THE PROMOTER'S VADE MECUM

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(Subject to Revision after the Vacation)

Question. What is meant by the promotion of a company?

Answer. The process of separating capital from its possessor.

Q. How is this end accomplished?

A. By the preparation and publication of a prospectus.

Q. Of what does a prospectus consist?

A. A front page and a statement of facts.

Q. Define a front page.

A. The bait covering the hook, the lane leading to the pitfall, the lath concealing the quagmire—occasionally.

Q. Of what is a front page composed?

A. Titles, and other suggestions of respectability.

Q. How are these suggestions obtained?

A. In the customary fashion.

Q. Can a banking account be put to any particular service in the promotion of a company?

A. Certainly; it eases the wheels in all directions.

Q. Can it obtain the good-will of the Press?

A. Only of questionable and usually short-lived periodicals.

Q. But the destination of the cash scarcely affects the promoter?

A. No; for he loses in any case.

Q. How much of his profits does he sometimes have to disgorge?

A. According to circumstances, from three-fifths to nineteen-twentieths of his easily-secured takings.

Q. And what does promotion do for the promoter?

A. It usually bestows upon him temporary prosperity.

Q. Why do you say "temporary"?

A. Because a pleasant present is frequently followed by a disastrous future.

Q. You mean, then, that this prosperity is like the companies promoted, "limited"?

A. Yes, by the Court of Bankruptcy.


Every morning's a fresh morning

"ON 'CHANGE"

Brown. "Mornin'. Fresh mornin', ain't it?"

Smith. "'Course it is. Every morning's a fresh morning! By-bye!"

[Brown's temper all day is quite unbearable.

British Workmen

Sympathetic Passer-by. "But if he's badly hurt, why doesn't he go to the hospital?"

British Workman. "Wot! In 'is dinner-time!!"


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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