Prisons marr and not mend, giving growth to the seeds of Roguery. He is releast out of Gaol, and sent aboard a Virginia man, in order to his transportation; he makes his escape on shore in the Cock-boat from King road, and travails on foot to Barnstaple; he is entertained by an Hostler, what a notorious trick he serves his Master; and how again his Master was notably revenged of him.

In that short time of my confinement I had made a considerable addition to my stock of Boldness and Roguery, and was competently furnished with subtility and craft to manage my Roguish design: Nothing troubled me more, than that I had not my liberty to put in practice what I thought I very well understood. Thus you see a Prison most commonly mars, but seldom mends any. Whilst I was wishing for, and studying how I might procure my enlargement, a Merchant came into the Prison, and enquired for the Lad which was sentenced to be Transported; I (being overjoyed with the hopes of getting loose) prevented his further enquiry by telling him, I was the person. Hereupon he fixed his eyes upon me, which seem’d well pleased at the spackness of my youth, and pleasantly askt me; whether if I were not forc’d, I had any desire to travail: I told him I fancied it above any thing, and were I left to my liberty, would make it my choice above all things. Since that you are so willing (said he) you shall go for Virginia; and that I may be sure of you, stay here till I am ready to go, in the mean time I shall provide you necessaries, and when the time comes, pay your Fees. I presently framed a sad countenance, and begged of him for the sake of all that was Sacred, to take me with him, and I would serve him in any condition he pleased; and that if he did mistrust me, if he pleased, I would go instantly aboard. Being half perswaded I would perform what I promised, and taking compassion of my pitiful moan, called the Keeper to him, and paying my Fees, instantly sees me out before him; he would not absolutely trust me yet, and therefore bad me go straight forward till he countermanded me, which was but once in all the way, he drove me to his own house. This Gentleman was one of the most considerable Merchants in Bristol, who trading much to Virginia, questioned not but to make a considerable Return of me, being a lusty young comly Lad. By reason our ship lay by the Key side, a lusty Vessel of three hundred Tuns, carrying twenty four Guns, he would not trust me on Board, fearing lest the nearness of the Vessels lying ashore, I should have the better opportunity of making my escape: Wherefore he kept me at home with eyes enough over me; and that I might not be altogether idle, he displaced two or three old Servants of his out of their wearisom imployments, Dog-turn-spits I mean (a usual custom through the whole City) that I might take their turn. Now that my Master might not think I needed to be forced upon business, mornings, and afternoons, (wherein I had some cooling hours) I voluntarily imployed in learning to write, the sight whereof gave my Master a wonderful Satisfaction; insomuch, that he bought me a new Canvas Suit, with Shoes, Stockins, Hat, and two new Shirts, but yet would not suffer me to stir aboard.

But now our Ship being rigg’d, victualed, and all things ready for a Voyage, fell down into King-road, and he in a Boat the next day sent me aboard of her. There being now no hopes left for escaping, I endeavoured to please my self by promising my thoughts things impossible, or very improbable when I Landed in Virginia. But that night there arose a great storm the Wind blowing hard at South-East, which made a very turbulent Sea, which so frighted me, that I fully resolved if I escaped this, I would never be drowned in another like it. We rode with but one Anchor, which coming home we were forc’d to drop our shete Anchor which held us, and so rid it out.

The next Morning several of our men went ashore to the Crock and Pill, there to refresh themselves. I would have gone with them, but could not be admitted; wherefore I resolv’d ere it was long to go ashore by my self. In the day time it was impossible to attempt any such enterprize; wherefore I judged the night must assist me, or nothing would; the Wind being not fair, nor likely to be, one day most of our men took Boat, and went up to Bristol, where taking their leaves of their friends, came down to us as merry as Hawks, those that had been aboard all day, upon the return of the Ships Crew, went ashore to the Pill, where in less time, they got as considerable a Dose as the most head strong of any of the rest had done. Night coming on, sleep needed no other Harbinger to put them to rest, than their own ebriety, which soon had lull’d four parts in five into a sensless security, snoaring so loud, that I wonder they did not wake with their own noise. Now was the time I imagined, that Providence had alotted for my escape, and so seeing the Decks in a manner clear, I got into the Steerage, designing to look for the Cock-Boat, which used to be a Stearn of us, but looking out of the Port-hole I saw two lusty fellows (that were Passengers) in the Boat, and were just putting off from the Ship side. I spake softly to them, and threatned to discover them by crying out, if they would not take me in: they seeing a necessity for so doing, consented to my proposition, and in I got; they plyed the Oars so well, that we quickly got ashore, landing at Portshead, for the Bell would have been a means to discover us; and there turning our Boat a Drift, away we travelled by Land most part of that night; in the Morning by inquiry, we found our selves not farr from Mineard: we left the Town on our right hand, not daring to venture through it, and keep streight on till we came within six miles of Barnstable, there we lay in a Barn that night; my two other Comrades had a mind to go to Plimouth, but I refused to go with them, having been all suspected the day before, begging on the Road; I thought my self more secure to be alone, imagining few would suspect a Lad so young, and therefore resolved for Barnstable. Whither being come, I addressed my self to an Inn, where begging a while, the Hostler chanc’d to take notice of me, and seeing me to be a notable well trussed Lad, askt me, whether I would assist him in rubbing down Horse-heels? Yes (said I) with all my heart; he never questioned my fidelity, nor what friends I had, for he thought it would be to little purpose for so small a youngster to ride away with a Horse, riding to water, &c. The frequent falls I had, (being a bad Horseman) had like to have put me by my new occupation; for I was half of the opinion it was equally as dangerous to ride a Horse-back as to ride at Anchor: and to lift me clear out of the Saddle, my Worshipful Master did take much notice of my frequent miscarriages, and fearing lest by my unskilful riding, or some other accident I should have my neck broken one time or other and so be forced to keep me, he was resolved to turn me off; that which confirmed him in his resolution, was a scurvy trick I served him, which was intended for the Tapster, which is as followeth.

The Tapster of our Inn, when he found me any time at leisure, would commonly imploy me in attending his Guests, drawing Drink, and so forth; I seldom went into the Cellar, but I would be sure to drench my throat; for I thought I had wronged my Mouth, if I had missed one time, by which means he could not but catch me sometimes; at first he took little notice, but finding me to make it a common practice, every time he so caught me, he made my ears pay for the injuries my mouth did him; but one time above the rest, he did beat me in the Cellar so unmercifully with a Hoop-stick, that after it I thought I needed at least twenty of them to keep my ribs together: the continual pain this beating put me to, did also rack my inventions in studying how I might be revenged of him: I could find no other way but this; observing the Tapster to be very laxative, I went and consulted the House of Office, and found the middle Board to be suitable and serviceable to my purpose; for by loosing of but two or three Nails I could make it turn topsy turvy, like a Trencher with a Tub of water to catch Mice withal; but I II I plumm’d the depth of the Vault, and found it in Golden Oar not above a yard in depth; finding that I should not hazzard his life by this enterprize, and having a brave opportunity to drink that night, (there being great store of Guests in our House) I swallowed so much for joy that my project would take, that my eyes were miskie: however all being abed, and I the last up, resolved to be the first in the morning to prevent others from dropping into the Pit-fall; knowing well from former experience that our loose Tapster would be the early, and first handseller of this design.

At length growing exceedingly drowsie, I fell asleep under the Manger, a wonder to me since, that the Horses by treading on me, had not spoiled my face, or some other part: about four of the Clock in the Morning I was awakened out of my sleep, by an exceeding Griping of my Guts, and found a great pronness to go to Stool; the fumes that ascended from the excess of Drinking Ale the night past, had not only intoxicated my Brain, but for that time so depraved my memory, that I remembred not any thing of the Trap I had laid for the Tapster; wherefore to obey Natures commands, I ran hastily into the House of Office, with my Breeches in my hands, and treading on the Board, it slipt up, and in I dropt.

I thought once to have cried out for help, but hang it thought I, it is better punish my nose a while, than lose my revenge: wherefore placing the Board (which I could easily reach) even again, I crept up into the corner of the Vault. I waited a great while, but none came, till my patience was almost worn out; but at last I heard the tread of some ones footing, I supposing it to be the Tapsters, was even over-joyed; But it was my Master, stepping boldly into the House of Office, and treading on the same Board, slipt into it as I had done before; whereupon catching him about the neck (for I was almost up to the Chin) which had like to have frightned him more than his fall; welcome said I, the welcomest man living; you might have come sooner, I have waited here an hour at least; he thinking the Devil had been in the Vault (for he could not conjecture any mortal could endure to be there so long) cri’d out as loud as his Wind-pipe (which was Organ-Tenor size) would permit; which doubling, he at length drew help unto him, they sent him the end of a Broomstick (preserving their hands for a sweeter imployment) by the help of which he got out; but no sooner was he on his Feet, but without so much as thanking them, cries out, the Devil is in the Vault, and so ran distractedly into the House; The People hearing him say so, ran after him, leaving me to shift for my self. There might I have staid long enough, had not my own hands helpt me out. Being in the House he smelt stronger than twenty of Tom-Ponds put all together, and so great was his fright, that that added somewhat to the strong scent, if any addition could be made. He was perswaded first to wash, and change his habit, before they asked any questions concerning this strangely surprizing adventure, for it was impossible to entertain any discourse with him. In the mean time I having got out, ran immediately into the Horse-pond, and there rowled and wash’t my self all over, and coming out, finding that would not absolutely do, I uncloathed my self, taking my Doublet first, and washing that throughly, and so my Breeches, with my Shirt, and every thing else about me, I washed severally and distinctly from those fetid impurities, they had contracted in the House of Office.

By this time my Master the Hostler had shifted himself, and abundance of the Neighbours were gathered about him, to be informed how this disaster befell him. Why surely Sirs (said he) it must be the Devil, and no body else, that owed me a shame, and now paid me home; at that very instant I came into the room where my Master was, who seeing me in that manner dropping, and looking as bad, as one that had been drawn through a Common-shore; How now (said he) whence comest thou? What hast thou been doing? Master, said I, (if I mistake not) you were talking just now of the Devil owing you a shame, pray tell me what it was, and how he paid it you home, and I shall acquaint you with his late too much familiarity with me. Hereupon my Master repeated what he had related before briefly to me, telling me, that going to the House of Office this morning early, he had no sooner stept within the doors, but the Devil, (for he was sure on’t he said) unjoynted a Board, and pull’d him into the Vault, and then jear’d him by welcomeing, him into that stinking place. O Master (said I) as you were served, so was me your Boy (though somewhat differing in manner) and I think by the same splightful Devil: For coming out of the Stable by four in the morning, I was catcht up, and thrown upon our great Dung-mixen, there was I rowled to and fro for half an hour, and at last rowled into our Horse-pond; out of which with much difficulty I scrabbled out with my life; you see what a pickle I was in. This I feigned, that he might not think me guilty of that Plott I had laid for another, but was every whit as glad, it did light on him, for his beating me so often unmercifully.

Large was the talk of this strange accident, most not knowing what to think on’t. He for his part a while did foolishly believe that some infernal Spirit owing him some ill will, had thus abused him, till by some apparent Symptomes he had discovered, he concluded me the Author. To the intent he might the more fully revenge himself on me, he took no notice on what had passed, neither did he express any dissatisfaction towards me. One Night about 11 and 12 a Clock, when the whole Family were most of them in Bed, he merrily askt me whether I had any Money; yes, said I, here is two pence. Come on, said he, I will wager with thee a Pot, I will jump further at twice, than thou shalt do at five times; done, said I; Where shall the place be: Why here said he in this very Entry where we are. He began first, and made three large jumps which reacht as far as the Threshold of the outer dore. Having so done, I followed him, and at the fourth, I toucht the Threshold with my Toes: and then straitning my self to shew my nimbleness and activity, I leaped a great way into the Street; he perceiving that, shut the door against me, locking it, he spake through the Key-hole, saying, Good night, look your lodging elsewhere, your Lordship is to nimble for me. My entreaties were many and urgent to let me in, but I found him so inexorable, that had I supplicated his Horses, I might have found as much favour, as from this Esquire of the manger.