  You start a company to make it go, It fails, and so you drop it; It didn't go but yet has gone, and so You wind it up to stop it. Stocks in your garden you will surely find By want of rain are slaughtered; Yet many stocks have languished and declined Because they have been watered. Suppose a company for brewing beer Should come to a cessation— That is—"dry up" 'tis curious to hear It's called "in liquidation." Prehistoric London.Some archÆologists have discovered an analogy between the druidical worship and a form of semitic idolatry. It has been surmised that the Old Bailey derives its name from having been the site of a temple of Baal. The Rule of Rome.—An "Inquiring City Clerk," fresh from his Roman history, writes to ask if "S.P.Q.R." stands for "Small profits, quick returns." A Temperance Public-house.—A slop-shop. MELTING MOMENTS MELTING MOMENTS(Temperature 95° in the Shade.) Friend. "How does this weather suit you, old chap?" Bankrupt Proprietor. "Oh, down to the ground! You see, I'm in liquidation! The Original Cook's Tourist.—Policeman X on his beat. "The Great Plague of London."—A barrel-organ. The Latest Thing Out.—The night-light. How much do you require Johnny (who has to face a bad Monday, to Manager at Messrs. R-thsch-ld's). "Ah! I—want to—ah!—see you about an overdraft." Manager. "How much do you require?" Johnny. "Ah!—how much have you got?" French Lady French Lady. "Picca-di-lee Circus." Obliging Conductor. "All right. One pence." French Lady (who rather prides herself on her English pronunciation). "I anterstond ze Engleeshe langue." Obliging Conductor. "Oh, all right. Keep yer 'air on!" The Most Unpleasant Meeting.—Having to meet a bill. What intimate connection is there between the lungs of London and the lights of the metropolis? Saw for Slop Tailors.—Ill tweeds shrink apace. A Tissue of Lies.—A forged bank-note. A Nice Investment.—Amongst the advertisements of new undertakings we notice one of "The Universal Disinfector Company." Our broker has instructions to procure us some shares, if they are in good odour. A Tight Fit.—Intoxication. How to Supply St. Paul's with Bells and Chimes Cheap.—Melt down the canons. A Thought from our Tub.—Respect everybody's feelings. If you wish to have your laundress's address, avoid asking her where she "hangs out." Hard Lines.—Overhead wires. Hotel for Bee-Fanciers.—The Hum-mums. Unprecedented Trade Announcement.—The pig-market was quiet. Money Market and Sanitary Intelligence.—The unsafest of all deposits is the deposit of the banks of the Thames. The Place to Spend All Fools' Day.—Madame Tous-sots'. You're quite safe Bus-driver. "All right, ladies! You're quite safe. They're werry partikler wot they eats!" METROPOLITAN IMPROVEMENTS METROPOLITAN IMPROVEMENTSThe next sensational literary advertisement; or, things of beauty in our streets. Solemn Jest.—Where should postmen be buried? In a post-crypt. A Blunder-Bus.—One that takes you to Holborn when you want to go to the Bank. Epitaph for a Stockbroker.—"Waiting for a rise." Board Wages.—Directors' fees. |
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