AUNT DOLEFUL'S VISIT

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How do you do, Cornelia? I heard you were sick, and
I stepped in to cheer you up a little. My friends
often say, "It's such a comfort to see you, Aunt Doleful.
You have such a flow of conversation, and are so lively."
Besides, I said to myself as I came up the stairs, "Perhaps 5
it's the last time I'll ever see Cornelia Jane alive."

You don't mean to die yet, eh? Well, now, how do you
know? You can't tell. You think you are getting better;
but there was poor Mrs. Jones sitting up, and everyone
saying how smart she was, and all of a sudden she was taken 10
with spasms in the heart and went off like a flash.

But you must be careful and not get anxious or excited.
Keep quite calm and don't fret about anything. Of course
things can't go just as if you were downstairs; and I
wondered whether you knew your little Billy was sailing
about in a tub on the mill pond, and that your little Sammy 5
was letting your little Jimmy down from the veranda
roof in a clothes basket.

Goodness! what's the matter? I guess Providence'll
take care of them. Don't look so. You thought Bridget
was watching them? Well, no, she isn't. I saw her talking10
to a man at the gate. He looked to me like a burglar.
No doubt she let him take the impression of the door key
in wax, and then he'll get in and murder you all. There
was a family at Murray Hill all killed last week.

How is Mr. Kobble? Well, but finds it warm in town, eh? 15
Well, I should think he would. They are dropping down by
hundreds there with sunstroke. You must prepare your
mind to have him brought home any day. Anyhow, a
trip on these railroad trains is just risking your life every
time you take one. Back and forth every day as he is, 20
is just trifling with danger.

Scarlet fever has broken out in the village, Cornelia.
Little Isaac Potter has it, and I saw your Jimmy playing
with him last Saturday.

Well, I must be going now. I've got another sick 25
friend, and I sha'n't consider my duty done unless I cheer
her up a little before I sleep. You don't look so well as you did
when I came in. But if anything happens, send for me at
once. If I can't do anything else, I can cheer you up a little.


1. This is an old, favorite recitation. What do you think of this type of humor as compared with Mark Twain's?


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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