OULEVARD des Italiens;—aw copied that off a gas-lamp. It's a grand saandin name but it is'nt hauf as grand as th' street, (for it is nobbut a street after all.)

When Billy an' me turned aght we lukt as spruce as two new scraped carrots, an' we walked along th' street like as if we'd just come into one fortun an' wor expectin another. It wor a lively lukkin seet, varry nearly ivvery other door wor a Cafe or a resterant or a saloon, an' ith' front on'em all wor little tables an' cheers an' chaps wor sittin an' chattin an' laffin just as if they'd been i' ther own hooams, an' ther wor one thing at aw could'nt but admire an' that wor,'at they had ther wives an' ther sisters an' ther dowters wi'em, an' altho' we could'nt tell owt they sed, it wor easy to tell at they wor all enjoyin thersen. We walked along, starin at all abaat us, for ther wor a deeal at wor strange to us. Th' gas-lamps all seemed to grow aght o' sentry boxes, an' they wor leeted up like lanterns an' wor turned into newspaper or cigar shops, an' th' leets throo th' winders made all seem as breet as day ommost. Even Billy seemed satisfied wi it.

But we sooin gat to whear it wor breeter still, an' lukkin up at th' corner ov a buildin' aw saw we'd getten to th' Champs Elysees, an' what th' Elysees is, is unknown to me, but thaasands o' gas jets wor blazing away an' thaasands o' fowk wor sittin enjoyin ther drink an' ther smook or strollin on, chattin an' laffin, as if th' world an' them wor varry gooid friends. We went wi th' stream an' sooin fan ussen i' th' Tuileries Gardens, whear bands o' music wor playin an' th' faantens wor workin, an' th' lamps wor moor plentiful nor ivver. Aw wor enjoyin misen furst rate, an' aw knew Billy must be for he'd nivver grummeld once an' he wor soa takken up wi things abaat him wol he'd forgetten to get dry, an' it wornt until aw wanted a leek on misen'at he bethowt him he'd a maath. It wor strange to me to see him suppin his caffy-o-'lay, (yo see awm leearnin French) asteead ov his pint o' ale, an' aw tell'd him soa, "When yo're i' Rum yo mun do as th' Rummens do," he sed, "an' aw dooant think at th' ale is quite as gooid here as it wor at hooam!" We strolled on until we saw summat breeter an' moor glitterin nor all else an' we made for that. Aw thowt it wor a triumphal arch'at had been put up for some famous chap to goa throo, an' aw straitened mi shirt collar an' shooldered mi umberel an' walked wi as mich dignity as aw could, but it wor noa use jfor we had to pay to goa in. A'a! but it wor a grand spot! It wor unlike owt awd ivver seen befoor! aw've heeard fowk tawk abaat fairy land, but fairy land wor a fooil to it—faantens an' flaars an' coloured lamps ivverywhear an' ith' middle on it all wor a stage for doncin, an' a band o' mewsic. As we wor lukkin at it a chap comes up an' says, "Billy, Billy," an aw nivver saw Billy luk as capt i' mi life. "Tha knows mi name," he sed, "but awm blessed if aw can tell whear aw've met thi befoor," an' he held aght his hand to shake hands wi him an' as sooin as he did this, th' chap shoved him a ticket into it an' stood waitin' Aw saw ther wor a mistak somewhear, soa aw tuk one an' gave th' chap a franc an' he left us, an' then aw saw at they wer nobbut programmes for th' Jardin Mabille. Th' music struck up, th' doncin stage wor sooin full o' fowk, (an' some o' th' grandest young wimmen aw ivver saw i' mi life; nay, they lukt ommost too grand for owt but angels,) an' ther wor hundreds standin raand to watch'em, an' Billy an' me wor ith' front row. It wor a dazzlin seet, one aw shall nivver forget, but one such as aw hooap nivver to see agean. Aw dooant believe th' pen's been made yet at i' th' cliverest hand could tell what that wor like. It wor indescribable! an' aw may as well let it pass withaat makkin an' attempt at it; but if all th' fiends i' Hell had stown heavenly shapes an' played such shameless pranks, Satan wod ha turned away an' blushed for em. An' yet, this wor done ith' front o' weel dressed men an' wimmen, some on'em wi ther sons an' dowters standin by,—young, an' innocent;—will ther innocence aghtlive ther youth? Awm feeard net. An' soa that's what all theas blazin leets an' flaars an' faantens an' temples is for. A glitterin frame to a filthy picter! a string o' jewels to hide a festerin sooar! hide! did aw say? Nay, net soa! but to deck; an' bi that means to thrust th' looathsum cancer in yer face an' seek for admiration, an' applause for that which makes ivvery drop o' virtuous blooid i' yor body stop in its coarse an' hurry back to th' inmost chamber o' yor heart to mourn ovver th' deeath o' ther sister, Modesty.

We stopt wol we thowt we'd seen enuff (aw thowt we'd seen too mich,) an' then we turned to-ward's 'Hooam, Sweet Hooam,' (tho' yo can cut th' middle word aght an' net loise mich o' th' trewth,) an' when we gat thear we pyked off to us beds, rare an' fain'at we'd beds to goa to, for we wor just abaat done up. Aw slept varry weel considerin', tho' aw dreamt a gooid bit, an' mi dreams worn't as pleasant as aw could ha liked em, for all th' neet long aw fancied at aw wor runnin' as hard as aw could to get aght o' th' gate o' awr Mally, an' shoo wor after me wi th' pooaker i' one hand to knock me daan, an' th' bellus ith' tother to blow me up, an' fowk a booath sides wor scageift me wi ladies heigh heeld booits, silk stockin's an' stuff, an' when aw wakkened aw wor thankful to find at aw wor at a safe distance throo em all, an' especially Mally. But ther wor a fearful row gooin on i' th' next raam to mine, an' aw wor a bit befoor aw could reight reckon it up, but when aw bethowt me at that wor whear Billy slept, aw jumpt aght o' bed as if ther'd been a whut cinder under me an' flew to see what wor to do. It wor a rare gooid job aw went, for if aw had'nt, one o' them two wod ha been tried for manslufter, an' it wod'nt ha been Billy. Nah, awve monny a time nooaticed what an' amaant o' courage ther is in a pair o' booits an' a pair o' britches, for aw nivver yet met a brave man when in his shirt an nowt else—let a chap have his booits an' his britches on, an' he'll run th' risk o' havin' a bullet sent throo his heead or his heart, but ther's net monny at'll goa bare fooit an' run th' risk o' havin' ther corns trodden on. Well, when aw jumpt aght o' th' arms o' Morpheus, aw did'nt stop to put owt on, an' when aw gate into th' next hoil an' went daan onto mi knees to seperate Billy an' another chap, aw lukt varry mich like what th' infant Sammywell wod ha lukt like at my age if they'd dressed him ith' same fashion as aw've allusseen him pictured in as a child. Nah, ther's an' owd sayin' at one Englishman is equal to two Frenchmen at ony time—but like a lot moor o' th' old sayins it isnt true, for there are times when one Frenchman can bother a couple o' Yorkshermen, (an' they're English if onybody is,) an' this happened to be a case in point; an' ther's noa daat he'd ha lickt us booath if he'd takken us booath at once, but when aw started o' him he left Billy an' stuck to me, an' as we wor rollin' on th' floor Billy lukt aght for a chonce, an' sat him daan fair on his shirt front, an' that settled him. If he'd been seized wi th' neet-mare he wod'nt ha been hauf as helpless, as he wor under Billy's horse weight. My ovver coit (aw call it ovver coit for it wor all aw had ovver me, an' nah it wor all ovver wi it,) hung raand me like strings o' tape, an' aw borrowed a sheet off Billy's bed to wind raand me, tho' aw did'nt like th' idea ov a windin' sheet; but Mally's allusdrilled noations o' daycency into me, an' aw knew shoo'd forgie me a deeal sooiner for gooin to th' Exhibition nor for makkin one. When Billy had getten his puff, (an' bi that time th' chap he wor sittin on had lost his,) he began to explain matters. "What does ta think?" he sed, "when aw wor asleep i' bed this mornin', this black muzzled, Kay-legged Payris chap coom into my raam, an' when aw wakkened up he wor marchin away wi mi britches, an' all mi brass is ith' pockets, an' when aw lawped aght o' bed to stop him he grinned an' gabbered away as mich as to say at awd promised to give em him th' neet coom on drest to represent Liberty—republican liberty aw mean,—an' shoo shaated an' yell'd an' threw hersen into shapes, an' waved a flag abaat, an' altogether kickt up sich a row,'at th' fowk all began to shaat an' yell an' wave ther caps abaat as if they wor goin wrang i' ther heeads, (if sich heeads can,) an' when shoo'd done they kept up sich a hullaballoo wol shoo coom back agean for a oncoor, but we'd had enough soa we pyked aght as quietly as we could an' wended us way hooam. We bid one another 'gooid neet,' an' wor sooin i' bed, net sooary to know at it ud be Sundy ith' mornin."

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DIMANCHE.

VEN i' Payris day seems to braik moor softly o' th' Sabbath nor ony other day i' th' wick, an' th' burds tune ther throats to a mellower nooat, an' th' sun seems to kiss old mother Eearth moor lovingly, an' th' trees wave ther branches wi' a slower, statelier nod, as they whisper to each other an' to ivverything araand, "It s Sunday." It may nobbut be a fancy, but it's one o' them fancies aw favor, an' i' th' time o' bits o' upsets an' bother, (an' aw get mi' share same as th' rest o' fowk,) aw fall back o' that inner chaymer whear aw've stoored up pleasant memories an fond con-caits an' find a comfort i' livin for a while amang mi fancies an' mi follies. When aw gat daan to mi braikfast Billy wor waitin', an' aw could see'at Sundy made a difference even to him. His shirt neck lukt stiffer, an' he'd put a extra dooas o' tutty on his top-pin', an' he'd treated hissen to a shave for th furst time sin he'd left hooam, an' when he bid me gooid clothes early in the morning an' brush them and bring them back, he's the valet de chambre.

"Aw want nawther hills nor vallies i' my chaymer an' if awd been i' mi own haase awst ha gien him his mornin's fisick aglri ov a blunderbus, an' he'd nivver come for a second dooas. But aw should feel varry mich obleeged to yo if yo'd order theas fowk aght o' this hoil, th' wimmen espescially, an' then if ther's owt wrang, as sooin as awm weshed an' donned awst be ready to answer for it."

"Oh, that's no matter," he sed, "the women here think nothing about it."

"Happen net,—but that's noa reason aw should'nt." Soa th' maister turned raand an' tell'd em all ha ther'd been a mistak an' after laffin a bit, they pitied us an' coom to stroke us daan as if we'd been a couple o' cannibals at had swollered a missionary in a mistak', an' wor to be sympathised wi, becoss we knew noa better. An' if Billy had been a cannibal he could'nt ha been moor savage nor he wor when one old woman wi a face like a dried caah blether, went an' shoved her maath under his nooas an' gave him sich a dooas o' onions'at that an' a bit o' liver wod ha done for his braik-fast.

Th' maister made us understand at it ud be better to give em a trifle just to save ony bother, soa Billy gate his britches an' pooled aght a handful o' silver an' held it for him to help hissen, but he nobbut tuk aght one france an' gave it to one o' th' police'at awd fancied wor a sodger, an' he held it up for em all to see, an' they went aght smilin an' makkin bows an' droppin curtsey's as if we wor kings.—Thinks aw, a little brass gooas a long way here, for if yod to give a shillin to two chaps at hooam, one on em ud be sewer to turn raand an ax if yo intended that for em booath.

We made a hearty braikfast after all wor squared up an' then we began to plan ha to spend th' day, just then th' pooastman coom in an' after starin at me for a minit, he gave me a letter—When aw saw th' envelop aw did'nt wonder at him lukkin a bit hard at me, for it wor throo Mally an' shoo's a way ov her own wi mooast things, an' as shoo knew at Sammywell Grimes' wor English, an' varry likely could'nt be understood bi forriners, shoo'd cut mi pictur off th' back o' one o' th' "Seets i' Lundun," an' pasted it on, an' had written undernaith

"Public Haase,

Payris."

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