He lighteth on a company of Canting Beggars, and is stalled one of their society, is married to a Doxy, with the manner of their wedding.

This company that I thus happened into was a Crew of Canting Beggars, Pilgrims of the vast earth, the offspring of Cain, vagabonds and wanderers over the whole world, fit Companions for such who make a trade for Idleness and Roguery, and these were at this time fit companions for me, who seeing the merry life they led, resolved to make one of their company, whereupon (after I had a little more ingratiated my self amongst them, and taken two or three cups more of Rum-booz) I imparted my inventions to one of the chief of them, telling him that I was a Prentice who had a curst Master, whose cruelties had caused me to run away from him, and that what ever fortune might betide me, yet should not the most necessitous condition I could be plunged into, ever make me to return to him again, and therefore if I might be admitted into their society, I should faithfully observe and perform what rules and orders were imposed upon me.

He very much applauded me for my resolutions, telling me that to be a Beggar was to be a brave man since it was now in fashion for brave men to beg. Do not we (said he) come all into the world like arrant Beggars, without a rag upon us; and do not we all go out of the world like Beggars, without any thing saving only an old sheet to cover us? shall we then be ashamed to walk up and down in the world like Beggars, with old Blankets pinn’d about us? no, no, that were a shame to us indeed; have we not the whole kingdom to walk at our pleasure? are we afraid of the approach of Quarter-day? do we walk in fear of Bailiffs, Serjeants and Catch-poles? whoever knew an arrant Beggar arrested for debt? is not our meat drest in every mans Kitchen? does not every mans cellar afford us beer? and the best mens purses keep a penny for us to spend?

Having by these words (as he thought) fully fixed me in love with begging, he then acquainted the Company with my desires, who were all of them very joyful thereof, being as glad to add one to their society, as a Turk is to gain a Proselite to Mahomet. The first question that they asked me was, if I had any Loure in my Bung? I stared on them not knowing what they meant, till at last one told me it was mony in my purse; I told them I had but eighteen pence, which I freely gave them; this by a general vote was condemned to be spent in Bouse for my initiation. Then they commanded me to kneel down, which being done, one of the chief of them took a Gage of Bowse, which is a quart of drink, and poured the same on my head, saying, I do by vertue of this Soveraign liquor, stall thee to the Rogue, and make thee a free Denizen of our ragged Regiment; so that henceforth it shall be lawful for thee to Cant and to carry a Doxy or Mort along with thee, only observing these rules. First that thou art not to wander up and down all Countries, but to keep only to that Quarter which is allotted to thee! and secondly, thou art to give way to any of us that have born all the Offices of the Wallet before thee, and upon holding up a finger to avoid any Town or Country village where thou seest we are forraging to victual our army that march along with us. Observing these two rules, we take thee into our protection, and adopt thee a Brother of our numerous society.

He having ended his oration, I rose up, and was congratulated by all the Company, hanging about me like so many dogs about a Beare, and leaping and shouting like so many mad men, making such a confused noyse with their gabling, that the melody of a dozen oyster-wives at Billingsgate, the scolding at ten Conduits, and the Gossipings of fifteen Bake-houses were not comparable unto it. At length he that stalled me cryed out for silence, bidding the French and English Pox to light on their throats for making such a yelping; then fixing his eyes upon me, he read a Lecture to me out of the Devils Hornbook as followeth.

Now (saith he) that thou art enter’d into our fraternity, thou must not scruple to act any villanies which thou shall be able to perform; whether it be to nip a bung, bite the Peter, Cloy the Lurries, Crash either a Bleating cheat, Cackling cheat, grunting cheat, quacking cheat, Tib oth buttery, Margery prater, or to Cloy a Mish from the Crackmans: that is, to cut a purse, steal a Cloak-bag or portmantle, convey away all manner of Cloaths, either a Sheep, Chicken, sucking Pig, Duck, Goose, Hen, or steal a shirt from the hedg; for he that will be a Quier Cove, a profest Rogue, must observe this rule, set down by an ancient Patrico in these words.

And because thou art as yet but a Novice in begging, and understandest not the mysteries of the Canting language, to principle thee the better, thou shalt have a Doxy to be thy Companion, by whom thou maist receive fit instructions for thy purpose. And thereupon he singled me out a young Girl of about fourteen years of age, which tickled my fancy very much that I had gotten a young wanton to dally withal; but this was not all, I must presently be married unto her after their fashion by their Patrico, (who amongst Beggars is their Priest) which was done after this manner.

They got a Hen, and having cut off the head of it, laid the dead body upon the ground, placing me on the one side of it, and my Doxy on the other; this being done, the Patrico standing by, with a loud voice bid us live together till death did us part; then one of the Company went into the yard and fetcht a dry Cow-turd, which was broken over my Dox’s head in imitation of a Bride-cake; and so shaking hands, and kissing each other, the Ceremony of the wedding was over, and for joy of the marriage we fell to drinking afresh, till we were all as drunk as Beggars; but then to hear the gabling noyse we made, would have made you to have blest your self, to hear such a Babel of confusion amongst us, some were jabbering in the Canting Language, others in their own, some did nothing but weep and protest love to their Morts, others swore swords and daggers to cut the throats of their Doxy’s if they found them tripping; one would drink a health to the Bride till he slavered again, some were for singing Bawdy songs, others were divising Curses for Justices of Peace, Head-boroughs, and Constables; at last night approaching, and all their mony being spent, we betook us to a Barn not far off, where we coucht a Hogshead in the darkmans, and went to sleep.