WE held a peace convention in Coyoteville last night,

A reg'lar Haygue Tribunal fer order, law, an' right,

Fer we'd about concluded that fightin' come too free

An' municipal conditions wasn't all they ought to be.

"Dad" Sykes had been to Denver an' Blake to Omaha,

An' they come back a-preachin' of the sights which they had saw,

How no one carried weepons an' folks was nice an' mild.

An', compared with them there cities, Coyoteville was wild.

In Coyoteville the habit of some gentlemen at nights,

If they felt in pleasant spirits, was to puncture out the lights.

Also, in questions dealin' with a social poker game

They was prone to draw their irons an' argue with the same.

All which, from "Dad" Sykes' view-point, an' likewise Mister Blake's,

Was morally pervertin' an' the biggest of mistakes,

Since Coyoteville's best people had begun a-takin' pride

In makin' her the model of the cattle-countryside.

Therefore, we held a meetin' in the Frou-Frou Dancin' Hall;

"Dad" Sykes he played first fiddle an' Blake was there to call—

I mean that Sykes persided an' Billy wrote it down

When motions was perpounded on how to run the town.

"Bat" Blarcum broached the idee, supported by a speech,

That the closin' of the thirst-joints was the only thing would reach,

Since liquor bred dissension which only blood could stop

As he knew from observation, though he "never touched a drop!"

Then Pierpont Robyn Stebbins arose an' begged to say.

That the road to civic virtue lay quite another way:

To punish weepon toters would be the proper feat—

Jest confiscate their weepons an' make 'em clean the street.

But Bobby Earl was doubtful of Pierpont Robyn's plan;

He thought that cleaning roadways would humiliate a man.

"Bat" Blarcum felt as Earl did, an' inferred that Stebbins' scheme

Was degenerate an' Eastern an' an iridescent dream.

Then Pierpont stood up coldly an' stated to the Chair

That Mister Earl's opinions would be weighty anywhere,

Therefore he meekly yielded, lest he be crushed indeed

By the most substantial leader of the law an' order creed.

Now Bobby weighed three hundred an' it somewhat nettled him

To be ridiculed in public there by Stebbins, who was slim,

But the Chairman wouldn't hear him till Pierpont's partner, Drew,

Had made some observations about "Bat" Blarcum, too.

Which last, he said he hated to cast aspersions 'round,

But he felt "Bat's" plan of action was very far from sound,

An' he questioned these reformers whose reform was brought about

Through a hate for rum engendered by the Keeley curin' route.

He finished; whereat Bobby raised objections an' was pained

At the style of Stebbins' language—an' Bobby was sustained.

Then Stebbins said the Chairman might be strong an' somethin' more,

But he dared not try sustainin' Mister Earl down on the floor!

By this time indications made it plain to persons there

That a spirit of contention was a-breedin' in the air,

Fer Drew jumped through a window as Blarcum slowly rose,

While Bobby Earl was aimin' fer Pierpont Stebbins' nose.

The other folks concluded it was gettin' time they went,

An' started fer the doorways by unanimous consent,

While the Chair came down on Stebbins regardless of the law,

An' Blake propelled the Minutes at Mister Blarcum's jaw.

There'll be a bunch of fun'rals in Coyoteville today;

Some well-known ex-reformers in the leadin' parts will play;

An' Coyoteville's considerin' this lesson o'er an' o'er,

That peace may have its battles as well, sometimes, as war.

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