MR. PUNCH'S LIFE IN LONDON (2)

Previous

The City "Article."—Money.


From the Streets.—A street conjuror complained the other day that he couldn't throw the knives and balls about, because he did not feel in the vein.

"In what vein?" asked a bystander, weakly.

"The juggler vein, of course, stupid!" was the answer.

[The bystander retired.


A Light Employment.—Cleaning windows.


"The Model Ready Reckoner."—The man with his last shilling.


Money-Market and City Intelligence.—Operators for the rise—aeronauts; likewise anglers.


Just Off—the Bourse.Stockbroker (to Client who has been pretty well loaded with certain scrip). Well, it just comes to this. Are you prepared to go the whole hog or none?

Client (timidly). I think I'd rather go the none.


What Colour should Parasites Dress in?—Fawn.


HOUSEHOLD HINTS FOR ECONOMICAL MANAGERS

How to Obtain a good Serviceable Light Porter.—Take a pint of stout, and add a quart of spring water. There you have him.

How to make Hats last.—Make everything else first.

How to Prevent Ale from Spoiling.—Drink it.

How to Avoid being Considered above your Business.—Never live over your shop.

How to make your Servants rise.—Send them up to sleep in the attics.


Bus Driver

Bus Driver (to charioteer of broken-down motor-car). "I've been tellin' yer all the week to taike it 'ome, an' now yer wants to, yer cawn't!"


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Clyx.com


Top of Page
Top of Page