J. W. Hayes

Portland, Oregon, A.D. 1999

Portland, Oregon, A.D. 1999

Chapter I.

The Visitor.

“Thro’ the harsh noises of our day,

A low sweet prelude finds its way,

Thro’ cloud of Doubt and creeds of Fear

A Light is breaking calm and clear.”

My caller was a queer little old woman. Her figure, however, was erect, her eyes bright and her voice low, soft and firm. She was becomingly dressed, in what might appear to be a Quaker garb, and a look of rare intelligence radiated her countenance.

In a deep, sweet voice, she began:

“I was born in the year of our Lord, 1828, and am, consequently, in my 86th year. I have lived a long time, but when I glance backward, it seems but yesterday that I nestled in my mother’s arms. I was born in Virginia in the year Andrew Jackson was elected President and my parents took me to Washington on the day of his inauguration. We traveled in our own vehicle, drawn by two dapple grey horses, and we had several neighbors as companions each having a conveyance of their own.

“Schools were unknown in our neighborhood and my early education was derived from my parents, principally, assisted by a maiden aunt, who spent each summer at our plantation.

“My clothes were cut out, fitted and made by my aunt, and my hats lacked any feather trimmings or other finery. The material of my dresses was generally of a slate color, and but few other shades were affected. All of our neighbors dressed in the same way, without any affectation of style whatsoever. But enough of this.

“The musical instruments of that day were the melodeon, harp and violin. There were very few of even these, and were confined, the melodeon to the village church, the violin to our darkey’s cabins.

“We read by a tallow dip during the winter nights, but there was not very much to read, our library consisting of the family Bible, Bunyan’s Pilgrims Progress, together with a weekly paper published in Philadelphia, that had originally been started by Benjamin Franklin.

“It was in the year 1850 that my people began talking of going West, and tried to glean all the information they could concerning the country they selected, the best means of getting there and the prospects for disposing of our plantation. It took us three years to finish all of our preparations, and on April 18th, 1853, our caravan started on the trail leading Westward.

“I was 26 years old, and at a time of life when I could thoroughly enjoy the ever varying changes of climate and scenery.

“We found the Indians very friendly, even to kindness, and we bestowed on them many cheap trinkets in return for food and skins, of which they possessed a variety.

“We made many stops on the way as we reached the then frontier settlements, now large and prosperous cities, and it was not until we had crossed the Missouri river, near Omaha, that we began anticipating trouble from the Indians. We experienced the usual hardships and vicissitudes from this cause, nothing unusual in those times, and arrived in the then little city of Portland, March 19th, 1854. “I startled our little party, on our arrival in Portland, by announcing that the next time I crossed the Continent it would be on the steam cars.

“Long and loudly was I laughed at for my optimism, and it did really seem impossible for a locomotive to be capable of climbing those seemingly inaccessible peaks.

“Had I prophesied all that was in my mind, my friends might have thought that I was deranged. I could have said that I could see people flying through the air in vehicles shaped like birds from the Atlantic to the Pacific and that the almost impenetrable forests of Oregon would one day be entirely laid low by the woodman’s axe.

“There were many other things which I could see were bound to come but I thought it wisest to keep the light of my prophecies to myself rather than give them to unheeding ears.

“What I saw in those days, however, will not compare to the marvels which come to me now, at my advanced age.

“I have given a receptive ear to the spirit which tells me what others would pronounce ‘queer notions,’ but which I declare to be scientifically natural. I will tell you of all these things and you may publish them to the world, and allow them to be a judge of my optimistic views. I will tell you what I see and also of what I know is sure to come, so that all who read may know and understand, and put themselves in readiness for the great events which are bound to ensue by A.D. 1999.”

The old lady then, her eyes beaming with intelligence and in the most natural and unassumed manner, voiced the following prophecies:

Chapter II.

The Prophecy.

Taking a note book from her bag, and adjusting her spectacles, the old lady began her remarkable relation of events to come ere the 21st century shall have rolled around:

“Of course,” she began, “I may not be able to tell you all that is in store for future generations, but I will say enough to interest everybody and to warn everybody who will care to heed my admonitions.

“The era of quick transit has already arrived and people love to travel fast, and opportunity will be given all who care to adopt this pastime. Very soon the locomotive and trolley car will be altogether too slow for travel and aerial voyages, both for pleasure and business will ensue. The force used for this purpose will be varied and may be electricity, gasoline, compressed air, or perhaps still another potent agent, at present undeveloped, which will usurp the place of all others, be cheaper, safer and more reliable than any known energy. The cars will be made entirely of steel bands and so constructed that but little damage may be apprehended from a collision with another flying machine. A parachute, arranged to work automatically will be the chief protector of this winged machine and this part of the apparatus will be so constructed as to render an accident almost an impossibility. Indeed, these carriers will be so made that a party soaring in the air at a height of 500 feet will look down and express a feeling of sympathy for those who must brave the dangers besetting life on the surface of this mundane sphere. “These air carriers will be simple, and a good bright boy can manufacture his own vehicle to take him to and from school and at a less expense per day than is now paid for street car fare, and at a lesser risk to life and limb. The grocer will make his deliveries by his air machine. The butcher boy will abandon his automobile and bring his meat deliveries by the way the bird flies. As there can be no tracks laid in the air, no one will be pestering the City Commission for a franchise to run his company’s cars over a certain strata of air, but there will be cars for hire, just the same, and there will be, no doubt, long trains operated in the air not much unlike the system at present in vogue on the surface. The death dealing automobile will be a thing of the past and even the merry motor cycle will have gone the way of the equine. Railroads and railroad stocks will suffer and the roads will languish and die. Aerial locomotion will usurp the place of the steamer and the steamship, since it will be proven to be quicker, safer and less expensive. Country homes will be easy of access and, consequently, more popular and the suburbs will be peopled by an ever increasing number. There is no end to the advantages which the flying machine possesses over the present modes of locomotion and it is merely a question of solving the problem of entire safety, economy and simplicity of construction and operation, all of which will have been surmounted in A.D. 1999.

“Although the aerial navigation is itself an important feature of future progress, it is not at all the most prominent of innovations. I will tell you of the new era of building. “Portland in 1913 was considered a beautiful city, but how much more beautiful does it look in 1999. I will endeavor to give you a little idea.

“The wooden houses have become a thing of the past and strong, warm concrete dwellings are the order of the day. These abodes although immensely superior to the dwellings of 1913 are less in cost and more adaptable for homes. Every working man has his own flying machine and his own home and should be happy and comfortable. The city is compact and the business houses are lofty and well constructed, safety to occupants being the chief care.

“Owing to the fact that there are few, if any, automobiles or other rapid methods of travel to take up the streets of our city, there was an order issued by the City Commissioners removing the hard surface pavements and authorizing the Commissioner of Public Service to sow the streets in rye grass and Kentucky blue grass, so that the city of Portland is one perpetual system of parks, where the youngster may play to his heart’s content. Just imagine what a beautiful city we have and how our past day metropolis would pale into insignificance beside the picture I have drawn. Roses are planted in the streets and we are really and truly the ‘Rose City’.”

At this juncture the old lady paused to consult some notes which she read to herself, presently beginning again, this time with a new topic:

“Emigration flocked to Oregon after the opening of the Panama canal and under the new conditions many of these newcomers settled in and around Portland. The great territory of Alaska has been pretty thoroughly prospected and our city is the chief market for that great and wonderful country. Our population equals or surpasses that of Greater New York in 1913 and there is work for everyone. Portland embraces the entire county of Multnomah and a portion of other adjacent counties and extends in an unbroken line from Oregon City on the South to the delta of the Columbia river on the North, East to the foot of Mt. Hood and West to Hillsboro. There are no more bridges across the Willamette river, tubes 75 feet wide at every other street taking the place of the bridges. These tubes are about a mile in length and start from Broadway on the West side and extend to Grand avenue on the East. Public docks extend from St. Johns to Milwaukie and cover both sides of the river, which is dredged the entire length of the dockage.

“Many of the hills back of the city, including Portland Heights, Kings Heights and Willamette Heights are leveled, only Council Crest with its historic traditions being allowed to remain. This gives a vast area to West Portland which is really vital to its business supremacy. Columbia Slough was reclaimed and most of the manufacturing industries are carried on at that point. St. Johns was again taken into the fold and made happy.”

Again did the old lady consult her notes, making a selection for a new topic, smilingly began:

“The old Commission form of government inaugurated in 1913 proved a success in every way. The first Mayor under the Commission, H. Russell Albee, with his quartette of capable assistants, Messrs. Wm.H. Daly, W.M. Brewster, R.G. Dieck and C.A. Bigelow set the pace for their under officials who tried to emulate their superiors’ good work, the public reaping splendid results therefrom. Each succeeding administration endeavored to excel the former’s record and Portland has been well governed for the past 86 years. Auditor Barbur, too, gave the city the fruits of his ripe experience in municipal matters and was rewarded by being elected again and again. When the city swallowed up the county of Multnomah, additional commissioners were necessary to take care of the increased business, and so popular did this system of government become with the people that a State Commission form of government was agitated and finally adopted. The Governor and his Cabinet, composed of 12 commissioners were moved to Portland which became the state capitol. The State Commission had the power to enact laws and possessed all the functions of a state legislature, meeting each day to pass upon matters which might come up for discussion or adjustment. The Governor serving in 1913, Oswald West declined the honor of running on a state commission basis and that privilege fell to Robert Stevens who safely guided the bark of Oregon through the breakers.

“The long list of state officials embraces many names familiar to the public in the earlier part of this century, notably, the names of Sewall, Malarkey, Coffey, Word, Selling, Lane, Chamberlain, Gatens, Bourne, Nebergall, Lightner, Lombard, Rushlight and many others whose names were highly esteemed in Portland’s early history.

“The city, county and state buildings embrace five continuous blocks beginning at Jefferson Street running north, taking in Madison, Main, Salmon, Taylor and Yamhill Streets, each building being ten stories high and connected at each third story with its companion on the opposite side of the street for a distance of five blocks, making it practically one solid building five blocks long and each building ten stories high.

“There are fifteen judges of the circuit court, seven of whom are women. The sheriff and treasurer are women and there are several women serving as bailiffs.

“The name of Abigail Scott Duniway is held in much reverence by these women officials, who attribute to her the honor of being the promoter of woman suffrage in Oregon.

“Many innovations have been made in the laws of Oregon during the last 50 years, a number of them being framed and mothered by women State Commissioners and signed by Oregon’s women governors. One of these acts makes it lawful for a woman to retain her own name, if she so desires after her marriage and not making it compulsory for her to take her husband’s name, so that if Miss Montmorenci marries Bill Smith, she is not necessarily compelled to assume her husband’s name of Smith, but can be known as ‘Mrs. Helen Smith-Montmorenci.’ This act has been the occasion of a number of our high-toned girls with four syllable names marrying men of plebeian extraction, so the law works well.

“The morals of the city have wonderfully improved. There is less roystering, riotousness and lawlessness than existed earlier in the century. There is no longer a Home of Detention for boys and girls, Florence Crittenden Home, a county or city jail, or a state penitentiary, all of these institutions being done away with as they were found unnecessary, expensive and not able to deal with the situation in hand. Instead, a more Christlike form of dealing with the socalled lawless element has been inaugurated and the fruits became immediately apparent. Alleged criminals were talked to like brothers and treated like brothers, the hard spot in the hearts of each melting, when, indeed, they did become like brothers. Men on the rock pile were taken by the hand by good and true men and women and made to feel that life had something in it besides crime, and all became ready and anxious to better their conditions and their morals and the Brotherhood of Man became established on earth in its truest significance. “And so it was in handling the social evil. None were so vile but would like to leave their sins; and a revolution for the good was started which has ever since continued. And this is the reason we have no homes for criminals, for we have no more criminals. Isn’t that lovely?” and the dear old lady smiled.

Continuing, she said, “The art of ‘moving picture’ shows has given place to the science of ‘motion picture’ shows. We will say that a rendition of ‘Shylock’ is given in New York on Monday. The following Monday, the very same performance can be produced in Portland, with a counterpart of the actors’ figures, voices, stage setting, even to the minutest particular, and it would be difficult for one seeing both performances to tell which was the original and which the copy.

“Owing to the little need for an elaborate education, children are not compelled to go higher than the sixth grade, the rest of their education being made up by practical experience later in life. This, however, does not extend to those seeking professional lives who are at liberty to use their time as they choose.

“Fourth of July, 1999, was celebrated in a way that the men and women of former days would marvel at. The air was filled with vehicles of all kinds and descriptions. They all invaded the air from the little tad of four years of age, who is riding in space at a height of five feet just within reach of his parent’s arms, to the more daring air rider who soars the skies, at an elevation of 10,000 feet. There were no fireworks but there was plenty of visiting above ground and music from 50,000 phonographs was listened to. One mighty band was playing national airs, and although more than a century and a half has elapsed since the anthem was written, the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ was received in the usual way. There are some new national hymns, but the olden ones seem to be the most popular.

“The Rose Festival was celebrated two weeks prior to this event. The celebration was unique and embraced a pageant in the air, the electric parade being the feature of the day. A genuine shower of roses let fall at a given signal from tens of thousands of airships filled the air with delightful perfume and the spectators with enthusiasm. The performance was given three days in succession. A reminiscent figure of the third day’s parade was a picture made in flowers and exhibited at a height of 1,000 feet above the ground showing a picture of the first president of the Rose Festival, who was none other than our dear old friend, Ralph W. Hoyt.

“What might appear to the people of 1913 as very extraordinary, is the manner in which the streets of the city are sprinkled. A huge air bag with a rubber hose attachment is allowed to rise to a height of about 1,000 feet and water from the Willamette river is pumped up into it by the good old fire boat, David Campbell, which is still doing business.

“Attached to the air bag is a regular sprinkling machine and as fast as the David Campbell pumps the water into the bag it is allowed to fall on the city, the air bag, of course, frequently shifting its position to give all parts of the city an equal show for a rain storm. This process is used whenever there is a drought in Multnomah county, which, thank the Lord, is a seldom occurrence.

“Journalism has kept apace with the times and the Oregonian is still doing business at the old stand but it now occupies the entire block. The names of Scott and Pittock are synonymous with that of the Oregonian.

“The Journal has taken its place among the foremost papers of the day and it, too, covers a whole block on its present site. It is a monument to the energy and business sagacity of Mr. C.S. Jackson.

“The Daily News proved a paying venture and is among the city’s institutions.

“The Sunday Mercury has long since ceased publication on Sunday, becoming a thriving morning paper.

“The Evening Telegram grew so fast that it was compelled to move to more commodious quarters and occupies that building once known as the Portland Hotel, which ceased to be a hostelry in 1953. The Telegram utilizes the entire building which is proof sufficient of its prosperity.

“The Guide, a little sheet devoted to general information for the public is still published by a gentleman, named Stuart, and gives out correct data as in years gone by.

“Much of the good in Socialism has been incorporated in the politics of the state, and the objectionable part of the doctrines were eschewed. The best ideas of all parties now enter into politics, which goes to show that there was good in all.

“One-half of the police force are women, who dress in uniform and there is a day shift and a night shift of these women police, and the idea works well.

“Owing to sanitary conditions somewhat, but rather to a change of mind and morals, there is comparatively little sickness now prevailing in Oregon. Ever since the year 1933, when the State of Oregon passed a bill making it a criminal offense for anyone to recommend or prescribe deleterious drugs in the cure of diseases, the number of doctors using medicines have fallen off and drug stores are no longer run under that name, and the health of young and old has wonderfully improved. The science of curing broken limbs still continues to be practiced but these surgeons acknowledge that drugs and medicines have lost their potency as a curative agent.

“Men and women dress very differently from former days.

“The tube skirt is surely a thing of the past and pictures of a 1913 belle dressed in a ‘tube’ is put on the moving pictures when it is particularly desirous to raise some merriment, even if it be done at the expense of one’s great grandmother.

“The ladies dress in more of an Oriental style which is very becoming and which allows them more individuality of design.

“The men and boys have gone back to the old Knickerbocker style of dress and they look very natty in their new attire.

“One never sees a horse any more and that species of animal is well nigh extinct. To be sure, there are some to be found at the city parks and they are as much fondled and caressed by the youthful visitor there as was the pet lamb that Mary took to school. The horses’ day as a beast of burden is over, thank God.

“There are but few of the old stock of Indians left and these are very proud. Much is being made of them by the whites, who look up to them as being the ‘First families of America.’ Their numbers are few and there is an effort being exerted to preserve and propagate what is left of them.

“There is a sprinkle of Chinese and Japanese in the city but the little people have long since passed the stage of ‘undesirables.’ They, too, have had a change of heart and have stopped all their objectionable ways and have become as good citizens as those of the ‘most favored nation.’

“The Chinamen, more particularly have fallen into the customs of the white neighbors and a much better feeling is manifest on both sides, which knocks the dreaded bugaboo about the ‘yellow peril.’ Both Japanese and Chinese affect the American style of dress, even to the knee pants. Just fancy that!”

Chapter III.

More Startling Prophecies.

The old lady talked fast now, often stopping for a minute or so to look at what appeared hieroglyphics on her memorandum papers:

“I told you that I was 86 years old and the period that I am talking to you about is just 86 years hence, so that I am merely looking ahead 86 years instead of looking backward that length of time. Please do not confound my subject to the present time for all that I tell you is to take place in 1999 although I speak of it as having already occurred. My foresight is just as keen as my hindsight and all that I am telling you is a reality to me even if it has not yet actually taken place. But it will happen so, and just as I relate it to you.

“I forgot to tell you that the doctors will be under the supervision of the City Commissioners. They will be paid from the city treasury and all fees accruing from the public for medical service will be paid into the municipal treasury. The doctors will be paid according to their ability and civil service examination will be required ere a doctor will be allowed to practice.

“All lawyers will have their offices in the court house and will be assigned to cases as they come up in rotation. Each attorney must work for the best good of his client but all cases will have a preliminary examination before a board of three judges and unless, in their esteem, the case is a meritorious one, it will be summarily thrown out of court.

“Lawyers cannot collect fees from clients but will receive a salary paid out of the common fund, their emoluments greatly depending upon the value of their services, the number of cases each has won, etc. This state of affairs is much appreciated by both practitioner and client and works well.

“The ministers, too, come under the supervision of the City Commission, but as it is impossible for anyone to tell how many souls they save it has been decided that their emoluments must come from their clients who are the better judge of their minister’s value.

“It was in the year 1950 that it became quite observable that corn, wheat, rye and other cereals entering into the production of alcohol had lost the power to ferment and to be converted into beer, wine and whiskey. This was a startling announcement to the old topers but it was nevertheless a fact and the science of making alcohol has become a lost art.

“One would think that this would put the distilleries and breweries out of business, but man is very resourceful and immediately those in the liquor business began casting around for a substitute for their former product and a splendid one was discovered which more than filled all requirements and now, Weinhard’s brewery still managed by Paul Wessinger the Fourth, and the Gambrinus brewery, with a Mr. George Leithoff, Jr., at the helm, are manufacturing a beverage which exhilarates but does not inebriate. Both of these institutions have grown to five times the size of the early part of the century and, inasmuch as there can be no law directed against the sale of their beverages, there is no license fee exacted by the city from the cafes or other resorts retailing these wares. W.J. Van Schuyver & Co., Rothschild Bros., Blumauer, Hoch & Co., L. Germanus, L. Coblentz & Co., still continue in business with new faces, the old names are still on the signs, but they, too, are selling a splendid substitute for alcoholic beverages.” The old lady paused for a minute and with a laugh remarked, “I’d like to be able to give you of the present day the recipe for this substitute but it would affect the gift I possess of foreshadowing the future and I’ll have to leave it a secret.

“The lighting of the city is done by one immense electric light suspended in the air at a height of several thousand feet which illumines the city as bright as the brightest day. No deep black shadows are cast as was the case in former days, but a gentle, steady, pervading light is given and a person need not have gas fixtures or electric light fixtures in his home or place of business as the city light illumines exactly as does the sun.

“Heat is furnished by the city through a thorough pipe system and it is compulsory on all citizens to patronize the city’s heat. No fuel in the shape of wood and coal is used and the loss by fire is nominal and for this reason, the premiums on fire insurance policies have been cut down to one-quarter of the former cost. The working out of this idea has materially helped to beautify the city and actually put the street cleaning department out of business.

“There being so very few horses raised the overplus of stock feed is used in the propagation of hogs and cattle and, as a consequence, the meat and milk product has greatly increased and the prices have been very much lessened.

“The disciples of Burbank, the once renowned horticulturist have been getting busy and as a result many new fruits and vegetables have been put on the market, their flavor and excellence outstripping anything known in the early twentieth century.

“We have now one universal, common language. The vocabulary is not very copious, the dictionary containing less than 8,000 words but it is capable of expressing every idea that the human mind may evolve. This innovation has made it easy, particularly for the young scholar and student. Latin and Greek, commonly known as the dead languages are now very dead, as even the churches have given up their usage.

“High above the clouds at Fort Stevens, is erected a tower that pierces the sky to several thousand feet, and far above the cloud line. Here are half a dozen men concontantly on watch with the latest improved telescopes. Their mission is to apprize the garrison below of the approach of an enemy by sea. From their lofty height and through the modern telescope, ships at a distance of 100 miles at sea can be distinctly sighted and the alarm given to the ever-watchful garrison.

“Signals between the watchers in the lighthouse and the officers manning the guns indicate the exact location of the approaching enemy and an attack can be repelled and the greatest Dreadnaught blown out of the water at this long range at the will of the gunners. It is in this way that the entire Pacific Coast is defended, but it is pleasureable to state, that there has been no semblance of war for over 50 years and all the earth is at peace.

“Irrigation in Eastern Oregon and Washington has produced 10 times the amount of wheat formerly raised and wheat is shipped to all parts of the world from the numerous and well equipped elevators on the Willamette river.

“I must now tell you what I consider the greatest of all the world’s inventions and it seems a pity that it has been bottled up so long merely to line the pockets of a few sordid railroad owners.

“The device was invented in 1925 by a young man named Wallace Going and it consisted of an apparatus which may be so applied to a balloon or other object suspended in midair, which, when properly adjusted and at a certain height from the earth, will shake off or cast off the gravitation of the earth allowing it to suspend in space as an independent planet. The idea being one of quick transit, the balloonist after freeing his ship from the earth’s attraction will hang in space till his destination rolls around to him. The earth moves from west to east, so that it will take a little more than 20 hours, at this latitude, to have New York roll around to you, but if you are in New York it would take but four hours to come to Portland, provided they are in exactly the same latitude. Do you understand me? Of course, if you started from Los Angeles, you would touch some point in the southern states and if your destination happened to be New York City, you would have to take the cars to that point. This has become a favorite way to cross the continent. It is quick and absolutely without any danger so very few travel overland by the railroads, that mode of locomotion being used almost entirely for weighty and bulky merchandise.

“When young Wallace Going approached the President of the Transcontinental Railroad with his invention, he was laughed to scorn, but the young man gave a practical demonstration ascending in his balloon and allowing the earth to pass in review before him arriving at Portland again, or rather, rolling around to Portland again 23 hours 55 minutes later. A vast sum was paid young Going for his invention, but the railroad companies stuck to their privilege of bottling it up, fully realizing the revolution it would create in business once it was established. The patent ran out in 25 years when the device became public property and now it is in general use from Alaska on the north to Terra del Fuego on the south and there has been very few mishaps to any of the carriers.

“You can see, therefore, how the number of railroads running north and south must have increased and how the traffic across the continent has diminished.

“And still the end of the wonders are not yet,” and the interesting old lady stopped to consult her memorandum book.

“You will want to know, of course, who are in business in Portland at the time I am talking about, A.D. 1999, and I will gladly answer all your enquiries, as I have a city directory for the year 1998, but it will do for our use,” and the old lady took a ponderous book from her bag.

Chapter IV.

Old Names Revived.

“Tell me, please, who are the proprietors of the department stores in 1999?”

“Well, there is Lipman, Wolfe & Co., who occupy two blocks, one at their present location, the other being on the east side of the river. I notice the name Ramsdell is still connected with the concern and there are several Lipmans and Wolfes interested in the business. They have always kept up with the times and never grew weary in the race for the golden shekels.

“I notice, also, that Meier, Frank Company are not only in the business at the old stand, but occupy a 50-story building near where the Multnomah field once was located. This latter is a grand building and it required a special act of legislature to effect its construction. The down town store, which covers an entire block, is devoted to the heavier and coarser class of merchandise, while the new store is filled with, well, everything. Here most of the employes of this great business are comfortably housed with all the comforts of apartment life and the huge structure is a little city in itself. This building was erected as a monument to Messrs. Meier and Frank, the founders of the house, by their great grand children in 1960.

“Olds, Wortman and King are still known by that firm name and the posterity of each of the individual members of the house are represented in the business. The store is conducted on the same broad business principles which always characterized the founders of the house and which today makes it the popular place to do shopping. “There were other department stores which came and went, but it seems that these three will ‘go on forever’.”

“How is it about the boot and shoe business? Do any of the old names appear?” I queried.

“Oh, yes, there are your old friends, Eggert & Young, who are still in business but they are away up town on Twentieth and Washington Streets, which is the centre of the retail business. The name of Protzman appears, yes, it is Eugene Protzman, but probably not the one you know. He is located at Nineteenth and Morrison and has a nice store.

“The Rosenthals? Yes, they are doing business at Twenty-second and Washington, and I notice the name Friendly often appears in communications from their store which would indicate that the posterity of the framers of this business are still connected.”

“Who is in the furniture business away off there in 1999?” was my next question.

“You would hardly believe it but there is the old name of Ira F. Powers, who maintains an immense establishment on Twelfth and Yamhill Streets. His store is the largest one of the kind in the city.

“Then there is Mack & Abrahams whom you knew once as J.G. Mack & Co., and who were badly burned out along about 1913. I notice that they buy furniture in Turkey and other semi-Oriental countries.”

“Tell me about the big stores formerly located on Front Street, I am very much interested in them, but don’t make your answer read like an ad,” I next remarked.

“I’ll tell you about Allen & Lewis for they are yet doing business, but on a much larger scale. I notice the old sign has been taken down and carefully covered with a thick plate glass to preserve it from the elements and it has been hung back in the same old place and it really looks familiar. They employ an army of men and women clerks and hundreds of vehicles, mostly flying machines, to carry their merchandise to their customers. This business is a monument to the sagacity, honesty, intelligence and fearlessness of Mr. C.H. Lewis, the founder of this great house. His memory is still revered by his own people and those on whom he bestowed kindness.

“The familiar name of Lang & Co., appears on a large building on Oak Street, near West Park, the founder of which was Isador Lang.”

“Who is in the printing business off there on the outskirts of eternity, whose names were once familiar to me?” I queried, as the old lady came to a pause.

“Well, there is the name of F.W. Baltes and Company, who occupy a whole block down near their old location, and it sounds good to me. There are, too, the names of J.R. Rogers & Company and Anderson & Company, but they are located away up town now.”

“Tell me about the hotels, please; are there any of the old land marks left?” I queried.

“Very few, if any. You see, the flying machines revolutionized the hotel business and most of the finest hostelries are now out of town, several being constructed on Mt. Tabor, Council Crest and other eminences. The Multnomah Hotel is still running but the environments and surroundings have wonderfully changed, the old wooden buildings have disappeared and commodious, well-built structures have been erected instead. Space is too valuable down town for hotels, and the traveling public demand more suburban locations where there is more quiet and better air.

“Clossett & Devers are engaged in business away down on Front Street, and occupy a whole block and the odors arising from their coffees and spices smell just as sweet as they did when you passed by their store years ago.

“Now, there is Fleischner, Mayer & Co. They have certainly kept up with the times generally, being just a little in the advance so as to set the pace for their competitors. The business is now being conducted by I.N. Fleischner the Third, M.M. Fleischner the Third, Sol and Sanford Hirsch, Mark Mayer the Third. There are grand nephews of Sam Simon connected with the firm and the old names are much in evidence.

“In the insurance business, I notice we have some of the old names yet. There is James Peter Moffatt, Jr., Rosenblatt Bros., J.D. Wilcox, Jr., John H. Burgard III., J. McI. Wood, L. Samuel III, Henry Hewitt, Edward Hall, F.E. Hart, Thos. Jordan, F.J. Alex Mayer, Frank Motter, Harvey O’Brien. It is remarkable how the sons of professional men follow in the footsteps of their fathers’ business. There is Erskine Wood, who must be a great grandson of Mr. C.E.S. Wood, Robert Strong Sargent, undoubtedly the branch of Harry K. Sargent. Dan J. Malarkey, Jr., the grandson of our Dan. Russell Sewall, whose grandfather you knew well. P.J. Bannon, nephew to our own Mr. Bannon. Henry E. McGinn, who is none other than the grand nephew of Judge H.E. McGinn of the Circuit Court, the most wideawake, fearless exponent of good law in the state, I find the names of M. C. George III, John F. Logan, a grandson of our John. John Ditchburn, once known as ‘Honest John,’ and ‘Gentleman John,’ whose name is among the attorneys of 1999. Here is a list of the rest of these attorneys: J.D. Mann, Chester Murphy, W.D. Fenton, Walter Hayes, John Manning.

“All these are very familiar names to you and they all appear in the telephone directory for 1999, but I must give you a few more whom you will remember, and the old lady read off the following list which sounded good to me: John Beck, Whitney Boise, Geo. Brice, Bronaugh, Citron, D.S. Cohen, Craib, Dolph, Mallory, Duniway, Emmons, Ferrera, Fouts, Carey, Gleason, Glisan, Hogue, Green, Hazen, Holman, Hume, C.M. Idleman, Languth, Logan, Wallace McCamant, McDevitt, L. A. McNary, Moody, Morris, G. C. Moser, Munley, Olsen, Pague, Pipes, F.J. Richardson, Giltner, Chas. J. Schnabel, Shillock, Zera Snow, S. Raynor, Stott, Sweek, Swope, Jos. N. Teal, Upton, Vaughn, Webster, Whalley, Whitfield, Williams, Ryan, Thos. O’Day, Tazwell.

“I must interrupt the routine to tell you something about the innovation in barbering,” remarked the old lady, reaching for a paper in her pocketbook.

“Let’s see, it occurred in A.D. 1951, that an old chemist made a discovery. He ascertained that by a concoction of sage, sulphur and some other ingredients hair can be removed from the face efficaciously and as clean as a barber could shave you. The preparation was made up into some kind of a soap and the lather applied to the whiskers and allowed to remain for three minutes when it was washed off with clean water. This process removed hair from the face without injury to the skin, doing away entirely with the services of a tonsorial artist. It is a wonderful discovery, but it had the bad effect of putting a number of good men out of business.”

“I wonder how this discovery affected my friend, Frank Rogers?” I asked.

“Well,” was the reply, “this occurred in 1951 and I expect that Frank was not caring much for the barber business then, as he got rich in the business prior to that time.” Continuing, the old lady said, “There are now not any more tonsorial apartments than existed in A.D. 1913 and the sphere of usefulness of that kind of talent is confined to hair cutting, massaging and such like.”

The world wags on. “Why,” continued my visitor, “you can leave your measure for a pair of shoes to order and you may come back in 10 minutes and find them all ready to take away with you. The same can be said about getting a suit of clothes which takes just 60 minutes to construct and be ready for wear.”

“Who’s in the banking business that I know, away off there on the verge of time?” I asked of my companion.

“Oh, there are many whom you know,” was her reply. “At least, you will remember the names of many. Ladd & Tilton still conduct their business and I notice a number of the name of Ladd connected with the institution as I take it that the estate is still in the banking business.

“Then there is First National Bank with many familiar names like Corbett, Failing, Alvord, Newkirk, which indicates that the new generation are a branch of the former tree.

“I notice that the Security & Trust Company have officials bearing the names of Adams, Jubitz, Lee and others, but as they are all young men, they must be a later generation than you know. The same is the case with the United States National Bank, where the present officials bear such names as Ainsworth, Barnes and Schmeer. Yes, new generation, too. We have the Merchants’ National Bank, Durhams, Hoyts, Watson’s can be heard giving instructions from the different desks but they, too, don’t belong to your time.”

The old lady was getting to the end of her memorandums, but she still had lots to tell and talk about. “I notice,” she began, “that the first class buildings like the Yeon, the Wilcox, the old Oregonian, the Spalding, the Journal, the Commercial Club and many others of the buildings that you know about are still in fine repair and have stood the ravages of time very well, but our climate deals gently with well-constructed buildings and if care is taken, they will last a long time yet.

“The Pittock building, erected on Mr. Pittock’s old home site, is as beautiful as it was the day it was erected and it is certainly a credit to the city.

“The Elks’ building which covers a full block, is further out on Washington Street and is a beautiful structure. Many elks heads adorn the walls of the lodge room.

“The Selling building at the corner of Sixth and Alder still stands and is in fine condition.

“The firm of Morgan, Fliedner & Boyce, erected many handsome buildings, one, particularly, in the north end, being a wonder. Joseph Boyce’s name appears in the telephone directory, probably a descendant of one of the members of that firm.

“I notice that in all cases that it is a matter of the ‘survival of the fittest,’ and the names of the old people whose descendants are in business were noted in 1913 for their honesty and integrity.

“Sig. Sichel & Co. is a familiar sign around town, evidently the ‘Footprints on the sands of time,’ achieved by our old friend, Sig. Sichel.

“The name of Ben Selling can be seen at half a dozen different stores in various parts of the city.

“The name of W.P. Friedlander is to be seen over a jewelry store on Washington Street, near Sixth, evidently the descendants of the former popular jeweler.

“Another old timer’s name, L.C. Henrichsen, appears over a jewelry store further up on Washington Street, the proprietors of which are the great grandchildren of the merchant of 1913.”

Chapter V.

Prophetess Grows Jocose.

“I want to tell you a joke which I heard the other day that has come thundering down the ages of time and which is told about Theodore B. Wilcox when he was cashier of Ladd & Tilton’s Bank, somewhere in the 1880’s. This will go to show you that people may forget their Bible lessons but they never fail to remember a joke.

“A Frenchman appeared at the depository at First and Stark Streets one day with a check for $750, payable to Jean Crapo. Mr. Wilcox told the Frenchman that he must be identified before he could draw the money. ‘Identified, identified. I don’t know what that means,’ exclaimed the Frenchman. When it was explained to him he said, ‘Oh, I comprenez,’ and producing a photograph of himself from his side pocket, he triumphantly informed Mr. Wilcox that he thought this would be sufficient identification.”

“Yes,” I said, “I remember that story. It was told by Jerry Coldwell in the columns of the Oregonian, and it is hard to believe that people are smiling over the story 120 years later.”

“Another story is told of C.A. Malarkey,” continued the visitor, “and I will relate it:

“Charley was visiting in San Francisco and put up at the Palace Hotel. A darkey had driven him around in his carriage viewing the city all one afternoon and as the dinner hour approached, the cab was about to be discharged when Charley remembered that he needed some neckwear and told the driver to take him to a haberdasher. The darkey drove around several blocks finally stopping to ask, ‘Where did you say you wanted to go, boss?’ ‘I want to go to a haberdasher,’ he replied, and the driver started off again.

“He drove around seven or eight blocks, then dismounted, and in an apologetical tone said, ‘Look hyar, sah, Ise driven this hyar hack for 22 years and neber gib anyone away yet; you just tell me whare it is yer want to go, sah, and Ise de boy that can take yer there.’

“I understand that this anecdote was told the other night at one of the popular lodges under the head of ‘good of the order’,” and the old lady proceeded to look still further into her portmanteau for other items of interest.

“Tell me,” I asked, “what is the force and energy used in producing electricity? They must have found more power for there is so much of it used.”

“Oh, yes,” responded the old lady, “If you remember, there was a movement on foot away back in 1905 to harness the ocean’s waves, but it was determined to be unfeasible. Later on, it was demonstrated that the project was a simple one and now the highway to the ocean is lined with poles carrying power developed by the ocean waves which gives an endless and inexhaustible supply and which is cheap and always reliable. This means of securing power is utilized the entire length of the Pacific Ocean, Atlantic Ocean and on all the Great Lakes, Chicago being the first city to try the experiment from the waters of Lake Michigan.

“This discovery has had the good effect of making it possible to properly conserve the nation’s water supply and has created a new industry. Irrigation by means of huge air tanks filled with water and allowed to rain upon parched spots is the present method of irrigating and it works wondrously well.”

Chapter VI.

The little old lady began to chuckle to herself and explained the occasion for her hilarity. She was reminded of some more stories which she would relate after she read me a few more of the signs that could be seen on Morrison Street in A.D. 1999.

“There is Jaeger Brothers, jewelers, G. Heitkemper, in the same business. Buffum & Pendleton’s kin are located on Morrison Street and are conducting a general hat and clothing store.

“The name Honeyman is quite in evidence in various parts of the city whose antecedents are old Portland stock.

“The name Gill is seen in three different parts of the city, and all are engaged in the book and stationery business.

“L. Mayer’s descendants are engaged in a wholesale grocery business away up town and are prosperous.

“Harold Von Stein Hansen is an enthusiastic leader of the Socialist party, his great grandfather being one of the leaders of that party in the early 1900’s.

“There are a couple of gentlemen in business whose progenitors were favorably known. I refer to Messrs. Kraner & Stose, whose names appear on a sign on Morrison Street.

“Strange to say Broadway is the leading street of the city. The cutting away of the Seventh Street hill and the three bridges connecting Portland with the State of Washington has been a factor in the upbuilding of this thoroughfare.

“Many newcomers are in business on this street and the names would be strange to you.”

Chapter VII.

More Denouements.

By this time, the old lady had finished her memoranda, and she now produced a small book which seemed to contain much data.

“I have not tried to adopt any system in regaling you with my story, but have taken it up by piece-meal, believing that it would be of more interest and, if you do not object, I will continue in the same way.”

I assured her that I was very deeply interested and that the story would be received with much delight by all and begged that she proceed in her own good way.

“For 50 years prior to the present date, the subject of cremation has been vigorously discussed both by press and pulpit and now the people are ready to give up their ancient pagan ideas of burying the dead and have adopted the cleaner, and more economical method of cremation. Cemeteries have been turned into play grounds, tombstones removed and no vestige of the former gruesome abode of the dead is visible.

“This new order of disposing of those who have passed away was at first very bitterly opposed by members of some of the orthodox churches, but the innovation was finally conceded to be right and that it did not conflict with the teachings of any church and it has become the general custom.

“A favorite way of disposing of the ashes is to take them up in an air vehicle out over the Pacific Ocean where the urn is emptied and the ashes carried away by the four winds.

“It is strange how some people want the whole earth and would like to have it fenced off,” pursued the old lady. “When the science of practical, safe and easy air travel became fully demonstrated some property owners had the audacity to erect a sign on their buildings warning all flying machines from trespassing over their property.

“One prominent lawyer who owns property down on First Street was one who objected to having his space invaded by flying machines. He was asked how high in the air he owned and replied, ‘Clear up to the sky.’

“In carrying out this idea, a railroad company recently petitioned the City Commissioners to give them an undisturbed and sole privilege of all space in the air up Seventh Street from the height of 100 feet to 500 feet and excluding all other air vehicles from trespassing on this ‘right of way’ up Seventh to Grant and over the Broadway bridge. I am glad to say the City Commissioners declined this arbitrary spoliation of God’s free air and the franchise was refused.”

Chapter VIII.

Politics Discussed.

“I’d like to know a little something about the politics of the city and state,” I remarked, as the little old woman came to a halt.

“Well, there is lots to tell you about that,” she replied. “Take it, for instance, we are going to have an election for governor next year, in A.D. 2000, and there are but two tickets in the field, one is the Progressives and the other the Socialists.

“A man named Dan Kellaher is candidate on the Progressive ticket and I think he is connected with the famous Dan Kellaher of the early 1900’s, but,” and here the old lady smiled, “we don’t think that he will be elected and one reason is because he fails to be able to demonstrate or tell his constituents how it is possible for a man to ride 67 miles for 5 cents by the transfer system over a metropolitan street car line.

“Ralph Clyde, grandson of the boy who did not get appointed candy inspector, because his father was not elected City Commissioner in 1913, is running for Governor on the Socialist ticket and everybody in the state is aware that he is in the race, judging from the stacks of printing turned out at his grandfather’s office bearing his slogan.

“I notice that the name of Nat Bird appears as a candidate for sheriff, but that very same thing has been going on for 125 years and I could not tell if he is the fourth or fifth of that generation, aspiring for the same office.

“It is not considered good form for anyone to propose himself for office any more and it is rather the idea of the office seeking the man more than it is the man running after the office.

“Billiard and pool tables continue to be a favorite pastime with the young man around town, but ivory balls are no longer available on account of the scarcity of elephants which makes the use of ivory as billiard balls prohibitive. A very good substitute, however, has been found to take the place of the ivory ball.

“I notice that the Oregonian came out a few days ago and asked the question as to who were the three greatest presidents and who do you think the preponderance of opinion fell to? I’ll tell you. Washington, of course, was the first, always first in war, etc. Then Lincoln was second and Grover Cleveland was third. I tell you this will greatly interest your people.

“I forgot to tell you that we had a heavenly visitor recently. No, it was not the reincarnation of any of the Apostles, but just another visit from Halley’s comet. It occurred about 1985 and was a very brilliant affair. Some of the oldest inhabitants remembered hearing their grandparents telling of the appearance of a comet along about 1910 and files of the Oregonian of that year were produced showing photographs of Halley’s comet as it appeared in that year and a prophecy that it would come again in 75 years. There being well-founded proofs of its previous harmless appearance, the comet did not disturb the people and its visit was enjoyed and all were sorry that they would in all probability never see it again as its next scheduled time is A.D. 2060.”

Chapter IX.

Strange Occurrences.

“I must tell you of several most wonderful occurrences which have taken place since 1913,” continued the old lady looking at some papers which she held in her hand.

“It was deemed necessary, about the year 1951 to increase the water supply for the City of Portland and it was ascertained that the conditions at Mount Hood forbade looking to that place for a greater supply and it was decided to utilize the, as yet, great and untouched abundance of water offered by Mount St. Helens, and three years later the pipe line was completed, and water from beautiful St. Helens was turned into the new and immense reservoirs constructed for the ever-increasing population.

“It was fortunate for the city that this new supply was projected and consummated just at this time for it was but a year later that Mt. Hood, which had been ‘groaning’ for some time began to belch forth from its intestines a mass of smoke and lava which bared the mountain of snow and caused much consternation among our people. The volcano continued active for several weeks, at intervals, finally entirely subsiding and it has been on its good behavior now for 25 years. Repairs were made to the pipe line and Portland, today, is getting a portion of its water supply from Mt. Hood as of yore. “The radical changes in the methods of railroading have caused a new era in locomotion and rolling stock. Steam gave way to gasoline and that energy to electricity which held sway for a long time only to be replaced by a newer power, which is not as yet given out to the public.

“The O. W. R. & N. Company now occupy a building of their own, 20 stories high, and I notice the names of Cotton, Sutherland, O’Brien, Campbell, Buckley, Klippel, are still on the official list, all of whom are descendants of the officials who served the company earlier in the century.

“The old Wells, Fargo & Company’s building still stands and that express company occupies the entire structure with no rooms to spare.

“The Hasty Messenger & Express Company, founded in 1899, is celebrating its 100th anniversary, its manager being Napoleon Traverso, whose progenitor was connected with the company in 1910.

“There has been a wonderful improvement in the present-day typewriters. As I mentioned earlier in my story, there is now a universal language with but 8,000 words. Of this number about 1,000 is all sufficient for an ordinary person and the genius of the inventor has reduced to a combination these 1,000 words in such a manner, that it is possible for a good operator to copy a sermon, or lecture, with ease, on the typewriter, from the most rapid talking orator.

“The sphere of usefulness of the phonograph has widened and it is now ‘A thing of joy forever.’ It seems that this splendid instrument is now gifted with almost human intelligence. Take for instance, an item cut from a daily paper and paste it on the cylinder, or disc, and without further preparation, a voice will read off the item to you in a plain, clear tone. Paste on the disc, the ‘Index of today’s news’ from your morning paper and start it going and the items are read off to you correctly and in good voice. Do you wonder then that I call this a great age?” and a pleased smile came to the old lady’s countenance.

“Many splendid brains have been working to better the methods and increase the value and usage of the telephone, and one must ‘hit the ball and hit it all the time’ to be able to hold an official position with a telephone company. The result of these efforts have put the telephone to varied uses. You can now, not only talk to a person over a wire, but you can actually see them, life size and just as they are, exactly as if you were talking to them face to face.

“Telephones are everywhere, but there are no longer any ‘Centrals’ and no more ‘Number, please,’ is heard, that system becoming unpopular about 1925. Public telephones are established on each street corner, where one may call up, talk to and see the person who answers the phone.

“Much telephoning is now being done by wireless and that branch of the service has developed greatly and is used to communicate with aerial vehicles. This service has been perfected, many former objectionable features being eliminated or overcome.

“I am about to relate an occurrence which is by far the most wonderful I have yet told and it is a phenomena which startled the world, making the superstitious quake, and bringing alarm to many nervous people.

“You know that it was in 1912 that the ill-fated Captain Scott planted the flag at the South Pole, losing his valuable life in the ‘get away.’ “Ice was forming at the South Pole, each year encroaching more and more towards the north and some alleged scientific men predicted that the time would surely come when the ice deposit at the South Pole would become so great and the weight so heavy, that it would result in throwing the earth off its present axis, probably tipping up old Mother Earth and reversing the positions of the Equator and the Poles.

“As the century rolled on this doctrine became much talked about and many extravagant speculations were made as to the exact time when the catastrophe would take place, the most advantageous country to emigrate to in order to insure safety, and business generally was much disturbed. It was difficult to sell or hypothecate any real estate, and money and jewels were considered of doubtful value. Continued cold weather, far into the summer months, was the usual occurrence for several years and devastating rains fell upon the earth. Street preaching was the order of the day, and at every corner an earnest man or woman held an interested crowd discussing the Last Day, which they assured the listeners was near at hand. Many people gave away their entire worldly possessions and essayed to get their soul ready for its eternal flight. As the days passed by the excitement increased, and aerial voyages to the South Pole were planned and executed by thousands of people in their air machines. In former days it was a fad to take a trip around the world latitudinally, but now all these tourists wanted to go the other way of the stuff, and make the journey longitudinally, crossing the Frigid, Temperate and Torrid zones, North and South poles, and the journey was completed, by some, in less than 20 days. The reports given out by these travelers were not encouraging and much distress of mind was manifest. “One day a report came that the South Pole was in process of eruption and that the ice was beginning to move. This announcement spread dismay on all sides, many now accepting the evil prognostications as being true, and the excitement was intense. The street preaching became more general but this merely increased the agitation. One preacher, a benevolent looking gentleman, who was very much at ease during all this disturbing period, seemed to be able to quiet the fears of the people by simply stating that God was present everywhere, and he would sing a hymn with that title. His singing and talks were very comforting to many who listened to his words and they patiently waited for what was to come.

“The eruptions continued and every day or two more volcanoes appeared, throwing up steam and lava, breaking up and displacing the ice which now began to move Northward. The huge mass was reported to look very threatening and the many photographs taken of the phenomena only produced more excitement. For days this situation continued, and now the ice was fast disappearing at the South Pole and it was also melting in the ocean as it proceeded north to the fiftieth degree. Disastrous storms ensued and the Western hemisphere was deluged, but the ice was melting rapidly under the fire of a dozen active volcanoes. Reports from the South Pole were growing more encouraging and people were again taking heart when, one day, the Department of the Interior announced that all danger was over. Then there was rejoicing, the like of which never before shook the earth.

“Of course, the return to common sense was marked by many humorous occurrences. The people who showed the most trepidation and who gave away all their earthly possessions, played the Indian act and wanted their presents back. Many said they were glad to begin all over again to accumulate worldly goods and the person who was thanked the most was he who had preached of the Omnipresence of God.

“A wonderful lesson had been taught everybody and that epoch marked the beginning of a truer brotherhood among mankind.”

The old lady paused, and, heaving a sigh, exclaimed, “And, now my story is done. I have tried to illustrate the utter uselessness of borrowing trouble and being apprehensive without reason. I would like to have you tell your readers that it is my advice to heed the words of the poet prophet, ‘Rest in the Lord, and He will give thee thy heart’s desire.’

“What is my name, you ask?” here the old lady sighed again.

“I cannot tell you now, but some day you will know. I hope I have fulfilled my mission and accomplished some good.

“In leaving you I would like you to remember:

And my queer little visitor disappeared.