William Carew Hazlitt

Enter Francisco, reading a letter.

Franc. My dearest Luce, were thy old sire as just
As thou art truly constant, our firm love
Had never met these oppositions.
All my designs as yet, all practices
That I have us'd, I see are frustrated;
For, as my fair intelligencer writes,
He will before the next court-day provide
Some careless parson, that in spite of laws
Shall marry her to Shallow: this being done,
He means to hold the court's severity
In by a golden bit, and so he may.
Alas! it is too true; I must prevent it,
And that in time, before it grow too far:
But how? there lies the point of difficulty:
But what strange sight is this that greets mine eyes?
Alphonso, my old captain! sure, 'tis he.

Enter Alphonso.

Alph. Thus once again from twenty years' exile,
Toss'd by the storms of fortune to and fro,
Has gracious heaven given me leave to tread
My native earth of Sicily, and draw
That air that fed me in my infancy.

Franc. 'Tis he! Most noble captain, O, what power
Has been so gracious as to bless mine eyes
Once more with sight of my most honour'd master?

Alph. Kind youth, the tears of joy that I have spent
To greet my native country have quite robb'd
Mine eyes of moisture, and have left me none
To answer thy affection. But tell me—
Tell me how thou hast liv'd in Syracuse
These five years here, since that unlucky storm
Divided us at sea.

Franc. Faith, poorly, sir:
As one that knows no kindred or alliance,
Unknown of any have I shifted out.
But I have heard you say that I was born
In Syracuse: tell me what stock I come of,
What parentage; how mean soe'er they be,
They cannot well be poorer than myself:
Speak, do you know them, sir?

Alph. Yes; very well,
And I am glad the fates have brought me home,
For thy dear sake, that I may now disclose
Thy honourable birth.

Franc. Honourable!

Alph. Yes, noble youth, thou art the second son
To old Lord Euphues; a man more worthy
And truly noble never drew this air.
Thy name's Lysandro: this discovery
Will be as welcome to your friends as you.

Franc. You do amaze me, sir.

Alph. I'll tell you all.
It was my fortune twenty years ago,
Upon the Tyrrhene shore, whose sea divides
This isle from Italy, to keep a fort
Under your noble father, where yourself,
Then but a child, was left to my tuition:
When suddenly the rude assailing force
Of strong Italian pirates so prevail'd,
As to surprisal of the fort and us.
Your name and noble birth I then conceal'd,
Fearing some outrage from the enmity
Of those fell pirates; and since from yourself
I purposely have kept the knowledge of it,
As loth to grieve your present misery
With knowledge of what fortunes you had lost.
That this is true, you straight shall see th' effect:
I'll go acquaint your father with the tokens.
And make his o'erjoy'd heart leap to embrace
Thee his new-found and long-forgotten son.

Franc. Worthy captain, your presence was always
Welcome to me, but this unlook'd-for news
I cannot suddenly digest.

Alph. Well, I'll go to him presently.
[Exit Alphonso.

Franc. Now, my dear Luce, I shall find means to 'quite
Thy love, that couldst descend so low as I,
When I was nothing, and with such affection.
This was my suit still to the powers above,
To make me worthy of thy constant love.
But I'll about the project I intended.
[Exit Francisco.

Enter Virro and Polymetes.

Pol. Why, now, my lord, you are nearer to her love than ever you were yet; your rival by this accident shall be removed out of the way; for before the scornful girl would never fancy any man else.

Vir. I conceive you, sir.

Pol. I laboured it for your sake as much as for my own, to remove your rival and my enemy: you have your love, and I have my revenge.

Vir. I shall live, my lord, to give you thanks. But 'twill be after a strange manner, if Irus has despatched what he was hired to: then, my kind lord, I shall be a little too cunning for you.
[Aside.

Pol. My lord, you are gracious with the king.

Vir. I thank his majesty, I have his ear before another man.

Pol. Then see no pardon be granted; you may stop anything; I know Euphues will be soliciting for his son.

Vir. I warrant you, my lord, no pardon passes whilst I am there; I'll be a bar betwixt him and the king. But hark! the king approaches.

Enter King, with Attendants.

Ambo. Health to your majesty.

King. Count Virro and Lord Polymetes, welcome:
You have been strangers at the Court of late,
But I can well excuse you, count; you are about a wife,
A young one, and a fair one too, they say.
Get me young soldiers, count: but speak,
When is the day? I mean to be your guest;
You shall not steal a marriage.

Vir. I thank your majesty; but the marriage that I intended is stolen to my hand, and by another.

King. Stolen! how, man?

Vir. My promised wife
Is lately stol'n away by Philocles,
Lord Euphues' son, against her father's will;
Who follow'd 'em, and apprehended them:
The law may right us, sir, if it may have course.

King. No reason but the law should have its course.

Enter Euphues.

Euph. Pardon, dread sovereign, pardon for my son.

King. Your son, Lord Euphues! what is his offence?

Euph. No heinous one, my liege, no plot of treason
Against your royal person or your state:
These aged cheeks would blush to beg a pardon
For such a foul offence: no crying murder
Hath stain'd his innocent hands; his fault was love—
Love, my dear liege. Unfortunately he took
The daughter and heir of Lord Polymetes,
Who follows him, and seeks extremity.

Pol. I seek but law; I am abus'd, my liege,
Justice is all I beg: my daughter's stol'n,
Staff of my age; let the law do me right.

Vir. To his just prayers do I bend my knee.
My promis'd wife is stol'n, and by the son
Of that injurious lord: justice I crave.

Euph. Be like those powers above, whose place on earth
You represent; show mercy, gracious king,
For they are merciful.

Pol. Mercy is but the king's prerogative,
'Tis justice is his office: doing that,
He can wrong no man, no man can complain;
But mercy show'd oft takes away relief
From the wrong'd party, that the law would give him.

Euph. The law is blind, and speaks in general terms;
She cannot pity where occasion serves:
The living law can moderate her rigour,
And that's the king.

Pol. The king, I hope, in this will not do so.

Euph. 'Tis malice makes thee speak,
Hard-hearted lord. Hadst thou no other way
To wreak thy canker'd and long-foster'd hate
Upon my head but thus—thus bloodily
By my son's suffering, and for such a fault,
As thou shouldst love him rather? Is thy daughter
Disparag'd by his love? Is his blood base,
Or are his fortunes sunk? This law was made
For suchlike cautions to restrain the base
From wronging noble persons by attempts
Of such a kind; but where equality
Meets in the match, the fault is pardonable.

Enter LeucothoË.

Leu. Mercy, my sovereign! mercy, gracious king!

Pol. Minion, who sent for you? 'twere modesty
For you to be at home.

King. Let her alone. Speak, lady:
I charge you, no man interrupt her.

Leu. If ever pity touch'd that princely breast,
If ever virgin's tears had power to move,
Or if you ever lov'd, and felt the pangs
That other lovers do, pity, great king—
Pity and pardon two unhappy lovers.

King. Your life is not in question.

Leu. Yes, royal sir,
If law condemn my Philocles, he and I
Have but one heart, and can have but one fate.

Euph. Excellent virtue! thou hadst not this from thy father.

King. There's music in her voice, and in her face
More than a mortal beauty: O my heart!
I shall be lost in passion if I hear her.
[Aside.]

I'll hear no more: convey her from my presence:
Quickly. I say.

Euph. This is strange!

Vir. I told you what he would do; I knew
He would not hear of a pardon, and I against it;
He respects me.

Pol. No doubt he does, my lord:
I like this passage well.

King. But stay:
Stay, lady, let me hear you. Beshrew my heart,
My mind was running of another matter.

Vir. Where the devil hath his mind been all this while? Perhaps he heard none of us neither; we may e'en tell our tales again.

Pol. No, sure, he heard us; but 'tis very strange.

King. 'Tis such a tempting poison I draw in,
I cannot stay my draught. [Aside.] Rise up, lady.

Leu. Never, until your grace's pardon raise me.
There's pity in your eye: O, show it, sir.
Say pardon, gracious king; 'tis but a word
And short, but welcome as the breath of life.

King. I'll further hear the manner of this fact.
Avoid the presence—all but the lady;
And come not, till I send.

Pol. I like not this.
[Aside.]

Vir. Nor I; here is mad dancing.

Euph. Heaven bless thy suit, thou mirror of thy sex,
And best example of true constant love,
That in the sea of thy transcendent virtues
Drown'st all thy father's malice, and redeem'st
More in my thoughts than all thy kin can lose!
[Exeunt.

King. Now, lady,
What would you do to save the life of him
You love so dearly?

Leu. I cannot think that thought I would not do.
Lay it in my power, and beyond my power
I would attempt.

King. You would be thankful then to me,
If I should grant his pardon?

Leu. If ever I were thankful to the gods
For all that I call mine: my health and being,
Could I to you be unthankful for a gift
I value more than those, and without which
These blessings were but wearisome?

King. Those that are thankful study to requite
A courtesy; would you do so? Would you
Requite this favour?

Leu. I cannot, sir;
For all the service I can do your grace
Is but my duty; you are my sovereign,
And all my deeds to you are debts, not merits.
But to those powers above that can requite,
That from their wasteless treasures heap rewards
More out of grace than merits on us mortals,
To those I'll ever pray, that they would give you
More blessings than I have skill to ask.

King. Nay, but, LeucothoË, this lies
In thy power to requite: thy love will make requital;
Wilt thou love me?

Leu. I ever did, my lord:
I was instructed from my infancy
To love and honour you my sovereign.

King. But in a nearer bond of love?

Leu. There is no nearer nor no truer love,
Than that a loyal subject bears a prince.

King. Still thou wilt not conceive me: I must deal
Plain with you: wilt thou lie with me?
And I will seal his pardon presently;
Nay more, I'll heap upon you both all favours,
All honours that a prince can give.

Leu. O me unhappy!
In what a sad dilemma stands my choice,
Either to lose the man my soul most loves,
Or save him by a deed of such dishonour,
As he will ever loathe me for, and hate
To draw that breath that was so basely kept!
[Aside.]

Name anything but that to save his life;
I know you do but tempt my frailty, sir.
I know your royal thoughts could never stoop
To such a foul, dishonourable act.

King. Bethink thyself, there is no way but that.
I swear by heaven never to pardon him
But upon those conditions.

Leu. O, I am miserable!

King. Thou art not, if not wilful; yield, LeucothoË,
It shall be secret: Philocles for his life
Shall thank thy love, but never know the price
Thou paid'st for it. Be wise; thou heardst me swear:
I cannot now show mercy, thou may'st save him,
And if he die, 'tis thou that art the tyrant.

Leu. I should be so, if I should save him thus.
Nay, I should be a traitor to your grace,
Betray your soul to such a foe as lust.
But since your oath is pass'd, dear Philocles,
I'll show to thee an honest cruelty,
And rather follow thee in spotless death,
Than buy with sinning a dishonour'd life.

King. Yet pity me, LeucothoË; cure the wound
Thine eyes have made: pity a begging king!
Uncharm the charms of thy bewitching face,
Or thou wilt leave me dead. Will nothing move thee?
Thou art a witch, a traitor: thou hast sought
By unresisted spells thy sovereign's life.
Who are about us? Call in the lords again.

Enter Polymetes, Virro, Euphues, &c.

Lord Polymetes, take your daughter to you,
Keep her at home.

Pol. I will, my liege; Roscio, see her there.
I wonder what is done.
[Aside.]

King. Euphues, I have ta'en a solemn oath
Never to grant a pardon to thy son.

Euph. O, say not so, my liege; your grace, I know,
Has mercy for a greater fault than this.

King. My oath is pass'd, and cannot be recall'd.

Pol. This is beyond our wishes.
[Aside.]

Vir. What made him swear this, I wonder?

Euph. A heavy oath to me, and most unlook'd for.
Your justice, sir, has set a period
Unto a loyal house, a family
That have been props of the Sicilian crown,
That with their bloods in many an honour'd field,
'Gainst the hot French and Neapolitan,
Have serv'd for you and your great ancestors:
Their children now can never more do so.
Farewell, my sovereign! whilst I in tears
Spend the sad remnant of my childless age,
I'll pray for your long life and happy reign,
And may your grace and your posterity
At need find hands as good and hearts as true,
As ours have ever been!

King. Farewell, good old man.

Euph. For you, my lord, your cruelty has deserv'd
A curse from me, but I can utter none:
Your daughter's goodness has weigh'd down your malice,
Heaven prosper her!
[Exit Euphues.

Pol. Amen.

King. He is an honest man, and truly noble.
O my rash oath! my lust that was the cause:
Would any price would buy it in again!

Vir. Your majesty is just.

Pol. 'Tis a happy land,
Where the king squares his actions by the law.

King. Away! you are base and bloody,
That feed your malice with pretence of justice.
'Tis such as you make princes tyrannous,
And hated of their subjects: but look to't,
Look your own heads stand fast; for if the law
Do find a hole in your coats, beg no mercy.

Vir. Pardon us, my lord, we were wrong'd.

Pol. And sought redress but by a lawful course.

King. Well, leave me alone.

Vir. Farewell, my liege. Now let him chafe alone.

Pol. Now we have our ends.
[Exeunt.

King. Is there no means to save him, no way
To get a dispensation for an oath?
None that I know, except the court of Rome
Will grant one: that's well thought on;
I will not spare for gold, and that will do it.
Nicanor!

Enter Nicanor.

Nic. Sir!

King. What book is that
Thou hadst from Paris about the price of sins?

Nic. 'Tis called the Taxes of the Apostolical Chancery.[434]

King. Is there a price for any sin set down?

Nic. Any, sir: how heinous e'er it be,
Or of what nature, for such a sum of money
As is set down there, it shall be remitted.

King. That's well; go fetch the book presently.

Nic. I will, my lord.
[Exit Nicanor.

King. Sure, there is perjury
Among the rest, and I shall know what rate
It bears, before I have committed it.

Re-enter Nicanor.

How now, hast brought it?

Nic. Yes, sir.

King. Read; I would know the price of perjury.

Nic. I shall find it quickly; here's an index. [He reads.] Imprimis. For murder of all kinds, of a clergyman, of a layman, of father, mother, son, brother, sister, wife——

King. Read till you come at perjury.

Nic. Item, for impoisoning, enchantments, witchcraft, sacrilege, simony, and their kind and branches.

Item, pro lapsu carnis, fornication, adultery, incest without any exception or distinction; for sodomy, brutality, or any of that kind.

King. My heart shakes with horror
To hear the names of such detested sins.
Can these be bought for any price of money?
Or do these merchants but deceive the world
With their false wares? No more of that foul book;
I will not now know what I came to know.
I would not for the world redeem my oath
By such a course as this. No more, Nicanor,
Unless thou find a price for atheism.
Well, this is not the way to help, I see;
I have thought of another that may prove
And both discharge my oath, and save his life.
Nicanor, run presently, call Matho hither—
Matho the lawyer: command him to make haste;
I long to be resolv'd.

Nic. I run, sir.

King. He is a subtle lawyer, and may find
Some point, that in the law's obscurity
Lies hid from us—some point may do us good.
I have seen some of his profession
Out of a case as plain, as clear as day
To our weak judgments, and no doubt at first
Meant like our thoughts by those that made the law,
Pick out such hard, inextricable doubts,
That they have spun a suit of seven years long,
And led their hood-wink['d] clients in a wood,
A most irremeable labyrinth,
Till they have quite consum'd them. This they can do
In other cases: why not as well in this?
I have seen others could extend the law
Upon the rack, or cut it short again
To their own private profits, as that thief,
Cruel Procrustes, serv'd his hapless guests,
To fit them to his bed. Well, I shall see.
I would Nicanor were return'd again,
I would fain ease my conscience of that oath,
That rash and inconsiderate oath I took.
But see! here they are coming.

Enter Matho and Nicanor.

Matho. Health to my sovereign!

King. And what will be the issue of the law?

Matho. None, my lord.

King. Surely there may; speak, man: I'll give thee double fees.

Matho. It cannot be, my liege; the statute is plain.

Enter Constable and Watch.[435]

Con. Come, fellow-watchmen, for now you are my fellows.

1st Watch. It pleases you to call us so, master constable.

Con. I do it to encourage you in your office—it is a trick that we commanders have: your great captains call your soldiers fellow-soldiers to encourage them.

2d Watch. Indeed, and so they do. I heard master curate reading a story-book t'other day to that purpose.

Con. Well, I must show now what you have to do, for I myself, before I came to this prefermity, was as simple as one of you: and, for your better destruction, I will deride my speech into two parts. First, what is a watchman? Secondly, what is the office of a watchman? For the first, if any man ask me what is a watchman, I may answer him, he is a man, as others are; nay, a tradesman, as a vintner, a tailor, or the like, for they have long bills.

3d Watch. He tells us true, neighbour, we have bills[436] indeed.

Con. For the second, what is his office? I answer, he may, by virtue of his office, reprehend any person or persons that walk the streets too late at a seasonable hour.

4th Watch. May we indeed, master constable?

Con. Nay, if you meet any of those rogues at seasonable hours, you may, by virtue of your office, commit him to prison, and then ask him whither he was going.

1st Watch. Why, that's as much as my lord mayor does.

Con. True, my lord mayor can do no more than you in that point.

2d Watch. But, master constable, what, if he should resist us?

Con. Why, if he do resist, you may knock him down, and then bid him stand, and come before the constable. So now I think you are sufficiently instructed concerning your office. Take your stands: you shall hear rogues walking at these seasonable hours, I warrant you: stand close.

Enter Eugenio.

Eug. Now do I take as much care to be apprehended as others do to 'scape the watch: I must speak to be overheard, and plainly too, or else these dolts will never conceive me.

Con. Hark, who goes by?

Eug. O my conscience, my conscience! the terror of a guilty conscience!

Con. How, conscience talks he of! he's an honest man, I warrant him: let him pass.

2d Watch. Ay, ay, let him pass. Good night, honest gentleman.

Eug. These are wise officers, I must be plainer yet. That gold, that cursed gold, that made me poison him—made me poison Eugenio.

Con. How, made me poison him! he's a knave, I warrant him.

3d Watch. Master constable has found him already.

Con. I warrant you, a knave cannot pass me. Go, reprehend him; I'll take his excommunication myself.

1st Watch. Come afore the constable.

2d Watch. Come afore the constable.

Con. Sirrah, sirrah, you would have 'scaped, would you? No, sirrah, you shall know the king's officers have eyes to hear such rogues as you. Come, sirrah, confess who it was you poisoned. He looks like a notable rogue.

1st Watch. I do not like his looks.

2d Watch. Nor I.

Con. You would deny it, would you, sirrah? We shall sift you.

Eug. Alas, master constable! I cannot now deny what I have said: you overheard me; I poisoned Eugenio, son to Lord Polymetes.

1st Watch. O rascal!

2d Watch. My young landlord!

Con. Let him alone, the law shall punish him; but, sirrah, where did you poison him?

Eug. About a day's journey hence; as he was coming home from Athens, I met him, and poisoned him.

Con. But, sirrah, who set you a-work? Confess—I shall find out the whole nest of these rogues—speak.

Eug. Count Virro hired me to do it.

Con. O lying rascal!

1st Watch. Nay, he that will steal will lie.

2d Watch. I'll believe nothing he says.

3d Watch. Belie a man of worship!

4th Watch. A nobleman!

Con. Away with him, I'll hear no more. Remit him to prison. Sirrah, you shall hear of these things to-morrow, where you would be loth to hear them. Come, let's go.
[Exeunt.