PUNCH'S NAVAL SONGSTER

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It is a well-known fact that the songs of Dibdin had a wonderful effect on the courage of the Navy, and there is no doubt that the Ben Blocks, Ben Backstays, Tom Tackles, and Tom Bowlings, were, poetically speaking, the fathers of our Nelsons, our Howes, our St. Vincents, and our Codringtons. It will be the effort of Punch's Naval Songster to do for the Thames what Dibdin did for the Sea, and to inspire with courage those honest-hearted fellows who man the steamers on the river. If we can infuse a little spirit into them—which, by the bye, they greatly want—our aim will be fully answered.

NO. I.—IT BLEW GREAT GUNS

It blew great guns when Sammy Snooks

Mounted the rolling paddles;

He met the mate with fearful looks—

They shook each other's daddles.

The word was given to let go,

The funnel gave a screamer,

The stoker whistled from below,

And off she goes, blow high, blow low,

The Atalanta steamer.

His native Hungerford he leaves,

His Poll of Pedlar's Acre,

Who now ashore in silence grieves

Because he did not take her.

There's a collision fore and aft;

Against the pier they squeeze her.

"Up boys, and save the precious craft,

We from the station shall be chaff'd—

Ho—back her—stop her—ease her."

Aha! the gallant vessel rights,

She goes just where they want her;

She nears at last the Lambeth lights,

The trim-built Atalantar.

Sam Snooks his messmates calls around;

He speaks of Poll and beauty:

When suddenly a grating sound

Tells them the vessel's run aground

While they forgot their duty.

NO. II.—BEN BOUNCE.

My name's Ben Bounce, d'ye see,

A tar from top to toe, sirs.

I'm merry, blithe and free,

A marling-spike I know, sirs.

In friendship or in love,

I climb the top-sail's pinnacle,

But in a storm I always prove

My heart's abaft the binnacle.

I fear no foreign foe,

But cruise about the river;

As up and down I go

My timbers never shiver.

When off life's end I get,

I'll make no useless rumpus;

But off my steam I'll let,

And box my mortal compass.

NO. III.—THE CAPTAIN'S ROUNDELAY.

Away, away, we gaily glide

Far from the wooden pier;

And down into the gushing tide

We drop the sailor's tear.

On—with the strong and hissing steam,

And seize the pliant wheel;

Of days gone by I fondly dream,

For oh! the tar must feel!

Quick, let the sturdy painter go,

And put the helm a-port;

Lay, lay the lofty funnel low,

And keep the rigging taut.

'Tis true, my tongue decision shows,

I act the captain's part;

But oh! there's none on board that knows

The captain's aching heart.

Upon the paddle-box all day

I've stood, and brav'd the gale,

While the light vessel made her way

Without a bit of sail.

And as upon its onward flight

The steamer cut the wave,

My crew I've order'd left and right,

My stout—my few—my brave!

NO. IV.—TO MARY.

Afloat, ashore, ahead, astern,

With winds propitious or contrary.

(I do not spin an idle yarn.)

No—no, belay! I love thee, Mary.

Amidships—on the Bentinck shrouds,

Athwart the hawse, astride the mizen,

Watching at night the fleecy clouds,

Your Harry wishes you were his'n.

Then let us heave the nuptial lead,

In Hymen's port our anchors weighing;

Thy face shall be the figure-head

Our ship shall always be displaying.

But when old age shall bid us luff,

Our honest tack will never vary,

But I'll continue Harry Bluff,

And thou my little light-built Mary.


Tourist on Scotch steamer

CUMULATIVE!

Tourist (on Scotch steamer). "I say, steward, how do you expect anybody to dry their hands on this towel? It's as wet as if it had been dipped in the sea!"

Steward. "Aweel—depped or no depped, there's a hundred fouk hae used the toowl, and ye're the furrst that's grummelt!"


Margate excursion boat

The Margate excursion boat arrives at 2.30 p.m., after a rather boisterous passage.

Ticket Collector (without any feeling). "Ticket, sir! Thankye, sir! Boat returns at 3!"


Mothers Pet

Mothers Pet.

"Oh, there's ma on the beach, looking at us, Alfred; let's make the boat lean over tremendously on one side!"


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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