Some Observations concerning Love and Women; selected out of the choicest Commentators on their nature, together with his own experimental reflections.

Love ’tis confest is a Natural distemper, a kind of small Pox; most have either had it, or is to expect it, and the sooner the better. Surely I was never well cur’d on’t, or else I had not thus fallen in a Relaps. Want of knowledge misguided me at first, and so I fell into a Quagmire; but I knew not what possest me to ride afterward into another on purpose. Love-seeds when it grows up to Matrimony is good for nothing, like some Fruit-trees which must be transplanted before they will bring forth any thing. And when Love in this nature doth seed, the encrease thereof is dissatisfaction, sorrow and vexation multiplied. This afore-mentioned is not truly love but lust; for I cannot believe that that noble passion can be the ruine of its subject; neither would I have it disparaged by so unworthy an object as a woman. If there be Love, it should be to Heaven, a male-friend, relations, or our Countries preservation, and not to a Female-piece of imperfection. And yet nothing will serve the turn, but monopolizing it by Marriage, because we would make it surely our own, and nevertheless our own till then. For if she be young, she is like an Hawk upon her wing; and if she be handsome, she is the more subject to go out at check. Faulkners that can but seldom spring right game, should still have something to take them down. The lure to which all stoop in this World, is either garnisht with profit or pleasure, and when you cannot throw her the one, you must be content to shew out the other. Consider again that woman (besides the trouble) is a Rent-charge which though the curiosity of man hath often inclosed, yet he cannot for his life stop so well one gap, but it will lie open for any stragler; by which means it seldom improves or becomes fruitful. And why should a woman be denyed the liberty of breaking a pane in her own window, or not admitted the freedom of regress to her own salli-port, letting in whom she esteems as friends? If you will not give them the permission, you must be forc’d to wink when they take it, or do worse: crosse them, and they will endeavour the not leaving a crosse in your Pocket. Take it which way you will, Marriage is the dearest way of curing love. Faring with such, as it doth with those for the most part that at great charges walls in grounds and plant, who cheaper might have eaten Mellons elsewhere, than Cucumbers in their own Garden. Besides, it is a gross piece of ignorance to be bound up to love for an age, when the cause of love may perish for a month, and then the effect will follow. If it be natures paint in the face, that doth induce you; those beautiful flowers of red and white, a disease will quickly wither; if not, ravishing time will deflowre the choicest beauty.

But the ill consequents of Marriage are more to be considered, which are commonly drawn from the evil inclinations of that Sex; Eve by stumbling at the Serpents Sollicitations cast her Husband out of Paradice; nor are her Daughters surer of foot, being foundred by the heat of lust and pride. It were somthing if Marriage could answer the expectation of all she boasts the cure of; for instead of quenching the hot coals of concupiscence, it aggravates the simple sin of Fornication, making it sprout into Adultery. What might be said more as to this subject, I shall refer the Reader to the Writings of that ingenious Gentleman Mr. Francis Osborne. If any more (like boys stript and stand shivering about the brink) are ready to leap into Loves Whirl-pit, and so endanger the loss of themselves, let them first look upon love to be an idle fancy, and Wedlock of a dangerous consequence. If I could perswade you from loving, one would think the other then would be disregarded, but some to their costs can speak the contrary. In the first place, marry none but whom you love: for he that marries where he doth not love, will love where he did not marry. If you are prone to love one particular person, some are of opinion that travel is an excellent remedy: For absence doth in a kind remove the cause, removing the object. Others think that frequent visits (where as the rarity of them indears the affection) may by a surprizal discover some defects, which though they cure not absolutely, yet they qualifie the vehement heat of an amorous Feavor: and as near as can be, let it be unseasonably, either when she is in sicknesse or disorder, by that a man may know she is but mortal, and but a woman; the last would be enough to a wise man for an Antidote. Enter into discourse with her of things she daily hears not, and it will confirm the cure. Neither will it be amiss to contrive your self into the company of variety, especially such beauties which are generally cry’d up; and if you can, taste them all, (but now I think on’t, it is no matter, one is sufficient for a surfeit) for this Malady is better remedy’d this way, than by abstinence: good jovial company will much conduce to the cure.

But, I like not the prescription of Marriage, since it is the last and most dangerous receipt; like a kind of live Pigeons apply’d to the soals of the feet, which remedy to say truth, is worse than the disease: Were it possible for a Woman to be constant to one, something might be said, but I never yet tryed any which did not very much shew their displeasures when offered some kindness, but never found any to refuse them, if opportunity & privacy of place admitted their reception; which hath made me often in my own thoughts question my mothers honesty and fidelity to my Father.

What I now utter, is not derived from prejudice to that Sex, grounded on my own Wifes disloyalty; but experience tells me this, which most past sixteen very well understand, that there are few Women, let them pretend what they please, but will yield to the temptations of the flesh, and so much the sooner, by how much she professeth some new light, which is Ignis fatuus that leads them into the Quagmires of all sorts of erronious Tenents. With this dark Lanthorn-Light they dazle the eyes of such as would pry into their actions, whiles behind in the dark they sensually satisfie themselves undiscovered.

Experience dictates what I here express; for I have had converse with several of these Religious pretenders, that in the very act would very much inveigh against Adultery with their tongues, whilst their Bloods willingly consented to the commission of that sin, and then immediately after seem extremely pensive, using these and such like formal expressions: Fie, fie, I wonder how you durst sin thus, even before the face of your Creator. Do you think he saw you not? yea verily, and you shall answer for what you have now done; whereas it could never have been done without a mutual consent.

They will make it their daily discourse, speaking against such whose natural inclinations have prompted them to unlawful satisfaction of their lust, and yet they themselves are at the same time studying how they may secretly and securely accomplish the same thing.

To conclude, Woman in general is the very extract of inconstancy, and therefore it is but a vain thing for any to think she can absolutely love one man. Such who are found constant to their Husbands, preferring their welfare before the indulging of their own by-respects, ought to be lookt on no less then Miracles of their Sex, by such who are acquainted generally with Female dispositions and actions.