  (In consequence of the Growing Demand for Lighter Liquors)
Smith. I say, Brown, if it is not an impertinent question, where did you get that toast-and-water? Brown. I thought you would be deceived! It was a cup, not the pure article! My butler is a first-rate hand at it. I will give you the recipe if you like. Smith. Do. It was excellent. What is the secret? Brown. Something, I fancy, to do with watercress. Jones. I say, Brown, that was really very nice sherbet. Turkish or Persian? Brown. Neither. Came from the Stores. Home-made. Jones. Well, it certainly was capital. I could have sworn that it had been manufactured east of the Levant. Brown. More likely east of Temple Bar. And now shall we have a whitewash before we join the ladies? Six Guests. No, thanks! Really not! Half-a-dozen more of the Company. Really not! No, thanks! Brown. Nonsense! (Produces a pint bottle of lemonade.) Nonsense, I repeat! Look here, my boys. (Locks door.) Not one of you fellows shall leave the room until you have finished this!
won't they let you go into long trousers A PERSONAL GRIEVANCE"I say, won't they let you go into long trousers?" STUDIES IN ANIMAL LIFE STUDIES IN ANIMAL LIFEThe Goormong. (Epicuri de Grege Porcus. British Isles) Mr. Huggins. "What a 'eavenly dinner it was!" Mr. Buggins. "B'lieve yer! Mykes yer wish yer was born 'oller!" The New School The New School.—Uncle (who is rather proud of his cellar). "Now George, my boy, there's a glass of champagne for you—don't get such stuff at school, eh? eh? eh?" George. "H'm—awfully sweet! Very good sort for ladies—but I've arrived at a time of life, when I confess I like my wine dry!" (Sensation.) Pleasant! Pleasant!—Lord Reginald Sansdenier (in answer to confidential remark of his host). "Twenty thousand pounds worth of plate on the table, Sir Gorgius? I wonder you ain't afraid of being robbed!" Sir Gorgius Midas. "Robbed, my lord! Good 'evens! I'm sure yer lordship's too honnerable heven to think of sich a thing!" what do you call a pineapple Farmer. "I say, John, what do you call a pineapple—a fruit or a vegetable?" Waiter. "A pineapple hain't neither, gentlemen. A pineapple is always a hextra!" |
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