  (A Note from One who has all but done it) Dear Mr. Punch.—Now that so many of my countrymen (the word includes both sexes) patronise Monte Carlo, it is well that they should be provided with an infallible system. Some people think that a lucky pig charm or a piece of Newgate rope produces luck. But this impression is caused by a feeling of superstition—neither more nor less. What one wants in front of the table is a really scientific mathematical system. This I am prepared to give. Take a Napoleon as a unit, making up your mind to lose up to a certain sum, and do not exceed that sum. Now back the colour twenty consecutive times. Don't double, but simply keep to the unit. When you have lost to the full extent of your limit, double your stake. Keep to this sum for another twenty turns. By this time it is a mathematical certainty that you must either have won—or lost. Of course, if you have won Of course, if you still lose it will be unfortunate, but you cannot have everything. And with this truism, I sign myself, FOREIGNERS IN FRANCE FOREIGNERS IN FRANCEFirst Foreigner. "This is what they call À la Russe, isn't it!" Second Foreigner. "Alleroose is it? Well there! I could a' sworn it warn't beef nor mutton." THE BRITISH BATHER(By a Dipper in Brittany) [Apropos of a correspondence in the Daily Graphic] Mrs. Grundy rules the waves, With Britons for her slaves— They're fearful to disport themselves, Unless the sexes sort themselves And take their bathing, sadly, for French gaiety depraves (!) 'Tis time no more were seen The out-of-date "machine"; Away with that monstrosity Of prudish ponderosity— Why can't we have the bathing tent or else the trim cabine? I think we should advance If we took a hint from France, And mingled (quite decorously) On beaches that before us lie All round our coasts—we do abroad whene'er we get the chance! O'er here in St. MalÓ The thing's quite comme il faut; Why not in higher latitude? I can't make out the attitude Of those who make the British dip so "shocking," dull and slow! NOTES FROM MR. PUNCH'S FOREIGN SKETCH-BOOK NOTES FROM MR. PUNCH'S FOREIGN SKETCH-BOOKFeeding the Pigeons at St. Mark's Square, Venice L'ANGLAIS FIN-DE-SIÈCLE L'ANGLAIS FIN-DE-SIÈCLEFirst Tripper (in French Picture Gallery). "What O! 'Erb! What price this?" Gardien (who quite understands him). "Pardon, M'sieur, eet is not 'Watteau,' and eet is not for sale!" The Customs Office Tourist expostulates: "Oh—h, come! Them seegar is poor le—le—le—foomigaseong de mor-mem—yer fool!" |
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