about six of the Clock in the evening when we did set forth; we had not rid above two hours, but there overtook us four Horsemen, and demanded whither we were travelling? I answered them, To such a place. Now did our two subtil Queans which rid behind us play their parts to the life, pretending a great fear of being robbed, and carried their business so craftily, that they gave the Gentlemen to understand their pretended fear and jealousie: and the better to cloak our design, pray thee my Dear (said I) in a voice not over-loud, but just so that they might hear me, do not be afraid, I am confident they are no other then what they appear, that is, honest civil persons.

Hereupon, one of the Gentlemen over-hearing, rode up close to me, and comforted my supposed Wife behind, protesting they were no such persons as she imagined; that they were Gentlemen of good Estates all, and so far they were from offending any, that they would with the hazard of their lives defend the injured on the road: we seemed hereat to be much satisfied, returning them many thanks, and desiring their company, which they kindly granted, saying, Come follow, wee’l lead the way gently on; and stand between you and danger. I was glad to hear them say they would ride before, for now I judged our business to be facile, and easily done. I now whispered behind me, telling her, as soon as ever she saw me give a blow, she should immediately leap off the horse, and make use of what weapons she had: Her sister had the like instructions given her.

My Brother, as I called him, riding up close with me, received directions from me, that when we came to the bottom of the Hill, he should at the same time with me directly discharge his Truncheon on the head of his foregoer, with all the force he could sum up together.

When they least suspected us in the rear, we executed what we designed with such exact time, and so successfully, that a divided minute did not difference their fall. Our Women were as swift as lightning upon them, depriving them of all the advantages of rising, whilest we set spurs to our Horses, and overtook the other two afore, who insensible of what was done, were strangely surprized and amazed, to see our Swords and Pistols ready to dispatch our Hellish commands. Fear on a suddain had so chained up their tongues, as that they could not utter a word, till we forced them to it by threatning their unavoidable deaths if they did not instanly deliver. Being willing to ransome their lives by their moneys, they gave us what they had, as not to stand in competition with a matter of eternal concern. Having reaped our desires, we dismounted them, and cutting their Girts and Bridles, we took their pieces with the Saddles, and threw them into an obscure place. The Horses were whipt over into a field. Our Prisoners we led into a little wood, where we bound them, as the rest of our gang did, who were more expeditious then we in our work. Having finisht our business to our hearts content and security, we mounted, and so rid back again to our old quarters. Our Landlord wondered at our speedy dispatch, but had like to have exspired for joy, when he saw our booty was so considerable; for you are to understand he had a quarter-share with us. Here did we carouse and feast for a long time, not so much as thinking on any prize: and the truth on’t is, my leg grew so bad by my shot, that I could not ride but in great pain. Wherefore I resolved to lie still till its cure should be effected by my loving and skilful Landlady. My wound being healed, I resolved to follow my custom, and rob alone, not so much that my profit would be greater, but I began to be tyred with my three former dainties; nay more, they were so insatiate in those pleasures they injoyed, that my strength could not cope with such excesses. Wherefore pretending business of privacy a little way off, I gave them the slip, knowing how difficult it would be to part from them knowingly.