Bob Brierley had been wed three months. He wor a book-keeper an a varry daycent chap for owt aw knaw to th' contrary. His wife wor a nice young thing, an blest wi a gooid share o' common sense. It seems strange, but yo'll find its generally th' case, at th' best lasses wed th' biggest fooils. But this isn't allus soa, for aw wed one o'th best misen.

Hasumivver, Bob an his wife wor varry happy, at leeast they thowt soa, but they had to have a taste o' trubble like th' rest o' fowk.

They'd noa childer, nor onny signs o' onny, but they had a bull pup. It wor a gooid job i' one respect at they had this pup, for if they hadn't aw should ha been short ov a subject to write abaat.

Whether it had etten summat at upset it stummack, or whether it grew sick o' seein them fondlin an messin wi one another aw dooant know, but ther's noa daat abaat it bein sick.

This didn't bother Bob varry mich;—men havn't sich tender feelins as wimmin, but Angelina, (that wor wife's name, but her husband called her Angel) wor i' sooar trubble. Shoo gave it castor oil, an hippi-kick-yor-Anna, an coddled it up i' flannel, an cried ovver it, an when Bob coom hooam to his drinkin, an grumeld becoss it worn't ready, shoo called him a hard hearted infidel.

Bob didn't quite like it, but seein at shoo wor soa put abaght, he made shift wi sich things as wor handy, an then tuk his share o' nursin wol Angel cook'd a beefsteak for hersen.

But i' spite ov all they could do, it just fittered once an gave a farewell yelp, and deed. It wor a sorrowful neet. Whether they lost onny sleep ovver it aw dooan't know, but next mornin Angelina sed shoo'd "had its voice ringin in her ears all th' neet, an shoo thowt shoo'd nivver get ovver th' loss on it."

"Oh, we'st get ovver it i' time," sed Bob, "it nobbut cost ten an sixpence, an when aw get mi wage advanced aw'll buy another."

Angelina made noa reply to what shoo considered a varry unfeelin remark, an for th' furst time durin ther wedded life shoo began to suspect at Bob wor noa better nor th' rest o' fowk.

"What mun we do wi th' little darlin?" shoo axt.

"Why, chuck it i'th middin," sed Bob, an then seein a luk ov horror coom ovver her face, "unless tha intends to have it stuffed, or mak sawsiges on it."

This wor moor nor Angelina could stand, an sinkin into th' rockin cheer, shoo wod ha fainted reight away, but happenin to see th' clock, shoo saw it wor time for Bob to start for his wark, an he couldn't stop to bring her raand, soa shoo had to pospone faintin till another time.

"Happen awd better bury it i'th garden," he sed, "it willn't tak a minnit."

"E'e! nay!" shoo sed, "aw'll lap it up i' some nice clean newspaper, an tha mun tak it wi thi, an when tha finds a nice secluded spot, whear it can rest peacefully, lay it to rest."

"All reight, lass! put it on th' table wol aw goa for mi hat an coit," sed Bob, "an dunnot freeat."

Angelina lapt it carefully up, an sat daan to have a gooid cry, an Bob coom rushin daan, feeard he'd be lat, tuckt th' bundle under his arm an set off intendin to drop it into th' furst ashpit he coom to.

He passed monny a one, but ther wor allus somdy abaat, an he couldn't get a chonce o' gettin shut on it, an he wor foorced to tak it to th' office wi him. This didn't trubble him varry mich, for he'd allus a hawf an haar for his lunch at twelve o'clock, soa he detarmined he'd dispooas on it then, an i'th meantime, he put it in a cubboard i'th office, whear it wodn't be seen.

It seem'd to Bob at moor fowk went to th' cubboard that mornin nor had ivver been to it befoor.

"Its time this cubboard had a clean aght," sed th' manager as he wor huntin for a book, "it smells like a vault."

Bob tremeld, but all passed off safely. Twenty times during that mornin he wor put in a sweeat wi' furst one an another, but twelve o'clock coom at last, an waitin till tother clarks had gooan, he grabbed his parcel, an jumpt in th' furst tramcar he saw,—luckily ther wor nobbut one man inside an he wor readin a paper,—soa puttin his parcel i'th opposite corner, he jumpt off at the next stoppin place. He started off at full speed an wor just beginnin to smile at his own clivverness, when somdy shaated.

"Hi! Hi, thear!" an turning to luk, he saw a man rushin towards him holdin his parcel.

"You forgot your parcel, young man," he said, puffin an blowin, "it was lucky I happened to see it!"

Bob sed "thank yo" as weel as he could, an then sed summat else, which aw willn't repeat, an tuckin it under his arm, he went to th' place whear he usually gat his breead an cheese an his glass o' bitter.

He sat in a quiet corner, an one bi one th' customers went aght, an thinkin he saw a favourable chonce, he put his bundle on th' seeat, and threw a newspaper carelessly ovver it, supt up—an when he thowt nubdy wor lukkin he quietly left it an wor sooin back in his office, feelin wonderfully relieved. But he hadn't seen th' last on it even then.

All wor quiet except for th' scratchin o' pens, for th' maister wor sittin at his private desk, when a redheeaded lad,—Bob thowt he wor th' ugliest lad he'd ivver seen in his life,—coom in grinnin, an sydlin up to him, an holdin th' parcel at arms length, as if he wor feeared o' bein bitten, he sed, "th' lanlord o'th 'Slip Inn' has sent this,—he says yo left it on th' seeat."

Bob snatched it aght ov his hand an put it in his desk, but th' lad still stood grinnin.

"Dooan't aw get owt for bringin it? Aw know what it is, an aw should think its worth summat."

Bob's face wor as red as a hep, an th' sweeat wor like dew on his forheead,—th' leeast coin he had wor a shillin, but he put it into his hand an bundled him aght, wol th' maister gave him a luk at made him uncomfortable for th' balance o'th day.

When five o'clock set him at liberty, he tuk his parcel once moor an started for hooam; but ther wor a grim luk ov determination on his face.

"Aw'll get rid o' thee this time, if aw have to walk twenty mile to find a place," he sed. "Th' chap aw bowt thee on, sed ther wor nowt like a bull pup for stickin, an tha's stuck to me wi a vengence. Aw wodn't goa throo another day like this for all th' bull pups i' Bulgaria! An if Angelina ivver perswades me to buy another aw hooap they'll call me bull pup for th' rest o' mi days!"

He'd nearly getten hooam, when he coom to th' corner ov a small croft, an as ther wor nubdy abaat he dropt it ovver th' wall; an mutterin summat throo his teeth, an shakkin his fists, he went hooam, but net i'th sweetest o' tempers.

Angelina lukt him up an daan, an in a surprised voice axt, "Hasn't ta browt it back?"

"Browt it back! Browt what back? Does ta think awm daft?"

"Why, then what's to be done? Ther's nowt to cook for thi drinkin!"

"Drinkin! What's that to do wi it? Tha sewerly didn't think o' cookin—"

"Aw thowt when tha fan aght th' mistak tha'd ha sent it back."

"Mistak! What are ta drivin at? What wi th' bull pup an thee yu'll send me wrang i' mi heead!"

"Why, didn't ta know at tha'd taen th' wrang parcel? Tha tuk th' leg o' lamb at th' butcher's lad had just browt, an left th' poor dog on th' table!"

"Th' deuce aw did? What's ta done wi it?"

"Aw gave a man sixpence to tak it away. But whear's th' leg o' lamb?"

"Hold on a minnit! It's nooan far off."

An withaat another word he started off, an as luck let, it wor just whear he dropt it. He oppened th' parcel to mak sewer it wor all reight, an then he set off back.

"Well, if onnybody had tell'd me at aw wor sich a fooil as net to be able to tell th' difference between a leg o' lamb an a bull pup aw wodn't ha believed em;—but th' best on us are fooils sometimes."

"Here it is, Angelina,—cut off a steak or two an let's have summat to get th' taste o' that bull pup aght o' mi maath! Awm sooary at tha's lost thi pet, but tha munnot tak it too mich to heart."

"Me! Net aw marry! Awm rare an fain its gooan for little dogs mak a deal o' muck:—An somtime,—ther's noa knowin, ov coarse—but it may be,—mind, nobbut say it may,—we may have summat else to nurse at'll suit us better nor a bull pup."