  (Perfectly at the Service of any Railway Company) Delays are dangerous. A train in time saves nine. Live and let live. After a railway excursion, the doctor. Do not halloo till you are out of the train. Between two trains we fall to the ground. Fire and water make good servants but bad masters. A director is known by the company he keeps. A railway train is the thief of time. There is no place like home—but the difficulty is to get there. The farther you go, the worse is your fare. It's the railway pace that kills. The great charm about a railway accident is that, no matter how many lives are lost, "no blame is ever attached to any one." A railway is long, but life is short—and generally the longer a railway, the shorter your life. A Distinction with a Difference.—Disappointed Porter (to Mate). I thought you said he was a gentleman. Mate. No, that's where you mistook me. I said he was a gent. how do you get it over the fences? Sylvanus. "Foxes are scarce in my country; but we manage it with a drag now and then!" Urbanus. "Oh—er—yes. But how do you get it over the fences?" will you please to move Porter. "Now, marm, will you please to move, or was you corded to your box?" THERE BE LAND RATS "THERE BE LAND RATS"Jack Ashore. "Bill, just keep a heye on my jewel-case 'ere while I go and get the tickets. There's a lot o' sharks always cruisin' about these railway stations, I've heard!" Where are you for? AFTER AN EASTERTIDE FESTIVITY—ON THE INNER CIRCLEGuard. "Where are you for?" Old Gent. "I'm oright—Edgware Road." Guard. "Well, mind you get out this time. You've been round three times!" |
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