"Attendance is charged in the bill!

Delighted we sit down to dine;

And order our food and our wine.

The waiter is passing polite,

We eat with a grand appetite

Of dishes compounded with skill.

The room is so cosy and light;

The glass and the silver are bright;

Our flag of defiance is furled,

We seem all at peace with the world,

And rest quite contented until——

Attendance is charged one and nine.

We pay its collector a fine;

And give to the waiter polite

A tip he regards as his right

And duty of ours to fulfil!

The carver, too, looks for a fee;

The man with our coat, so does he!

The porter expects something more,

Who calls us a cab at the door!——

"Attendance is charged in the bill!"