Mr. Punch's Railway Book :: "THE NURSERY SALOON ON THE RAILWAY"

"THE NURSERY SALOON ON THE RAILWAY"

Our Artist's Notion of what we may expect if the Suggestion were Adopted

refreshment bar	sleeping cradles	Rattles	nurse guards	amusing toys
The saloon is fitted with refreshment bar, replete with all baby delicacies.	Patent swing sleeping cradles can be secured by wire or letter.	Rattles can be obtained at most of the large stations.	Efficient nurse guards, to look after the babies, travel by all trains.	The saloon is fitted with amusing toys, to beguile the tedium of long journeys.

RAILWAY PUZZLE

To find the name of the station.

VICARIOUS

VICARIOUS!

(On the Underground Railway)

Irascible Old Gentleman (who is just a second too late). "Confound and D——!"

Fair Stranger (who feels the same, but dare not express it). "Oh, thank you, so much!"

UNDERGROUND RAILWAY

Old Lady. "Well, I'm sure no woman with the least sense of decency would think of going down that way to it."

REGULAR IRREGULARITY

Passenger (in a hurry). "Is this train punctual?"

Porter. "Yessir, generally a quarter of an hour late to a minute!"

Just saved it

Perspiring Countryman (who has just, with the utmost difficulty, succeeded in catching train). "Phew! Just saved it by t'skin o' my teeth!"

BETTER NOT TO KNOW

"'TIS BETTER NOT TO KNOW"

Impudent Boy (generally). "Try yer weight—only a penny!" (To lady of commanding proportions in particular.) "'Tell yer 'xact weight to a hounce, mum!"

APPALLING DISCLOSURES

APPALLING DISCLOSURES OVERHEARD BY AN OLD LADY IN THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO RUFFIANS IN A RAILWAY CARRIAGE.

First Artist. "Children don't seem to me to sell now as they used."

Second Artist (in a hoarse whisper). "Well, I was at Stodge's yesterday. He'd just knocked off three little girls' heads—horrid raw things—a dealer came in, sir—bought 'em directly—took 'em away, wet as they were, on the stretchers, and wanted Stodge to let him have some more next week."

NECESSITIES OF LIFE

"Yes, my lady. James went this morning with the hunters, and I've sent on the heavy luggage with Charles. But I've got your pencil-case, the bicycle, your ladyship's golf clubs and hunting crop and billiard cue, the lawn tennis racket, the bezique cards and markers, your ladyship's betting book and racing glasses and skates and walking-stick—and if I've forgotten anything I can easily wire back for it from the first station we stop at."

A STRIKING ATTITUDE

Patience on a trunk waiting for a cab

RAILWAY JUGGERNAUT

THE RAILWAY JUGGERNAUT OF 1845

AFTER A DERBY-WINNER-DINNER

Diner. "Ticket."

Clerk. "What station?"

Diner. "Wha-stashun ve-you-got?"

THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM

"THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM"

Mr. Foozler (who, while waiting for the last train, has wandered to the end of the platform, opened the door of the signal-box, and watched the signalman's manipulations of the levers for some moments with hazy perplexity, suddenly). "Arf o' Burt'n 'n birrer f' me, guv'nor!"

you reckon by legs on this line

"Third-class single to Ruswarp, please, and a dog ticket. How much?"

"Fourpence-halfpenny—threepence for the dog, and three-halfpence for yourself."

"Ah! you reckon by legs on this line."

QUESTION SETTLED

THE QUESTION SETTLED

Mrs. M-l-pr-p. "The fact is, my love, that these terrible collusions would never occur if the trains was only more punctilious!"

A Needless Panic.—Mrs. Malaprop is puzzled to know what people mean when they talk of the present alarming Junction of affairs. She hopes it has nothing to do with the railways, in which she has some Deference shares.

Thought by a Railway Director.—Britannia used to rule the waves. She now rules the land—with lines.

Clyx.com