  By Dumb-Crambo, off his own bat. Man painting wickets PITCHING THE WICKET cartoon A MAIDEN OVER——? Carriage ride to Brighton pavillion A DRIVE TO THE PAVILION Man proposing marriage. HOLDING A CATCH To be seen for Nothing.—The play of the features. Motto for British Cricketers.—Strike only at the ball! A FEW QUESTIONS ON CRICKET Q. What is "fielding"? A. The author of Tom Jones. Q. How do you stop a ball? A. By putting out the lights. Q. When does a party change sides? A. When he's in bed, and got the fidgets. Q. What do you call "a long slip"? A. A hundred songs for a halfpenny. Q. How much is game? A. It depends whether it's in season. Fancy our dear old lady's horror when she heard that last week, at Lord's, a cricketer had bowled a maiden over. "Poor thing!" exclaimed Mrs. R., "I hope she was picked up again quickly, and wasn't much hurt." PHILOSOPHY AT THE POPPING CREASE "The glorious uncertainty?" why, to be sure, That it must be the slowest should see at a glance, For cricket, as long as the sport shall endure, Must be in its nature a mere game of chance, "'Tis all pitch and toss"; one can show it is so;— 'T isn't science or strength rules its losses or winnings. Half depends on the "pitch"—of the wickets, you know, The rest on the "toss"—for first innings. The umpire makes a decision. Bowler (his sixth appeal for an obvious leg-before). "'Ow's that?" Umpire (drawing out watch). "Well, he's been in ten minutes now—Hout!" Umpire, a Fireman, runnig to obey a fire call. Our Village Cricket Club.—Tom Huggins, of the local fire brigade, umpires for the visiting team in an emergency. Laden, as is usual, with their wealth, watches, etc., he hears the fire-bell, and obeys duty's call without loss of time! Lady speaking to cricketer, awaiting his turn to bat. The Limitations of Fame.—"And what are you?" "Oh, I'm the wicket-keeper." "Then why aren't you busy taking the gate-money?" CON. FOR A CRICKETER Miss Nelly sits cool in the cricketer's booth And watches the game, about which, in good sooth, Her curious interest ne'er ceases. She now wants to know of the flannel-clad youth, However the wickets can well be kept smooth, When she hears they are always in creases! Miltonic Meditation (by a looker-on at lawn-tennis).—"They also serve who only stand and wait." Appropriate to the Season. Q. What is double as good a game as Fives? A. (evident) Tennis. Going to the Deuce.—Getting thirty to forty at lawn-tennis. Suggestion to Provincial Lawn-Tennis Club.—Why not give lawn-tennis balls in costume during the winter? Most Appropriate Attire.—A "grass-lawn" tennis costume. The Game for Rackety Bishops.—Lawn-tennis. Two ladies talking. Miss Delamode (of Belgravia). "Well, dear, I must be off. Don't you love Lord's?" Miss Dowdesley (of Far-West Kensingtonia). "I'm sure I should, only——" (immersed in her own dreams)—"We don't know any!" OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUB At our opening match, Spinner, the demon left-hander, was again in great form. His masterly skill in placing the field, and his sound knowledge of the game, really won the match for us. Bowler setting out fielders. "About three feet nine to the right, please, Colonel—that is to say, your right. That's it. Back a little, just where the buff Orpington's feeding. Thanks." OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUB Bowler positioning fielder. "You, Mr. Stewart, by this thistle. Just to save the one, you know." OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUB Cricketer taking guard His ruses were magnificent. When the Squire came in, Spinner (who had previously held a private consultation with the other bowler) shouted, "You won't want a fine leg for this man. Put him deep and square. And then—— OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUB Batsman caught out by bowler. The Squire was neatly taken first ball off a glance at fine leg by Spinner himself, who had crossed over (exactly as arranged) from his place at slip. |
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