Mistress Mary relates a notable story of a Countrey-Gentleman’s cheating a Gold smith; another much more remarkable, of a Gentlemans Boy by assistance of his Master, who put a notable trick on a Goldsmith: afterwards going for France, is notoriously robb’d by way of retaliation, the manner how, withwith his accompanying a seeming Gallant to a Feast who steals a piece of Plate.

Having now finished my discourse, I desired Mistress Dorothy to proceed in hers, and put an end to her Adventures, to which she replyed, that since I was so well acquainted with these passages, and could recount things so various and wittily-pleasant, which far exceeded anything she could say, she desired to be excused from any further recital; I told her I must needs however, hear what she could further say, for all she had hitherto said was various from what I had related to her; and Mistress Mary likewise joyned with me in this request, telling her that she must needs proceed in her Narrative, for she longed to hear what was the end of the Host, and Hostess, and how she left them and came to London, and what else had hapned to her till the first of their Acquaintance. Truly replyed Mistress Dorothy, I shall give you satisfaction to all these particulars; but methinks you were but short in your Narrative and might have enlarg’d; and since you did as I believe, omit many passages of your Life that were considerable, I pray let us hear some of them from you. I must confess, said Mistress Mary, that in the recital I made you of my actions, I only recounted to you those things which did pertain to my own story, as thinking it impertinent to relate any others; but if I had thought it pleasant, I could likewise have told you of some such Robberies and Cheates, as some of my acquaintance were engag’d in. It is not too late to do it now, said I to her; and seeing Mistress Dorothy is not yet pleased to continue her story, I pray you therefore to let us know some of your experience in this nature. I shall not deny your request, replyed Mistress Mary, and therefore after some little pause to recollect her self of what she had to say; she thus began.

I must confess that I had several of my Customers whilest I liv’d publickly at London, who although they come to me full, return’d empty, and then necessity put them upon unlawful courses, and when they could not live of themselves, then they liv’d by shirking upon others; this was their first step, and when this would not do, and they began to be angry and discontented that they could not wear money in their pockets, they then fell to gameing, and all the Cheats of that Mystery were put in practice; when that course left them, the next was to pick pockets, steal Cloaks, and a hundred such kinde of shirking tricks, till from one degree to another they came to the high pad, and from thence to the Goal, and so to the Gibbet; many I say, of my acquaintance did run through all these Courses, and beginning, as they say, with a pin, proceeded to a point, and so to a biggar thing, till the rope held them; but I alwayes made it my business to leave them off when they began these Courses. Among others that came to me, I had a Country Gentleman who designing to deal honestly with a shop-keeper, had occasion to out-wit him, who intended to cheat the Country-man. The Countrey Gentleman when he came to me had his Pockets well lined with Half-Crown Pieces, but he loving his pleasure I made him pay for it so considerably, that his Pocket was well near emptied: he had twenty Pieces of Gold and several Rings, part of which I design’d to be Mistress of, but he was to wise and wary to part from any such precious Commodities: but an urgent occasion happening, and mony being wanting, he was resolved to sell a Diamond Ring that he had, which was worth fifty pounds, wherefore he keeping a Servant took him along, and to Lombard-street they went, when he came there, pitch’d upon a Goldsmiths Shop where he intended to sell it; he therefore drew off his Ring, and ask’d the Goldsmith what it was worth? The Goldsmith looking on him, and then on the Ring, did hope to make this Ring his own for a small matter; and seeing our Countrey-man in a plain Countrey Habit, did believe that he had little skill in Diamonds, and that this came accidentally to his possession, and that he might purchase it very easily, wherefore he being doubtful what to answer as to Price, told the Countrey-man that the worth of it was uncertain, for he could not directly tell whether it was right, or counterfeit; As for that, said the Countrey-man, I believe it is right, and dare warrant it, and indeed I intend to sell it, and therefore would know what you will give me for it: Truly, replyed the Goldsmith, I believe it may be worth ten pounds; Yes, and more money, said the Countrey-man; Not much more, said the Goldsmith, for look you here, said he, here is a Ring which I will warrant is much better than yours, and I will also warrant it to be a right good diamond, and I will sell it you for twenty pounds: This the Goldsmith said, supposing that the Countrey-man who came to sell, had no skill, inclination, nor money to buy; but the Countrey-man believing that the Goldsmith onely said thus, thinking to draw him on to part from his own Ring the more easily, and by that means cheat him, resolv’d if he could, to be too wise for the Goldsmith; wherefore taking both the Rings into his hands as to compare them together, he thus said: I am sure mine is a right Diamond: and so is mine, reply’d the Goldsmith: and said the Countrey-man, shall I have it for twenty pounds? Yes, reply’d the Goldsmith; but said he, I suppose you come to sell, and not to buy; and since you shall see I will be a good Customer, I will give you fifteen pounds for yours. Nay reply’d the Countrey-man, since I have had my choice to by or sell, I will never refuse a good Penny-worth, as I think this is, therefore Master Goldsmith, I will keep my own and give you money for yours: Where is it? said the Goldsmith hastily, and endeavouring then to seize on his Ring; Hold a blow there, said the Countrey-man, here’s your money, but the Ring I will keep. The Goldsmith seeing himself caught, flustered and flounced like a mad man, and the Countrey-man pulling out a little Purse, told down twenty Pieces of Gold, & said, Here Shop-keeper, here’s your money; but I hope you will allow me eighteen pence a piece in exchange for my Gold. Tell not me of exchange, but give me my Ring, said the Goldsmith: It is mine, said the Countrey-man, for I have bought it and paid for it, and have witness of my Bargain. All this would not serve the Goldsmith’s turn, but he curs’d & swore that the Countrey-man came to cheat him, & his ring he would have; & at the noise several people came about his Shop, but he was so perplexed that he could not tell his Tale, and the Countrey-Gentleman could; at length a Constable came, and although the Goldsmith knew not to what purpose, yet before a Justice he would go: the Countrey-man was content, and therefore together they went; when they came there, the Goldsmith who was the plaintiff, began his Tale, and said, that the Countrey-man had taken a Diamond Ring from him worth one hundred pounds; and would give him but twenty pounds for it, have a care what you say, reply’d the Country-man; for if you charge me with taking a ring from you, I suppose that is stealing; and if you say so, I shall vex you farther than I have done, and then he told the Justice the whole story as I have related, which was then a very plain case, & for proof of the matter, the Countrey-Gentleman’s man was witness. The Goldsmith hearing this, alleadged, that he believed the Countrey Gentleman and his man were both Impostors and Cheats: to this the Countrey-man reply’d as before, that he were best have a care he did not make his case worse, and bring an old house on his head by slandering of him, for it was well known that he was a Gentle-man of three hundred pounds per Annum, and liv’d at a place he nam’d but twenty miles from London; and that he being desirous to sell a ring, came to his shop to that purpose, but he would have cheated him; but it prov’d he only made a rod for his own breech, and what he intended to him, was fallen upon himself: thus did the Country Gentleman make good his discourse, and the Justice seeing there was no injustice done, dismiss’d them; but order’d that his Neighbour the Goldsmith should have the twenty pieces of Gold for twenty pounds, though they were worth more in exchange; and this was all the satisfaction he had. The Country Gentleman went presently to a Citizen, an acquaintance of his, to whom he deliver’d the ring he had so purchased, desiring him to sell it for him which he did; for being known to be a Citizen, the Goldsmith that bought it offered him at the first word Ninety five pounds for it, and in the end gave him forty shillings more, with which money he returned to the Countrey-man, and he giving him the forty shillings for his pains, returned with the rest to me, relating all the matter as it had passed. I was as much pleas’d as he, because I question’d not but I should partake with him, and so I did; for he gave me ten pound to buy me a Gown; and thus was our Goldsmith well enough serv’d. And it was not long after, before another Goldsmith had a considerable loss, and thus it was.

Amongst the other Customers that came to me, there was a Gentleman, a Blade of fortune, who although he was of a good Family, yet being a younger Brother, had but little besides his wits to live upon; but as he was a Gentleman, so kept himself in a Garb according to his Quality, and had a foot boy in a Livery to attend him: this boy was a notable young Rogue, and had assisted his Master in many an exploit, and was privy to most of his secrets: this young man (continued Mistress Mary) coming to visit me, and we falling into discourses of wit, I related to him the adventure of the Countrey-Gentleman with the Goldsmith; he was much pleased with the relation, and told me the Goldsmith was well enough served, and that above all trades, he had a greater picque or anger against them than any; for (said he) it grieves me to the heart to walk through Cheapside or Lombard-street, with little or no moneyes in my pocket, and see so much jingling of money in their Shops, and so great a quantity of Jacobus’es and other Gold, either lying in their Glass-cases, or telling on the Compters, and methinks when I see it my fingers itch to be handling of some of them; but I believe if a Gentleman should starve they would not part from any without very good Security; but (said he) I have now thought upon a way how to get some of them without much hazard; and I being desirous to know, he told me thus: my boy and I will walk along; and Sirrah, said he to the boy, when I make a small stop, do you go into the Goldsmiths Shop where you shall see them telling of money; and laying your hand upon a heap, catch up a handful, but so soon as you have taken it up, let it fall down again and leave it where you had it, and come after me and leave the rest to my management; the boy promis’d to do as he was directed: but, said I, what advantage can you make by your boys handling of money and leaving it behind him? as for that, said he, I question not before I have done I shall make a good business of it, and thereupon he left me, and went immediatly to put this his project in execution; he returned that evening and told me all was well yet, and it would be better in time: I desired to know his meaning, whereupon he told me, that according to his appointment the boy went into the Goldsmiths shop, took up a handful of money, laid it all down again and ran away to him, that he was no sooner come to him, but the Goldsmiths Servants were at his heels, that he looking about and seeing them, ask’d what the matter was? they reply’d, his boy had stollen some money: he answer’d he knew it was false, they said it was true; and he should go back with them to their Master: the boy was content, and so was the Master, when coming to the Shop, the Goldsmith himself said that that Boy, if he were his, had robb’d him. The Boy and his Master both denyed it, and they fell to hot words, so that the Goldsmith call’d me (said the Gentleman) Shirking Fellow, and that he would have me sent to Newgate for robbing him: for if the boy did it, it was by my appointment: I (said the Gentleman) told him that he did abuse me, and that in conclusion must, and should pay for it: but first I desired to know with what Sum they charged the boy; they said they knew not, but that he had taken money from a heap which they were telling of, which heap was a hundred pounds; hearing them say thus, I told them I would stay the telling of it, and then they might judge who had the abuse: they were content with it, and accordingly went to telling: half an hour had dispatched that matter, and then they found that they had all their money right to a farthing. The Goldsmith seeing this, asked my pardon for the affront: for, said he, it is a mistake: I answer’d, that he must pay for his prating, and that I was a Person of that quality that would not put up the affront, and that he must hear further from me; he seeing me so hot, was as chollerick as I, and so we parted, and thus far (said he) I have proceeded. But all this while (said I) I do not see where is your gain: that is to come, said he, and so it was, and did come in, and that considerably too; for the next day he caused the Goldsmith to be arrested in an action of Defamation, and the Sergeant who arrested him being well fee’d by the Gentleman, told the Goldsmith that he were best to compound the matter, for the Gentleman was a Person of Quality, and would not put it up, but make him pay soundly for it, if he proceeded any further. The Goldsmith being desirous of quiet harkned to his counsel, and agreed to give 10l. but that would not be taken; but twenty pounds was given to the Gentleman, and so the business was made up for the present. Our Gentleman who had some of the Goldsmiths money, was resolv’d to have more, or venture hard for it; wherefore having again given instructions to his Boy what to dowhat to do, he made several Journeys to the Goldsmiths, walking by his door to watch an opportunity, at length he found one; for he seeing the Servants telling of a considerable quantity of Gold; he gave the sign to his Boy, who presently went in and clapping his hand on the heap, took up and brought away a full handful, and coming to his Master gave it him; neither did the Boy make such haste out of the Shop, but that he could hear a stranger who was in the Shop receiving money, say to the Apprentice, why do you not stop the Boy? no, said the Apprentice, I do not mean it, I know him well enough, my Master paid Sauce lately for stopping him; and so they continued telling their money, which I am sure did not fall out so right as formerly; for that evening the Master and Boy both came to my lodging, and not only told me how they had sped, but I saw the effects of their enterprize; for this young rogue had brought off with him between forty and fifty brave yellow pieces; we all three rejoyced at our good fortune, for I was concerned, having five pieces of it given to me, I then told the Gentleman that he had run a very great hazard, and that I did not think he had practis’d these tricks; no truly, replyed he, this is the first I ever did in England, but I have been abroad in France and other Countreys, where I was acquainted with rare ingenious fellows at these tricks, and they had notable inventions to get moneys; and sometimes I would put in as a Party with them, and from them it was that I learned this confidence: I then desired him to relate to me some of his practises in those Countreys, he soon granted my request, and began as followeth.

I had not been long in Paris but I had some tricks put upon me; the first was this, I endeavoured to appear brave, made a rich Sute and Cloak, and with this strutted about the streets to shew my self, hoping and expecting that some French Madam or other would fall in love with me, but instead of that, some of these Gentlemen Divers fell in love with my Cloak, and were resolved to have it, wherefore they watched me one evening and as it growing late I was going home to my Quarters passing through a blind Lane where was nothing but back doors of Gentlemens stables; three fellows seized on me, one dives into my pockets, whence he fish’d out all the little money I had about me, which amounted to above thirty shillings English, another draws his knife and cuts the Neck-button of my Cloak, and the third takes off my hat; I had not lost all my spirits, so that I told them they did very uncivily by me to take away my hat, and leave me to walk without one; they begun to swear at me and forc’d me to entreat for my hat, and withal considering that the loss of my Cloak would spoil my Suit, I told them that I hoped as they were Gentlemen, so they would hear reason, and offered if they would put any price upon the Cloak I would redeem it; they thinking money would do them more good than the Cloak, told me that if I would give them five pounds, I should have it: the Cloak stood me in ten pounds, and therefore I was resolved to give them five pounds, therefore I desired them to name the place and time when I should meet them with the money; they answered me the next evening about that time, and in a place there adjoyning in the street; but they told me that if I thought by that appointment to bring any with me to catch them, that then they would mischief me; I promis’d them that I would not, and so we departed, but withal they were so civil as to give me my Hat along with me; I went home to my Lodging, and though I was vexed at my misfortune, yet I was forced to rest with patience till the next evening when putting the promis’d money in my pocket, went at the time to the place appointed; I had not staid there long but I heard the noise of a Coach, and on a sudden two men came out at the boot, and seising on me muffled me in one of their Cloaks and put me into the Coach; this done, the Coach-man did drive on apace, and I was in but bad taking to think what a case I was in, and did verily believe that those fellows who had the last night taken my money and Cloak from me, had now a Design upon my life, and therefore were come themselves, or had sent some of their Companions, to rob and kill me, I had not continued long in these thoughts but the coach stopt, and I was taken out of it, and being carried into a Court-yard, was unmuffled, and led into a great Hall, where I was met by those three who had the night before Dis-cloak’d me; they told me I was wel-come, and that what had been done to me that evening was only to prevent their being out-witted and discovered by me, and withal, as I was a stranger, to treat and entertain me amongst them; I hearing that it was no worse Pluck’d up my Spirits and answer’d them, that I was resolv’d to be in every thing as good as my word, and therefore came alone to the place appointed, and had brought my money with me; they then led me through the Hall into an adjoyning Wardrobe which was full of Cloaks, Gowns, Hatts, Swords, and all such kind of Habiliments, and among the rest I saw my Cloak, wherefore I told out the money and took my Cloak, put it on, and went into the Hall amongst them, there I was welcomed by several of the Gang and they had women amongst them, who all looked on me with a cheerful countenance, & treated me very civily. This they all desired of me that if I intended their friendship and my own safety, I must not take any notice of them before any company, or if I met them abroad; I promis’d to perform this Injunction, and so we went to supper, after that to dancing, and spent three or four hours in very pleasant manner, and then several of them departing I thought it was time for me to do so too, but I believed it would be convenient to ask leave before I went; wherefore I told those whom I best knew, that I was amind if they pleas’d, to go home; they told me that I might do so, but it must be in the same manner as I came; I consented to it, and two of them going into the Coach with me, hid my face for a short space, and then let me see; but I quickly perceived that I had gone through several By-lanes and passages, and at length came to the place where I had been taken up, and there they set me down, and the Coachman whirling about left me in a moment; I therefore went the ready way home to my Lodging, where I went to bed and consulted with my self about this Adventure, not having known or heard of the like; but it was not many days before I was engaged in another which was as strange as the former. Although I was in a strange Countrey, yet I had some acquaintance whom I visited sometimes; One day being solitary a walking, I met with one of these of my acquaintance, he saluted me very courteously, and told me he supposed I was minded to break off the friendship we had lately contracted because I had been so great a stranger at his house: I replyed, that I intended suddenly to give him a visit; I pray then, Sir, said he, let it be to morrow, the sooner the better, for I have a great desire to converse with you; and Sir, said he, if you have any friend bring him with you, and for your sake he shall be as welcome as your self; I replyed, it was very likely that I should wait upon him, and thus we parted: I remember since that about the time I met this friend, I was overtaken by a gentile fellow, who had followed me like my shaddow, and during the time of this converse he waited as I did, and now I being parted from my friend, and having walked a little faster than before, I had dropt my Gentleman who sauntred behind. The next day about the time that mortals whet their Knives on Thresholds, and Shooe-soles, I prepared to go to dinner to my friends, and again by the way I was accosted by this gentile fellow, who had the day before followed me, and now he did so again; and when I came to my friends house and entred, there he did so too, and with as much confidence as if he had been of great acquaintance with the Inviter; he sate down among other Guests that were there, Dinner was soon after brought in, and there being several Guests much victuals, and much variety was served at the Table, my strange Gentleman did eat as heartily and talk as boldly as any there, and I thought him to be one of the Inviters acquaintance, and he supposed he was my friend which I had brought with me; but he proved to be very no good friend to the man of the house, for waiting his opportunity he went to the Cupboards head which stood in a convenient place, and clapping a piece of plate worth ten pounds under his Cloak, he walked off incognito. I soon after missed him, and my friend missed my friend as he told me, but it was not much longer e’re the Plate was missing, and although private search was made, yet it was not found, and our friend being gone, the Inviter missing none of the Guests but him, asked me for him, but when I told him he was no friend nor acquaintance of mine, he soon knew which way his Plate went. Thus (said he) he thinking him to be my friend, and I thinking him to be his, this fellow had the conveniency of doing this injury; but, continued he, I soon understood that it was a usual matter to play such pranks and that more considerable, and that withal a very bold confidence, unusual with other Nations, and upon second thoughts I remember I had seen this fellow among those who had my Cloak, but it was too late now to remember it, and it had been unsafe then to have taken any notice of him, remembring the Charge had been given me.