He buyes a Horse in Smithfield, he is basely cheated in the goodness by the Horse-Courser, the manner how; he discants on his own ill Horsemanship as he is a Sea-man. He rides to Maiden-head, his Landlady loseth a Diamond Ring, he invents an incomparable exploit to restore it her again.

My Master being an eminent Sea-man, and faithful to his trust, had no sooner cleared his Ship, but had immediately another Voyage offered him to Virginia, returning home in safety, the next he made was to the Streights; I was there with him several times at Legorn, twice in the West Indies, and twice at the Canaries; by this time my Apprentiship was expired, which I went through with so much satisfaction to my Master, notwithstanding a thousand Rogueries I committed in that time, that in our next Voyage which was to Guinny, I was advanced to the dignity of a Cockswain. Whereupon the long boat was committed to my Charge, and when any occasion served, I had my Crew always ready for the skiff; I understood my place quickly, and behaved my self in it, that our Boat Swain dying, I was constituted in his place; now was my care increased, for I had charge of all the Rigging, Masts, and Sails, with many other matters of consequence. I have heard my Master say twenty times, that he had rather hear me when we were weighing Anchor (our Men being at the Capston) cry heave clearly my boys, than a noise of Musick, for I had a strong yet pleasant voice, and I tun’d it to some purpose when the Anchor was almost a peek. In this imployment I made two Voyages to Guinny, the last thereof was so succesful that I was resolved upon my return to take the pleasures of the Land, and no places would serve my turn, but those wherein I had received so much disgrace and punishment.

In Smithfield, London, I bought an Horse, he did so caper with the Fellow that rid him, that I feared this pamper’d beast would be to skittish, for a Sailer, that never bestrid any living Creature; the Horse cost me six Pound and a Crown, I could not get the punctuality of his Rogueship to bate me the odd Mony, though in three days time forty shillings proved the utmost value of this great bargain. It was a very fair day when I set forward in my journey towards Bristol, and because the Streets were then dry, and no symptoms in the Heaven of any approaching Rain, I vainly thought there would be no occasion for Boots those intollerable cloggs of a nimble footed Sea-man. I mounted not without some dread and fear that this prancing Palfry would run away with his Master, but contrary to all expectation, I found the creature calm enough, being ready to lie down as I was getting up; much ado I had to get him to go till I had almost buryed my Heel-spur in his belly, and then he made a shift to trot; but Founder-foot on a suddain running a head, I was like to have been overset. The talness of my Horse did shew what an Ass I was to be so cheated; I might have known that within less than an hour after I had bought him, for in stead of Excrements, he evacuated an Eel at his posteriors, which I believe was conveyed into him alive by the subtle Horse courser, to make him for the present more lively and sprightful. With much difficulty I got him to Maiden-head that day; the next proving raining, my business did not require such haste, but that I might stay a day or two for fair weather.

I had Money enough, the sight whereof did strangely quicken the attendance of the Servants of the House, and my liberal expence commanded both my Land-lord and Land-ladies company; and that I might continue their society, I was incessant in the calling for Wine. My Land-lady was pre-ingaged in the company of several Gallants, so that I was like to have little of it, had it not been for an accident that befell her, which brought her into my Room where my Land-lord was. It seems one of the Gentlemen espyed a Ring on her Finger with a very fair Rose of Diamonds in it, and desiring her to let him see it for the excellency thereof; she condescended, continuing her conceited discourse, which she raised on purpose, to shew what an esteem she had for her imaginary wit, and fancy; this Gentleman delivered the Ring to another, he to a third, that man conveyed it to a fourth that were troubled with the same curiosity; but at the last it came into the hands of one that was very loath it should go any further, since it had almost past round; She being this while so busie in her tittle tattle, that she neither minded how it was canvast about, or in the least mist it off her Finger: She left the room several times, and returned; but in fine she found the loss of her Ring, not knowing whether it was restored to her by that person she lent a sight thereof, and had dropt it, or if not restored, she was ignorant of the Man, and therefore durst not tax any one particularly. I have known many a thing, as a Silver Tobacco box, &c. left carelesly upon a Table which hath been taken up in jest, but kept in earnest.

She was so puzzled she knew not what to do; and not knowing how to remedy her self, she was resolved to play the perfect Woman, sit down and cry; which she did in that pitiful manner, that I admired how any mans heart could be so hard, not to exchange a few inconsiderable Diamonds for so many inestimable Pearls that dropt from her eyes. Every one stiffly denyed the unworthiness of the detention, and seemed somewhat displeased that their glowing gallantry should be suspected of an act so ungentile and unhandsom. Seeing there was no help, and she could not conceal the loss from her Husband, she came where we were, that we might in her sad relation commiserate and condole her great affliction.

I gave much heed to every circumstance of her doleful story, and minded it so well, that I fancy’d I had a project in my head which would give her assistance. Come Madam, said I, there is a Plot which I have just now contrived, which if it take effect, you shall give me a Bottle of Canary, if not, it will be no harm for you to make a tryal.

She was very glad to hear of any proposition that might carry in it the hopes of getting her Ring again, and therefore freely promised me any thing. Why then said I, Go into your former company, but first dry your eyes, and express all seeming joy imaginable, and tell those that are inquisitive as to the cause of this suddain alteration, that you have found your Ring again, and then mark diligently that man who cunningly conveys his hand into his own Pocket my life for you that man hath the Ring. Following my advice, she re-entred her former Room, and counterfeiting an excessive joy; O Gentlemen your pardon, said she, I have found my Ring! Observing the company heedfully, she perceiv’d one stole down his hand into his Pocket, to feel whether the Ring was there, imagining, upon the hearing what she said, his Pocket had been pickt. Where is the Ring I pray Madam, said one, and where did you find it? Here Sirs, said she, have I found it, for this Gentleman hath now the Ring in his hand, which she forceably drew out of his Pocket, and so the Ring appear’d to his great shame and discredit. Her gratitude for my succesful council did that night so Sack the Garrison of my understanding, that all my Senses pro tempore suffer’d in their general devastation.