Cordial advice, and infallible instructions for the Innkeeper, how to know Thieves from his honest Guests.

Methinks the many tragical examples of Innkeepers, who have harboured and countenanced Thieves, were sufficient (I should think) to deter those that survive from doing the like; wherefore my advice to them in general is, that their chiefest care be, not to wink at any such life-destroying actions for hope of gain, lest that sweet be imbittered by future trouble and disgrace. That you may know them, observe these Rules: First, they are extraordinary curious about their horses; they will have them as strangely drest, as strangely fed, with Mashes, Bread, Flesh, and mingled provender, and that in an unusual quantity. If any wonder at the extraordinary feeding of their horses, they will endeavour to palliate their design therein, by telling that their tricks and good abilities deserve it: nay, sometimes they will boast, that their worthy services will soon repay the cost; using the like dark words to that effect, which are palpable grounds for suspition. It is their custom likewise to ask, Whose horse is that? or, What is the owner thereof standing by? of what function or quality? whither he intends to travel? how far, and when? Observe again, that their Cloak-bags are for the most part empty, carrying them only but to make a shew. Next, the Chamberlain conducting them to their Chamber, he is presently dismist; but let him hearken, and if they are High-way men, ’tis ten to one but they fall to share what they have purchased that day; and he shall see every one taking his dividend, as well as hear the money, if he but narrowly pry into the Chamber. This they never defer, lest he which hath the purse should cheat the rest. But above all, for their discovery, make this trial; Cause one to knock hastily at the gate, giving him instructions in the mean time that attends on them, to observe their carriage then, and he shall see them start and stare in each others face with ghastly looks, being struck with fear and amazement: speak so that they may hear you, seemingly to some or other in the house, asking what Officers those are? what is their business? or whom do they look for? or the like. If they seem much frighted, bid them fear not, for none shall search where they are, to offer them any injurie; and that they are as safe with him, as in a well fortified Castle. By this means you may pry into their private thoughts and actions so far, as that you may gather, not only substantial grounds for more then bare conjectures, but it may be they will confess something too, desiring your concealment and succour, and they shall think themselves for ever ingaged: after this you may use your own discretion. Then again, you may perceive by their loitering and disregard of time, what they expect; for they only bait but to observe what purchase they can see pass by; which when they have espyed, they will pretend immediate business calls them to be gone, and so mount in great haste. Again, when they come to an Inn to lodge, they commonly come in divided, or in several Companies, frustrating the Hue and Cry by their number: besides, if one part be surprized, the other may escape; and when the residue comes in, they seem as strangers one to the other, enquiring of mine Host what their Companions are, what Country-men, whether he knows them? and if they find he hath either jealousie or suspition of any of them, they will feign some of business that necessitates their speedy departure: but if you take them for honest men, as they met by seeming chance in your Kitchin, so after some formal civil salutations, and drinking together, they soon became acquainted, and before they part, shew much familiarity. Thus as I was farther endeavouring to lay open their devices and deceits, to repair what wrong my Country had sustained by me, word was brought me, that I must immediately appear at the Bar, and there answer what should be objected against me; and it was but just that I should be now exposed to the Law of Justice, since I had so often rejected and slighted the Law of Mercy.