The coarse mode of procedure in Ahab v. Naboth ruthlessly exposed and carefully contrasted with the humane and enlightened form of the present day.

Here I awoke, and my wife said unto me, “Dear, you have been dreaming and talking in your sleep.”

Now fearing for what I may have said, although of a tolerably clear conscience, I enquired if she could tell me what words I had uttered. She replied that I had mentioned the names of many eminent men: such as Mr. Justice Common Sense.

“Indeed,” quoth I; and then I told my dream. Upon which she observed, that it seemed there must be much exaggeration. To this I made answer that dreams do generally magnify events, and impress them more vividly upon the senses, inasmuch as the imagination was like a microscope: it enabled you to see many things which would escape the naked eye.

“But,” said my partner, “if they are distorted?”

“If they are distorted, they are not reliable; but a clear imagination, like a good lens, faithfully presents its objects, although in a larger form, in order that those who have no time for scientific observation, may see what the scientist desires to direct their attention to. There are creatures almost invisible to the naked eye, which, nevertheless, cause great irritation to the nerves. So, also, there are matters affecting the body corporate of these kingdoms which the public are blind to and suffer from, but which, if thoroughly exposed, they may be inclined to take a hand in removing.”

“I don’t believe that Mr. O’Rapley,” said she: “he seems a cantankerous, conceited fellow.”

“Why so he is; but cantankerous and conceited fellows sometimes speak the truth. They’re like those cobwebbed, unwholesome-looking bottles which have lain a long time in cellars. You would hardly like to come in contact with them, and yet they often contain a clear and beautiful wine. This Mr. O’Rapley is a worthy man who knows a great deal, and although a bit of a toady to his superiors, expresses his opinions pretty freely behind their backs.”

“And what of this Master Bumpkin—this worthy Master Bumpkin I hear you speak of so often?”

“A very shrewd man in some respects and a silly one in others.”

“Not an unusual combination.”

“By no means.”

And then I told her what I have already related; to which she observed it was a pity some friend had not interposed and stopped the business. I answered, that friends were no doubt useful, but friends or no friends we must have law, and whether for sixpence or a shilling it ought to be readily attainable: that no one would be satisfied with having no other authority than that of friendship to settle our disputes; and besides that, friends themselves sometimes fell out and were generally the most hard to reconcile without an appeal to our tribunals.

“Well, it does seem a pity,” said she, “that judges cannot sit as they did in Moses’ time at all seasons so as to decide expeditiously and promptly between the claims of parties.”

“Why so they do sit ‘continuously,’” quoth I, “but the whole difficulty consists in getting at them. What is called procedure is so circuitous and perplexing, that long before you get to your journey’s end you may faint by the way.”

“Is there no one with good sense who will take this matter up and help this poor man to come by his rights. It must be very expensive for him to be kept away from his business so long, and his poor wife left all alone to manage the farm.”

“Why, so it is, but then going to law, which means seeking to maintain your rights, is a very expensive thing: a luxury fit only for rich men.”

“Why then do people in moderate circumstances indulge in it?”

“Because they are obliged to defend themselves against oppressive and unjust demands; although I think, under the present system, if a man had a small estate, say a few acres, and a rich man laid claim to it, it would be far better for the small man to give up the land without any bother.”

“But no man of spirit would do that?”

“No, that is exactly where it is, it’s the spirit of resistance that comes in.”

“Resistance! a man would be a coward to yield without a fight.”

“Why so he would, and that is what makes law such a beautiful science, and its administration so costly. Men will fight to the last rather than give in. If Naboth had lived in these times there would have been no need of his death in order to oust him from his vineyard. Ahab could have done a much more sensible thing and walked in by process of law.”

“In what way?”

“In the first place he could have laid claim to a right of way, or easement as it is called, of some sort: or could have alleged that Naboth had encroached on his land by means of a fence or drain or ditch.”

“Well, but if he hadn’t?”

“If he hadn’t, so much the better for the Plaintiff, and so much the worse for Naboth.”

“I don’t understand; if Naboth had done no wrong, surely it would be far better for him than if he had.”

“Not in the long run, my dear: and for this reason, if he had encroached it would have taken very little trouble to ascertain the fact, and Naboth being a just and honest man, would only require to have it pointed out to him to remedy the evil. Maps and plans of the estate would doubtless have shown him his mistake, and, like a wise man, he would have avoided going to law.”

“I see clearly that the good man would have said, ‘Neighbour Ahab, we have been on neighbourly terms for a long lime, and I do not wish in any way to alter that excellent feeling which has always subsisted between us. I see clearly by these maps and plans which worthy Master Metefield hath shown me that my hedge hath encroached some six inches upon thy domain, wherefore, Neighbour Ahab, take, I pray thee, as much of the land as belongeth unto thee, according to just admeasurement.”

“Why certainly, so would the honest Naboth have communed with Ahab, and there would have been an end of the business.”

“But show me, darling, how being in the wrong was better for good Naboth than being in the right in this business?”

“Most willingly,” said I; “you see, my dear, there was quickly an end of the matter by Naboth yielding to the just demands of neighbour Ahab. But now let us suppose honest Naboth in the right concerning his vineyard, and neighbour Ahab to be making an unjust demand. You have already most justly observed that in that case it would be cowardly on the part of Naboth to yield without a struggle?”

“Assuredly.”

“Well then, that means a lawsuit.”

“But surely,” said my wife, “it ought to be soon seen who is in the wrong. Where is Master Metefield who you said just now was so accurate a surveyor, and where are those plans you spoke of which showed the situation of the estates?”

“Ah, my dear, I see you know very little of the intricacies of the law; that good Master Metefield, instead of being a kind of judge to determine quickly as he did for Master Naboth what were the boundaries of the vineyard, hath not now so easy a task of it, because Ahab being in the wrong he is not accepted by him as his judge.”

“But if the plans are correct, how can he alter them?”

“He cannot alter them, but the question of correctness of boundary as shown, is matter of disputation, and will have to be discussed by surveyors on both sides, and supported and disputed by witnesses innumerable on both sides: old men coming up with ancient memories, hedgers and ditchers, farmers and bailiffs and people of all sorts and conditions, to prove and disprove where the boundary line really divides Neighbour Naboth’s vineyard from Neighbour Ahab’s park.”

“But surely Naboth will win?”

“All that depends upon a variety of things, such as, first, the witnesses; secondly, the counsel; thirdly, the judge; fourthly, the jury,”

“O,” said my wife, “pray don’t go on to a fifthly—it seems to me poor Naboth is like to have a sorry time of it before he establish his boundary line.”

“Ay, if he ever do so: but he first is got into the hands of his Lawyers, next into the hands of his Counsel, thirdly, into Chancery, fourthly, into debt—”

“Pray, do not let us have a fifthly here either; I like not these thirdlys and fourthlys, for they seem to bring poor Naboth into bad case; but what said you about debt?”

“I say that Naboth, not being a wealthy man, but, as I take it, somewhat in the position of neighbour Bumpkin, will soon be forced to part with a good deal of his little property in order to carry on the action.”

“But will not the action be tried in a reasonable time, say a week or two?”

“I perceive,” cried I, “that you are yet in the very springtide and babyhood of innocence in these matters. There must be summonses for time and for further time; there must be particulars and interrogatories and discoveries and inspections and strikings out and puttings in and appeals and demurrers and references and—”

“O, please don’t. I perceive that poor Naboth is already ruined a long way back. I think when you came to the interrogatories he was in want of funds to carry on the action.”

“A Chancery action sometimes takes years,” said I.

“Years! then shame to our Parliament.”

“I pray you do not take on so,” said I. “Naboth, according to the decree of Fate, is to be ruined. Jezebel did it in a wicked, clumsy and brutal manner. Anyone could see she was wrong, and her name has been handed down to us with infamy and execration. I now desire to show how Ahab could have accomplished his purpose in a gentle, manly and scientific manner and saved his wife’s reputation. Naboth’s action, carried as it would be from Court to Court upon every possible point upon which an appeal can go, under our present system, would effectually ruin him ages before the boundary line could be settled. It would be all swallowed up in costs.”

“Poor Naboth!” said my wife.

“And,” continued I, “the law reports would hand down the cause celebre of Ahab v. Naboth as a most interesting leading case upon the subject of goodness knows what: perhaps as to whether a man, under certain circumstances, may not alter his neighbour’s landmark in spite of the statute law of Moses.”

“And so you think poor Naboth would be sold up?”

“That were about the only certain event in his case, except that Ahab would take possession and so put an end for ever to the question as to where the boundary line should run.”

Here again I dozed.