Coming to London, he enters himself into the society of Beggars, distinguished by these Titles, Ben seakers, Dommerars, Clapperdogeons, &c., with a short description of their Manners and Customes; as also a relation of a piece of Theft he committed.

Coming up to London, we straight way betook our selves to Newington-Butts, but by the way, my Friend could not forbear calling on his Friends in Kent-street, there they gave me a Nick-name; and my Comrade immediately fell to work, to put himself into an equipage fit for the employment we had undertaken. He needed not to alter his habit; but his chief aim was to make counterfeit Sores or Clymes, according to the term of Art that is given them. With the assistance of some of the Fraternity, he had in an hours time, such a Leg, that I could hardly look upon it without even dropping down; and thus they made it; They took unslaked Lime and Sope, mingled with the rust of old Iron: these being well temper’d together, they did spred it thick on two pieces of leather, which they apply’d to his Leg, binding it thereunto very hard, which in a short time did fret off the skin, the flesh appearing all raw; then did they take blood and rub’d it all over his Leg; which being fully dried, made the Leg appear all black, the Sore they did only let peep out of the holes of five or six matterish clouts. He soon got us a Doxie too, with a couple of children, (the fitter for our purpose) the one to carry in her arms, and the other to lead. Providing himself and me with a good lusty Filch or Stick, with a hole at the end thereof, to put in a hook if occasion should serve, to filch any thing off Hedges, &c. Away we went into Moor-fields: he would have made me a Clyme too, or an Artificial sore; but my stomack would no wayes accept of his kindness. Coming into the Fields, he planted me in a convenient place, the Doxie with her Lullaby-cheats in another; and himself in a third, not far distant from one another, that one might catch the others Maunding at the rebound. I observ’d my Friend and Rogue diligently, what he did, for my own information. One would have sworn he had been absolutely lame, for (about to lie down) he slid to the earth by his Staff; being on the ground, the first thing I took notice of; was the pitious distorting of his face into various forms, to stir up compassion in such as passed by him; to which he added, a most doleful noise to this effect; For Gods sake some tender hearted Christians, cast through your merciful eyes one pittiful look upon a sore, lame, and miserable wretch: Bestow one penny or half-penny upon him that is ready to perish, &c. I knew not how to tune my voice, for hearkening to him; which he observing (when all the people were passed by) he held up his stick at me, a strong argument of his great displeasure, which lest I might farther incur, I was forced to tone it out to some purpose. Night approaching, we left off begging, resolving to recreate our selves with what we had got: in the way home, I saw a very fine piece of Beef lying on a Butchers-stall, the woman that kept the shop, was telling a Gossips tale to her neighbour so intentively, as I thought I might seize on my prey, and she never the wiser; with that I boldly snatched it up; which an opposite neighbour perceiving, ran after me, and soon took me. I was brought back before the woman, who was so wise (forsooth) that she would not receive stollen goods, though they were her own; and so inraged she was, that nothing would serve her turn, but I must go before a Justice; and to add to my punishment, she made me carry the stollen Beef openly. Coming before his Worship, my accusation was read, aggravated by many feigned circumstances. The pitiful and sad calls of my eyes, were all the Rhetorick I used in my own vindication; which the merciful Justice perceiving, they were so prevalent, as to gain some favour from him; whereupon he ask’d the woman what she valued her Beef at? Why (said she) I would not have abated a penny of five shillings. Take heed what you say, good woman, (said he) for should you swear this, it is enough to hang him. O Lord, Sir, (said she) I would not hang him for a world; then said his Worship, You must prize it under thirteen pence half-penny; whereupon the Butchers Wife was content to value it at eight pence. The price being set, the Beef was conveyed into the Justices Kitchin, and the woman put to her Oath; having sworn, my Mittimus was made, and therewith sent to Prison. The woman now thought she should have her Beef surely, and without any danger in the reception, and therefore demanded it; but the Justice told her he would buy it of her, and so asked her what she would have for it: Sir, (said she) five shillings; I cannot afford it one farthing under. How, how! (said he) did you not swear but even now, it was worth but eight pence, and do you now talk of five shillings? A mear Cheat, Extortioner, &c. Make her Mittimus, (speaking to his Clerk) which so terrified the Woman, that she cried out most pitteously; good your Worship, do not send me to Prison, and do with me what you please. The Justice at this lookt stedfastly upon her (who was not so old but that he could discern a handsome woman when he faw her) and indeed generally your Butchers have jolly handsome Wives; otherwise they may be ashamed to serve seven years in handling and choosing good flesh for others, and at last know not how to make choice of a fine young plump juicie bit for themselves. I say, the Justice looking upon her, smiled, yet seemed to reprove her sharply, and at last pretended he had something to tell her he would not have every one hear, carried her into a withdrawing Room, where they staid not long but out she came and declared openly that she would never desire more justice done her, than that good and just Justice (as she called him) had shown her. And as I understood afterwards, he did her so much right, that she sent him in an half dozen of Bottles of Canary, and supt with him on her own flesh; I in the mean time wished them both choaked in the eating thereof; for never did Roman Catholick endure greater and severer pennance for eating flesh on Good-friday; then I for coveting this; I have lov’d a Capon the better for it ever since. For I was no sooner gotten out into the street, but I had a hundred people about me, crying which is the young Rogue; this, this is he said the Butcher, pretending to lay his hand upon my shoulder, but gave me a terrible nip by the ear, which made me roar out so loud and so suddenly unexpected, that my Gentleman Usher that was leading me by the arm to the White Lyon, starting, let go his hold. There was no dallying with so fair an opportunity, fear and love of sweet liberty so wing’d my feet, that running instantly hereupon, I was gotten presently a great way before them. The Harmanbeck, Huntsman or Constable seeing this, unable to run himself by reason of that great load of flesh he constantly carried about him, set a pack of young yelping Curs to track the scent, but they were soon all at a loss: and so I escapt their clutches.